I'm leading my way in my own grief. Pretending to be nowhere but the truth is I'm fully wide-eyed. A lot of what ifs? What if I let go? What if I won't? What if I pretend that nothing happens? What if I stop chasing? What if i stop caring? What if we shouldn't met? And what if I shouldn't love you? Does the waves stop? Does the floods can go back to its rightful placed? or does the moon and sun can be together? I know it's impossible but I'm still trying to hold on with someone whom I couldn't have.
swimming in pools shined upon by a hundred neon lights, racing each other past labyrinths, really just stairs with never ending flights, with the hum of playlists we created in the background and almost perfect sights a spectrum arrayed over countless black and white nights now our tracks rest over pedestrian lines, waiting for the light to turn green looking silly with the feathered, glittery wings strapped on our backs- this proven by the numerous stares people keep giving us i could care less because you were in an urge to buy them from the costume shop; you said it was a necessity for tonight's "mission" and it was all just so funny; you're funny because the first night i whispered “you up for an adventure?" you just looked at me with so much hesitation, as if i were a delinquent and you'd rather i leave you to yourself but now we can almost be a platonic bonnie and clyde; waiting for the light to go red holds such betrayal because as long as it stays orange we can have more adventures and we'll always get a glimpse of the first sign of sunrise but once it turns green,i know you'd still go after her that no matter how much thrill the night makes you feel, how many graffitis we'd spray paint our own graffitis over, how many new songs and mixed CD's we'd trade, it's still her somehow amidst the full moons and the waxing crescents you're still stuck in the time watching the sunset and the raindrops gently come home to the earth with her when you were enough to her you're still stuck in what almost was and what could've been, what could still be; but will it ever be again? you're still hers you're stuck in the chasms she's unknowingly created chained to her love that made you alive all this time tied to her presence you long to feel again and i want so badly to set you free but i can't because you wouldn't mind drowning in a whirlpool if she told you to do so four three two one light turns red, traffic halts - please don't leave just yet