nais kong simulan ang aking tula sa isang katanungan,
"bakit mo ako iniwan?"
dahil ba sa ugali kong hindi maintindihan?
dahil ba sa itsura kong hindi kagandahan?

bakit mo ako binitiwan?
bakit mas pinili mo ang lumisan?
bakit mga pangako mo'y iyong kinalimutan?
bakit ka lumihis ng daan?

mahal, sana'y sagutin mo't huwag kang magalit,
kung marami akong tanong sayo na bakit,
hindi ko parin kasi talaga matanggap yung sakit,
sagutin mo naman, baka sakaling tumamis ang mapait.

hindi kita matanggal sa puso't isip ko,
at dahil sa takot ko na baka maulit ang pag-alis mo,
ipinagkatiwala ko ang puso ko sa ibang tao,
kaysa ang maniwala muli sa mga salita mo.

sa bawat paggalaw ng kamay ng orasan,
sa bawat pag-ihip ng hanging amihan,
sa bawat pagsilip ni haring araw,
tila puso ko'y nanatiling naliligaw.

paulit-ulit sa aking isipan,
tama ba ang aking napagdesisyunan?
kasiyahan sa iba ay dapat bang subukan?
nagbakasali na hindi ko ito pagsisihan.

sumubok ako, nagtiwala sa mga salitang naghatid ng panandalian ligaya,
nagpadala ako sa mga pangakong "ikaw lang at wala ng iba",
pero nagkamali ako, pare-pareho lang pala kayo,
sa una lang kayo pursigido.

mahal, nais kong alalahanin mo,
lingid sa kaalaman mo na makakalimutin ako,
pero inaamin ko, ni minsan hindi ka nawala sa isip ko,
oo mali 'to, pero masisisi mo ba ako?

bakit ramdam ko parin ang sakit ng iyong paglisan?
bakit hindi kita kayang bitiwan?
bakit sa bawat oras ng aking kalungkutan,
ikaw, ikaw ang nagsisilbing dahilan ng aking kasiyahan?

ang unan ko'y basang basa na ng luha,
mata ko'y tuluyan ng namaga,
alam ko na wala na akong dapat kapitan,
kung kaya't sanay matutunan ko ng ika'y bitiwan.

mahal, wala akong karapatan para sabihin na ako'y iyong balikan,
dahil minsan na kitang pinagtabuyan,
kaya hinihiling ko na sana sa iyong muling paglisan,
kasabay nun ay ang unti unti kong pagtahan.

patawad sapagkat hindi na tama ang aking nadarama,
patawad sapagkat alam kong tayo'y tapos na,
patawad sa mga salitang hindi na maibabalik pa,
patawad, patawad sa pagpili ko noon na lisanin ka at wag ng lumingon pa.

labis ang naramdaman kong lungkot,
labis din ang poot dahil hindi kita malimot-limot,
subalit sa mga panahong naghihilom na ang kirot,
saka ka naman muling susulpot.

lubos akong nagalak,
puso ko'y nabusog sa iyong salitang mabubulaklak,
nawala ang patalim sa puso ko na nakasaksak,
nang ikaw sakin ay kumambak.

subalit hanggang kailan kaya mayroong "tayo"?
hindi ko maalis ang takot sa puso at isip ko,
hindi ko maalis ang nadarama kong silakbo,
na ang dapat na "tayo" ay mapalitan muli ng isang "kayo"

hanggang kailan mo ako muling mamahalin?
hanggang kailan mo ako muling yayakapin?
hanggang kailan mo muling ipaparamdam ang apoy ng pag-ibig?
o papatayin na lamang ito muli ng malamig na tubig?

natatakot ako sa mga bagay na hindi inaasahan,
na baka magbago ang iyong isipan,
natatakot ako sa mga pwedeng maging dahilan,
dahilan ng iyong posibleng paglisan.

kasi minsan mo na akong isinantabi,
minsan mo na kong trinato na parang walang silbi,
minsan mo ng binasa ng luha ang aking pisngi,
at minsan mo na rin pinunit ang puso ko sa iyong mga sinabi.

natatakot ako mahal ko,
nais kong magtiwala muli sa mga salita mo,
paumanhin, subalit natatakot ako,
natatakot akong iwan mo ulit ako.

sana'y sa ating karanasan sa nakaraan,
manatili ka sa aking tabi at huwag lumisan,
sapagkat ikaw ang aking kalakasan,
subalit ikaw rin ang aking kahinaan.

ikaw, ang pumapawi sa aking uhaw,
ikaw, ang nagbigay direksyon sa puso kong ligaw,
ikaw, ang dahilan kung bakit ang puso mula sa bintana ng kaluluwa'y dumungaw,
ikaw, ang nagbibigay sigla sa akin araw-araw.

