Not everyone needs angels. But I know I need mine.
not everyone needs a savior. But all I have is mine.
Ill never force it on you. Or make you say its true.
Just don't ask me to explain myself. I owe nothing to you.
I believe in equal rights. I also go to church. I believe in contradiction or coincidence or faith.
I believe there are other ways to heaven then what's written on a page.

I want to create a home for me, a no mans land where we can be.
A place unhaunted by tragedies past. A place where the good fight, is the only that lasts. Where love trumps evil. And there is nothing to beware.
Where children don't go missing at bus stops. And cops don't come to late.
A place where we don't fear what our neighbors might hide.
A place where justice doesn't break stride.
Where evil has no where to run and no where to hide.

My sandman watches over me. Fills my dreams endlessly. Yes my sandman watches over me, adrift in absolvement, where gods can proudly be either here or all at once dead to me.
He is the master of my fate, and my lover too. He watches over me. As I'm watching over you.
All is endless mountains in the span of endless days. But only endless nights are what we praise.
They raise you from the dead. By my sandmans hand, and lay you to rest you poor broken man.
My sandmans got a plan that will put you to sleep.
A thousand miles of just counting sheep.
I'm ready for the dreamless deep.

But as I'm locked in the dark I I feel the warmth of your heart something that is keeping me free. From the dark prison I seek for eternity.
You just won't let me go oh no.
Your my sandman too. When I dream I dream of you.

Pale stars are staring back. Useless museless life, leaves in a thundercrack.
To live without love, is to be cleansed of fire twice. Still the sting of loss, may be fire by thrice.

You stole my heart from hell.
And then my head on high.
you took my body from the ocean before I could die.
My arms were taken from the blades that miss them so.
My feat from the shadows of were I stood below.
my soul was from the south were I was born they say.
But my home is in the north. Were I can see you everyday.

There is transparency in my soul.
A lesser half to my better whole.
A feeling to be absolute, uncompromised by the truth.
You can't take part of me away, what you see is what will stay.
Wear my thoughts on my chest. My heart does not lie in my breast.
A final sanctuary, while In the dark I'm playing pictionary.
Trying to figure this out.
Where i may find myself trying, isn't where I lay dyeing.

Poor souls through skipping stones at night. What they through away is there light.
to drugs and crime and shadows of the night.
There souls skip off the waters surface before disappearing into the void.
Not like candles in the wind. But like candles without oxygen.
Simply cease. Or you will cease. Then the world will cease with you.

I'm still afraid.
That maybe I have been unmade, like clay back to sand.
Shadows still holding my hands.
A focal point, a keystone. Like a god on a telephone.
How should my life be if only it was minus me?
What good has come from my being? what is it I'm not seeing?
Questions linger in my mind. I'm out of breath and out of time.

My memories wash into shore. Caring me out to see the sea that is me.
Maybe ill recreate myself, as something not so sweet this time.
The sharks below begin to swim. This time I know ill win.

Why do angels fall? What dreams gone by for days to never come.
What whispers of plans do men lay pray to.
Of shadows of death in all their years, washing into storm drains in the night.
What warning sirens still call.
what god and demons lay in these vast halls.
Like shallow stone, and brittle bones I quake awake to such an unholy house as this.
So heavy is the sweat of such thoughts.
Like gallons of night in a mind of day.
Do the angels sing of such things in all their sorrows?
Weep for brothers in the war that follows?
Like memories cast iron and leather. In their uniforms of god and county.
questions howl from dyeing lips as sand soaks up the soals into warmer places that can be no better then the hell of men.
do angels weep as they fall?

I lied about the person I am inside. I've done what you asked I've swallowed my pride.
I've done everything I can to hide.
But I can't get it out. And I can't hold it down.
like ***** and bile its not something that should stay for a while.
Its the monster inside of me. A Million sharks eating me. The glass in my throat cuts higher and higher. The breath of fire, a scream is all I desire.
I just want to live, and I don't want to lie.
Keep the violence contained, smother your flame. Choke it down and away.
Don't ask me to stay.
If I could I would be with you every day.
but duty calls.
The world needs a changing and my heart needs rearranging.
I just can't lie to the monster inside.

