Sometimes I get so mad I just have to cry

I'm not really violent
Lately though people are pushing my buttons over and over
Stretching me past my breaking point
I barely keep my anger inside from coming out
One more push though and I think I'll blow up
One more push and snap
I'm so fed up
So don't push me please because I'm close to blowing

What would you do if I told you I love you?

Today is world poetry day
I don't know why so few people know about this
Poetry is amazing, and so are all the people who make it
I think today is the day people should let the world know that poetry is awesome
Hello all you poets and poetess write away and continue to make art with words
Continue to make people feel amazed
Happy World Poetry Day everyone!

NightMare
  Feels like I’m living in a nightmare
Slowly drifting off to no-where
Living in this world but no-one seems to care.
It’s all so Scarey!
So I’ll pull on my hair so I can be free
I can’t wake up though cause I’m rooted down like a tree.
I can’t open my eyes
I don’t even know why I try
I fell water forming in my eyes as I begin to cry.
I need to talk to somebody but I’m to shy
So I’ll retract into my mind and ask myself why?
Why am I so scared of this world?
Probably because everything is soiled.
Feels like I’m living in a nightmare
Slowly drifting off to no-where
Living in this world but no one seems to care.
It’s all so scarey!
Now I’m afraid of the dark
I jump when dogs bark
I’m even scared to go to the park
Swimming? Forget that,there might be a shark.
Everything just leaves me with another mark.
I try to think of ways out but nothing seems to spark.
It always starts good but then everything just falls apart.
Story of my life man
I got scared so I ran.
Feels like I’m living in a nightmare
Slowly drifting off to no-where
Living in this world but no one seems to care.
It’s all so scarey!
I’m so tired but I’m afraid to fall asleep
Cause every time I close my  eyes something tries to hurt me.
I’m surprised they even try
Cause for sure they want a prize
But they aren’t going to get anything though cause
I’m finally waking up
I’m not whimpering like a pup
As I quit my pout…ing
I no longer need to shout.
That’s what I want to happen but it won’t.
  Feels like I’m living in a nightmare
Slowly drifting off to no-where
Living in this world but no-one seems to care.
It’s all so Scarey!
Everyday is just more wear and tear.
I live my life in fear
I can’t even spare a tear.
  Feels like I’m living in a nightmare
Slowly drifting off to no-where
Living in this world but no-one seems to care.
I’m so scared.
The whole world is just so scarey
I need a magic fairy
To make it through my days of nightmares.
I’m living in a nightmare
Slowly drifting off to no-where
But not one seems to care.
So I’ll disappear.
Feels like I’m living in a nightmare
I live in a nightmare
All I see is nightmares
Nightmares
All I hear is nightmares
Nightmares
All I feel is nightmares
Nightmares
Night                                  mares

So your feeling down? Your feeling like you are nothing? See everyone has a thing called self esteem, it's how you feel about yourself, but a shocking 85% of people suffer from low self esteem. A disease where you have no confidence in yourself. Here's the thing YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. Margaret Wolfe Hungerford once said, "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" now I want you to think about everything you think of as imperfect or a flaw in yourself.
Ok? Now think about this, to someone that stuff is either non existent or what makes you perfect to them. This makes me feel better about myself already how about you?
Now I want you to think about everybody you've ever said hi t without them saying hi first, you could have been there rock, there reason to live all from saying hi. Have you ever looked at an ok drawing or painting and said "Wow this belongs in a museum." Do you remember how you felt, pretty good right like a surge of joy?  You are beautiful and you are perfect to someone

How could you do this?
How could you do this?
Now I don't mean to come off like I'm obsessing about you
But I obsessively obsess about the things I've done
Remember back when I said I'm sorry?
Told you I felt like a drain
Told you I felt like I cause pain
Well now I'm back again
Let me apologize for apologizing
I don't really think before I say stuff
You probably gonna look at this like "this *****"
But that's okay I don't really need your opinions, I'm growing up
But I need to know
What I do wrong?
Hey, hey, hey!
What I do wrong?
Ye I know I apologise alot
But that's just my thoughts
I know I can be kinda obsessive and possessive
I know I can be kinda emotional
I know loving me can be a struggle
I swear I'm getting better though
Got a therapist and I'm getting back on my meds
Maybe they can fix my head
Maybe they can get rid of the dread
Maybe they can explain why I want to be dead
This isn't a pity party
I'm just telling you what's going on inside of my head
Hey, hey, hey!
What I do wrong?
Remember back when you said you loved me
Said you weren't ready for a relationship
But you could own me
That made me feel kinda funny
Like I was just a little play toy
Like I was nothing more to you than a quick fix
I see you got a new sub
I still hope they'll be better than me
I still wish nothing but the best
But I gotta know
What I do wrong?
Hey, hey, hey!
What I do wrong?
Sometimes I wish you'd leave me alone
But then you message me and I just can't let go
See you feeling kinda depresso
Hit you up like "hey, what's wrong, can I help you?"
I guess that's just my deepest fear
That I can't save you
I think it comes from some previous life trauma
Think I'm afraid to loose
Cause I lost my mama
Not to death but to my self hatred
Hit her up like
Hey, hey, hey!
What I do wrong?

