I promise baby I trust you
And oh, you know I love you

But do you still want me ?
Your little baby
Is so very sick
sick
sick
in the head

Now don't lie to me
Whisper to me quietly
Would I still look as pretty dead?
May I take a peak inside your head?

I need to know

If your favourite colour is red
Or is it blue?
Both seem just as alluring to you

But how should I know?
Is your heart on your sleeve is just a show?
I'll ask, but I already know

you are as lovely within
as you are on the skin

For you
my grinch heart grew
3 sizes, did you say?
Must be our lucky day

send me to the chorus
tropical tunes take me away
drop the bass
let the reverb fade

I have all the time in the world to waste on thoughts of passing yesterdays and let the sky unfold in front of me like one of Picasso's masterpieces-
for the most part it leaves me speechless.
Skill grander than all- you cannot simply teach this

                                     ~

And i feel like lately the thing that kept me (in)sane
was all of that whiskey,
cheap food and *******
dont worry baby
I swear my whole brain chemistrys changed but just keep in mind
all my demons left untamed

No, I don't think I'll never be the same me
I'll always be a little crazy
All because of these
finely ground, exhilerating white lines
in between petty crimes

from bathroom stalls to thousand dollar coffee tables
each cut a string loose
that was keeping my floaty mind stable
coming back to reality,
a complex cat's cradles
all going on under the table

With everything so sporatic, did you read all of my tale?
But only those with displayed dedication know if it is fact or fable.

I could listen to your soulful melodies sung to me, lovely
all night long
Play with the curls that fall in mishappened beauty past the long lashed brown irises,
That I simply not resist
I could paint worlds, and write oceans to each and every song
Nothing can describe how your lips feel touching mine, even now sitting lone & my heads still spinning
When I left that night he told me I was winning,
Oh. The teasing game, we open our souls and pull heartstrings with no shame
And it's you my dear for these arrythmatic heart patterns, I blame
Head against your broad chest,
I know you feel the same

I savour each unique, little patterned frozen water molecule resting on the tips of our equally generous lashes.
Though our lips and faces freeze, bare skin fairs poorly against this cold.
Your eyes speak of a summer time it seems was so long ago.
Those mahongany, chestnut irises- with them I can't wait to watch the sunset.
So much power, passion and talent in you rests yet.
Clear that troubled mind and embrace it
Accept the god given talents the gifts you are given
Modesty I can understand but needn't you keep it so hidden?
For love your character already has this little lady so smitten.
You can call me kitten, sir
Or whatever knocks on your mental door
*****, love, baby or your ***** little *****
Over each of these to my stomach my heart seems to fall
But, I'm proud to say
To you, I am them all.

Through and through,
you write from the small
woven cavities in your chest
well, only those you
allow to be expressed
and if you weren't
a million miles away dear?
I'd put you back
together so fine
you never need shed a tear

As good as my heart is
which is covered
most now in black
I haven't a clue where
I'm supposed to live
so on matters of home
its hard to go back.

Go,
go where your heart pulls you
listen & love the earths warm sighs
exploring the globe from every side
happiness, freedom, calm
you'll find,
dear just keep me on your mind
for life works its way
in time

the
      outside of
my hard
         heart he chisels,

                               and melts the inside with                   his heated stare.

Sir
      always
                seems
                         to make up for all of the

            



       missed-kisses

                                      he places them

     stratigically,


                                irrestibly
    

  across my skin- bare,
  goosebump covered,
  shaking like a wee leaf
  
  gentle with strength beneath,
  passionate, heart filled
  sweet release

enjoying our missed kisses

If you fell,
                   starlight

   I would catch you

                                     But,

    You just keep shooting across the sky

With lights outside, around the houses and white snowy trees they are lined.
If we were out there we'd surely be cold
So, in here I'm grateful that it is you I hold...