"Keep your rage in check.
your life's a ******* wreck .
all you do is ***** all day."
I don't hear a word you say. I have a temper yes its true. I try my best to keep it down it never shows when others are around. I take it mostly on myself. Then I paint the walls with my scars.
Still I could never be you. Hitting girls where the bruise won't show. Your no uncle of mine. Not by blood not by choice.
Drinking beers to hide my fears. The only thing to fear is me.
You can **** on me all you want.
spit and **** and call me names.
But touch my brother or sister still. Ill bring your world down in flames.
They are all I have, there is nothing left. No friends, no fears, no hope, no rest.
There is no ledge, no line in sight.
No moral code, no fair play, no even fight, or honor here.
Only the horror all should fear.

I've seen breath leave a body for the last time.
A miracle of a pill closing doors, never to be opened again.
A noose around my faith.
Russian roulette with my soul. With my name.
You think you understand, please don't let this be gods plan.
Not another wandering soul, not another soulless toll.
Not the price we paid not the crimes we made.
Not the guilt of joy. No survivors here.
Let me breath through my fear.

I am the devil hear me cry. I am the devil you wish me to die?
I am the devil I cannot lie.
I don't get goodbyes, no one misses me, no tears in their eyes.
I don't get to wonder why. Cause I'm the devil the prince of lies.
In shadows I make my home, my tomb is a bed of iron and stone. Watch me rise to my throne. I am more then blood. More then bone.
I am the devil, hell is my home. I live where demons roam, I make my bed with fire and ice. One or the other either will suffice.
And you can feel all my rage, flames that consume every age. I am the devil I make it so. The world will watch me grow. Like a flower in winter I only sleep now, I dream of days when the sun would shine. You with yours and me with mine.

I can see god playing games. Half the world in the rain. War, disease, famine; please don't let me name these pains.
And yet I see you standing there and the rain begins to leave the air. If god can make such beauty too.
So much evil can't be true.

Look at you, you seam pretty miserable too. What to do? Sky and light we don't enjoy we stay in darkness with our ****** toys.
Let the fire burn us down, no one needs to stick around. This house is ours and ours alone, no ones welcome because no ones home.
All I need is you to stay, roll in the ashes with me all day.
We will bath in our sorrow; smile for once before the morrow.
We have no need to explain pain, or the pleasure it brings to be alone in the rain, only thing we have to know is if the rain can wash us away.

You held light in your hands. Molded art from the sands, made beauty out of ash.
How did this come to pass.
Your inspired words don't amount to much ask the beasts and the birds. How they cringe away as if your darkness came to stay.
There are no shadows you can hide. We lightcasters can see inside.
Judge you for what you have done. Knife edge of the world son.
Your wickedness can't be undone. If you change a lifetime away maybe on that earth the light will find a way to let you stay.

I just envy you. I don't know why, its almost got nothing to do with you.
but deep inside I can see your light.
It seams so warm, on these lonely cold nights.
a passion for compassion, I wish I could share, instead of a mission of perdition not going anywhere.
you claim you "have no soul." But it seams to me, that through poetry your spirit flys free.
My cage is closed by choice only. I will condemn myself for all my days, fly away my dear. Please just leave me here.
Only one way I'm leaving this life. Fighting like a demon, lonely and cold in the night.
You can take your virtue and save yourself. Don't waste time on a broken toy on gods shelf.
When you see me again ill have a new cage. Won't be lonely or cold for the error of my ways.
If you visit me there with your light from above. Ill know the only regret I had was my envy of love.

Have you ever seen a rose? Why so blood red? Why so lovely? If only for a day?
Why does the skin flush the same way?
If only for a day? Why do we let our love slip away?

