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Sep 4 · 104
Untitled
Carolina Sep 4
I open my eyes in a daze,
I see the world in a haze.
I think, How much I dont want to get out of bed,
But I also know, I need to escape my head.

Im spiraling further down this black hole,
My mind is racing,
My chest heavy,
My heart aches.

I see blue, tears forming as they please.
I feel red, fists clench tight as can be.
I wish for black, Make all of this pain dissipate.

Fight.
Hide.
Dont cry.
Smile.

Daily things I need to say to myself.

Maybe today will be the best day of your life.
Tomorrow is a new day when that day fails to bring me joy.

Separation from reality sinks in.
Disassociation begins its nasty progress.
Mania takes over.
Memories slip, as I forget minutes,
       lead by hours,
       days,
       sometimes even weeks.

I need to escape my head.
Before I can leave this bed.
Sep 3 · 209
Quick Question
Carolina Sep 3
Can I quit this thing called
Life?
The last words I heard from my best friend before she passed away.
Aug 22 · 44
Light and death
Carolina Aug 22
There was a girl
So full of doom
So hurt by life

Tears ****** dry
Heart so shattered
Body so tired
Mind so fried.

She woke up by morning wondering why
She fell asleep every evening hoping for the last

Pain
Sorrow
Hatred
Sadness
Defeated by life

But life knew why

She walks into a room and sees a light.
The kind that lit her whole world
The darkness faded
The smiles grew
The laughs weren’t forced

The light grew brighter
As she grew closer
She knew at first sight
This was her why.

This light was why she woke up
Why she suffered
Why she cried
And why she hurt.

So when why shined
She could live
And smile

Her why became thank you in the morning
Her hopes became blessings by night
She found her why
her light  
Her reason.
Aug 22 · 251
Untitled Depression
Carolina Aug 22
Depression isn’t always crying
Depression isn’t always suicidal tendencies
Depression isn’t always sad music
Depression isn’t always black clothes
Depression isn’t always sleeping
Depression isn’t always over eating

Depression is sometimes built up laundry
Depression is sometimes fake smiles
Depression is sometimes forced laughter
Depression is sometimes ***** dishes
Depression is sometimes that little extra make
Depression is sometimes the little black dress
Depression is sometimes an overflowing trash can

Depression is sometimes in places you’d never guess it to be.
Aug 2 · 34
Moments
Carolina Aug 2
The ugliest moments are your strongest beauty.
The most beautiful moment can tell a thousand words.
The ugliest moments can bring pain and sorrow.
That pain and sorrow cant be covered up with lies
but only through telling your story.
A picture is worth a thousand words?
Well look into my eyes and see a whole novel of worth.
Aug 2 · 38
Stay Strong
Carolina Aug 2
Never let society know how anixious you truly are, what a wreck your soul is or what you’re truly thinking, they’ll only tear you down more. Just stand up and act as if you’re ok and pray that you actually will be. 🙏🏼
Aug 2 · 110
Love Is
Carolina Aug 2
Love is dead
Love so black
Love is hateful
Love so full of hurt
Love is pain
Love so full of regrets
Love is full of tears
Aug 2 · 125
And Forever
Carolina Aug 2
And
Forever I want to spend wrapped in each other's arms
and
forever I want to spend kissing each other's lips
And
forever I wish to spend in each other's hearts.
Feb 22 · 92
Sleep My Dove
Carolina Feb 22
As you sleep peacefully next to me
I silently hold in the tears
I lightly shake my foot
And my heart painfully breaks.

To be so lonely
When only inches away
You lay.

As our souls die
In the bed we lie
Our hearts break
And no longer we can take.

Our paths separate
Our love fades
Though it didn’t last long
The pain will linger for decades

You are my first true
I thought you were the one
But now I must let you fly
Like the Dove
You are my love.

