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Feb 2019 · 244
Dark Ink Feb 2019
Thank you for treating me the way you did. It showed me how I don’t want to be treated. It also showed me how I deserve to be treated. How everyone deserves to be treated.
I don’t deserve someone who will make fun out of my flaws and tell me how they are doing it out of love. I deserve someone who will make me feel good about myself. Someone who will love me for everything that I am and who won’t try to change me.
I don’t deserve to be with someone who makes me cry. I deserve someone who will wipe my tears away and make everything better.
Thank you for not being there when I needed you. You showed me that you are not there to stay. And I need the one who stays.
Thank you for humiliating me in front of my friends thank you for calling me words that no one in my life has ever called me that. I have never expected that from a gentleman which you called yourself.
Now I know that it was never my fault. You have unknowingly saved me from many years of pain.
I should also say ‘Thank you’ for not loving me. Because now I learned how to love myself.
And finally, thank you for being the worst thing that has ever happened to me. Now I know how to stand up for myself.
Thank you for showing me what a toxic relationship looks like so that I can never enter into one again. Thank you for shattering my heart to tiny bits, so that I could learn to pick all the broken pieces of me and love them anyway.
I admit I was ashamed for a very long time. I just couldn’t admit to myself or anyone that I allowed you to do what you did to me. I was ashamed to tell my friends and family that I am still in a relationship with you after everything you’ve put me through.
But luckily, not anymore.
Because you have saved me from me. When you broke the relationship, you did what I wished for but couldn’t do it. And yes, it hurt. But that pain is nothing compared to all the lessons I learned along the way.
I’ve turned the pain into power and I’ve become a better me.
Jul 2018 · 372
Dark Ink Jul 2018
Running, running
far away
Escaping dreams
of yesterday.
Faster, faster
there I go
Forgetting things
you'll never know.
Dying, dying
deep inside
Find a place
for me to hide.
Catching, catching
up with me
No more running
from reality.
Stopping, stopping
let me cry
Finding a way
to say GOOD BYE
May 2018 · 268
Walking away
Dark Ink May 2018
I'm tired of dreaming.
I'm through with trying.
Tired of living, yet scared of dying.
Maybe things are good for you,
but look at all that I've been through.
Look at all the pain I've won.
I bet you think that it's been fun.
You never thought I'd turn away.
You never believed you'd see this day.
Look again cuz here I go
leaving behind all I know.
Changing it all as I must do.
Not daring to stop and think things through.
Wanting to run as fast as I can,
not stopping until I understand.
Like why did I let things get this way?
Why didn't I leave yesterday?
How are things going to be,
since there is no more you and me.
May 2018 · 329
Unspoken and hearts broken
Dark Ink May 2018
What has happened is never spoken
And everything around me has been broken
There's no words, just silence.
Hate, but no violence
Sadness, without tears
Humans, without fears.

When will the ground break?
Where is the open gate?
Slowly, the darkness creeps
But still, no one weeps.
All are withering
Hearts are shriveling.
May 2018 · 262
Dark Ink May 2018
i can't remember when mirrors became a thing to fear;
something to avoid.

i can't remember when food became the enemy;
something to hate.

i can't remember when makeup became a mask;
something to be required.

i can't remember when my body became a bad thing;
or something to be ashamed of.
May 2018 · 12.2k
Let me apologize
Dark Ink May 2018
Let me apologize, to begin with because of my body type.
I will NEVER be good enough for anyone to date due to current 'hype.'
You know, the battle of 'bones' vs curves?
Just let me inflate myself to the  right number so I can properly serve
As the perfect specimen for your delicate eyes.
Obviously no one is good enough unless they've got decent thighs.

But just wait a ******* minute, because here I am again:
So let me apologize, to begin with, if I offend
You or your friends who think they're too good
To date someone size zero with some extra love under the hood.
How many times have I heard you exclaim in disgust
Of how large she is and how you'd drown in her,
If you even got near her? I saw you shaking in fear.
From your head to your toes, you were trembling dear.

See I'm told to eat less and maybe, just maybe
But if I was skinny, and let's tell the truth,
You'd be so disgusted by my looks .

I could eat a salad and still gain a pound ,
She could eat a salad and the crunch is the only sound
You hear a mile away and yet you would assume
That burgers and French fries is all that she consumed.
Do you ever stop to think, ladies and gents?
The true beauty of someone isn't based on the number on their pants.