I wish you knew my poetry about you. Maybe then you would know me too.
Words are hard to write. How the memory tend to bite. I once lost one I loved. Not a breakup.
I don't know how to make this a poem.
Nothing seams authentic if I try.
Its so hard to be "just the boyfriend."
They lost a daughter. I need to grive but its all out of place.
They say each kind of loss is equal but different let me tell you how mine went:
This little voice inside you starts poking a finger at you telling you her suicide was your fault. Then it jabs harder and harder until you want to die.
you run the scenario every ******* way you can but it doesn't help.
Because you were the boyfriend. You had one ******* job and you ******* it up. Be there. And you know what you know you were there. You know you were. So why does it hurt so bad? Because you were the boyfriend. You had one ******* job and you ******* it up.
Repeat that last paragraph about 50,000 times. While everyone else moves on.
2 years of my life. Made worthless without
her.
supposedly it gets easier right? It doesn't. It gets more manageable? Someday I just can't manage it.
I know this is me ******* and flailing my arms but I feel this is a better place then any to get it out.

How do we sin what's the code its written in?
How to decode and how to judge? Does god only speak through you, my love?
I only wonder who will read me my rights one day? Why do I answer to you today?
If the final daylight is finally here. Don't break my faith.
It isn't you I fear.
Bullets bounce inside my skull. The echoing takes its toll. The voices so filled with Dred. You don't choses the life I've lead.
Only god can judge the dead.

My heart drums on. To this vengeful song.
I can feel it mutter words on the air.
yes I feel my drum but I won't beet my chest for this country son.
I can see only way to be free is to fight to the death for eternity. I'm still a slave, they still cling to their ways. Because god knows war pays.
Valhalla we fall for all our kings but Zeus killed them all while still we sing.
No Odin on high no glory in death. Heavy to hear at your last breath. Only devils will cause death.

All my life is leavening, is this love or am I still dreaming.
I'm a thousand miles up don't drop me now.
my heart was made of brass, one look at you and now its made of glass.
I feel the world crumble to all but sand, only with you will I stand.
I'm a thousand miles up don't drop me now. A thousand miles up please don't let me down.
if I'm to go let me make a sound. Give me the chance to hold my ground.
don't wake me up. Don't hold me up. Dont want to float way up, only to fall and die.
gravity don't set me free.
don't let my heart shatter into eternity.
Don't let me down. Don't let me down. Don't let me down. Down. Down.
Down.

Sunrise fleeting by.
Cherry blossoms falling by.
like stars in clear sky's.

"You should be proud."
"He gave his life."
"A hero to the end."
The end. Two little words.  What do they say? How many brothers in arms die every day?
I should be proud.
he gave his life.
but all I feel is hate.
18 years of fighting 100 more of dieing we will justify them all, while names are carved into walls.
he made a choice still as a teen. His life was cut clean before the war turned mean.
we fight for justice, then we fight for guns, we fight for peace, but doesn't everyone?
Our country is not free. We pay in blood.
If we were brave we wouldn't be fighting the world everyday.

If I'm fire your the sun. I'm the tides your the moonlight eyes reflecting on the shore.
If I'm stone your diamond clear as can be.
if I'm the wind and your a cloud away lets make it a rainy day.
our hurricane ruptures sound and splits the atoms of the ground.
Steel bends and nearly breaks, heavens above begin to quake. And still my body shakes.
all our love comes pouring down drowning logic where none was found. Its taken shape and is roaming free, its the beast inside of me, a hellish hound colliding into the roaring name, my love sings your name.

I don't think poetry is rhymes, more than words locked in time. More like shadow caught in glass, a mirror that reflects the soul.
all you are and all you hold, and everything you have sold.
As shadows roll from our hands the mirror can already see our plans. Servitude, solitude, tradition, honor. Label your code or drown it in water.
Let your mirror define your soul, let your words reverberate all through time and all through space.

There is a hole in my head. One of silence and of dread. A madness pulling me apart,
Oh look another hole in my heart.
Fight fight fight for your life. Show her that you are still alive. That something is beating in your chest. Your brain is gone let the madness in. Let love be the one to win.
Don't be a zombie so deprived, show her the reason your still alive. A part of the world she could not see. Let her be the reason, and wait and see.

