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Dec 2019 · 156
happy birthday lover
kerri Dec 2019
last night i dreamt of you
we haven’t seen or talked to each other in years
my mind has barely thought of you
but i dreamt that we were together
it was your birthday and we were happy in love
my feelings are coming back
you’re nowhere to be found
Dec 2019 · 143
white noise
kerri Dec 2019
i’ve lost enjoyment in what i used to love.

books left unread,
dust beginning to move in.

tv turned on,
my mind somewhere else.

video game systems untouched,
npcs wondering where their savior has gone.

guitars and piano sitting alone,
my fingers instead tapping on a phone.
Nov 2019 · 449
are you there, god?
kerri Nov 2019
are you there, god?
i’ve prayed to you for days,
i don’t think you’re listening,
because the worst has happened.

are you there, god?
funny how i only pray,
when my life is falling apart,
i expect you to fix it

are you there, god?
i’ve made you my scapegoat,
i don’t want to be at fault,
why’d you take him from me?
RIP Malfoy, my good boy. If there’s a heaven I hope you’re playing with as many strings as you like.
Nov 2019 · 159
you’re not done here
kerri Nov 2019
please don’t go,
i love you so,
you’re not done here,
that much i know.

don’t leave me alone
kerri Aug 2019
I've spent way too long biting my tongue and grinding my teeth,
Standing back and watching in defeat.
It's time I finally see the truth in your eyes.
You never loved me, not even once,
I finally realize.
Written around 2014.
Aug 2019 · 331
Honestly, You're Shitty
kerri Aug 2019
Why do you criticize me, dear one?
I get that we don't see eye to eye almost all the time,
But you're the closest thing I have to a friend.
Written around 2014.
Aug 2019 · 104
I Swear, I'm Not A Creep
kerri Aug 2019
I promise to love you 'til we're old and grey.
Would you promise to do the same?
Who am I kidding?
This is all just a dream.

You don't exist, completely unreal.
To be honest, I'm all alone, passed out,
face down in the snow.
My imagination swirls around in vicious circles.
I'll need a compass to find my sanity again.
Written around 2014.
Aug 2019 · 241
Sad Souls
kerri Aug 2019
They say a sad soul is always up past midnight.
It's 1:30 AM right now.
I'm still stuck in this perpetual cycle of overwhelming emotions,
None of which are easy for me to avoid and forget altogether.
Written around 2014.
Aug 2019 · 99
I'm At A Loss
kerri Aug 2019
You led me on.
You made me believe that I was worth something to you,
And then you go,
And take back all your words and feelings,
And say that it was all an accident.

I still see you in my dreams,
Every night,
Everyday,
Every waking second.
My thoughts are a prison,
And you can't escape.
Written around 2014.
Aug 2019 · 138
The Candle Pokemon
kerri Aug 2019
Alone -
The ghost candle Pokemon (Litwick);
Cold -
The abandoned house (in which he lived);
Dim -
The small fire on his head;
Afraid -
The trainers and their Pokemon;
Hopeless -
The candle Pokemon;

Curious -
The electric mouse Pokemon (Pikachu);
Creaky -
The stairs in the house;
Dusty -
Every inch of the house;
Hiding -
The candle Pokemon;
Friendly -
The mouse Pokemon;

Surrounded -
The candle Pokemon;
Warm -
The feeling of a quick friendship;
Bright -
The smiles on their faces;
Brave -
The mouse Pokemon;
Hopeful -
The candle Pokemon;
Written around 2014.
Aug 2019 · 92
I Am My Own Enemy
kerri Aug 2019
Sometimes I feel like a demon is possessing me;
The shivers coursing through my body;
My nerves feel like collapsing - they can't support the weight;
Using my body as a vessel - the demon lowers in;
After the cold shakes - I feel like I'm burning;
I can't do anything;
My mind is skewed;
My hand moves forward - out of my control;
It reaches towards a kitchen knife - latching on like its life is on the line;
Guides the knife to my wrist - I can't stop it;
It sinks in with all it's might;
My coal black eyes roll back in delight;
I feel the liquid trickle down in an odd euphoric way;
The demon is proud of the painting it made - done with its job;
He leaves my body scarred;
I look back in disgust and wish he never came;
Written around 2014.
Aug 2019 · 148
Oh Peter
kerri Aug 2019
Oh Peter;
I swore I would never grow up - fly to Neverland with you;
Now I'm 17;
I wish I kept my promise;

Oh Peter;
Children don't hate themselves as much as I;
Children don't get excited to drift off to sleep;
Children don't wonder whether tomorrow is their last;

Oh Peter;
Can you tell me when it all went wrong - when I stopped believing;
Perhaps Captain Hook was behind it;
I miss you, Peter;
Written around 2014.
Apr 2019 · 420
Sorry Baby
kerri Apr 2019
Be my Villanelle,
The assassin to my heart.
Stab me,
Once,
Twice,
Five ******* times.
Deeper,
Harder,
Show me your love.
I was watching Killing Eve and all I can think of is how hot Villainelle is.
kerri Apr 2019
When I saw you,
I saw someone that I fell in love with.