hinihiling ko na sana sa oras na magbago ang ihip ng panahon,
magbago ang direksyon ng mga alon,
tumaliwas ang lahat ng bagay sa dapat nilang posisyon at direksyon,
mag-iba man ang huni ng mga ibon,

sa oras na ikaw ay aking muling tanungin,
isa laman ang isasagot mo sa akin,
"huwag kang matakot at mangamba,
mahal na mahal kita"

ilang beses na akong naniwala,
naniwala sa mga mapanlinlang na salita,
naniwala sa mga mapagpanggap na gawa,
ngunit sa bandang huli'y trinato na parang wala.

ilang beses na rin akong pinangakuan,
pinangakuan na hindi ako sasaktan,
pinangakuan na ako'y aalagaan,
ngunit sa bandang huli ako pala'y iiwan.

kaya ako'y may gustong hilingin,
sana ito'y iyong dinggin,
sa bawat salitang aking babanggitin,
sana ito'y iyong tuparin.

dahil sayo ako'y susubok muli,
sana ika'y manatili sa aking tabi,
kung maaari sana'y 'wag akong isantabi,
'wag tratuhin na isang pagkakamali.

simple lamang ang hiling ko aking sinta,
mahalin mo ako ng tapat at walang pagdududa,
sa bawat salita ay sana maging totoo ka,
'pagkat mahal kita at sa akin ay mahalaga ka.

rossy cheeks and pretty eyes,
pointed nose and lovely smiles.
humbly speaks in every way,
gets more beautiful day by day.

she walks as if her soul is on fire,
that many people really admire.
she can barely make my heart flutter,
even by just standing right in the corner.

many people tried to bring her down,
but she didn’t let them take her crown.
though haters hate her even more,
her kindness remains, that’s what I really adore.

confidently proud of what she is,
she’s just really such a masterpiece.
appeared to be soft but defeats blunt with keen,
how can you not love a girl like Maureen?

mukha mo’y paulit-ulit na inaalala,
kasabay ng paulit-ulit kong pagluha,
mata ko’y pasulyap-sulyap,
ikaw ang palaging hinahanap-hanap.

tuluyan na akong nalunod,
at tuluyan na akong inanod,
sa aking bawat pagtingin,
bumubugso ang aking damdamin.

sa oras ng iyong paglingon,
tila naguluhan ako sa sitwasyon,
ang lahat ba ng akala ko ay umaayon?
mahal mo na ba ako ngayon?

sa iyong paglakad, ako’y napatagilid,
sa aking mata’y may luhang nangingilid,
sapagkat sa iba ka lumapit,
at heto ako, tiniis na lamang ang nadaramang sakit.

I was there.

In times of need, I was there.
Hugging you tight, even though in pain. I stayed.
Always beside you even when I’m too weak to stand up.
When you needed me, I disregarded everything.
Every pain, every emotions, every single problems I have.
I stayed strong, because you needed me.

Endless chances, endless pain.
It doesn’t go away, but then I was still there.
At your darkest days and all the lies you made, I still believed.
But then where were you when I needed real help?
When I wanted to be better, why didn’t you believed?

I wanted to change, I wanted to make up for what I did.
I wanted to be better.
I wanted to be better.
I wanted to be better.
But then I’m all alone, in tears hugging myself.
No one believed and everyone else wants to leave.

Still, I stayed. I was always there.

You always wanted to be treated like a queen, like a princess.
Be in a kingdom of love, faith, hope, care, respect, and honesty.
Acting as if your life was filled with fairytales, filled with possibilities.
Drowning with the thoughts of battling with once upon a time and happy ending.

You once painted him as your knight in shinning armor.
Described him as your light in a place that's filled with darkness.
You wrote everything perfectly, but on what reason? What purpose?
Were you just overwhelmed by fulfilling the thought of being with him?

Two different paths to take, one choice to make.
One choice to make.
One path to take.
And without hesitation you choose him, over and over again.

Little by little you started to wonder,
What was really the purpose of doing this? Of being with the knight that shined light?
Was the light made everything clear? Or did it just blinded you?
Still you've got no answer, you're lost in your imaginations.

Your knight in shinning armor? Did he really saved you?
Your light in the darkness? Did you really see everything?
The path you took? Was it really the right path?
You should be saying yes, but why are you gloating?

Didn't you want this? Didn't you prayed for this?
Didn't you waited for this? Didn't you work hard for this?
The story you created for how many years just to make your life magical,
Yet you're stuck in your own fairytale that has no spark anymore.

When I met you, it felt like a dream come true,
Finally met the coffee that’s my kind of brew,
The type of someone who’s my style,
In tea, you’re my chamomile.

Entering your ship was the best,
I can feel my heart finally at rest,
Watching the sea looked serene and still,
See with you, that’s how my soul feels.