So, let me apologize, to begin with,
If I bruise your massive ego,
But the way to tell if she's the perfect woman is not by your libido
I’ve always been insecure about my size and how I look. I still am ...  I don’t think I’ll ever be able to love myself .. but I’m trying to. It takes a lot of self love, confidence and courage to stand up to someone who calls you out.
Jul 2016 · 1.1k
No more running....
Dark Ink Jul 2016
Running, running
far away
Escaping dreams
of yesterday.
Faster, faster
there I go
Forgetting things
you'll never know.
Dying, dying
deep inside
Find a place
for me to hide.
Catching, catching
up with me
No more running
from reality.
Stopping, stopping
let me cry
Finding a way
to say to say
May 2016 · 3.5k
Perennial Rape
Dark Ink May 2016
You tore her apart for your own joy,

Her soul lies vacant and fragile,

Yet she faces the axe for getting *****,

As no case ,can be filed.

You still roam around and live your life,

While she carries a perennial pain,

Who gave you the right to commit such a heinous crime,

And leave her miserably insane."

Unfortunately the past cannot be altered
but we can certainly look for a brighter future.

"I hope one day,  there will be no stare,

I hope one day ,no one will care,

Whether the fabric ,is short or long,

Visible garments ...
Whether a mini skirt ,or a cloak,

Clothes aren't right or wrong,

It's your mind ,facing a deadlock.

I hope one day , no news of ****

I hope one day,no obscene tape

Is it so hard to achieve

A world  free of harassment and eve- tease?"
When you hear the word "****," what do you think of ?? Let me know .. Do comment Down below:)
May 2016 · 566
The 5 W's
Dark Ink May 2016
Who are you?
Why are you here ??
Where will you be in the next 10 years
When will you get there ?
What is your purpose ?

If you worry, these things will turn into burdens
But if you hold on to them in the back of your mind
All the answers will come in time.
Look to the future and not to the past ...
Always stand strong ❤️
May 2016 · 548
Dark Ink May 2016
Life is a mansion,
Which stands on the pillars of "HOPE"
Remember, "hope" is an enumeration
Of man's soul,
Not the purpose of the almighty....
Apr 2016 · 454
Its nothing at all ....
Dark Ink Apr 2016
Death is nothing at all.
It does not count.
I have only slipped away into the next room.
Nothing has happened.

Everything remains exactly as it was.
I am I, and you are you,
and the old life that we lived so fondly together is untouched, unchanged.
Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.

Call me by the old familiar name.
Speak of me in the easy way which you always used.
Put no difference into your tone.
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.

Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes that we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was.
Let it be spoken without an effort, without the ghost of a shadow upon it.

Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same as it ever was.
There is absolute and unbroken continuity.
What is this death but a negligible accident?

Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am but waiting for you, for an interval,
somewhere very near,
just round the corner.

All is well.
Nothing is hurt; nothing is lost.
One brief moment and all will be as it was before.
How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting when we meet again!!!
Death strikes us ... We don't even see it coming...
Apr 2016 · 1.1k
When we sleep .....
Dark Ink Apr 2016
Like a resort as you drift off at sleep,

another world is waiting for you to keep.

Where is your body when you are in your dream,

Is everything really what it seems. 

In dreams, what you want comes true, 

Just let your dreams take you. 

Into an imaginary land,
where you are the author,

Where things have no meaning,

And you have no feeling.

Where your thoughts all drift together.....

Just don't get caught in your dreams forever
Apr 2016 · 482
Yet no one even wonders....
Dark Ink Apr 2016
What happens to the little girl

who sits and wonders why? 

What happens to the little girl

who now can't even cry?

She destroys herself and those around

in careless acts of blunders. 

She hopes and waits for signs of help

yet no one even wonders.

6 months plod by tiredly,

no fear or hope for change. 

The little girl who once felt good

now feels but feelings strange. 

Her innocence was often lost 
yet always
remained her respect.

