I'm kinda on that boarder
between tipsy
and really drunk
maybe a couple more
to obliterated
it's not making me feel better

Maybe they'll publish me
one the corner of the
daily
page 6
and sorry ***** black smears
bite they no longer
print any questions about what
or why
the daily exposition celebrity
murders
all bright screens now
farms as far as you can squint

The deer are buried up to their necks
in the sandy soil
the struggle for purchase
frees them
into a pack of black wolves jaws

I have the flu
and that is perfect
It's not sarcastic
because now I can be
rotten
on the outside too

Keeper of the meaning
      Mindfulness a prelude
           The struggled literature
  it asked the way
The keeper,  
    contemplating the path
          Stopped to think about
       Natural things
Asking elders on the trail
Creating triads
         Depicting aspects  
                  of her answer
    To the question
What it means
And some;          
  were enlightened
             And air and breath and beauty
       Wrought wrath
Indigenous justices
    Things worth keeping
          To the keeper of meaning

All the rules of the universe, its light, heat, gravity, electromagnetism, its math, its history, its civilizations and people; all that was, is, and will ever be; exist within the pages of a book.

The book sits on a shelf next to other books. Some of the books on the shelf look like our book, except maybe one letter is different. Others tell stories, or are written in Chinese and Greek. Most of the books are complete chaos, letters mashed together by insane typewriters that spout nothing but gibberish at best and at worst are just a jumble of letters. Pages and pages are blank or contain only one character. Notes of music and vibration spring forth from others.

Rows of shelves go on and on into the distance, in a building with floor after floor of library space. Elevators and Stairs take you to new floors, some of them are underwater or on fire or upside down. Everything ever written or yet to be written or imagined or unimagined is contained within.

This is the Multiverse.

We sat on the floor
Of the antique shop
Thumbing through a large box
Of old postcards
Some of them have writing
and were mailed a long time ago
You buy only one
It's a faded love letter
With a line
"I love you in the same old way"

There's a town
It glitters with light
In a valley with walls
That sharply ***** heavenward
Into vicious triangular teeth
Covered in snowpack
And ancient spines

I'll press my face against the wall
and pretend it's your cheek
on mine
even though it's cold
I need to watch less
****-o-graphy
It's making me
lonely

Oh god I haven't had nightmares
Like that in
awhile
crouching in that basement
bathtub
from my childhood
the theme was clearly fearful
Someone had come
and I was hiding
making myself small
taking little breaths
so they couldn't hear my terror
my heartbeats
but I could hear
their heavy foot steps
on the carpet
crunching it
upstairs
maybe the door will hide me
when they open it and I make
sure the lights are off but
there's more than one now
and
they're coming

It's soft white alabaster but
a little dingy from overuse
hinting it's age with a bit of staining
around its curved spout
condensation dribbles from the lid down its azure twisting floral patterns
hissing it's boil with a pitched
Screeeeeeeeeeeee

Throw my hood up
get the **** away from me
No don't wanna talk about what's wrong
(Is it going to be okay)
Slam the door to let them know
How upset I am and now
Its off its hinge
and I'm off to binge
that will show them
give the finger
from the back of 911

Long dark fur of blackest night
Round green eyes give sudden fright
Yawn her cares with stretching bite
Warms my lap when sits are right

I want to live
in a tin roofed shack
with a cooking fire underneath
that curls up its smoke
from under an iron ***
watch blue dark clouds
Roll in over the hours
so I can hear it's music
beat a rhythm out on my tin roof

Don thy best armours
For your heart flies
a lock of her shining hair
betwixt the spear shaft
to pierce the hearts of men
their broken forms lay strewn
across aphrodites battlefields
Beware you glimpse
such grace as ever strode
the folds of firmas breast

The truth is whatever
I say it is
So
Leave me alone
I just want
My secret life

I always see in my dreams this theme of
long stretches
desert
flat sand colored plains
baked ground with scraggly roots
dried or wet salt lakes
a punishing angry yellow sun
that's the foreground and behind
oil painted and smeared mesa
or mountainous distant horizons
I'm always traveling
it's important where I'm going
but I go nowhere in particular
by foot or car
sometimes horseback
what am I looking for
unconscious what are you telling me
The other day I remember more
clearly
I was wearing my armor
and wading through a field
hip high reeds with water or a river
to my left and as I walked
I saw a gap in the foliage
across the river
was a figure, a person, wearing black
they just stood there
didn't move
stared back and did
nothing else
but there was clearly
menace
and it ended

I awoke
from the blackest bird suicidal coma
I wasn't ready to uplift my soul
Clasped hands like you were the new              church
take me with you to nowhere
on dirt covered highways

I've seen the kind of violence
that makes you ill
for the rest
of your
life.
grotesque bombastic dramas
and tragic gore soaked tears
and when it's still
and quiet
it comes roaring back to you

When the night is clear and cold
and the stars poke through
the pine branches
hold yourself closer and block out the wind
and grip my hand tighter in the dark
I'll keep you safe
from a startled deer
In evenings shade

I want to edge my foot closer
Over that
Crumbling
Landscape
Of cliff
Side
And feel no
Purchase there
Only air
And have my stomach
Rise
In my throat
With a
Sudden pull
And a rushing
Wind
Flapping garments
And suddenly
Break
My body
To pieces
Shattered
On your body
Below

You gorgeous creatures
delicate powder brushed faces
behind those large dark sunglasses
casually smoking
with your legs crossed
I'd burn my icarus wings
to catch the scent
of your perfume

When a passing cloud
might meet another
and together unleash
                                             Lightning
On thirsting ground
our significant spark
                                             Strikes
Bone-brittle tinder
buoyed by the quiet
breeze, an ember
                                             smolders until
Evening wind blows,
carries, smoking wisps
upon its wings into
                                            the forest
Sighs into crackling
summer leaves until
the canopy
                                            burns
So take note of every
passing cloud, because
you never know

Bottled stars
And extinguished constellations
Melting heat
Warming welcome
Dangerous sparks
Bottomless pain
Hidden behind
Blue shifting tundras
struggling for purchase
So blue
They'll pierce you to the core
Of your being

I write this after reading your letter to me 3 times & smelling it quite a bit more. Sadly I am sure it will disappoint you, For I am no poet. I consistantly Fumble with words (and my hand writing is horrid).
Whilst I am clearly wretched at these things there are a few I am okay at feelings of course, I can barely find the words to describe them but I am certainly capable of expressing them, And Moments I live off of moments. The moment in which i loved you or realized I did (or at least choose to recognize it) Was on that hike, with the rain and

the streams of sun gazing upon your face. But if I am being totally honest with myself, I loved you before that moment, that was simply the moment of acceptance of my fate. But truly I already loved you, already knew it, but knew I could not. I hadn't any choice though. It just was. I love you in a way that even metaphor cannot handle I love you more that the moon loves the tide, and I, like the moon want nothing more than to anchor you to me and pull you closer. I want all of your faults & stress

your anger, your stories, your secret, you past, your present, your future to sink into mine and become one entity, I want to hold you long enough that our souls meld together and never separate in this life or the next. I hate me & I dont like the thought of "you" I just want Us. Ive never been truly happy, and then there was an us, and life made more sense. Days had a purpose. Things are better, and there are all of these moment that continue to build that

and it is perfect