Until we meet once more.
Feb 22 · 84
Never Had No-one
Carolina Feb 22
I never had no one that I could count on
I’d been let down so many times
I was tired of hurting
so tired of searching till
you walked into my life
it was a feeling I’d never known
for the first time I’d never felt alone. 💋❤️
Feb 22 · 66
Someone Who
Carolina Feb 22
You deserve someone who wants to give you a text back. Someone who wants you, only you, and makes you feel wanted. Someone who can’t help but message you first thing in the morning when the sun light is slow-dancing through the curtain, and they’re barely waking. Someone who wants to spend their drunken Friday nights with you, but also their lazy lemonade Sundays. Someone who holds their one-person umbrella right above you when it’s bucketing down, so that you’re sheltered, even if it means they get soaked through. You deserve someone who thinks of you, often. Someone who calls you on the phone at the end of a long day, because they want to hear the sound of your voice before they drift off into slumber. Someone who makes plans with you on a Tuesday evening, because the weekend is just too far away, and who cares if we have to go to work the next day. Someone who says definitely, not maybe, and follows through. You deserve to hear a song on the radio that makes you melt on the inside at the mere thought of this someone. Someone who could watch you sleeping for hours at a time, and be perfectly content in the grace and stillness of that moment. Someone who steals a cheeky kiss when you’re mid-sentence and least expecting to find their lips. Someone who will happily pig out on pizza with you in bed, and not judge the sweatpants & top knot look you’re sporting. Someone who is just that into you. You deserve someone who challenges the both of you constantly; someone who makes you strive to be better each day, because they’re trying to be better too. Someone you can count on to stick around when the **** hits the fan, which it will. Someone who chooses to lift you up, always. You deserve magic, and fireworks, and confetti canons exploding in your clear blue skies. You deserve someone who will always be careful with your heart, because they know just how fragile it already was before they held it. Someone who’s heart aches whenever yours does. Someone who wakes up next to you each day feeling like they’ve hit the jackpot, over and over again, and thinking what on earth did they do in their past life to be so **** lucky. You deserve someone’s complete attention. Someone who looks at you, and I mean really sees you, and all of the beauty you hold. You deserve to be someone’s first choice. Someone’s best friend. Someone’s partner in crime. Someone’s everything. You deserve to be loved; and loved extraordinarily well. And to be told that you are loved, every single day. I can’t wait to find that someone.
Feb 22 · 69
What If I Told You
Carolina Feb 22
What if I told you I loved you
Would you tell me you love me back
What if I told you I miss you
Would you tell me that you miss me back
What if I told you I need you
Would you tell me you need me too?
Feb 22 · 101
Fake
Carolina Feb 22
Fill the loneliness with drinks
Hide the pain with fake smiles
**** those tears back up
Push the depression away
It’s only temporary
It’s only right now.
Carolina Feb 22
To the girl in the crowd
We see you, but you are invisible.
We know you are there, but we don’t care.
We can hear you cry, we just don’t see why.

To the girl in the crowd
You say you’re ok, we say great!
You say things are fine, we think wonderful!
You smile at us and nod your head, we smile and say good job!

To the girl in the crowd
You stay strong, it’s what you’re told to do.
You act like nothings wrong, it’s what you have to do.
You seem to be holding your head high, as you’ve been programmed to do.

To that girl that was once in the crowd
We don’t see you anymore,
We don’t hear you anymore,
We don’t know why you aren’t there anymore.

To that girl that once was in the crowd.
To the one who kept saying she was fine.
To the girl who kept saying it was ok.
To the one who wore a fake smile.
The girl who would do anything to please a crowd of strangers.
To the one who stayed strong even when she was weak.
To the one who yelled so loud for help, yet her words were never                   heard.
To the one who gave up because she was tired...
of crying wolf.
I’m sorry for not seeing through the lies.
Feb 22 · 61
Within
Carolina Feb 22
I'm restless.
Things are calling me away.
My hair is being pulled by the stars again.
The gods above are calling my name.
The demons within are beggin to win.
The pain is pulling at my heart
And tearing it apart.
My screams are silenced by the pounding of my blood.
The darkness seems to creep.
The light seems to fade.
This weight I carry grows heavier.
Tears that fall are invisable.
The smile I wear is only fake.
There's only so much one girl can take.
Feb 22 · 205
Strength
Carolina Feb 22
The ugliest moments are your strongest beauty.
The most beautiful moment can tell a thousand words.
The ugliest moments can bring pain and sorrow.
That pain and sorrow cant be covered up with lies
but only through telling your story.
A picture is worth a thousand words?
Well look into my eyes and see a whole novel of worth.
Feb 22 · 91
Denial
Carolina Feb 22
They say the more you try to deny something
The stronger it becomes

Maybe its true
Because the more I try to deny it
The more I fall in love with you
Feb 22 · 162
Summertime Love
Carolina Feb 22
As the sun hides down behind the hills
As the moon appears in the sky,
As the water becomes cooler
And as the seas become calmer.
My heart races,
my thoughts are quickening,
as our touch becomes more sensual.
The summer is only beginning
and the passion is already burning. 💋
Feb 22 · 52
Stay Strong
Carolina Feb 22
Never let society know how anixious you truly are,
what a wreck your soul is
or what you’re truly thinking,
they’ll only tear you down more.

