having dreams in your mind
leave you with daggers in your heart

we could all be a teacher
we’re all wise about something
taught lessons we didn’t ask for
as we make our way through life
and we can teach people going through
similar things
what we learned from those lessons
we’re all just naive students and teachers
in this school called life
that have learned so much
and have so much to tell about
yet have so much to learn

how come when i have a thought so powerful and it makes me feel happy
i can’t hold on to it
but when i have a thought so devastating and it makes me sad
it stays in my mind all the **** time

it’s possible to know what someone’s going through
but impossible to know
their exact feelings and emotions

you’ll never know
probably ever
the impact you have on a strangers life
by simply being kind
you may keep them alive
so even on your worst days
be a nice person
because even if you want to die
you may save someone’s life

here i am rising
up the chain lift
and for a split second
i’m on top of the world
i can see everything clearly
and as soon as it began
i come crashing down
so fast
it could give me whiplash
everything moving in a blur
and the feeling makes me ill
so i’m stuck riding
this endless rollercoaster
and you’d think i’d be used to it
by now
but hey
at least i’m living

when we were kids
we always dreamed of being old
being vets or police or doctors
and being free
from the terrible place called school
but what we didn’t know
was how hard it would be
we didn’t know
you had to work just to find a living
we didn’t know
just how free we were

dear reader,
if you’re going through a breakup
in an unhealthy situation
or it’s just complicated
this is for you:
if they don’t make time for you, don’t make time for them.
don’t sacrifice your heart to someone that wouldn’t do the same for you.
if they’re not treating you right, find a way to love and respect yourself enough
to get the heck out of there.
if they say they will change and they don’t change after 3 or 4 times, don’t let your heart get broken anymore.
learn to know when to let go, and if you don’t love yourself, you sure as hell cant love anyone else.

can i get a refund on life please
this **** was sweeter when i was younger

do any of us actually know what we’re doing
or are we all bullshitting our way through life
young adults want to live while they’re young
but are pressured to figure their whole life out while they still have time

the end goal is happiness
we all just have different ways of getting there

thank god i can’t write good poetry
the best poetry comes from pain and hurt if you ask me
so although i can’t write like i used to
at least it means i’m doing alright

i don’t know who i’m trying to be
but i refuse to be anything less than extraordinary

it can be so incredibly amazing
yet so incredibly isolating
to realize you’re one of a kind
and no one will understand your mind

how come i want to do so many things
yet i can’t even bring myself to get out of bed
how come i have so many thoughts
yet none of them leave my head
how come i’m the only version of myself
yet there’s always someone i’d rather be
why can’t i be enough for me

i’ve realized why you still leave me so speechless
it’s because my vocabulary has never found anything so deserving of such amazing words

i’m tired of telling people to have a good day
i just want to help them have a good day

sometimes it’s too hard to think, maybe that’s why people drink

i envy those who do not feel so hard
or think too deeply
because **** this **** is exhausting
trying to find the perfect words
or trying to find the reason for everything

i always have so many thoughts, yet i can never find the right words to say

i’m a shooting star
i’ll burn so brightly
so much it hurts myself
in the end
i’ll burn out
but i’ll do it if it means
someone else could be happy
even if it’s for a second
i’ll do it if it means
someone could make a wish
come true

i rarely use the word happy anymore
because i’ve realized what a temporary
thing it is
it’s funny i think i’ve use it in the past
to make others happy
i’m sorry that i can’t be happy
for you
because i can’t be happy
for myself
so used to this low dark feeling
that feeling good is unsettling
if a tree falls in the woods alone
with no one to hear it
does it still make a sound?