But then I look beneath the surface,
You are truly just the serpent,
Begging me to eat your forbidden fruit.
Mar 2019 · 418
p e r f e c t
kerri Mar 2019
my cold fingertips touching my new word,

perfect

still fresh,
raised from the skin,
a reminder of what i’m not,
what i wish i was,
what i could never be
Mar 2019 · 126
My Ghost Limb
kerri Mar 2019
i haven’t thought of my blade in a while
it used to be a part of me
my ghost limb, i’d joke to myself
always within arms length

i remember it’s resting place
the temptation to wake it up coursing through me
my arms throbbing
my thighs itching

the words i want to carve into myself running through my mind
homewrecker
false idol
flake

i need to feel something other than despair
Mar 2019 · 235
Not Enough Answers
kerri Mar 2019
please make the hurt stop
i was never yours
you were never mine
why is this pain here?
why doesn’t anything good ever stay?
when can i finally evaporate?
Mar 2019 · 159
Just Worse
kerri Mar 2019
“Depression is just a phase all teenagers go through!”
“You’ll grow out of it!”
“It gets better!”

When does it get better?
7 years running,
I’m still as miserable as ever.
But now I have more than depression.
Anxiety.
PTSD.
What more mental issues do I have to look forward to?
It’s never gotten better.
Just worse.
Mar 2019 · 290
Leave Me Alone
kerri Mar 2019
I long to taste the sunshine in my mouth again.
But seeing you had only brought me seething pain.
I’ll never forget what you have done to me.
Erase all of your messages and just leave me be.

It’s taking me too long to be okay.
Get out of my mailbox and just stay away.
Stop sending me your demons and your darkness.
Your disregard for feelings is too heartless.
Happy World Poetry Day!
Mar 2019 · 117
Untitled #16
kerri Mar 2019
I’m someone lost in thought,
Just waiting to finally be found
Jan 2019 · 198
n u m b
kerri Jan 2019
The pills meant to take away sadness should replace it with happiness.
The sadness is gone but there’s never enough happiness for everyone.
Jan 2019 · 99
You Were Too Hot
kerri Jan 2019
Every time we cuddled close,
One of us would overheat.
Was that our bodies realizing we weren’t meant to be?
kerri Jan 2019
i turn my pain into beautiful words and images.
why can’t i do the same with my happiness?
Jan 2019 · 153
Untitled #15
kerri Jan 2019
Here I am,
Trying to think of a poem to somehow ease my anxieties since you decided to remind me of your presence.
But you don’t deserve my words anymore.
Keep your insincere and selfish apology.
Leave me to rot.
Sep 2018 · 177
You Can Be Happy Alone
kerri Sep 2018
Everyone says the moon is lonely,
How lonely can she be?
She’s surrounded by the stars in the sky.

How lonely must the sun be?
She has no one but those wispy clouds.
But, oh, does she still shine.
Sep 2018 · 113
self reflection #6
kerri Sep 2018
that’s the thing about people,
you only know the side they choose to show you
they may have been good to you,
but they may have also done the worst to someone else
that’s life’s tragic irony
Sep 2018 · 129
At Least Pick Up Your Feet
kerri Sep 2018
For he did not notice my heart stuck to the bottom of his shoe,
He just kept on walking while I felt every step.
Sep 2018 · 206
self reflection #5
kerri Sep 2018
i am able to carve illustrious images with the words of my poems,
yet I’m speechless when it comes to you.
why may I be so inept at speaking simple thoughts to you?
Sep 2018 · 162
self reflection #4
kerri Sep 2018
we’ve been friends for years
slowly grew to be best friends
as I got worse, it became one sided
that was my own fault
you realized it
save us both and just leave
we are both so different now
Sep 2018 · 414
Find Me
kerri Sep 2018
Still, I don’t feel in control sometimes.
My brain is just on auto pilot while the real me resides somewhere

deep

d e e p

d  e  e  p

inside.
Just like that one episode of Spongebob where he only knew fine dining and breathing.
Sep 2018 · 127
Run Away From Your Issues
kerri Sep 2018
Stress?
Get on the treadmill, lazy.
Anxiety?
Get to sweating, lowlife.
Depressed?
Turn up the speed, slowpoke.

Avoid your other problems,
Work on your body.
It’s the literal least you can do.
Sep 2018 · 159
Untitled #14
kerri Sep 2018
Leaving memories
Everyone is gone
The scars of yesterday
Make me hurt
Even as the wind changes
Deciding on the end
In case you didn’t notice
Every first letter shows my truth
Sep 2018 · 668
Untitled #13
Sep 2018 · 96
Stay the Night
kerri Sep 2018
The moon has known me for my whole life
She has seen my best and worst nights
Yet she’s the only one that’s stayed
Sep 2018 · 236
Don’t Compare Tragedies
kerri Sep 2018
Don’t ever tell anyone, “Get over it. That’s nothing compared to what I’ve been through.”

