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shatteredpoet Apr 2019
i checked
under the bed
under the cushions
under the rug
under the vase i
gave you last christmas
i checked under
the nightstand
and even in the very
sheets we share
but i have yet to
find love
in this very place
we call
h o m e
shatteredpoet Jan 2019
i reached for your hand
and suddenly i was
lost
in the stars with
you
shatteredpoet May 2019
one shot won't
fill it but maybe five or six
one pill won't do it
but maybe eight or nine
one night didn't fix it
but maybe twelve

the space is growing bigger
with each person that leaves
perhaps i'll double the dose
to double my chance
at being w h o l e
again

six shots didn't work
so maybe ten or twelve
nine pills didn't do it
so maybe sixteen or seventeen
twelve nights didn't fix it
so maybe thirty
there's a hole in my chest
and it's no coincidence
it's the same size
as the space my father
used to take up
shatteredpoet Jan 2019
i've changed every lock on my home to keep you from
shattering everything i've built
so please do not come knocking
because it will take everything
i have inside
not to open the door and let you in.
shatteredpoet Jan 2019
i wasn't looking for
a woman with golden
wings,
just a woman that had
enough
passion to make her
soar

•|||°
shatteredpoet Mar 2019
though she is called
beautiful
for the way her body
curves, and how her
eyes pair with her smile,
it is her soul
i find most
exquisite

•|||°
shatteredpoet Apr 2019
i was your bird
that refused to
leave its cage
i was your bird
that refused to
fly away
even with the
door wide open.
i stayed with you after every opportunity to leave you
shatteredpoet Apr 2019
if i am the artist
you are a collage
of all the things
i love the most
shatteredpoet Apr 2019
once upon a time
the universe ached for you
it longed for your soul to be formed
so in response
the oceans and stars collided

and when the waves settled
and the stars aligned
you were created
molded from the salt of the seas
and the stardust from the sky
~remember, you have the strength of the ocean
and the power of the stars within you.
shatteredpoet Jan 2019
i do not play the part
of a princess or a
damsel
i am
the dragon.
the soldier.
the knight.
shatteredpoet Mar 2020
take me to the depths of your soul,
do not leave me here restless
on the surface of the earth,
i ask for you to exist within the
beauty i so strongly desire,
and allow me to travel to a
place that intertwines us,
from this, a crater of love
shall inevitably form in the rubble,
so in the wild fight for existence,
we create something that endures
outliving the age of our souls
shatteredpoet Apr 2019
we are electric charges
pushing and pulling
back and forth
back and forth
back and forth
traveling through
the endless current
of love and hate
we are two charges, trying to meet in this swirl of energy.
shatteredpoet May 2019
i hope i make you
feel the same way
as when you're exploring
an abandoned building at night.
i want you
to feel nervous and
exhilarated all
at once.
shatteredpoet Jan 2019
religion       was born
pure and    innocent
much           like us
and              now
it's as           sick and
***               ided
as                 we are
shatteredpoet Apr 2019
i wish to give
you everything
without waiting
to receive something
more
her
shatteredpoet Mar 2019
her
she didn't need
a telescope to see
all the beauty in
the universe
she always had a way of seeing the world differently from everyone else...
shatteredpoet Jan 2019
you took more than i offered
you took more than i
you took more than
you took more
you took
you
shatteredpoet Jan 2019
every part of me
convinced my heart that
i loved you
but in the end i only wanted to be in control;
i wanted to grip your hand so tight
you couldn't slip through my fingers
and i know that's selfish of me to say
but i don't want you to think
i actually loved you

because when i love,
i break; every promise, every foundation, every piece of your soul
until a broke heart and hazy eyes
are all that's left of you because
i don't know how to
love
without
destroying
shatteredpoet Mar 2019
the words
i love you
become trapped behind
my teeth,
it's a phrase so heavy
like the words
i miss you
and sometimes
in the break
before you speak,
i wonder if you're fighting
to get the same words out
as i am

it's become a swallowed
confession,
of an obvious truth
rather than a secret
because it seems so
clear that my world
levels with yours
but i can't explain how
touching your skin
feels like you are the
key because
i was a locked door
until i met
you
~words 90 of 23,487 i keep
clenched between my teeth
shatteredpoet Jan 2019
with you,
every "i love you"
was followed by an
exception as to why
you can't
shatteredpoet Jan 2019
there's a certain
irony
for being unable to
put the love
for words
into a form of
ink and language
shatteredpoet Jan 2019
i listened
to the sweet melody
you created
by the sweep of your fingers
curving those delicate fingers
making your skin tingle
and rattle.
kissing each note
with a soft greeting
but a hard farewell.
unveiling your soul
and all your intracies
shatteredpoet Jun 2019
my mind is a maze
and i no longer
wish to find the
exit
shatteredpoet Jan 2019
i've been told i have
irrational fears of
drowning;
heights;
and burning alive;
but there's been one
situation where
i have fearlessly
faced each one
of these fears

i submerged myself
in your waves
fell for you and trusted
you would catch me
before i hit the pavement
and
i let the flames from your
fingertips touch my skin,
trusting you will not let
me go up in flames
so maybe love is the
only conqueror of these
fears
or maybe it's just
y o u
shatteredpoet Jan 2019
maybe i jumped
too soon

~but you said you would
c
   a
     t
       c
         h
        
             m
                 e.

•|||°
shatteredpoet Jan 2019
i wanted to fill the
darkness in your head
with stars cut from
every wish i made
about you
shatteredpoet Jan 2019
i hope one day you
find a place
that doesn't leave you
feeling
homesick.

