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1.8k · Oct 2018
I Don't Love Myself.
Unknown Oct 2018
I have finally come to the conclusion,
that I do not love myself.
that I don't love the way i smile,
or talk,
or laugh.

I hate that I am quite,
that I'm introverted and
would rather prefer to spend my days alone,
rather than surrounded by people.

I'm trying to improve how I view myself,
however, how do you change your perspective
when you have been living it for years?
to those that dont love themselves. this has been my biggest struggle this year.
939 · Mar 2019
Floating
Unknown Mar 2019
I feel as though I'm floating through life.
That I have no purpose,
No sense of direction or belonging.
That I don't do anything with my life.
That I'm simply just floating through the wave of life,
and will be swept away into sea.
to those who feel lost in life.
926 · Jan 2019
I've Forgotten Your Face.
Unknown Jan 2019
I've forgotten your face.
I've forgotten your face.

How have I forgotten the face of someone I loved dearly?

I have these memories of you but cannot picture what you look like,
or what you sound
or smell like.

Grief is a funny thing and has made me forget the person you were.

God, why can I not remember your face?
Grief and suppressing people's death has caused me to forget them.
637 · Oct 2018
Lost.
Unknown Oct 2018
recently i have been feeling lost,
as if i dont belong anywhere,
that i dont have a home,
or a family,
or friends.

with this, i feel lonely that even when
i look up at the stars that once bought me comfort and joy,
now bring my misery and sorrow.

it feels as though i have a void in my chest,
that pains at the thought of the life i am living
and i just want to be left alone.
no one around,
just me
and
the sound of rain beating against my window.
something i have been feeling for quite some time.
576 · Jun 2019
alone
Unknown Jun 2019
recently I've been wanting to be left alone,
away from everyone,
away from everyone's stares,
their questioning looks,
their fake smiles and
fake conversations.

I just want to be left alone,
with no worries or anxiety,
with the sound of soft music playing through my phone
and the sound of rain beating against my window,
while I try to feel content with myself.
569 · Jun 2017
Father, Father, Father.
Unknown Jun 2017
Oh father, father, father.
Where have you gone?
What have you done?
There is a ghost that beginning to look a little like you.
Lets raise a toast, father.
To the man that is never home,
To the man who does not love,
To the man who never has a plan.

Oh, father, father, father.
Look at what you have done.
Your children have stopped caring.
Your wife has given up.
Who do you have left?
You live here, but you may as well not.
You make these promises and stab us in the back.


I love you, daddy.
Can't you see?
You've ruined me.
You've ruined my siblings.
You've ruined my mother.


Remember? Always and forever?
I think it is time to let go,
and say our goodbyes.
to the kids you feel as though their fathers do not love them, to the ones whose fathers are never home, to the ones who don't see their father as a parent figure - but simply a stranger.
555 · Oct 2021
safe travels.
Unknown Oct 2021
god recognised that you were in too much pain,
he knew that you have suffered enough,
have bared too much pain in your life,
and knew that it was finally time for you to come home.

safe travels on your journey above.
we all miss you dearly below.
keep a seat warm for me.
I love you.
to those that have lost someone close to them.
this is dedicated to my grandpa who recently passed away.
stay safe y’all x
550 · Apr 2018
No One Bothers.
Unknown Apr 2018
no one bothers to ask if you are okay,
if you are feeling sad.
no, they just say
"why are you always sad?"
or
"stop being so sad all the time, you're making me feel down!"
they say with a snicker.
no one bothers to care why I am sad,
they just look at me with disgust and walk away
even my own friends
even my own family.
no one bothers to help when I am reaching out for a hand,
when my demons are drowning me.

n o
o n e
b o t h e r s

to help a broken soul.
to those who feel as though no one cares about their emotions. to those who simply need a helping hand.
508 · Apr 2020
hating myself
Unknown Apr 2020
I have been conditioned by toxic people previously in my life,
that I was not good enough because of my quiet nature,
because I would rather keep to myself than be in the limelight,
because I am introverted,
because I am not like other girls who 'crave attention' - but rather the opposite.

They made me believe no one would ever like or even date me,
that no one will ever love me because of my 'different and unusual personality'

They broke me,
ruined me.

