Ink wraps its arms around an idea,
Tracing letters that act as messengers
Of hope sent from some remote area,
With defiance towards its challengers.

The ink once it’s written speaks its own voice,
Like a child set free from its parent’s pen.
The pen having etched its lines made its choice
To have its intent not matter again.

Caring for all these children in my head,
They mature the moment that they are penned.
As confidently as they each have fled,
They don’t reflect on me as I intend.

Each word is a child that I have let go,
The ink no more under the pen’s control,
Out in the world seeing what I don’t know,
But into these children I wrote my soul.

Shall I say “I love you” again?
Endless fawning adoration,
I fear there will be a day when
You tire of my adulation.

But those words are bound up in me,
And I can’t hold “I love you” in,
They cry out with sincerity,
Though to your ears they might wear thin.

“I love you” is significant,
It shows you how I want to live,
Born of feeling magnificent,
But sometimes all I have to give.

Forgive for each I “love you,”
Don’t dismissively demean it,
They’re only spoken if they’re true,
And each time a man should mean it.

I have a headboard on my bed.
I don’t like when the pillows fall,
slid between the mattress and wall,
with nothing to prop up my head.

I do not have a footboard though.
(It’s a footboard, right? I’m not sure.)
It seems a bedset’s haute couture—
useless ornament just for show.

I also don’t have those siderails.
You know. The kind that toddlers use,
so they don’t fall off while they snooze.
For now, I’ve outgrown such travails.

See, three is my lucky number,
and there can be no objections
if from one of three directions,
I climb in to start my slumber.

Now, though, all that having been said,
I really haven’t slept okay.
Wait! I’ll just sleep the other way!
I have a footboard on my bed.

Been sure of my love since we begun it,
But I’m not perfect—in fact far from it.
I know how much patience loving me takes,
So forgive me for these coming mistakes:

My restless sleep that disturbs you at night.
When I hurt your back from hugging too tight.
For being distant when I’m deep in thought.
For each time it was my fault when we fought.
For not telling you which dress you should wear,
‘Cause if I’m with you I really don’t care.
I annoy you with an unfunny text.
You tell me and I still forget what’s next.
I get impatient while standing in line.
You doubt me when I say everything’s fine.
I let my ego get out of control.
My apologies dig a deeper hole.
I cry like a baby just from your touch.
I try too hard ‘cause I love you too much.

While I try to be better than ever,
I’ll still need your forgiveness forever.

Whence does the Earth spin on its axis,
turning day after day, boundless energy
transforming boundless horizons
to sunrise, to sunset, and to sunrise again?

Would the Earth spin on its axis
if not for me, here, aging day by day
and seeing the morning after darkness
reminding me to be a little more alive?

Whence the energy to turn the world?
It must be the joy that beats in my heart
empowering my will to live,
and to love. Whence that power?

A woman. Beautiful inside and out,
wind blowing in her hair, her smile
replacing the sun. A beautiful woman,
this is what spins the world on its axis.

Whence the world keeps spinning?
For me it is my heartbeat, an engine
of love that she feeds with a goodness
good and beautiful enough to power the world.

Sunrise to sunset—nay, even beyond,
time in commitment to accomplishment,
the world demands my efforts to respond,
but I am struck dumb with astonishment.

Starry nights mind thoughts I cannot control,
while azure skies beg me to live my dreams.
The unconscious desires of my soul
zealously dominate my conscious streams.

It is day! A new day, with much to do!
Still, those earthly needs have been pushed aside.
I cannot rid myself of thoughts of you—
and I can think of nothing else beside.

Day has come, though the sunrise should inspire,
you are the inspiration I require.

You are the stormy seas
     Waves emanate from below the surface
          Erupting with frothy ferocity
     To capsize vessels
Captained by those who won’t commit
     To anything but leisure.
But those seas are mine
     To navigate through torrent and storm
          Firm against the waves
     I will not abandon ship
But will hold tightly
     Till the calm waters.

I’m the cling-clang of coins in my pocket,
and loose paperclips in a desk drawer.
Like lipstick and gum in a lady’s purse,
I’m a kid’s toys strewn about on the floor.

When I walk my insides rattle about,
like a  janitor’s keys without his ring,
like groceries bagged by junior baggers,
I’m jumbled as a cat’s unraveled string.