it’s summer
so why do i feel so cold

seems like the more interesting the major you’re interested in is, the less jobs there is for it

there’s nothing more frustrating than wanting to explain what’s on your mind, but not having the vocabulary to word your thoughts

i think what’s wrong with
society and laws
is we’re trained when driving
that yellow lines
are the only things
that separate
safety
and a fatality
what’s holding someone back
from causing a homicide

i hope karma gets you
in the worst way
and the most surprising way
imaginable
i hope it bites you in your *****
and puts you through hell
i hope you learn
that life isn’t as easy
in this small town bubble
the only place we’ve known
i hope you learn
that diving straight in the deep end
will have consequences
i guess karma
will be waiting
with snarling teeth

never
ever
let someone make you feel bad
or upset
over a choice that makes you happy
and feel free

“money can’t buy you happiness” sure, but it can pay bills that keep you afloat for a month

i hate feeling this way
but at least i’m still feeling something

why are the only fun things in life bad for you or illegal

sad to know that i could compliment you a thousand times, yet it takes one negative comment to wash that all away

working in retail isn’t as bad as it seems
it’s just certain people
act a certain way
and make it so difficult
but the people are the ones
that control how your day goes
but you can’t even control
how their day goes
besides one single interaction

stuff inside my head
only makes sense to me
so that's why it stays in there
that's why i daydream

stuff in the "real world"
doesn't make sense to me
so that's why it stays out there
that's why i daydream

instead of asking
"what do i want to give to the world?"
i find myself asking
"what does the world want from me?"

it is the saddest feeling, when others believe in you more than you believe in you, when others are more disappointed in your failures than you are

i'm too busy drowning
in the waves
of the sea
to realize
that my feet
aren't even wet

"words can't say what love can do" - bon jovi

perhaps this is why
i can never find
the words to
describe you

i believe that music
can speak millions of words
when your own mind
fails to come up with any

it's been 9 months, love
a rollercoaster of emotions
but i wouldn't have it
any other way

i never thought i'd find someone
in this same old town
i love growing with you
i get to know you more and more

follow your heart when you’ve lost your mind. maybe you’ll stumble across it down the line.

at first it was your appearance
that i was attracted to
because i didn’t know much else
about you
then at the fair
finally got to know you
you were so shy
and i don’t think you knew
i wanted to make you mine
as months go by
and i fall more for you
i realize you’re so much more
than that quiet girl under that bridge
that i wanted to make laugh
just to see her smile
no-
i’ve fallen for the time we share
the memories we’ve made
and the girl
i never thought
was ever gay

i’m not who i was
anymore
and i don’t know who
im meant to be
but what i do know
is that i never cried in her
arms before
so when i say you’re important
to me
i really mean
there are so many words for you
i don’t know how to say
it’s been almost 9 months
and you still leave me speechless
mostly because
i’ve never felt love like this
baby i don’t deserve this
but you are the reason
i don’t feel worthless

everyone in my head
is so judgmental
no they're not voices
they're conversations
i've made up
and haven't even happened
yet

i just wish
that one day
i'll be able to walk this earth
and not constantly
compare myself
to other people
and not be trapped
and held captive
by my own
mind

it is impossible to be lonely
when we're all feeling the same thing

there’s nothing quite like
a long open winding road
that forces you to think
more than you have ever thought
in the past 3 months

i believe it is wrong to say "it's not about how you get there, its about the end result" because when you finally make it to where you want to be will you be proud of what you have done, when there's no where to go, not even back.

you look upon the future
with fear and dread
because of what you already know
or at least what you think you know
is going to occur
whereas i look upon the future
with hope and careful consideration
because what you fear
is not set in stone
and the future
is not yet determined
and to me
so distant

how could i possibly be lonely
laying in bed at night
when the sound of silence
ringing in my ears
keeps me company
and the thoughts
are so loud
that i can hear them
as though
they're whispering
in my ear

you told me not everyone is mentally ill
and i stopped to think
i couldn't imagine what that feels like
do they wake up smiling
or is it just a facade
can they hold a conversation
without spacing out
do day to day tasks
without getting overwhelmed
it's just really hard to imagine
but then again
i don't even understand
my own mind

everything will be okay
a reassuring phrase
used by
people
that don't possibly know
the outcome
or
the future