But they will never know, as they go on to live their lives and leave me in the mud - as I live on hating myself.
to those who have been in a very toxic friendship / environment that made you question your self worth.
447 · Aug 2021
any day now.
Unknown Aug 2021
any day now it will be my time,
my time to shine,
to live,
to be happy,
to laugh,
to be happy to be alive.

any day now it will be my time.
a day where I can finally wake up content,
with my anxiety at bay.

any day now.

any day now.

it will stop any day now,

right?
428 · Jun 2017
What Then?
Unknown Jun 2017
I feel like I am drowning,
Every single day.
I hate my own being,
I hate my own family.
What even is family?
Family is your own blood,
A little bit of yourself in every person,
A tight knit group of people who are your heaven.
Although, what happens if that isn’t the case?
What happens if you wish they weren’t your blood,
What happens if you wish you did not share the same
Personality and gestures as them?
What happens if your family is not a tight knit group of people and
They are not your heaven, but simply your hell?

What then?
423 · Sep 2017
The Gem To Our Lives.
Unknown Sep 2017
your ghost still lurks and i swear i can still feel you.
im in pain, i dont know what to do. i swear im going insane.
i hear your laughter, footsteps and presence but youre nowhere to be seen.
nothing has been the same since youve been gone.
dads gone mental,
mum isnt gentle, shes turned judgemental,
brother has lost the humour and is the consumer of loneliness,
sister lost the fierceness within her, while trying to forget the mayhem that happened when you left this earth.
you were the gem in our lives and we were oblivious to that, but now that youre up in the sky chillin' with God - we miss you more than ever.
you were never the villain in our lives, but its hard living without you here.
i dont need no pity, just these written words make me understand that youre gone.
we've drawn the line, we've come to the conclusion.
i just want you to know that,
you were the gem to our lives.
this is dedicated to my grandpa and my dog. they both unfortunately passed away and they both played a huge role in my life.
i love and miss you both.
415 · Jul 2018
The 'Quiet Girl'
Unknown Jul 2018
I will forever and always be known as the 'quiet girl',
the one that does not talk,
is too quiet for her own good,
and is considered weird.

"why don't you talk?" they ask,
"you're so emotionless, talk more."
"smile more."

your words hurt me, over and over again.
why will no one accept me for the way I am?
your very own words make me hate myself.

hate how quiet I am,
hate how I enjoy being in my own thoughts,
hate who I am as a person.

even when I try to talk more, you knock me down with your -
"wow, she's actually talking."
because being 'quiet' isn't cute nor hot to others.

I will forever and always be known as the "quiet girl"
and I  f e a r  that I will always hate myself for being quiet.
for those who feel as though they are judged by their quietness, for those who feel like no one understands and accepts the way they are.

side note: this is a huge problem I have been dealing with this year and I encourage you to use your words nicely and maybe approach someone if they look lonely. it makes us feel like someone actuallycares about us.
414 · May 2018
Losing Hope.
Unknown May 2018
i have offically given up
on hope

and that,
everything will be okay.

because i have been praying for too many years now,
and i have yet to see results.

when will my time come when i will finally be happy?
With myself, my family and life.
to those who have been hoping and praying for too long and nothing has changed.
398 · May 2018
Imagine Anxiety.
Unknown May 2018
anxiety isnt cute,
****,
attractive
or
relatable.

its a mental disorder to which people suffer
from every single day of their lives.

anxiety is horrifying,
scary,
unpredictable
and
fearful.

If you want to have anxiety because it is 'cool' - then imagine the feeling of drowning, feeling as though your lungs are filled with water and have collapsed and you are trying with every bone in your body to breath, but you cant. Now imagine your mind going into a frenzy. Panicking, screaming to calm down but you can't because your mind has fallen into flight or fight and you are stuck. Stuck in your own mind. Your body trembling, your hands shaking and you begin to feel light headed as your brain is not getting enough oxygen.

Now imagine, having to experience that same feeling. Every. Single. Day. Over a huge sitaution that may seem small to others, or sometimes - over nothing.

Now does this seem 'cool' or 'attractive' to you?

After hearing all of this, would you like to have anxiety too?
thought the need to educate some people on their use of anxiety.
397 · Jun 2021
loneliness
Unknown Jun 2021
I’m.. alone.
Completely and utterly alone.

The loneliness drowns within my veins and lungs, constantly reminding me of how alone I am.