Yea! Ok uh-huh
I know the roads hard
You lost and trying to find yourself
Wanna grab the shard
Seems like the lights so far away
Every day it's a struggle
Can't find a reason to breathe
Eyes gone and you can't see
Wanna take the pills, wanna OD
Gonna set yourself free
Let it all go
Cause your broke inside (cause you're broke inside)
Looking for a reason to stay
But everything looks gray
The stress is getting to me
and I will admit, I am not ready
Not ready to face the demons of society
That's too much anxiety
Thoughts overwhelming and I just wanna sleep
But I sit here, letting the tears flow as I weep
***** scary and I don't wanna take a peep
but to find your light in the dark you gotta dig deep
Deeper than the ocean, deeper than the sea
Deeper than anything you wanna be
(CRAZY GOOD INSTRUMENTAL SOLO)
But life can be a scary thing
SO!
Lock the doors
I'm staying inside of my room
Feeling full of gloom
and my faith is doom
My happiness is consumed
I feel the hand of despair
Man this life just isn't fair
Struggling to breathe I need more air
But I don't wanna pay the fare
To go somewhere,
where I don't need to be aware
Reach this peace I find it there
You know that magic has a cost
But for me, it's lost
So help me find the reason
'Cause right now my mind screams treason

Tonight we win
Tonight we sing
Cause you and me
We'll defeat the enemy
Hold my hand you'll see
We'll make it be alright

Tonight we win
Tonight we sing

I wish I had one last chance
To hold you in my arms
To see you smile
The thought of you being gone defiles
The memories we shared together
I wish I had one last chance
To hear you laugh
To listen to every paragrah that you spoke
To laugh together at one last joke
To have a war of pokes
Now that your gone I feel deaths fingers on my neck
I begin to choke
I wish I had one last chance
To roleplay with you
To exchange crazy ideas
To have an ideal party
To  hear you say I’m not smart as I call you a smarty
To smell your scent
To know your listening as I vent
To see your eyes shine
To know your mine
To sip on wine
Your gone and I’m having trouble living
I wish I had one last chance
To listen as you educate
To go an skate
To get away from the harsh world
To watch you unfurl a flag
To play tag
You left me all alone
It hurts inside to know
That you didn’t think you could talk to me
I wish I had one last chance
To be with you

Hello followers and likers
I feel like I owe you guys an apology for not putting any poems up
On Saturday and Sunday, possibly Friday
I will post more poems that I have been working on
I hope you will enjoy them

She exited my life without evening saying goodbye
I try to refrain but tears stream out my eyes and I begin to cry
I shouldn’t but I want to die
I want to grow wings so I can fly
Fly far away but I know that won’t stop the memories
To get her back I’d  pay countless fee’s
She was the queen of amazingness
Now she’s gone and I feel lifeless
She didn’t judge me on my past
Now I fear she’ll be the last
For the rest of my life I’ll wear a cast
Around my heart, until I pass
I wish I could’ve talked to her one last time
Hold her close and call her mine
Now my eyes have lost their shine
I try to forget my sorrows by drinking wine
I’ll settle for feeling fine
Cause right now my heart is dangling on a line
I need her to come and save it
Cause it’s falling apart bit by bit
She’ gone and I’m falling apart
My poor broken heart
Why she had to go
I don’t know, she wouldn’t say

If I killed myself tonight, what would you do?

listen to me, in the time I've known you I've come to love everything about you. From your smile to your personality, from your attitude(that's a reference to your fighting spirit cause your still alive  BTW) to your caringness. There's not a single thing I or someone else don't like about you. I bet someone is willing to spend all their money for you and you know what they wouldn't care because in their mind that's money well spent. Someone is willing to do anything and everything for you. **** they'd **** myself if it meant letting you live.
I've been through a lot in my life. I've lost quite a few friends to suicide and the one thing I've learned is that all they wanted was help. You have people who want to help. You have people who love and care about you, I'm one. Not only do we care we care deeply for and about you. I'm not giving you an ultimatum because I could never do that to someone I love. I just want you to think about how much it would hurt me and your friend and all the other people you've met and inspired. You did that? Now think how it would feel to you if your killed himself or herself. That doesn't feel to good, I know it doesn't because that's how I've feel many times.  I may not know you as well as your best friend but I know you care about other people. This time though you need to care for yourself. Take a moment and just think about me and your friend and if it helps a third friend as well.
You've done that? I bet you feel happy right? Now think of all the good times you've had with then. Lastly I want you to think of your life goal. How would you achieved that if your dead?