The waves became unpredictable,
Accurate leeward was impossible,
Some parts of you were locked in the fo’c’sle,
Hence, I must learn how to drive this vessel.

Captain, without you the ship isn’t stable,
You’re safe inside while me outside, struggle,
You have your priorities, I don’t want to interfere,
But hope you’ll be with me ‘til the storm clears.

Maybe it’s not safe being with you,
Entering your ship wasn’t the right thing to do,
My decision is still clouded with fear,
Should I just jump or stay with you here?

You will see the light of the star you always adored at night.
One day, the moon will serve as your savior from drowning in the darkness of your own past.
And these lights will then guide you into taking the right path.

Hindi inaasahang napadpad ako sa iyong kaharian,
Kung saan ako’y pinagsilbihan at inalagaan,
At sa bawat minuto na nasa piling mo ako,
Tila ba isang panaginip na ayaw kong huminto.

Ngunit mali ‘tong nararamdaman ko,
Sandata ko’y hindi kumpleto,
Hindi ka nga pala handa’t sigurado,
Para ipaglaban yung nararamdaman mo.

Heto ako paulit-ulit na naniniwala,
Pilit pa rin na umaasa,
Na baka bukas kamay ko’y hawak mo na,
Wala ng takot at pangangamba.

Pero kahit ako lang ang lumalaban,
Kathang isip lamang ang “tayo” sa aking isipan,
Hindi man ako yung prinsesa na para sayo,
Mananatili ka sa aking puso, prinsepe ko.

You should find you and nobody else but you.
Nobody can understand what you've been through and why you did what you did.
Because at the end of the day, you only have yourself.
You can only understand, you.

Rainy night, dimmed light,
Felt cold having a blurred sight.
Crying. Sobbing. Wondering.
Is there still a happy ending?

Sa mundong puno ng libu-libong pagdududa,
Bukod tanging sayo lang sumugal at nagtiwala.
Ngunit bakit sarili’y tila akin nang nalimutan,
Mas inuuna ang sayo kaysa sa aking nararamdaman.

Labis ang mga tanong na “paano na tayo?”,
Hindi na maisip kung “paano na ako?”,
Tama ba na sumugal at ilaban ko pa?
O mas mabuti na lang mag-isa?

i thought it's gone,
i thought it's done,
but my love for you,
grows in every little thing you do.

i know you'll ruin my world,
yet i faced it being so bold,
the love i had for you have a little bit of hate,
hate for making me fall so hard, my classmate.

she is the kind of a girl who is keen,
like a foxglove flower that i've never seen,
beautiful and elegant on its looks,
but seems to be very poisonous.

a bell-shaped highly toxic flower,
a life ruiner and a happiness killer,
a flower that is very dangerous,
that love requires you to be very cautious.

she can cause irregular heart function,
severe pain and hallucination,
that's the reason why it's hard to love,
a girl that's like a foxglove.

Sana sa mga oras na ako’y ubos na,
Andyan ka sana para bigyan ako ng pag-asa.
Sa mga pagkakataong ayaw ko na,
Yakapin mo sana ako at ‘di na pakawalan pa.

Mga yakap na siyang nagbibigay lakas,
Na wari’y isang lakas na nagsisilbing lunas,
Lunas sa mga sakit na hindi maipaliwanag,
Sa pagsasamang tila nauubusan na ng liwanag.

Mahal, isang mahipit na yakap,
Pantakip sa katotohanang hindi natin matanggap

Surrounded but alone.
Learned to grew stronger.
Heart of stone.
Became a fighter.

Always wanted to have someone,
No doubts, no judgement.
Couldn’t find one,
All wasn’t just clear with their intent.

Thought you were different,
Filled my heart with excitement,
Same vibe, same tastes,
I fear, might go to waste.

Took the risk, unsure.
Bet on it ‘til my heart sore.
Blinded by what you’ve shown,
Oh I forgot, I’m surrounded but all alone.

i once met a stranger,
he who cause my laughter,
he who makes me flatter,
and i who became his admirer.

what is this something?
this love for him i am feeling,
i know this feeling is worth denying,
but why am i still embracing?

do we fit each other? nope,
but then i found myself still holding the rope.
i told myself to stop holding on and let go,
but instead, i didn't follow it. no.

i once met a stranger,
he who became my lover.
but everything stays temporarily,
i need to accept that we aren't meant to be.

the stranger,
who became my partner,
that turned to be my lover,
was again a stranger.

i am a worthless person, i know,
value me? i hope so,
i admit i'm not perfect,
sometimes i do overreacted.

making conclusions,
making suspicious reactions,
creating nonsense illusions,
mistakes in every actions.