But thats not how this story goes,

He:
Pushed me up against the wall
**** -forceful, yet gentle-
Please,
              Sir*,
                     I want it all

The urge to obey
Is so engrained

But baby I can't help myself today
I want you so bad I can barely breathe
I can feel my pulse all the way
through my shaking body
To the moisture down underneath

Brings me back
To the bed, I know he can't help himself
But strip me of my clothing
And pleasure me to high hell

You're just the right person
to put me back together,
and make every tiny little piece fit.
But this isnt a puzzle
Its broken glass,
shattered so bad,
that some fragments are like sand
Each shard sharp enough
to draw blood

Even if
You somehow got past
The bigger, sharper moments
And laid them out on the table
They still wouldnt all fit together
Theres just certain
things that dissintegrated
when I was dropped from far too high
Far too young, to understand why
There are still things missing
That will never fill the gaps
Even all super glued stuck together
I cant help but notice the cracks
I'll never be anybodys
perfect shiny new baby doll
And that fact alone,
Continues to let me fall

But **** it all and **** it!
I'll smoke myself to sleep
Why do I need a warm body when I've got substances to keep me feeling like
Theres some kind of
sustenance to my exsistence
some sort of end all to this life long mission
For Ive never had the expectation to do anything academically ambitious
Or even societially accepted- even thats not much to gain.
My own mother cant accept the offspring shes produced, even to this day
And even if she started now, at this point, what could I really say?
Thank you for finally saying that after
all the ******* and yelling
and screaming and violence
its all just gonna be okay?
Like we could pretend we've had a relationship for years on years building
Just her showing a tad of affection
to me is a little chilling
I cant justify it if i tried
a hurricane inside
That being said
Its all just in my mind.

These little broken wings, petals almost- reside in the pit of my stomach. Dead perhaps- and with that my heart plumets.
Feather soft, tiny sighs
Dormant little butterflies
But,
When he kissed me
I felt that static surge of electricity,
how could this come to be?
That now everything
Is alive
Inside of me.

but in my mind
we're somewhere in your car
and it's raining ******* a street like yours.
you've got your lips on mine
and our hearts on fire
so how could we ever
lose each other?

the taste of her breath, I'll never get over.
              the noises that she made kept me awake.

             ohhhh,
              
              the weight of things, that remain unspoken.
              built up so much it crushed us everyday.

Now, I don't know if I can say this fast enough cause this boiling hot anger is what makes it tough. Cause you know I hate your ******* guts and you shouldnt be surprised that if you ever crossed my mind again all I'd be wishin' is that you'd die.
Ya just a no good *******, cause I was still givin' you head while I was gettin' hit. I shoulda pulled a blade while you were gettin' it, shoulda been like fffft and cut off that little *****. Now I'm not sayin' you've got a tiny ****, ya just like ya mama A PSYCHOTIC LITTLE *****. I know I'm ******* right, y'all are the same ******* height and I ain't stayin' with someone whose 5'4 for life.
Somethin' that makes me real sick is the fact that I fed your *** while I put gas in that ****** civic. If I'da saved that cash I'd be ballin' & lit.
If's, And's & But's -I don't **** with that ****.
I can't believe I kissed lips that only had
purpose to spit. Cause all I heard outta them was "Oh, Baby!" & BitchBitchBitch.
So lemme cut to the chase- I think you mighta liked it when she spat your own *** in your face.
Now no ones gonna hate,
but I gotta give a *** props
That was a 10 pt head shot!

So listen once, listen now
I'm not bout what you about
Baby you never shoulda had a doubt
Or should I say little *****?
**** it,
I'm out.

The reason why I love you
Must be because I hate myself.
I know, this time and place doesnt help.
But baby this is worse
than any pain I've ever felt

You're killing me slowly  
day by day
I bleed
and my wounds remain unknit,
to spill my guts to the floor to
leave me open
stranded

He watches from aside,
As I kiss his picture
and take my own life
I wonder if he'd even cry
If he had watched me die

I thought by now I'd already be dead
Picked at my thoughts until sores and scabs opened up my head
Chewed at my brain until my thoughts were but shreds
Removed my skull
And filled my open cranium brimming with lead
Though a blank stare, and emptiness inside
Tears will make their weary way,
and so I cry
Though I want to so desperately,
I know I cant hide
That I can still remember that look in your eyes.

Differing perceptions, we divide.
We stumble through the numerous next rhetorical back-hands;
with magnetizing animosity, once again we collide.