Just stand up
act as if you’re ok
& pray that you actually will be. 🙏🏼
Feb 22 · 30
Pleasing
Carolina Feb 22
Nothings ever enough to satisfy another’s soul of how you should live your life to please them.
You will never please anyone enough to the fullest of their lust
no matter if you fulfill all their dirtiest request.
You’ll never earn their love bending backwards at your hips to give their feet that butterfly kiss of needing love.
Till the day you die the leak in the corner of your eye
will continue if you chase to love those who don’t deserve your heart, until you cherish the beat of your drum in the cavity of your chest
no one will ever believe you are enough.  🕊
Feb 22 · 872
She is Her Own Poem
Carolina Feb 22
A blink of words
That can't be said
Or even be written
She is her own poem of thousand words


She is fierce and gentle
All at once
She's a song
An unending, Beautiful song.  


She is a sparkle
She is a shine
She is the only thing
That i want to call mine

She is my everyday
And my every night
She is every morning
And my every twilight


She is all i know
She is all i see
She is a sweet melody
She is my unmatching rhythm


She is the firefly dancing in the moonlight
Feb 22 · 108
Leaving
Carolina Feb 22
i stopped writing poems
because the only poems that were leaking off the pen
were always inked with traces of you
i couldn't bare it any more
not writing about you
especially now that you've taken it upon yourself to leave
drive miles and miles away never turning your head to check the rearview mirror
I can't stand the thought of you
out there alone
lonely, with shivers in your heart
with no one there to whisper in your ear
it will all be alright,
hey, i love you
the thought of your hands being cold at night and no one there
to hold them
makes me want to scream
but I know
I know to move forward you have to leave the past, in the past
&& somehow I became your past when I used to be your future
I don't recall when that happened
just promise me as you leave
you'll take one more look in your rearview
let me blow you a kiss and wave you off as you drive goodbye
one last act of love for my baby
let me let you leave
Feb 22 · 62
Suicide Notes
Carolina Feb 22
Suicide notes

Clothes have outgrown me many times over,
but this sadness never does.
One size.
fits all.
There should have been an obituary for cancer,  not you.
Wishing these slits within my skin could have been
replaced by a reality check from you, “You chose to exist.”

My name causes a sigh to escape from lips,
that do not feel like they belong to me,
the girl,
whose words always had to be special.

The schematics of hospitals like a birthmark in my brain,
born into sadness, a gut feeling as a child.
Never trusting time
due to what it delivers.

Death, being the only thing I desired.
But you, 
who I love,
endlessly-
robbed by it.
Whose ebb for life glowed so feverishly.
Stopped comparing depression to lace,
restricted the belief that suicide is poetic,
seeing things as they were.
More often than not, applauded for feeling emotions deeply.
Every second that dies, the shift of my heart quakes.

This world is not tender.

II. Sad.
I have known the flowers I wanted at my own premature funeral,
knowing how many bouquets honored you that day.

split open my veins like a dimension
reminiscent of days where I anticipated deathbeds.


My family wondered,
can we make it through another day?
Death scares me for what it has taken,
yet, I’m not afraid to die-
it’s all I deserve.
So I await the day pain erupts
from my throat,
acknowledging the days a soul
lived inside of my body-
footprints that walked,
belonging to me.

But I learned so well.
How to suffer with a smile,
dreading the beating of my heart
how unfair—
I don’t want to take these deep breaths
You deserved,while I masquerade as a member of the undead
Never outgrowing the desire to rot with the phantoms residing under my bed.