i am a worthless person, i know,
prioritize me? i hope so,
i'm not commanding you,
but still, i hope you do.

you complain about what you read and hear,
but what if i disappear?
will you even feel?
these grudges i don't want to reveal.

sa ilalim ng mga ngiti sa aking labi,
ay may nakatagong lungkot at pighati,
naguguluhan sa mga desisyong pinipili,
patuloy na pagku-kuwestiyon sa sarili.

pilit inaalam kung ako ba'y may importansya,
sa mga taong tinulungan kong magkaroon ng pag-asa,
lubos ang pagbibigay at aking isinakripisyo,
ngunit bakit tila wala naman yatang epekto?

pipilin lamang sa oras ng pangangailangan,
babalewalain sa oras na hindi mabigay ang kanilang kailangan,
ganito ba talaga ang mundo?
kilala ka lang kapag kaya **** ibigay ang kanilang gusto?

hindi nila nakikita ang aking kalungkutan,
dahil hindi naman nila gustong malaman,
at sino ba naman ako para magreklamo?
isang taong tumulong sa kanilang bumagon sa mundong magulo.

i looked at your eyes,
it always looked so nice,
whenever i stare,
you're always looking at her.

i realized, i'm really different from her,
i guess she's a whole lot better,
i guess i can't really have your heart,
and our story can never be restart.

she’s hurt and she cries,
screams as if she’s going to die,
but do you even hear her?
no, because you don’t even bother.

she’s hurt and she smiles,
believed each and every of your lies,
though she already knew it’s fruit,
she set aside all of the truth.

she’s hurt and she’s scared,
because none of you really cared,
for your love is too sweet,
that makes her hard to breathe.

she’s hurt but still loved you,
eventhough you made her feel blue,
believed you once again,
but never forget that the pain left a stain.

it gets blurry, it gets wavy,
sometimes things really gets crazy,
tears flow as the rain does,
don’t let everything have rust.

it gets blurry, it gets tough,
some things aren’t really enough,
turn of events may happen as the tape roll,
but don’t let everything fall.

blurred love may be complicated as it seems,
but complication is what love screams,
a love without complication is already dead,
like a body who doesn’t have a blood anymore to bled.

i was trapped in this darkness,
i was left so helpless,
then i found you standing infront of me,
smiling so perfectly and freely.

as i saw you there,
all things disappear,
you and me was the only thing left,
lighting the whole place filled with darkness.

you promised to be with me til death,
remember? i don't think so, you already forgot,
the together forever we promised with each other,
left me here all alone , crying in the corner.

why do you have to be the cause of my laughters?
if you'll just leave me full of tears,
why do you have to be the cause for my life to have purpose?
if you'll just leave me full of sorrows.

before, you're the reason of my racing heart,
now, you're the reason why my heart is torn apart,
to the person who made my heart sore,
thank you for the memories i still store.

maaaring pwede at maaaring hindi,
lungkot laban sa ngiti,
ikaw laban sa ako,
tayo laban sa mundo.

sa bawat sandali na nakakasama ka,
ang mga ngiti sa labi’y ‘di maipinta,
ngunit sa kabila nito’y may mga humuhusga,
mabuting itigil daw ito dahil hindi tama.

ano nga bang dapat na gawin?
sa mga alaalang ginawa natin,
mga bugso ng ating damdamin,
itutuloy pa ba o pipilitin na lamang pigilin?

we all have our own fears,
a fear that'll be the cause of our tears,
it may be the reason of our sadness,
that may lead to loneliness.

but then we must conquer it all,
face our fears so that we won't fall,
throw away your anxiety,
and show some bravery.

i saw you with the one you love,
she's really lucky for the things she have,
does she know that she have my world?
does she even know your worth?

while i was staring at the both of you,
i didn't know what to do,
my eyes became wet,
teardrops i felt.

i remember the moment i lose hope,
the moment i realize that i should stop,
that time when i surrender myself up,
that moment that i gave up.

i realized that i'm really really tired,
i already new my worth and protect my pride,
but each time i saw you,
i can't help myself but to fall back in love with you.

the harder i tried to get rid of this feelings of mine,
the stronger i tried to stick with the word "i'm fine",
the more i thought that we're through,
the more i fall and fall in love with you and everything you do.

we have different choices in life,
be killed or **** with a knife?
we have to make wise decisions,
we have to find a better solutions.

people come and go they say,
accept it or not, no human is meant to stay.
wrong or right?
leave or fight?

i tried bringing it back,
i tried unlocking the lock,
yet you continued closing the door,
and it really makes my heart sore.

don't you appreciate my worth?
don't you notice all of my efforts?
why are you always finding someone,
if you always found the wrong woman?

please give me another chance,
if not, please lend me your last glance,
for i am too weak to see you walking away,
so please, can you atleast stay?