I speak of legends almost a century old still today new myths must be told.
a man from the shadows who dressed in all black he springs from the shadows to start his attack.
a hero who flew as high as the sun as is the wish of the last of krypton.
A princess and warrior as fierce as her name a wondrous woman, equal in fame.
A benevolent king under the seas, he does what he likes, and does not look to please.
A frequent flyer who has reached the stars by his lanterns light fear flees the night.
A crimson hero who speeds bad guys away, he continues to move faster each day.
A robotic man with a heart and a brain, cybernetic only by name.
A sheep in wolf's clothing more human then all he manhunts monsters his home will not fall.
A small child who thunders his name all Olympus roars the same.
A archer of the brave and the bold, a bow and a hood, a story long told.
These our the myths of 2000 A.D. real or not they empower the free.

My animal has to much pride. Its hard to keep him inside. I have to stick to the code. Travel with him on the road. Need to keep my lion away.
He may consume me anyway. He is fire. His roaring is burning all choice away.
only one path to follow this day.
Pride or honor? What feeds you?

I see you everyday, the quite girl a million miles away. Head in the clouds or in a book.
I find myself stuck to your hook. And as you pull me to the shore I feel myself sway away.
I'm under your spell. Is this heaven or is it hell?  Your a million miles away. Yet I see you everyday.
A shooting star I cannot catch, the flickering light of my last match.
I can't tell if this is a broken romance. I know you can feel it too. Will our vindication please come through.
I don't want to be the one to utter: I missed you.

Critics are our best friends, they show us out flaws.
But all as its true "self critical" a nation cannot due.
No one truly sees mistakes we made.
how many innocents fear our blade.
We all pretend we have the right just look at our nations fights.
How many of my ancestors did you **** that day?
When "little boy" came out to play.
"We were saving lives."
The only price you had to pay: a million children and still this day.
And when Germany fell the day before. We packed our bags and walked away.
the Russians ***** them all that day.
We were not responsible. We were drinking ice tea and O.J.
don't pretend we were in the right. There are no morals in a fight.
Responsibility and honor. Was never practiced by the forefathers.
call me the anti Christ. Anti American is that nice?
I'm not I swear its true. So next time you ask me how I feel just know it was you who greased the wheel.
I can only tell you how I feel.

So sick of fighting the personal war. Like swimming never to see the shore. No I'm not *******, because I'm not four. I'm venting because my best friend is the door.
the one that's slammed in my face, every friend from every place. I don't exist there is no trace. Like no one loved me in the first place.
every connection I've ever had has always ended so ******* bad.
If this is my war god I understand. If not please lend a hand.
Maybe a love or just a friend someone to be there at the end. To say: "I knew this boy, he was ok."
If I die before I wake, I'd rather not be gods mistake.

The things I've seen what do they mean? Is it the universe making earth clean?
Is it just killing all that is right?
Is it time to surrender the fight?
What god or devil has willed us here? What nation and country must we now fear?
Is it a battle for my soul?
am I too ment to pays deaths lofty toll?
Is this all I can write? Songs of paranoia and spite?
Sometimes the questions are more important than the answers.

We try our best.
god willing he will understand the rest.

Heroes watched with empty eyes all thoughts they would leave behind. Are these answers or more questions? Angels leave with the chosen. Is even their system broken? why only I have awoken?
Who else is stranded down there?
****** broken secrets they share. Why am I feeling this isn't something I believe in?
Why should god judge a fish? Was it his wish that they could climb? Or perhaps learn how to fly?

Questions of death swirl around me.
Is she in hell?  Is that where ill be? I bear the name of crucifix. But hell and heaven do not mix.
Is this one of gods tricks?
ill take the weight of her sins if this is what it takes to win. Ill serve my code.
You can't keep her hostage from me. If she is not dancing free when I see the gates, ill tear em down with all of my hate. hell will not be her fate.
I love the lord but is it fair, the cross we all must bare?
I love god true. Please let me believe in you.

Violent ends to violent means. All turn into violent dreams.
enclose the walls, lock away, walk away, stay away all.
Leaves me alone. Piles of bones, past regrets. Ambulance dance to your romance.
no love is worth this trouble. Touch her again and ill burst your bubble. Cowards crawl here bullies too.
They will quake when they see what I do.
All the rage inside me warring consistently, eternally, externally, internally. Like a fraternity of sin. A battle that no one wins.
still I'm compelled to play. Keeps me alive for the coming day.
See how it is when you can't have your way. Someone's gonna make you pay. Maybe not me, but maybe someday.
Your head will hit the floor, have fun knocking on deaths door.