I’m less ordered than a box of Legos,
or debris remaining after a storm.
Nuts and bolts in an amateur toolbox
click-clack and click-clack with even more form.

I’m just a package of random loose parts,
though the world sees me as perfectly fine.
Life is making order of that chaos,
but it’s my life and that chaos is mine.

The guiding hand, clenched in its fist,
Cares not for the chances we’ve missed.
Bony fingers tighten ‘round us,
Of Devil or God confounds us.

Fate’s hand places us where it will,
Objections met with an eerie still.
The Devil’s hand or of the Lord,
Punishments can look like reward.

The benevolent hand at play,
Requests for which we blindly pray,
Indifferent which powerful font,
God or Devil gives what we want.

A hand from beyond has control
In return it asks for our soul.
What if ere we die we live good?
Is the Devil misunderstood?

The familiar ba-bump ba-bump,
Of spikes and valleys on the screen,
The electrocardiogram
Looked the same as it’s always been.

The doctor turned toward the nurse
And traced the image with his hand,
“This heartbeat look completely fine.
I simply do not understand.”

The nurse stared back at him baffled,
And the doctor just cracked a smile.
“I heard of this in medical school,
But it has really been a while.”

“You have?” asked the curious nurse.
“Does the condition have a name?”
“True Love,” the wistful doctor laughed.
“You heartbeat never feels the same.”

The nurse removed the patient’s wires,
Who pointed to the screen above.
The doc said, “Your heart’s different—”
He smiled, “Because I’m so in love.”

It doesn’t have to hurt any longer.
Believing love is worth it is a choice.
Love can break spirits but hearts are stronger.
Your need for love is speaking, hear its voice.

To be in love is to tear down your walls.
You’re defenseless but don’t have to be hurt.
Don’t let pain chase love away when it calls.
Your heart and soul weren’t made to be inert.

Not everyone who says “I love you” leaves.
There’s someone who’ll do everything to stay.
Though right now it’s not what your mind believes,
You heart will die if you chase love away.

Love seems to break our hearts beyond repair.
Yet love has kept the human race alive.
If we weren’t meant to love it wouldn’t be there.
So, love! I promise you you will survive.

Of course I love you, for how could I not?
The beautiful face, I never forgot.
Of course I love you, you are like my queen.
Perfect and graceful, like none I have seen.
Of course I love you, my heart has been bound.
I longed to kiss you, the day you were found.
Of course I love you, I can’t look away.
I dwell in my dreams, to see you all day.
Of course I love you, do you have a doubt?
You’re the precious one, I can’t live without.
Of course I love you, ‘twas love at first sight.
Isn’t it perfect, how it feels so right?

The freeze returned, and I, no earmuffs on,
Expecting warmth, kissed by the sunlight’s dance,
Ice kissed my ear, poor cuddle in the dawn,
Curse the frozen, I’d melt if in warm hands.

The calendar, it turned with betrayal,
The promised spring, a kiss that never came,
‘Tis the season, of relationship fail,
Morning and night, that chill comes all the same.

Jack Frost nipping, but not what I deserve,
Frostbitten heart, when will your fire be lit?
This cold despair, how much more in reserve,
My lips turn blue, hot kiss, I wait for it!

The atmosphere about me, done me wrong.
I’ve waited for some warmth for far too long.

Everything withers, e’en leaves of a tree,
Lush and full of life, verdant canopy.
The years take their toll, brittle death sets in,
The floor greets darkness the bare tree lets in.

The living have their time, then fade away,
Life lasts a moment, death years and a day.
We perish, and the preserved go rotten,
What we did, who we were, long forgotten.

Our long days belie our shortness of years,
The ground remains dry, unchanged by our tears.
Nothing yet lives that won’t see its last dawn,
There is no forever; all will be gone.

Plants return to earth, and us back to dust,
We live in denial; should we adjust?
Everything withers, e’en leaves of a tree.
I know this, yet, I am compelled to be.

Your kisses are like snowflakes
Melting on my tongue
No two alike.

Your embrace is like the wind
It’s all around me
Felt all over.

Your touch is like the sunlight
I know it’s touched me
When I feel warmth.

Your eyes are perfect windows
They show what’s inside
And reflect me.

Your love is vast as the sky
Everywhere I go
It shelters me.