A girl has a lot of *** she’s a ****
A guy has a lot of *** he’s a player
Is it wrong for both sexes to have pleasure
Is it wrong for girls to like *** to
Society what’s wrong with you
You’ve twisted pleasure into something only for guys
A thumbs up for guys if they have a lot of ***
Insults and rude looks for the girls if they have a lot of ***
Do you truly think that it is that bad of a thing
If a girl has a lot of *** and stays clean
It shouldn’t be
If a girl has a lot of *** and is *****
Then it should be but not to the level we have raised it to
The pressure we put on girls to not have ***
Makes them hide their thoughts
It makes them feel stressed
They worry that they will be bullied
They shouldn’t have to go through this
All though I’m a guy I know this is wrong
How come most of society thinks it’s right?

Do you want to stay with me until we’re a 109, baby that’s the number that comes to my mind when I think of all the years I wanna spend with you.
Your love is my drug more addicting than **** and more intoxicating than any alcohol. I crave your acceptance I thirst for your love, I want you all to myself, I don’t want to share, baby you’re my air, I need you to live, I need you to breath, Ohh I need you, I need you, Ohh I need you, I need you.
Your body is prettier than any jewelry, more valuable to me than diamonds or gold. Your beautiful, your beautiful, its true. I crave your acceptance I thirst for your love, I want you all to myself, I don’t want to share, baby you’re my air, I need you to live, I need you to breath, Ohh I need you, I need you, Ohh I need you, I need you.
Baby you can be my hope, a reason to change, my own god, an angel, my personal savior. Release me of my bonds. Take these chains off of me, & set me free, free ,I’m free, finally free. I crave your acceptance I thirst for your love, I want you all to myself, I don’t want to share, baby you’re my air, I need you to live, I need you to breath, Ohh I need you, I need you, Ohh I need you, I need you.
Oh you’re a block I can’t seem to move on, I can’t seem to find away around you, you’re my world, I’m stuck on you, stuck on you, stuck on you.
Craving your acceptance and thirsting for your love.

I crave your acceptance
I thirst for your love
I don’t want to share
Baby you’re my air
I need you to live
I need you to breath
You never see how much I struggle
To make you see the trouble
I go through to have you look at me
I feel these emotions flow through me like the sea
Will you please just notice me
Take a second to talk to me
Will you set these terrible thoughts free
I can’t hold them in anymore
It’s emotional war

I'm insane,
Wanna take ten shots to the brain,
Whether it's alcohol to numb the pain,
Or lead to end it all,
I don't know anymore,
Maybe I should take some Adderall
Cause the voices in my head got me contemplating suicide,
One voice telling me to overdose on triple c
Another one telling me to just drink Hennessy
I'm insane,
Wanna take ten shots to the brain,
Ever since you left me I've been different,
Got me ******* pessimistic,
Cause you left me with nothing to hope for
You didn't just close the door,
You slammed it in my face
Got me wishing I could erase
the memories
Wish I never ******* met you.
I'm insane,
Wanna take ten shots to the brain
Now isn't it just silly that your playing this game?
We used to be perfect
Now I'm about to be ****** suspect
Maybe we can reconnect
Before the voices take effect
I'm insane,
Wanna take ten shots to the brain.
Was I just a test subject
An object to neglect?
A reflect from your ex?
I'm insane,
wanna take ten shots to the brain.

A tidal wave of emotion comes crashing down upon me
As I think about the one I love more than life itself
The feeling I get when I see her is sweet like honey from a bee
It's not small like an elf
I can always smile when I think of her
When I lay alone at night and concentrate I can smell her scent
I know I'm falling in love for sure
To let her know, at her doorstep I leave a hint
A short note to inform her of my feelings
I couldn't just leave her in the dark
She's the thing my body and heart is yearning
I want to enter her life and leave a good mark

Tuesday, September 11, 2001, a sad day in American history a day of grief and mass lost. A day of confusion and fear. A day where more than fear itself was to be feared.
 The September 11 attacks killed 2,996 people and injured more than 6,000 others. Deaths included 265 on the four planes, 2,606 in the World Trade Center and in the surrounding area, and 125 at the Pentagon. These deaths were cruel and unnecessary. These people died early than they had to. 40 brave men and woman took down a hijacked plane to stop it from possibly crashing into the white house or the capitol building, where congress was in session that day. A total of  44 people died on that plane, that includes the 4 hijackeres. A memorial was built for all the deaths on that day but it will never be enough for the people who lost their friends and family.