Look at me. What do you see? A boy crying out for sanctuary? I morn only myself for the life I lead.
see I ware a mask to shelter the past. To keep thoughts away who do not plan to stay. It might be lonely it might be sad, but when I meet my reflection I know ill be glad. Where ever she is, where ever she may be, I know she wares a mask just like me. Together we will chase the bad guys away. Ill see her scars and she will see mine. Below our skin our hearts will align. I can't see her face yet but I know she's out there. The girl who carried my heart all my life. Through heartache and hatred and anger and strife.
And I will thank her for saving much more than my life.

If fire and wire spin webs of desire, what then cuts shadow and fog away?
Neon streams of gold carve rivers through canyons of darkness, a newborn sun.
That's what you are, you illuminate the void no matter how far. How lucky we are to have one such as you, for life without light is a life without love. How many thankless nights you were here. Keeping watch over our fears seeing they don't grow out of control. Seeing your light is what kept me whole.

In the silent nights, its crawling beneath my skin. Eyes wide open I feel it there. I begin to wish in a quite prayer, the lion in my veins does not awake. For the sight of you, does make my heart shake.
drums beating in the wild, a million fireflies for you my love.
Let them keep your heart awake, let them still make the world quake.
Can you hear it roar? My pride on the hunt, blood is boiling hot as fire. Its crazy what you've inspired.

I can't stop thinking: is there someone out there? Someone who can see in the dark? I need a lifeline or the hint of a spark. I'm sick of being distressed. Lonely and love are brothers at best.
And all the while I still have a smile. A feeling I haven't had in a while I feel a change deep inside. Whatever it is, it gives me great pride.
When I meet her this time I won't hide away. Ill meet her head on, its a new day.

I commuted to school so when I say bus boy I really mean: fool.
the ride was over an hour away but I always tried to find a reason to stay. Then I met a girl with blackish brown hair. Her eyes gave off a ghostly stare. She saw me and all of my flaws.
I intently fell for all of hers too. I hate myself for letting her go. She sits on my friends page. She still doesn't know. I lost one love before. How could I be so stupid to let her out the door.
I miss her every day. I scream at the past to go away.
don't haunt me with that beautiful girl she was always to good for a guy like me. I know that I'm ******* but please understand. I am a ***** when love is in hand.

Words run rampant through my mind. Doing much more than just killing time.
I should be so tired it doesn't make sense.
the words are speaking to my demons right now. Stripping the walls of my soul.
Putting me on display. Its almost freeing I have to say.
To finally talk to my demons today. To speak not in words but through music and muse. To solve puzzles of heartache. In my mind I smell rain. Washing away all I'm about. The depression the anger, calming my fire. I wish I could scream how I felt but only in a language lost on all but me.

Poems carve story's, of what eyes can't see. Colors for blind men, following stars.
It opens up cages. Changes ash into rain.
Dissolves pain on the lips of the mind.
Describes thoughts through physical force.

You fall in love never meeting at all. As if a  ghost is loving on you. Stealing you kisses as your heart melts away. I can't name the times I've thought of a poet who I loved through her paintings printed in words. Its sensual not ***** and course like the act of ***, but rather like the beat of a drum, a butterfly flapping its wings through your mind.
Ill taste your heart. You can taste mine.

Its bitter and sweet. Its messy yet clean. Sacred and yet dark. It is the sun in the night. The moon of the day.
A silent prayer of the heart. We all wish to meet, one we could love.
One we would sacrifice sanity for. The one we would fight death himself for.
like a parchment of oil set fire in my chest. The heart doesn't always know best. But life was not made on logical steps. But on a reverse escalator we all must climb. Its echo is really gods slow grind. And if on the way we should pass by. Please just kiss me. I don't care why. Life without love is not living at all. I should rather die falling in a moment of grace. Connected to you, in this miserable place.