The words have numbered ten thousand,
Deep secrets poured in every line,
Each thick with meaning, prose and rhyme.
Tell me, Muse, did you understand?

My silent voice pens the imperfect word,
My feelings disguised in my allusions,
This meager poet writes to illusions.
Tell me, Muse, whether my message was heard?

My shame permits only poems disguised,
My heart seeks safety by speaking in code,
Fear of rejection if true feeling showed.
Tell me, Muse, was love for you realized?

So many poems, each one has been true,
The literal is too scary to write,
I express love with clarity of night.
Tell me, Muse, did you know ‘twas about you?

The whirring ceiling fan first sound I heard,
Low hum of traffic outside my window,
Pictures on my wall still bleary and blurred,
Cheek warm and damp from head on my pillow.

This is the moment when life awakens,
Senses still calibrated to my dreams,
Haven’t yet moved but feeling I’m shaken,
Wrapped in the embrace of the world’s extremes.

Beauty! You can’t be escaped or denied!
Beauty! Once seen you will never depart!
Beauty! You came and I locked you inside!
Beauty! You are what I see with my heart!

Beauty! Here from sunsets to sunrises!
Beauty! You! Who my love realizes!

I’ve taken my longing with me
Untethered and alone
Seeking a sense of belonging
To be domiciled in comfort
And have found my fortune.
Your arms feel like home.

These travels found lonely roads
Lost among darkness
Leading to abandonment
And doors unwelcome
Till I found a place to live.
Your arms feel like home.

In the chill of cold nights
Exposed and frozen
Hoping a guardian angel
Would shelter my shiver
Under her protection.
Your arms feel like home.

The world presents too few opportunities
To say “I love you,”
Perhaps because the feeling arises constantly,
And I am not near you
As often as I would need to be
Each time the spirit moves me.

I can think “I love you” each time I see you
Whether real or dreamt,
But what good is this perpetual thought if
You don’t know it
Then, in that instant
Each time the spirit moves me?

Your existence surpasses all time and space.
To say “I love you”
Feels smaller than the grandeur of those moments,
Those fleeting moments
You occupy in me
Each time the spirit moves me.

Awake before my opened eyes
And though the hour is not yet dawn
Nor hint of sun begun to rise
Not still and starry darkness gone.

An image danced before my eyes
A waiting jewel beyond the dawn
Though wide awake I dare not rise
And lose the sight of slumber gone.

Unlike a dream not seen with eyes
It came to me as sure as dawn
Subconscious hidden now to rise
Deep sleep unconscious shackles gone.

I see your face with all my eyes
Your face begins my day pre-dawn
When I lie down to when I rise
Your smile is never ever gone.

Last year blessed me like no other,
Though past sins need absolution,
In my hoping for another,
I offer these resolutions:
Continue to write to inspire.
Keep after curiosity.
Win Powerball and then retire.
Adore those who inspire me.
Take pride in watching my sons grow.
Love them through the mistakes they’ll make.
My books featured on a talk show.
Act with intent for Heaven’s sake.
Achieve integrity in love.
Try to see more without my eyes.
Get weight down instead of above.
Tell my faithful heart fewer lies.
Resolve traumas at years ago.
Listen more closely to God’s voice.
More west coast to avoid the snow.
Don’t waste a moment to rejoice.
So thank you for the things I’ve seen,
Keep in touch in Twenty Nineteen.

To love is to wonder, “What is wonder?”
To find myself lost in, her eyes of green,
To quake from my heartbeat, strong as thunder,
Dreaming that she loved me, what would it mean?

To love is to wonder, “What is wonder?”
To never unsee, her angelic face,
Utterly helpless, her spell I’m under,
Could I feel her love, held in her embrace?

To love is to wonder, “What is wonder?”
To not have her image, out of my sight,
But not let this dream, tear me asunder,
Dream she’s in love with me, all day and night.

To love is to wonder, “What is wonder?”
To vanish in love, the moment she looked,
A love forever, that never shunned her,
Wonder, O wonder, on her love I’m hooked.

It’s simple really, a clear solution.
Clear enough to get rid of confusion.
Wait.
When the love you knew leaves you desolate,
Wait.