Someone who drowns in a 7 foot pool is just as dead as someone who drowns in the endless ocean.
Sep 2018 · 164
Untitled #12
kerri Sep 2018
I don’t understand atheists.
How could you not believe in a higher power,
As we are all gods controlling the universes within us.
Sep 2018 · 86
Untitled #11
kerri Sep 2018
Everyone hangs their darkest tapestries deep within their mind
kerri Aug 2018
we broke up months ago

it was inevitable,
three adults with two babies?
two adults with serious mental issues?
it couldn’t have healthily worked out


we broke up months ago

you faked a suicide attempt for attention,
we were so ******* worried,
you were our foundation,
that should’ve been a sign


we broke up months ago

i did the best i could do,
my best didn’t live up to your standards,
so you left,
i was in charge of the house


we broke up months ago

i lived a few weeks in your shoes,
barely saw or talked to you,
i couldn’t handle that,
you wrecked me


we broke up months ago

i couldn’t do it all by myself especially in my condition,
I couldn’t live in your house without you there,
i didn’t think we’d end up hating each other,
but i left


we broke up months ago

i didn’t think we’d end up hating each other,
you badmouthed and lied about me,
completely disregarded everything i did for you,
all so you could keep your victim complex


i became free months ago
Aug 2018 · 121
My New Family
kerri Aug 2018
You reached out to me and made a huge change in my life.
You saved me from myself and are helping to make me better.
I dropped everything to be with you.
Both of you welcomed me with open arms and open hearts.
Now I have four loves.
Originally written in December 2017.
Jan 2018 · 188
I Am A Bad Person
kerri Jan 2018
Not at all comparable to ****** or Stalin by any means
But I truly am a horrible person

I murdered my wife

No bloodshed involved
I destroyed the person she used to be
And all because of me she wants to die
Catie, I'm sorry. I love you so much and I don't know why I'm like this. I want to quit, for you but I can't control it. I'm so so sorry.
Jan 2017 · 995
please don't ever leave me
kerri Jan 2017
my eyes shot open, bloodshot and wet
vaguely aware of my surroundings, I clutch the closest thing to me
I never once closed my eyes in fear I'd see everything again

I don't want to live in a world without you
especially if I'm the cause of you leaving
Inspired by a nightmare. Please don't come true.
Jan 2017 · 596
Untitled #10
kerri Jan 2017
it's a certainty that I won't live forever
but I want my words to be passed down for generations
Jan 2017 · 550
Untitled #9
kerri Jan 2017
we were stopped by security at the art museum
they accused me of stealing one of the masterpieces
one look at you and I knew I was guilty
Jan 2017 · 404
Untitled #8
kerri Jan 2017
before you look for love
look in the mirror
Jan 2017 · 2.0k
space welcomes you
kerri Jan 2017
drowned in moonlight.
the smell of cigarettes and cinnamon.
unapologetic,
yet warm and kind hearted.

the brightest star in the sky,
oh how she shines.
rip carrie fisher 1956-2016
Jan 2017 · 758
How Could You Be So Blind?
kerri Jan 2017
How could you be so blind?
I love you with all my heart.
Sometimes I feel like we should restart.
You're constantly on my mind.
You're falling behind.
You're like abstract art.
I shouldn't take your words apart.
I want us to be entertained.
Are you honestly straight?
I guess I have to wait.
Originally written in 2014.
Jan 2017 · 434
The First Of Many
kerri Jan 2017
You’ve never left my mind ever since the day,

You came into my life and took my breath away.

Always in my dreams I see your pretty face.

That is just something I could never erase.

So give me a chance and maybe you could see,

Exactly how much you mean to me.
Originally written in 2013.
kerri Jan 2017
I love to lend you my things
When you see them I know you think of me
Maybe you’ll even smile
That thought helps me get through the day
Until I finally see the way your mouth makes that crescent moon
Because I know you’re happy to see me too
But I’m sure you don’t get butterflies like me
Look beyond my cheshire grin
I think you’re really wonderful
Originally written in 2013.
Jan 2017 · 579
You Are Everywhere
kerri Jan 2017
You are everywhere.
My dreams consist of your beautiful skin.
My thoughts spiral with your words within.
My hellos are always meant for you.
My goodbyes are something I hate to do.
My skin is tainted with your DNA.
My fingertips search for you everyday.
You are everywhere.
Originally written in 2014.
Jan 2017 · 481
You Are Everything
kerri Jan 2017
You are the air I breathe,
The water I drink,
The dust that lingers,
The flowers that bloom,
But most of all,
You are the one for me.
Originally written in 2014.
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