I just want this feeling to go away.
388 · Nov 2017
Welcome, Anxiety.
Unknown Nov 2017
Welcome, Anxiety.
you come in uninvited and make me feel ignited
with the thought of terror, i think there may be an error.
Anxiety! Anxiety! are you sure you entered the right home?
i push you out the dome, yet you still find your way in.
please leave me alone, Anxiety.
i feel like im going insane, its putting me in pain.
my eyes close and i feel you leave my home.
"ill be back tomorrow," you said. "sleep tight, little one."
i weep as i await your visit and now i dread,
every single day
of my life.
to the people who suffer from anxiety every day of their lives.
387 · Jun 2019
Loneliness
Unknown Jun 2019
feeling lonely is dangerous.
it causes the human mind to think irrationally,
to think that an individual is alone,
when in reality there not.

there's always a constant heartache to feeling lonely,
like there's a void in your chest
and there's pain when you think of your lackluster life.

I've learned to become accustomed to this new lifestyle,
while I stay alone,
feeling as though my chest will burst open,
thinking about my lonely life.
I've been feeling extremely lonely recently and have no idea how to get rid off this ugly feeling
375 · Mar 2019
16 Years Old
Unknown Mar 2019
16 Years Old, yet I feel as though I've done nothing with my life.
16 Years Old, yet I've never been invited to a house party.
16 Years Old, yet I've never had my first kiss or first drink.

16 Years Old and I feel like I'm not living life,
that I'm not truly being a teenager
and making life long memories.
373 · Nov 2018
misunderstood.
Unknown Nov 2018
I am simply misunderstood.  
People assume I'm weird because I'm quiet,
That I'm a freak because I prefer to keep to myself than beg for attention.

What they don't understand is that I don't trust others easily, which means I avoid every human possible.

What they don't understand is that I have anxiety and it is so difficult to talk to new people.

But like every new person that enters my life, they assume and I am once again left misunderstood.
this year has been very hard for me, for many reasons. However, this is probably the biggest one for me.
360 · Jan 2019
Death.
Unknown Jan 2019
Death,
has made me realise,
that one of the worst feelings
in the world
is seeing someone you love
pass away
and in that moment realising
how much little time you spent
with them.
I have a really bad guilty conscious that I never spent enough time with my loved ones before they died.
338 · Jun 2020
kindness is not weakness.
Unknown Jun 2020
all my life I have had my kindness been taken advantaged of,
through friends,
classmates
and strangers.

for the longest time I saw this as a sign of weakness,
that people would forever walk over me because of my kindness,

but it is not a sign of weakness,
it is a sign of loyalty,
bravery,
compassion
and so much more.

kindness is not a weakness,
only those who use you for your kindness are simply too weak to find solace within their own hearts.
to those whose kindness is always taken advantage of, you are not weak - you are very much appreciated.
294 · Sep 2018
i now truly know
Unknown Sep 2018
I now truly know what it means to see everything in your life falling apart, and not being able to do anything about it.

I now truly know how it feels to see your mother break down in front of you, grieving about the happy life she once lived.

I now truly know what it looks like to see your father lose himself to his depression.

I now truly know that life has it's own course and it is inevitable that my family will find happiness.

I now truly know.
everything thing in my life is falling apart and i have no control over it.
287 · Oct 2018
"you don't love me."
Unknown Oct 2018
today, my father claimed that my family does not love him.
that he is alone in this life,
that no one stands besides him through his struggles.

i try to convince myself that it is just his depression talking,
i try to convince myself that he would never think that,
however - how much more can i convince myself, when my own father has said he may aswell leave this earth because no one loves him?

pain, pain and more pain.
how much longer can this go for?
we give him all this love and attention, yet it does nothing.
im at my witsend.
god, someone help me!
this is one of my more darker and vulnerable poems - im truly at the end of the line and i dont know what else to do but express how i feel through these ****** poems.
280 · Sep 2017
Sending A Prayer.
Unknown Sep 2017
i see your tears,
i hear your screams,
i see your pulling at the seams.
you keep pushing people away and we want to help.
although, how do you help someone that does not want to be saved?
people love for you, people care for you
we'll send you a prayer,
but you'll send us a glare.
to a boy that i know that is suicidal and depressed. this is for you. you are loved.
278 · May 2020
see you soon.
Unknown May 2020
I’m sorry you were taken too early from this world,
safe travels on your journey home,
in peace may you find the next,
I will see you soon.
to those who have lost someone close to them.
Unknown Jan 2020
is there something wrong with me?