The simple fact is, you’ll never solve it,
Martyred anguish will never resolve it.
Wait.
When you think that you’ve lost your true soulmate,
Wait.

It’s a simple truth, despite what you feel.
Time hastens the better for you to heal.
Wait.
Love will come again, even if it’s late.
Wait.

Trust simplicity, don’t listen to pain.
If you loved once you can be loved again.
Wait.
Make your self ready to welcome your fate,
And…wait.

Howsoever you shall now enter me,
I still shall not know what to do with thee,
You of fearsome spirituality,
You beauty! Stuns and paralyzes me!

Wherefore placed on Earth you of stolen divine,
Who numbs me as intoxicating wine?
You are unique to me but are not mine.
You beauty! No Sun shall ever outshine!

Who is the artist to whom you belong?
Drawn perfect lines and no color wrong!
I was born wanting and for you I long.
You beauty! Who makes weak knees of the strong!

Kiss me through the day and into the night!
Without you what need have I for my sight?
But for you I’d have no poems to write,
You beauty! My inspiration! My light!

The sunlight cannot overcome the cloud,
The water vapor blocks the rays from sight. 
A tiny mouse can scare away a crowd,
The powerful concede without a fight. 

A mighty ship sunk by a little leak,
A paper cut that makes a grown man cry,
Vast canyons are eroded by a creek,
Goliath felled by stone between the eye. 

A single word can move a heart to feel,
Or shatter into pieces bonds of trust. 
One look belies whatever eyes conceal,
One touch can turn a pious man to lust. 

The meekest things can tame ferocity,
The stillness of your soul has vanquished me.

I have but one humble request.
Forget not I who loved you best,
Not I whose love will never rest,
With all my love I loved you best.

Acknowledge to me only this.
There is none else you want to kiss,
Mine are the only lips you miss,
As yours are those I want to kiss.

Assure me that you realize.
You see the love inside my eyes,
The tears of joy of joyful cries,
Of your image inside my eyes.

Promise me this one thing you know.
The closeness of our love will grow,
Coming together fast or slow,
Come closer so my love will grow.

If nothing else let this be true.
Devote to me as I for you,
Making love as only we do,
Love me for me as I for you.

Contentment left me discontented,
dissatisfied with satisfaction.
Unselfishness left me resented,
attractiveness was no attraction.

Couldn’t depend on dependable,
and it was hard when it was easy.
Neediness became expendable,
and too much calm made me feel queasy.

Lost all passion for the passionate,
conflicted by the lack of conflict.
No more heart to be compassionate,
found imperfection in the perfect.

A good enough love was never good,
finding those loves not worth looking for.
I know now what I then understood—
love like ours is everything and more.

Too many paths where the traffic has slowed,
Too many wrong turns down forks in the road.
Too many hazards where I’ve blown a flat,
Too many stops that I didn’t know I was at.
Too many false steps into a puddle,
Too many treks where my plan was a muddle.
Too many times I was lost in the rain,
Too many times I crossed the center lane.
Too many speeds where I needed to brake,
Too many wrong places reached by mistake.
Too many spin outs from driving on ice,
Too many times I left driven by vice.
Too many trips life put me at the wheel,
Too many heartbreaks I caused her to feel.

They were only words but they had meaning.
He met with them as an empty vessel.
Inside him, though, a way he’d been leaning,
Thoughts which he did not know how to wrestle.

They were only words but his bell was rung—
Sudden elusive feel of vibration!
Sounding a note like a string had been strung,
An echo resonant with elation!

They were only words but they made him sing,
Of pleasures hidden away for too long.
How much inspiration these words could bring!
He’d never heard his own heart write its song!

He’d been so dull with words, but below it—
The sensitivity of a poet!

“Broken” is an understatement.
“Broken” is like a pencil’s tip.
“Broken” is just an annoyance.
“Broken” is something fixable.

Love heals what is beyond broken.
Love repairs total destruction.
Love rebuilds a thousand pieces.
Love reforms embers and ashes.

“Broken” is too facile a term.
“Broken” heals if just left alone.
“Broken” is the every day.
“Broken” is not in need of love.

Love is wasted on the broken.
Love puts soul in a crumbled self.
Love takes on what no longer is.
Love can make people out of dust.
Love does so much more than repair.
Love is the act of creation.