III. Jokes played by the universe.
punchlines delivered,
how could anyone to stand to be in the same room as myself?
How could anyone look over skyscrapers and sunsets,
and not be infatuated with concrete consuming them?
How I shared a sigh of relief during the thought-
of knowing people would thrive without me,
or the power of a belly laugh,
resembling a laugh track audience
drowning out 3 AM suicidal thoughts.
Feb 22 · 38
Love Is So....
Carolina Feb 22
Love is dead
Love so black
Love is hateful
Love so full of hurt
Love is pain
Love so full of regrets
Love is full of tears
Feb 22 · 155
And Forever
Carolina Feb 22
and
Forever I want to spend wrapped in each other's arms
and
forever I want to spend kissing each other's lips
and
forever I wish to spend in each other's hearts.
Feb 22 · 61
Morbid Love
Carolina Feb 22
Break my bones;
cut my throat.
Pull me open,
learn the ropes.

Breath me in;
taste the fear.
Shank my skin;
stand and cheer.

Kick my head;
let me bleed.
Unbolt my veins;
enjoy the read.

Gouge my eyes;
punch my face.
Wrap me up
in your embrace.
Feb 22 · 49
To My Next
Carolina Feb 22
I want you to know that I’m literally a mess. I have days where I get numb and am full of sadness, I want you to know that it just happens. My mind is chaotic and dark, it’s like a continuous thunderstorm inside there, it really isn’t the prettiest, but I promise if you see inside and take a seat it would be a better place. There are days where I’ll need constant reassurance because I won’t think I’m good enough for you, I’m insecure about that. I’ll always believe that you’ll leave because that has been instilled in my brain.
I’m sorry if it takes me a while to open up to you, I’m scared of letting people see me, see my soul and mind. Just please be patient with me. I have times where I get overwhelmed and I start to get anxious, just take my hand and say nothing, I just need to know you’re there. I always think of the worst possible outcome, it’s just how I’m wired. I’ll always expect you to get tired of me because I know I can be quite a bit to handle.
But even with all of that I’ll promise to love you with all my being, I promise that I’ll remember the small things such as why you love the smell of rain, why you can’t sleep at night, why you prefer talking to one parent over another. I’ll remember every little detail about you, and I’ll make sure you know you’re loved. Ill make you breakfast in bed, and watch the thunderstorm roll in on the front porch with you, even though I hate them. I’ll have your favorite flower as the center piece on the dinning room table. I’ll always remember your birthday, even though I hate mine. I’ll remember to text you and tell you I love you, tell you I’m thinking about you. I’ll take you on cute little adventures and enjoy every minute I have with you.
So whoever loves me next, I’m sorry for all the bad, but there’s so much good as well.
Feb 22 · 127
Numb
Carolina Feb 22
Completely shut down,
Shut your heart off,
Block the world out,
But stay strong.

Weakness won't work,
Sadness can't swallow you,
Tears will destroy you.

Walking alone in life
For almost two years
not a feeling to be given
your broken heart dropping pieces
with each step you take

a tear shred in the bathroom
in the back ally bar you hide yourself in
a dark cloud hovers over you
with each drug you take

Making horrible choices
seeing terrible faces
debating horrific scenarios
playing your past on repeat

Walking around like nothing is wrong
Wearing a smile that could light up the dark
making jokes like your life depends on it
Laughing a shallow and hollow chuckle

Sleeping with people
if you don't like them
they can't touch you
mentally
physically
or emotionally

                                                 numb.  
            numb.    
                       numb.
                                                    numb.
                                                                        numb.  
                            numb.

Cant feel anything
everything is falling apart.

Until one day I met your smile.
Feb 6 · 184
Heartbeat
Carolina Feb 6
I finally got to sleep,
Only to keep waking up.

Searching and feeling,
Only looking for your touch.

All I found,
Was an empty bed and a cold pillow.

Baby you've stolen my heart,
You've taken all of me.

Please don't break me,
Only help to make me.

You're all I want.
All I need.

You are the reason for my heart to beat.
Feb 6 · 53
Unpronounced Love
Carolina Feb 6
I love you so much.
Im sorry it doesn't always show.
Im sorry I can't always express it.
Believe me when I tell you,
Your touch means more to me,
Then you will ever know.
Apr 2019 · 907
Dancing Pleasures
Carolina Apr 2019
You make my Fingertips smile.
dancing across the softness of your body.
every dip and every curve.

you make my hair stand with the brush of your lips
the tender whispers of Lust.