sometimes I wonder if the reason I have few friends,
is because something is wrong with me.

that people may not like the way
I speak,
or look,
what my interests are
or may just find me annoying.

this feeling causes me to feel as though I am unlikable,
which causes me to feel lonely in this big world we live in.

is there something wrong with me?
why do so many other people have lots of friends?
why am I so unapproachable?
why have I been gifted with the jinx of never having long lasting friends?

is there something wrong with me?
this is something I have been struggling with lots recently. This is for those that look around a huge room and truly realise how lonely they are.
258 · Jun 2017
_Unknown Error_
Unknown Jun 2017
You are my dreams,
You are my nightmares.
You are my sunny days at the beach,
you are my lightning storms that make me screech.
I fear you, then I love you.

Oh God, what do I do?
230 · Feb 2020
rut
Unknown Feb 2020
rut
im stuck in a rut of the old person I used to be,
the one who did not want to get out of bed
and face the world,
the one who would rather isolate themselves
rather than be surrounded by my loved ones,
the one who had no energy to do work,
that would just simply lay in bed all day and
stare at the wall.

im stuck in a rut of the old person I used to be,
and im scared.
to those who feel like they're going back to their old depression tendencies
220 · Apr 2020
friends
Unknown Apr 2020
I have drawn the unlucky card within life of having friends,
I always befriend people who use me,
break me,
manipulate me,
use my kindness against me
and walk all over me.

This card has served me great moments of loneliness, depression and suicidal thoughts and along with this card, it has made me feel worthless, ugly and alienated.

Friends, have never been by my side in life.
Friends, always end up leaving me in my life.
Friends, constantly abuse me emotionally and made me question myself.

Although the question is, who are you without your friends?
ive always found it difficult to find genuine friends within my life and the moment I do find friends that actually do care for me, I push them away bc im scared they'll turn into the people who made me hate myself and my life.
214 · Nov 2017
Falling.
Unknown Nov 2017
i fear of falling,
falling for the wrong person
that may end up shattering my heart.

although,

every time i look at you
i think
maybe falling wont be such a bad thing,
after all.
142 · Apr 2020
trust issues
Unknown Apr 2020
I'm sorry that I constantly push you away, without an explanation at all,
I'm trying my best, but my trauma convinces me that you may hurt me.

My issues make me feel lonely, even when there are days when I am not.
I secretly crave attention and love, but will never admit to it because of my trust issues.

So instead, I make myself content within my loneliness and
       made the rain beating against my window on a winters night,
                                        my only friend.
to those who push everyone they love away bc they feel as tho they don't deserve to be loved or are worried to be hurt again and are haunted by your past relationships.
138 · Jan 2020
forgive and forget
Unknown Jan 2020
it is time I try to forgive and forget.

I must forgive that all the pain you caused our family,
and forget all the traumatic events that have forever scarred me.

I must forgive you for the fact that you were battling a mental illness,
and forget the tears I shed at night fearing for your own life and what you may do to yourself.

I must forgive you for the days and nights you left me stranded,
and forget the guilt you caused me to feel when I saw you soon after.

It's become too difficult to forgive and forget all the agony you caused, but for my own wellbeing

I must let you go.
this is to those you have been struggling with moving on from traumatic events in your life caused by your family members, and still having to see them everyday/every so often.
126 · Apr 2021
im tired
Unknown Apr 2021
im tired
i just want to lay in bed all day and do nothing
where no one bothers me
where no one can hurt me
where i am at peace,
and where i can listen to the rain
as i slowly waste my life away
117 · Aug 2021
desperate + lonely
Unknown Aug 2021
i will never to admit to anyone how my loneliness has bred desperation within me,

desperate to be in love,
desperate to be held,
desperate to be someone's first choice,
desperate to be someone's whole world.

i cannot even bare to look at couples nor friends
where they are laughing and holding one another,
as this forever growing envy and jealously runs through me veins,
constantly reminding me of my loneliness.

desperate, so ******* desperate to be loved.
lonely loneliness desperate desperation depression anxiety fml sad envy jealous help

— The End —