Crucifix is my name. Sounds odd even in my brain.
see when I was a boy, my dad was a fed every night I was scared he'd come home dead.
I spent my days creating heroic plays. Bat man and robin. Daredevil too. They were the playmates, I wanted to be. That is the real tragedy you see.
Born in this world away from the rest, my true character is beneath my chest. I named him crucifix you see. A dark crusader, and the Christian in me.
He's what I still wish I could be. If I could publish a book one day.
It should be his. And in some way star me.
I could be the hero I wish I could be.
yes I know that's not very humble of me. But there seams to be a human urge, to stand away from the rest. To be the star of the show.
Makes me wonder why we shun thoughts with celebrity glow.
Crucifix is me. He will always be.
This is just a little you need to know. Because that's where my name comes from on this page.

Why are my heroes less real than yours? I'm so **** sick of that stupid cliche "cops and soldiers, and firefighters up up and away." None of them were there for me in any way.
I don't give a crap if you won't follow or if I never see a "like" or a "favorite" again.
God almighty couldn't stop my pen.
So why are my heroes less real then yours?
Isn't god just as real as mine?
So shut the hell up and get back in line.
you know who was there the day I couldn't stand.
Not your heroes playing wars in the sand.
Not your cops, who were off killing kids.
No fire here, turn a deaf ear.
The ones who were there for me on that day. Was a hero in red with horns on his head. A man all in black who dressed like a bat. A solider that stood for what a nation aspires. And a immigrant from who knows where.
They taught me my morals from birth this I swear. They taught me right. They taught me wrong. I don't give a **** if you think I'm wrong.
I will write comics as bright as the sun. I will save worlds with words. I won't apologise, don't insult the fire in my eyes.
I've never questioned to what you aspired. I never met your heroes before but I respect the story's of yours in the war. Of cops who helped kids who didn't have a dime, of firefighters saving people in time.
so leave mine alone they saved plenty they have. Even if its only the life of a depressed lonely lad.

Its ok to fall.
But ask yourself why did you fail.
why are you not screaming?
your falling so fast.
Why close your eyes?
You can't change the past.
Why were you not screaming as they rolled her away?
Why were you silent on that day?
Is it the guilt that's making you fall?
Weighting you down?
your not wailing at all?
They all say its not your fault what happened that day.
But what's in your heart won't change as you say.
Plant your feet.
Hold the pain like a cross.
celebrate love.
Avenge all you lost.
And on your way you just may find, that you will grow stronger.
body and mind.
And the cross will be lifted.
oh you will still be attached.
But with honor restored.
Your pain will be past.
And maybe at last, you can see her again.
In a place of peace devoid of sin.

Her hair could catch fire to the wind.
Her emerald eyes gave her name away, made the earth stand still every day.
Her body was the sun, she said I was "the one" now I wish to god I wasn't because all that's good is gone.
she didn't leave me without trace of sin, my tears carry on the wind. She left a fire in my soul. Even if she's dead and gone she
didn't leave an empty hole. I can now stand atop the moral totem pole, and god can play his games. But I will only answer when she calls my name.

In my youth I was a poet. Words stitched worlds. Virtue was the currency, music was Devine. Fire ment light, not bullets in flight. And angels were children, not camo coated knights.
Slowly age comes, and more of death we fear. Devils from a dessert land turn castles into ash and sand.
A angel on its way. But its wings are clay.
Icarus did fall, and on the
way to earth. He spoke of another, a lifetime away. About what he all ways feared. You see Dante was right.there is no reason left to fight. And a quite voice whispers near about earth's heathens. "The earth is another form of hell and the angels act like demons.

I do not write words of passion or sorrow, I write them for thoughts who won't see tomorrow. For she was my angel who fell from grace, ice to my fire she left not a trace. I am Able, Electra, shadow and fire. I come for thoughts who evil inspires. The fire in my belly is quite literal. my friends are the 4, there are worse things then death, and worse things than war. 7 sins and 9 ways to hell. I will be there as well. I will becon you here as a angel on fire, I will carve a path in your blood to my little hell.  And we will rest here forever. Now isn't that swell.