Flame on flame, the heat of your tone burns me
because you're so unfortunately locked dead inside
and in I, you've discovered a key.

Toes occasionally submerged between the small bubbles, reflecting off the moon above the sand.
I walk the end of the map, where the ocean pours off to oblivion, your heart clasped within my hand.

I paddle out into the rapids, my last woven strengths carry me
tirelessly overdue, with courage & trial
I return the dead-mans chest to the sea.

She applies her lipstick liberally, a dark plum bordeaux

Her face a painted mascarade, she wears to every show.
Her smile has him merciful, begging on his knees

On stage he reveals a violet lip print on his neck
marking where she sank her teeth.

Like the seasons, we

                 flirt, ****, hate, repeat

                           an incredible future upon each of our shoulders

                          and who knew it'd be the thing that holds us

back from everything we've ever felt together

we both knew we meant forever

                                                                             but slowly, surely

                                                                                        day by day

I assure you darling,

*I'm fading away.

Your still drowning in my mind,
           you do this on purpose.

                                                Calamity on the surface,

waves of comm
                             uni
                                      cation dead

Floating in the ocean of my head

                                        Among the graveyard of ships,
       and all left for dead.
                                                                   Lies all of the things

that we left
                                    unsaid.

a skateboard rolling down the road
simple things, lovely- old.
reminds me
of you & I
times we've smile
and many we've cried.

A little piece of my heart,
of past,
present,
and future.

To my ears you are a song,
to my wounds, a suture.

I see a man, with the eyes of a child I'd once known
years doubled over, past
and look how we've grown.

bitter-sweet memories
written down for you to see

*but, I know you already know.

My body stuck awake, with all his beautiful words painted in my head from yesterday. It's 5 am, and I still don't have a word to say; an old-fashioned romance, we remain all but intimate. The saccharine serenity of his skin against mine, the brush of a kiss we share time to time. It all seems so much sweeter, with time passing beneath us

And,
everyday it feels
just a little
easier to breathe

a load off my chest
an unfamiliar ease.


Your chiselled-to-perfection smile chips away
the cheap, peeling paint
of my tired displays

in the ocean of my eye you are no such castaway
I can do my best to promise you I'll never just walk away


You told me you wanted to fly
(I've always been scared of heights)

But instead of giving me wings,
you taught me how to take flight.

Out of the corner of his eye he spotted,
                       a young woman,
        with dark red hair
                                    eyes of forest green
    and skin ever fair.

She smiled, her red blooming tulips.
               The sun in her gaze,
   for they shined.
                                             "and I wish they were mine"

                                                                    but,
what
he
  doesn't
   know
    is
     she's
      gotta
       man
         back
          at
           home
             and
               she
                 won't
                    wear
                       her
                         rings
                            when
                              she's
                                going
                                    on
                                      patrol.

A breeze caressing my bare legs, a gift from the soft blue sky
it feels good to be full again, with a slight scent of red wine.
The gentle waves kiss the rocky shore, with the white foam rimmed water
they carry an essence of a long lost home, memories with grandfather.
And the sister I lost not so long ago, leaves her paw prints in the sand
because I know, no matter where I go, at my side she'll stand.
The only thing my heart seems to long for, a new kind of high
a buzz brought to me, by simply one thing
that look in his beautiful brown eyes.

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I'm his *******,
                              
                                       he's my ******

we'll use each other
                                              
                                                all night long

so we'll never
                                              
                                              "not

                                                      feel

                                              high"

                                                                           again.

Life changes so very fast
The future- time to make-up for the past

But what do I want anymore?
I see no light at the end of the tunnel
or various open doors

Instead, I witness
The most magnificent periwinkle-blue sky
in front of me.

Three can keep a secret
                                                                                         if two of them are dead

I'll bury all the bodies
                                                                                    to keep these words unsaid

Don't think you are
the last standing of
your kind

In the dewy hot springs,
between mountains and valleys
I reside

Today, peering down from
the very top of Everest;
absolutely terrified

No time for hesitation,
I've gotta jump
I've gotta fly