Temptations of want,
screaming for the need.
legs shake.
breathing heavy.
heart racing.

Drips of wetness.  Moans of pleasure. gasps for air.

I fingertips dance
over each other’s lips down our collarbones

Lips graze each other’s *******.
Tongues surf hip bones.  
Mouth pecks the inside of thighs.

Hands roam to your arched back.
Your nails glide up mine.
Moans of pleasure release once more.

You make my fingertips dance
My fingertips smile.
Our fingertips search and roam waiting to be wrapped together like Twine.
Feb 2019 · 561
Addicted To You
Carolina Feb 2019
Once an addict, always an addict.
Not me, but in you.

Some thing’s will never change.
You’ll have need to chase that crave.

But my love will continue to glow.
Even after you have broken my heart.

My arms will forever stretch out.
To hold you in them.

But my head won’t let you win.
Let you control it anymore.

My heart won’t let you bruise it.
My soul won’t let you devour it any longer

But I will always love you.
But I will never love the addict you.
NEVER fall in love with an addict
Feb 2019 · 240
Dear Ex Love of My Life
Carolina Feb 2019
It’s scary and lonely
Its dark and twisty.
I keep looking at my phone hoping for a text,
but I’ve changed my phone number.
I keep opening my phone to look for a Snapchat
but Ive unfriended you.
I keep searching for you on Facebook
but I blocked.
Youre non existent
but I need you to be.
It’s silly.
I thought I wanted out in a way
cause you were turning into something I didn’t love
but now that I’m out....
Youre all I can think about.
And you’re all I want right now.
To hold me
tell me it’s going to be ok Baby Blue
as you grab my bottom lip and say you love my juicy lips
To kiss the pain away
That you’ve caused
Jan 2019 · 314
Today, I Am
Carolina Jan 2019
Today I stand and say enough,
Today I shine as bright as the sun,
Today I love myself mightier and stronger,
Today I shout to the skies ‘I can do it’
Today is my day!

I am beautiful!
I am strong!
I am enough!
Jan 2019 · 499
Cupid
Carolina Jan 2019
Your pillow smells
like I miss you.
Cupid tells me
to kiss you.
Harmony wants me to
sing to you.
Love flutters in me
like the wind in your hair.
Cupid’s arrow has
hit me hard.
Jan 2019 · 134
Unwanted
Carolina Jan 2019
How can you sleep,
next to someone who makes you feel unwanted?
Jan 2019 · 1.7k
Lonely
Carolina Jan 2019
You are not alone.
     Or are you?

You shouldnt be.
      This is suppose to be a partnership.

But I am so alone.
     But I am so lonely.
Jan 2019 · 360
Today
Carolina Jan 2019
Today.
Is going to be ok.
You are going to be ok.
I love you.
Today.
Jan 2019 · 716
Sleep My Dove
Carolina Jan 2019
As you sleep peacefully next to me
I silently hold in the tears
I lightly shake my foot
And my heart painfully breaks.

To be so lonely
When only inches away
You lay.

As our souls die
In the bed we lie
Our hearts break
And no longer we can take.

Our paths separate
Our love fades
Though it didn’t last long
The pain will linger for decades

You are my first true
I thought you were the one
But now I must let you fly
Like the Dove
You are my love.

Until we meet once more.
Jan 2019 · 210
Is This Love?
Carolina Jan 2019
You’re there for me,
Until I actually need you.
Then I’m an inconvenience,
You get so angry,
You get so short, shove it in my face and hate everything about it.
Is this what love is?
Is this what needing you is?
If so I never want to need you again.
Jan 2019 · 290
Enough
Carolina Jan 2019
Nothings ever enough to satisfy another's soul,
     of how you should live your life to please them.
You will never please anyone enough,
     to fulfill their lustful hunger
     even if you conquer their dirtiest request.
You'll never earn their love bending backwards,
    at your hips,
    to give their feet butterfly kisses,
    of needing love.
Until the day you die,
    the leak in the corners of you eye will continue,
    if you chose to love those who don't deserve your heart.
Until you cherish the drum that beats,
    in the cavity of your chest,
No one will ever believe you are enough,
    to give you the respect you deserve.
Jan 2019 · 216
Don't Tell Me
Carolina Jan 2019
I'm sorry, you feel, I dont care about your feelings,
But; how about the way you make me feel?

