I’m 7yrs post Jay dropping his first album
When the world opens back up I plan to get noticed without one
I’m out done with people and their ignorance
Quarantine jokes are the new thing but what a hindrance
To the people not laughing because we really living it
Time is of the essence but only when you giving it
Time, running past us
Like its 15mins behind schedule for the last bus
Gotta catch that ride going nowhere
Can’t afford the fare the Gov’s aware but don’t really think its unfair who cares
They talk a good game now all the slaves is essential
Why the big wigs safe at home living presidential
Claiming we all in this together nationally and locally
Remember When you wanted to home school your kids they said they’d suffer socially
Now you mandated
Searching for a platform when you could’ve created it
My heart goes out to the real not the pretenders
School being closed making room for more Brendas
Babies having babies and lacking good guidance
If you thought you lacked problems now the GOV provides them
We all looking for solutions hit me up if you find one
Regurgitated knowledge got me going deaf yet I sympathize with the blind ones
I close my eyes but I’m barely sleeping despite being exhausted
I knew the world had a price to make things right but I didn’t think it would cost this
A penny for my thoughts throw em all in lake erie
So the blind can feel me and the deaf can pretend to hear me
They fear me
People who survive with less
Take the inspiration of nothing doing my best
Is this your observation or is this your test?
I gotta hold my breath
Fold on my bets
No I don’t fear death
But I don’t wanna be next
Cant tell if I’m nervous or this is really shortness of breath
This void
this hole in my chest
I hid my heart instead tearing it apart trying to keep it in check
Is this foretelling the old story foretold from Jesus to Mohammed?
To those who believe in neither
is this your observation or is this your ether?
How you getting clear skies
From a birds eye view
I shoot straight pass the view
This eagle is landing on the roof
The ceiling is glass and I can see the proof
Now white people don’t laugh they understand labeling the Gov the “man” because you’re finally experiencing Them not caring for you
How does it feel
lets be real
You’ve had centuries of hip hop and black reality tv meals
Forgetting You are what you eat
So how does it feel to be me
How does it feel to be meek
To be equipped with a heaven sent strength and still viewed as the weak
Week in and week out things change us
No matter to what religion you subscribe
Or if you follow your spiritual side
Before the time comes that we’re indeed out of time
Or suffering from the great divide
I hope you realize
The importance of how you feel about you inside
Betrayal can lay a veil on the eyes of the real sometimes
Old friends stirring up new lies
I’ve been deemed more loyal by my own side
Be tru to yourself watch from the divine eye
You don’t have to label it 3rd
Believe half of what you see
all of what you dream
  none of what they think
only some of what they see
May love find you in the mist of this silence
May  the seller of lust lower his prices
So you can at minimum afford your vices
But remember as I recite this
Hell has a higher price list
We’ve got to fight this
Even Michael was an angel equipped with violence
Fight for Heaven in your mind
Commit to Heaven in your soul
Scribe about your life so even in the next one your story will be told
Writers... Do not leave your pages blank
Or your people uninspired
For the only way to **** a virus
Is it with a Poets fire...

I'm at war with my own self
Last night I almost lost the battle to mental health
Been over 20yrs since I was sincere

Cant even think of the last time I hugged my mama
Brain clouded I allowed it to be flooded with drama
Yet I keep my head up even when I'm fed up

Never been accepted
So I'm aggressive when it comes to demanding I be respected
I got the heart of an angel, mind of a scholar, I move with honor...never did nothing strange for no amount of dollars

Imagine feeling anguish that is not taking place in the physical
Depression doesn't leave traces that can be picked up in a physical
If my body seems fine the Dr wont ask; so I grin and bare and continue to wear my mask

When honestly, I'm tired of being here
Rolling with the motions every other new year
No one to be concerned even when they've learned just how bad for peace my mind yearns.

I need more loving and less judgement
Got a little love left in me; could use more of it

This season I'm a little overwhelmed by this inner grieving...
Trying to stay a float; so this poem I wrote...
To give myself something to believe in <333

Don't change yourself for anyone
for if one day you wake & they are not there
the weight of you waiting
might be too much to bare

Stop saying you know who you are
Have you forgotten the beauty in the unknown
Stop keeping track unless you're going back
to that which you've outgrown

I still walk that trail you showed me
I call your name over the waters waves
I breathe more deeply, more freely
& allow the memories to return that time tries to make go away

When I said you were irreplaceable darling
it was one of the few times I told the brave truth
The rest of my honesty, was honestly
forcefully given to you

I hope you've learned to stop stomping on flowers
& take the advice of the wind
all things start
in the same place that they end

Forever Advice from Forever a Friend xoxo

Who cares if I want to be
I know I need to be
A Millionaire...
because life's never been fair
and boy do I care

Who cares if I want to be
I know I need to be
able to assist with fees
for kids who will graduate
first generation
college students & entrepreneurs in preparation

Who cares if you don't think I will
I pray it's in Gods will
let my divine energy be revealed
so that I may prosper to propel others up the hill
hard to climb and heal

I ran to the edge of Heaven today
Leaped from my bed and almost fell down a cliff
In a balled fist
I had a list
Your name was at the top of it
"Unfinished Business"
God says I have to keep living until you agree to die together
Isn't that why Marriage says Until Death do Us Part?
Yet you keep parting ways with me in the living
& No kidding besides my Fathers Death
You are the only memory that chokes me up
Like walking into a funeral late
Everyone there has already grieved
So you swallow, hard and quietly
The tears don't roll down your face
They bravely brace the fire escapes we call cheekbones
They know
That burning passion will create smoke in your eyes
Smoke in the eyes always creates water
Water helps things grow
& your heart has been dry for far too long

So today I took the last Birthday Card I ever sent you
Folded the sides of it down
Turned the corners of it upward

Got a running start from Earth
Launched it to the ******* the cliff in Heaven
She keeps reaching for me
Speaking to me
I need her to see

The Earth bound boy that makes Heaven worth the wait

The clouds in his hair
The wind in his laugh
Cools me in summer
Challenges me in winter
& scares me during my storms

He is all I've ever been
I know him
I owe him; a glimpse in the mirror
A ring around a rosie
A 1, 2 , 3 not it
A Happily EVer After
A you can do it Baby
AN I forgive you
Please forgive me
For laughing my real laugh
I know the snorting tickles you
I know you hate to be tickled

The plane never quite makes it to the cliff
Although intrigued by my love
She never quite gets the jist of it
& this stupid list
of Unfinished Business
Keeps auto correcting in your name...

Take two steps back
In a forward motion

How does it feel?

Spin yourself without pivoting
Close your eyes when the wind becomes too much

Breathe in your nose
Out your mouth

Kiss on the exhale

Of course TruLove never fades
of course its okay to feel things worth filling

Love lives in honest hearts forever
Warnings are lies that lead us into fear not away from danger

When is a good time to call 911?

When its just enough time to save something
When it's too late to save anything

Just call...Someone's going to answer