Forgive me, my heart beats too fast.
I suffer from lightheadedness.
In frigid sweats I shrink aghast.
I panic from my breathlessness.

My weakened legs won’t let me stand.
My skin sizzles like it’s been shocked.
Can’t calm the tremor in my hand.
I’m speechless as if jaw’s been locked.

My eyes are crossed in confusion.
I’m frozen like an icy blue.
I’m afraid it’s no illusion.
My body’s broken around you.

Where is beauty in perfection?
In flawlessly done artistry?
I raise powerful objection
To such dishonest sophistry.

Give me the honest blemishes,
And the scars of vitality.
Beauty is not found in wishes
Of objects of idolatry.

The beauty’s in the crooked smile
And in the hearts of brokenness.
There’s beauty in that distinct style
Of earnestly but mismatched dress.

Beautiful is not perfection.
Beauty is beauty in itself.
Mine is another’s rejection,
I see your beauty for myself.

Pain is just an echo,
an effect that the deep
caverns cannot let go,
calling us in our sleep.

The reverberation
of pain we’d thrown away,
in determination,
tries to return and stay.

The injury calls back,
“Still here! You are not cured!”
And now under attack
of hurt not felt but heard.

Pain is just an echo,
of the hurt that left me.
I just need it to know
I’m in recovery.

I woke this morning, inevitably,
(Thank goodness), and air rushed into my chest.
I thought not of life, invariably,
But the joy (thank goodness) gives me no rest.

I woke up and I fell in love again,
With a woman who (thank goodness) loves me.
Heartbeats and breath are no comparison
To a lover (thank goodness) fine as she.

No sooner had the sunlight hit my face
I woke (thank goodness) ever more full of love.
While life as its own reward has its place,
I’ve her in my life (thank goodness) above.

Each morning I fall in love more deeply,
Waking up (thank goodness) to have the chance.
New day new chance for this love to greet me
With life (thank goodness) and also romance.

Monday has come,
To divide the earth from holy.
The firmament,
Transcended by humans solely.

The second day,
The water below and above.
I start my week,
Present and aware of your love.

Monday has come,
To connect my heart to the sky.
The firmament,
Across which I feel God’s reply.

The second day,
The day God made the color blue.
I start my week,
To honor this day God made you.

Scribbled notes, a word, here and there,
thoughts jotted down before they’re lost,
journals filled with rhymes from thin air,
failed metaphors erased and tossed.

Crumpled paper piled in my head,
stories that should not be written,
poems penned never to be said,
a single word had me smitten.

A phrase I think might become more,
a tiny twinge might be a seed,
a style I’ve never used before,
an allusion that might succeed.

Images that need description,
seeing a fraction of a whole,
each of these an apt depiction
of chaos in a writer’s soul.

A league of angels stop and stare
Ascending their ladder up to Heaven,
Wond’ring why God is so unfair,
That there’s no beauty like you in Heaven.

The envy of God’s retinue
Plead for relief from their bond to Heaven,
For all the angels would choose to
Be mortal near you rather than Heaven.

Angels standing at God’s right hand
Plot their escape from service in Heaven,
And beg to be at your command
To worship beauty not found in Heaven.

The angels’ love is infinite
Eternally around them in Heaven,
But even that love they’d forfeit
For a love like yours not found in Heaven.

Every angel would fall from grace,
And vow never to return to Heaven,
If given lips to kiss your face,
Because there’s no joy like that in Heaven.

Faith is what holds broken shards together.
Pieces left over of something shattered.
Faith sweeps them, delicate like a feather,
From the mess into which they’ve been scattered.

Faith takes the brokenness and makes it whole.
Jagged pieces must be handled with care.
Faith softens them with power to console.
They will rebuild with belief they’re all there.

Faith is the power to compel healing.
It is the life force of recovery.
Faith is glue between cracks that need sealing.
Knowing the broken will heal is the key.

Faith broken hopes come back stronger redeems,
Like a mirror whose scratches disappear.
Faith sculpts new life out of broken down dreams,
As if out of sand new glass could appear.

Faith takes the chaos of a broken soul,
Faith resurrects it if given control.

When every window is a mirror,
When you cannot see real life as it is,
When you think the world shows yourself clearer,
Then that reflection of you is amiss.

