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Carolina Sep 2020
I open my eyes in a daze,
I see the world in a haze.
I think, How much I dont want to get out of bed,
But I also know, I need to escape my head.

Im spiraling further down this black hole,
My mind is racing,
My chest heavy,
My heart aches.

I see blue, tears forming as they please.
I feel red, fists clench tight as can be.
I wish for black, Make all of this pain dissipate.

Dont cry.

Daily things I need to say to myself.

Maybe today will be the best day of your life.
Tomorrow is a new day when that day fails to bring me joy.

Separation from reality sinks in.
Disassociation begins its nasty progress.
Mania takes over.
Memories slip, as I forget minutes,
       lead by hours,
       sometimes even weeks.

I need to escape my head.
Before I can leave this bed.
Carolina Sep 2020
Can I quit this thing called
The last words I heard from my best friend before she passed away.
Carolina Aug 2020
There was a girl
So full of doom
So hurt by life

Tears ****** dry
Heart so shattered
Body so tired
Mind so fried.

She woke up by morning wondering why
She fell asleep every evening hoping for the last

Defeated by life

But life knew why

She walks into a room and sees a light.
The kind that lit her whole world
The darkness faded
The smiles grew
The laughs weren’t forced

The light grew brighter
As she grew closer
She knew at first sight
This was her why.

This light was why she woke up
Why she suffered
Why she cried
And why she hurt.

So when why shined
She could live
And smile

Her why became thank you in the morning
Her hopes became blessings by night
She found her why
her light  
Her reason.
Carolina Aug 2020
Depression isn’t always crying
Depression isn’t always suicidal tendencies
Depression isn’t always sad music
Depression isn’t always black clothes
Depression isn’t always sleeping
Depression isn’t always over eating

Depression is sometimes built up laundry
Depression is sometimes fake smiles
Depression is sometimes forced laughter
Depression is sometimes ***** dishes
Depression is sometimes that little extra make
Depression is sometimes the little black dress
Depression is sometimes an overflowing trash can

Depression is sometimes in places you’d never guess it to be.
Carolina Aug 2020
The ugliest moments are your strongest beauty.
The most beautiful moment can tell a thousand words.
The ugliest moments can bring pain and sorrow.
That pain and sorrow cant be covered up with lies
but only through telling your story.
A picture is worth a thousand words?
Well look into my eyes and see a whole novel of worth.
Carolina Aug 2020
Never let society know how anixious you truly are, what a wreck your soul is or what you’re truly thinking, they’ll only tear you down more. Just stand up and act as if you’re ok and pray that you actually will be. 🙏🏼
Carolina Aug 2020
Love is dead
Love so black
Love is hateful
Love so full of hurt
Love is pain
Love so full of regrets
Love is full of tears
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