•|||°
shatteredpoet Jan 2019
i hate writing about
the things you did to me
because as i'm sitting here
bleeding out from
the wounds you plastered
on my skin
treating my body as if it was
your personal
practice canvas,
you are going about
your life as if you
didn't permanently
make my mind so
******* fragile

so i refuse to
bleed your name
through each and every
one of these pages
i refuse to let you
think after all these
years you still have
power over me
shatteredpoet Feb 2019
in your toughest
hours,
may the universe
kiss you with
warm coffee and
vanilla scented
candles
while the chaos
brews
outside your window.

•|||°
shatteredpoet Mar 2019
i'd rather lose you
knowing i loved
you wholeheartedly
than have loved you
with one foot out the
door
•|||°

i can't guard my heart forever..
shatteredpoet Jan 2019
i've grown tired
of living
in a world
full of noise
shatteredpoet Jan 2019
that was the story of us.
no happy ending
no filled promises
in fact,
none of it was anything
like a fairytale book
because you didn't get
a happily ever after
instead
it was an ending that
was inevitably tragic.
shatteredpoet Jan 2019
the stars weren't
the only celestial
bodies
that aligned.

our souls did too

•|||°
shatteredpoet Jan 2019
sometimes i wish
you had stayed
but the possibility
of what would have
become of me
is far worse than
going through the pain
of losing you
•|||°
shatteredpoet Jan 2019
if my soul is
the ballroom,
then harmony and poetry
are [the lovers]
that danced
[past midnight]
shatteredpoet Jan 2019
my walls are not built
for the same reasons
as yours.
they were built to protect
myself from my own head

•|||°
shatteredpoet May 2019
i never intended
to take apart
all the pieces
you glued back
together
shatteredpoet Jan 2019
if you're lucky enough
she will show you
the library she has for a brain
she'll show you the books
about the ones
who never took the time
to read her front to back
start to finish
she'll show you
the books she reads
over and over again
the ones she can never put down
and those she's too afraid to read again
and perhaps
she'll even let you
read the book
that's got a lock and key
sitting in the back
of her mind
collecting dust

•|||°
shatteredpoet May 2019
you were never a universe
you didn't hold planets or galaxies
or stars within you.
instead, you were full of passion and wonder.
instead, you had warm hands and a smile that made my heart race.
instead, you were simply you.
shatteredpoet Apr 2019
if our love is a ship
then we are two lovers
lost at sea
bound to sink
in our own demise
shatteredpoet Mar 2019
i am not here
to love someone
like you.
i am here to love
y o u .
in the world behind my eyes, there is no one remotely close to being you.
shatteredpoet Apr 2019
sometimes it truly feels as if all the emotional pain inside you, is trying to claw its way out; all the while of eating away at your skin and bones and poking holes in your heart. it'll drive you mad. it'll weigh you down. it'll feel impossible to heal. it'll make you think you need to feel external pain in order to relieve it, but don't let it trick you into doing that. everything you could ever need to fight against the pain and heartache resides in your soul. it's your core. it's what holds your body, your mind, and your heart together. it holds your passions and interests and preferences. you are you for a reason. think of everyone's different passions and such, as their personal weapons. almost as if the universe knew exactly what each person needed to fight against all the evils and heartache. your soul is your toolbox. your weapon forging lab. you have your heart that keeps you alive. you have your mind that processes words and reason. you have your body that holds those elements. but most importantly, you have your soul holding your emotions and your moral compass. never forget that.
this is not a poem. this is a letter to all of you. // emotional pain is never easy, no one should ever have to go through such extreme amounts of it that they feel as if the only way to relieve it-- to heal from it, is to feel physical pain. // i see you. i notice you. you are not invisible and you are certainly not alone. each one of you are strung intricately beautiful. each one of you are packed with the necessities you need to fight against the things that are causing you pain. everything you need, resides in your soul. remember that.
shatteredpoet Jan 2019
perhaps the best way
to understand
ourselves,
is to understand
nature
and all that surrounds us.
shatteredpoet Jan 2019
she spoke
as if there
were colors
running through
every word.


i spoke
as if i had
a blade for
a tongue.

•|||°
shatteredpoet Apr 2020
the stars told me a story about you
they said you were to have a heart
made to fill every space with love
they wrote about the way you
were meant to exist
the way you were meant to have depth
and meaning
but i met you and suddenly i saw
that the stars got it all wrong
because maybe you were never
made from stardust
~ you do not match the constellation
you were suppose to be made of
shatteredpoet Jan 2019
they glued labels
on my body
that won't come off
without removing pieces of myself
too
and it hurts
almost as much
as watching them
bend and twist
and break your
body
to fit you inside
a box your heart
has outgrown
shatteredpoet Jan 2019
this is me
handing you the key
to the closet i've
stored all my
skeletons.
this is me
handing you the keys
to my
safe haven.

•|||°
shatteredpoet Jan 2019
this is the three seconds
before the floor breakd
and i'm pulled into the hurricane
of every thought inside my head

my head and my heart is at
war before i can call your name
but i think that
maybe this is ok
because now i have a 200 page poetry book
with your name written on every page
and the story of us written in ink
but i'm bleeding because the paper
cut into my skin a little too deep
and the words tore into my heart

i was too late to love you and
admit to you that you were the one
thing i have yet to give up on
but now my heart is only bleeding
on the edges of the words
"i don't love you"

now the three seconds are up
and suddenly i'm thrown into the hurrican my mind has created
in hopes to win against
the force of my heart
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