When how you feel is how you think you are,
When abandonment makes you run away,
When your own anger leaves you with the scar,
Then it’s you who are the one you betray.

When the same brokenness repeats itself,
When the same cries of resentment are spilled,
When unable to see blame in yourself,
Then your prophecy becomes self-fulfilled.

When you accept you have goodness inside,
When you forgive and accept affection,
When you let yourself be loved from outside,
Then at last you will see your reflection.

I breathe memories of every feeling,
A heart pumping emotions through my veins,
Inhaling air of heartache for healing,
To feel nothing but feelings eases pains.

Nourishing my hunger with my loves lost,
Sustaining myself on passionate thought,
Feeding on my feelings at any cost,
Sated by feelings the memories brought.

Loves old and love new are my source of life,
The deep passions I’ve had fill up my lungs,
With strengthening heartbeats beating on strife,
While the sweetness of loving is the tongue’s.

No need to eat or breathe yet still survive,
To be in love is all I need to thrive.

My entire world is lying next to me,
Adoring me gently, and sensuous.
Together in a nakedness that’s free,
With passion devouring and virtuous.

My love is in the body beside me,
And in the soul, seductive yet so sweet.
Our bodies safe as they are meant to be,
In anticipation of when they meet.

All I ever wanted is next to me,
Wanting finally the one that I want.
The moment she kisses me so gently,
I lose self-control I’ve wanted to flaunt.

I love her lying beside me in bed,
She’s as much in my arms as in my head.

Insecurity unnerving.
Innate need to feel deserving.
There’s so much I aspire to be.
But no success has been for me.

Capturing all the love that’s near,
While to be unloved is my fear.
Wishing this thought could be unlearned--
Feeling that love has been unearned.

Sometimes I wish I could just live,
Without this tired narrative.
That my ambition for success,
Based not on fear I’d be loved less.

Who needs to stand out from the crowd
Just to make the pretty girls proud?
Nothing I’ve done has been my own.
I’ve just been scared to be alone.

I’ve done so little just for me.
And now I see the irony.
At last admired and adored,
For motivations I abhorred.

The first time you said “I love you,”
I felt my soul floating away.
I’d been waiting for it, it’s true,
But words I never thought you’d say.

Life changed when you said, “I love you.”
I had lost feeling in my heart.
Your words made everything feel new,
So new I don’t know where to start.

You surprised me with “I love you.”
Needing to hear it so badly,
I wasn’t sure just what to do,
Knowing I love you, too, madly.

The moment you said “I love you,”
I felt that Heaven was my own.
My love, the one thing that I knew
Was that I’d love the next unknown.

What have you paid for this nothingness,
This refusal you have made your own,
Wearing discontent like shamefulness,
To be greatest at being alone?

What satisfaction your martyrdom,
Your stubborn turning the other cheek,
The Queen of the loneliest kingdom,
Self-loathingly bragging she is weak?

What appreciation have you earned,
Playing the role of unlovable,
Who knows more than the lessons she learned,
Too scared to be discoverable?

What’s worth being unworthy of love,
Flaunting beauty as only a tease,
Fallen from that pedestal above,
If you smiled once you’d find love with ease.

This love is not the one you’re haunted by.
You are not subject to demons’ torment.
That scar is not enough to terrify.
That ghost of hurt is not malevolent.

Not everyone you see will wear a mask,
Nor every feeling from some witch’s spell.
No monster gives you poison when you ask,
Nor is your tale a ghost story to tell.

Your life is more than just a vampire’s meal.
You might find peace below the fullest moon.
Tonight for once release the fear you feel.
Redemption from your fear is coming soon.

Though heartbreak is your scariest thing yet,
To miss new love’s a scarier regret.

Oh mind! Don’t let me forget thee!
Not the innocence of your laugh,
Nor the smile that causes my own.
Oh mind! Don’t let me forget thee!
Not the way you seem to need me
So that I never feel alone.

Oh mind! Don’t let me forget thee!
Joyous melody of your voice,
Electricity in your eyes.
Oh mind! Don’t let me forget thee!
No, not your magnificent quirks,
Not your exasperated cries.

Oh mind! Don’t let me forget thee!
Not even long past memories,
Of the time with you I’ve gotten.
Oh mind! Don’t let me forget thee!
All that’s left is you in my head,
My heart’s already forgotten.