You make me feel so little and small.
You make me feel invisible.
When it comes to my mental health,
When it comes to my feelings.
Instead of asking how I feel,
You TELL me how I feel.

Don't tell me how I feel.
Don't tell me what I feel.
Don't tell me what I think.
Don't tell me What I see.

You are not in my head,
You do NOT know what runs through my mind,
What races I push to win,
What marathons I struggle to win;
Every day of my life.

Don't tell me when I listen, and when I don't.
Don't tell me when I love, and don't love.
Don't tell me when I try, and when I've given up.

I'm tired of people always telling me how I am and how to do it.
The last person I ever expected it from was you,
"THE ONE" "THE ONLY" "MY FOREVER"
But you do it to me the most,
You are the worst,

Don't tell me when I am in pain, or when "it's in my head"
Don't tell me when I am looking for attention,
Don't tell me when I'm not depressed,
Don't tell me when I'm happy or just "manic."

STOP TELLING ME WHAT IS GOING ON IN
MY HEAD!
MY HEART!
MY BODY!
and
MY SOUL!

You always inform me how you wish we had communication,
That doesn't consist of you telling me how I am feeling,
What I am feeling,
Or why I am feeling.
DON'T
TELL
ME
How I feel.
Carolina Jan 2019
You feel like I don't give a ****
You feel like I don't care
You think I don't hurt
You think I don't feel the pain
You think I don't cry at night
You don't think my heart isn't breaking
You don't think I'm not screaming
You don't think I'm not reaching out for you at night
You don't think I'm not falling apart

What you don't see is that behind that locked, bathroom door
My eyes leak, NO pour salty water, down my rosy cheeks.
Smearing the days makeup  I put on just for you.
They swell more then the time you wrapped string around your finger in 5th grade and watched it turned purple,
They burn, turn red, yet seem bluer then you could fathom.  
My heart shatters into the smallest pieces, a single grain of sand looks giant next to it.
My screams are so loud that the deaf can hear them, I fall to my knees reaching for you every night but its to late.

I told you to be patient
I told you be we would be fine
But you couldn't hold on
You couldn't wait anymore.
Your love was not as strong as you thought.
Your love was not as powerful as you wanted.
I was not who you wanted like you'd hoped.
Oct 2017 · 399
Just Know
Carolina Oct 2017
If you're going to fall in love with me, here are some of the things you should know beforehand. I cry often, Whether its during a movie a sad song on the radio or a regular sunday morning. Even if you dont see it I am crying.. Ill cry even when i think or talk about things that have hurt me even if they no longer are painful, i am afraid of being left and i am afraid of not being good enough. I will tell you the ways in which i hate myself and not believe you and a single word you say when you disagree  with each and every reason, you can tell me countless times over and over again that you you love me, but i will still be afraid of you leaving me. I have to expect the worst in things, cause i always end up with the worst. When I fall in love with you i will love each and every crack in your skin every freckle of light in your eyes and i will fall in love with with the way you look while you sleep and the way your mouth curves when you say my name, i can be difficult to love but for me,loving you will be easy. all i ask is that you dont give up on me and in return ill never give up on you i will love you with my entire heart. and if one day you decide to leave, i will still think highly of you. I will still remember the kind heart person you are, the smell of your hair on a warm summer night, the way you bite your lip before you kiss me and i will always continue to love you....
Jul 2017 · 655
You
Carolina Jul 2017
You
You make me laugh,
When I want to cry.

You make me live,
When I want to die.

You make me smile,
When I want to frown.

You turn my world upside down,
With every kiss we share.

You believe in me,
When no one else does

When you call my name,
I begin to blush.

When I'm with you,
Time seems to fly by so fast.

I'm afraid people will notice,
I need you so much.

I need you more,
Than you believe.

I love you,
More than you conceive.

I think about you,
Every night and day.

I only hope,
My life can stay this way.

I don't want it to be any other way,
Can't see it being any other way.
Jul 2017 · 243
Another Love Poem
Carolina Jul 2017
When I first met you
I felt like I had known you forever,
telling you my secrets
and what I didn't want ever.

You listened to me.
I bet you thought I'd never end.
Who would have thought
we would become more than just friends.

Over a period of time
I got to know you.
A women so caring and gentle
with a heart so true.

You've survived your life
with hurt and loneliness by your side.
With pain and sorrow lurking.

I told you I'd never leave
because of the feelings I have inside.
Sometimes I wonder
what I'd do if you were gone?

So I have decided
time answers all.
If it is meant to be,
time will remove the wall.

I love the way we are together.
You can always make me smile.
Will it ever really be forever?

I guess I will have to wait awhile.
Time will reveal what lies ahead,
but always remember
what I have said.

Meeting you has changed my life,
and I loving you has been a blessing.
The feelings I feel for you
I am never letting go.

Remember me always
and I will too.
I always think of
me and you.
Jul 2017 · 240
A Tale of 7 Years
Carolina Jul 2017
7 years ago I met a girl,
She was rough,
She was kind,
She was independent,
And she wasn't mine.

The moment I laid my eyes on you,
There was something in the way you move,
There was something in the way you talked,
There was something in the way you were,
There was something in the way you loved,
That made me want to be your something.

You were taken.
I was taken.
But that didn't stop the love from growing.
The heart wants what it wants.
And mine wanted you.

7 years ago all I could imagine
Is what it would be like being the girl in your bed,
Being the girl riding shotgun,
Fingers locked in with yours,
Wind blowing through our hair,
Seeing you sneak glances my direction as you drove,
Radio blasting on that sunny day.

But that was not how it was to happen.
Sometimes we can dream.
Sometimes we can hope.
Sometimes we can pray.
But not everything we want comes true.
7 years ago my heart never thought it would get what it desired.

Today I sit here in our bed writing this,
I sit in the passenger seat stealing glances at you,
that turn in to smiling stares,
I'm the one making you laugh,
I'm the one you call baby,
I'm the one you come home to at the end of a hard night at work,
I'm the one stealing kisses at red lights,
I'm the one holding your fragile heart,
Keeping it safe from pain,
I got the dream.

So let me tell you of a tale from 7 years ago,
That I NEVER thought would come true.
S.K.N.
Carolina Jul 2017
How do I mend a broken heart?
My entire world has fallen apart.
How do I find hope in a brand new day,
when the one I love has gone away?
My mind overflows with memories of you,
of all that we've shared, all that we knew.
I long for your touch and your warm embrace,
the look in your eyes, the smile on your face.
My dreams are filled with your soft gentle kiss,
I wake and cry for all that I miss.
How do I mend a broken heart,
when my one true love and I are apart?
My heart knows to love only you, it won't let go, what do I do?
Our moments together were precious and few,
but I cherished them all more than you knew.
I love you, my angel, and always will.
I loved you then and I love you still.
Dec 2016 · 1.3k
Christmas Wish
Carolina Dec 2016
The snow drifts from the roof tops,
Lights shine in the brisk evening.
Cheer is spread,
Joy follows behind the winter winds.

Letters are sent North to Saint Nick,
Children dream of what might come in the early morn,
Prayers are shared around the dinner table.
Memories are created to be never forgotten.
Stories being shared with those you love.

Tears fall upon my pillow,
While bellows of laughter echo,
From the other side of the bedroom door.
Life seems to be coming to a stop.

My only Christmas wish is to be by your side,
Surrounded by the most welcoming family,
The warmest love,
The family I always hoped to be apart of...
Yet it still isnt feeling like Christmas.

The joy, cheer and laughter being stolen away,
The pain hiding behind a fake smile..
The words echo "it could be worse."
If its true I dont want to know what it is.

My only prayer is that I wake up by your exciting yells.
All my letters to dear Saint Nick saying one thing.
"Please bring him home."
All go unanswered.

My only Christmas wish is to hear you say,
"Im home Mommy."
Hold you in my arms as we see what Santa has blessed you with.
Jul 2016 · 685
Relapse
Carolina Jul 2016
Today I woke up.
That's great right?
Then why do I feel like it was a mistake?
Today I didn't even want to get out of bed.
My 3 year old yelling at me for food,
all I could do was cry.
I woke up wanting to die.
I woke up hurting inside.
I woke up with tears in my eyes.
Today I slipped.
Its been four years
since the last time the blade sliced my skin
as easy as 1,2,3.
And today I threw it all away.
For what?
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