Until that fateful night of hers

that none would ever suspect.....
Apr 2016 · 333
Happy Pill
Dark Ink Apr 2016
I love the way you tell me that I'm beautiful,
and the way you make me laugh like no one else.
I love the way you move the hair away from my eyes,
and then kiss me on my face.
I love the way when you put your hands around my waist
I love the way you'd sing to me at random moments,
and smile.
I love the way you leave the smell of your cologne on my clothes after we hug..
I love the way you speak your mind and tell me about your opinions.
I love the way you're not afraid to show your feelings.
I love the way you call me in the middle of the day just to say " I LOVE YOU."
and say how much you miss me.
I love the way you whisper into my ear,
the way your voice sounds so close to me.
it feels like I'm dreaming.
I love the way you do all of these and the fact that you're not ashamed to do it.
I love the way you treat me,
and I'm glad to be yours...
You give me many reasons to smile baby ... And you mean everything to me ... Never lose your spark.. :) ❤️
Apr 2016 · 459
Dark Ink Apr 2016
Throw away all my sorrows and mourning,
In to the thick darkness of the night,
Claim back the long lost smile,
Back into my face at early dawn,

I've been in this custody for years,
Break the walls and enter my heart.
Untie the chains,
Hold my hand and let me out.

Release my soul held deep within...
I'm ready now;
Take my hand,
And let love begin
Apr 2016 · 544
Dark Ink Apr 2016
I still wonder why
      I have to keep fighting this war....
           If it never ends ....

Why do i keep holding on
     Should i just keep on chasing pavements
        Even if it leads nowhere.....
Apr 2016 · 381
Dark Ink Apr 2016
The different tricks....
When you've had enough of it
There's all these different way
To end the misery each day....

The desiccated dreams,
inhaling the fire,
drinking pain. You have
come full circle.

Can you describe the
journey of dead souls ?
Without tears ? Are you
going to reject the end ?
Mar 2016 · 831
Circle of life
Dark Ink Mar 2016
Life is a carousel......
Always going forward, never going back.

Existence is a hard thing to keep
when you stop trying. 

To live a life, you must want to live. 

To want to live you must find a way.

When all hope is lost you must stand tall. 

When all others retreat you must prevail.

You are the conscious inside your head.

You create your own destiny. 

Life is a very hard thing to keep 

when your life does not always
go the way you plan. 

Fight for your life and the right
to keep dreaming.
If you feel you were gifted,
share your gift. 
If you feel
you were cursed, fix it.
As you get older, your life
becomes a challenge. 

Who are you? 

What do you want in life? 

What will you be? 

What is your purpose in life? 

If you worry, these things
will turn into burdens. 

But if you hold on to them
in the back of your mind,

all of the answers will come in time. 

Life is a carousel,
always going forward never going back. 

Look to the future not to the past.....
In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on....
Mar 2016 · 751
A Bed of Clouds
Dark Ink Mar 2016
I sleep in the clouds, dream in the sky,

I'll keep dreaming as life passes me by,

I think my dreams keep me sane,

I dream of happiness, a life without pain,

some people say I'm stuck in this place,

and I'll never go anywhere,
but in my dreams
I've already been there,

I know some day
I'll have to wake up,
I feel the real world is more like a nightmare,

I'm safe in my closed eye wonderland,

this poem goes to all the dreamers that understand,

no matter what they say...

keep your dreams but
don't dream your life away.....
To all the dreamers out there ... This is for you...
Mar 2016 · 875
Not a day goes by ...
Dark Ink Mar 2016
Not a day goes by,
I don't wish you know how much
I love you.

Not a day goes by,
I don't wish better for you.

My love is like a river, it is like a fountain;
it is longing and flowing for you.
No matter what hard times we've been through,

My love has kept on growing for you.

I hope you can see,
that it is you I need.

I know we are bound for a higher life,

where we won't bare anymore strife.

Yet, in the still of this life;
not a day goes by,
I'm not praying for you,

and still loving you.....
Mar 2016 · 348
Roses .....
Dark Ink Mar 2016
Together, we all live different lives,

Whether we are doctors, students, or parents,

That can still make up a continuous field of roses.  
A field of roses, shining yellow, red, white and pink Which subtly grow in the midst of time,

And day by day, their heads successfully rise,

slowly reaching the clear blue sky.

But sometimes, we may experience some terrible times,

That perhaps are caused by downfalls from the past, 
Each downfall is like a falling petal.

Petal after Petal, a person we once loved,
whether it was a friend or a parent,

Suddenly leaves our precious hearts,

Which result in a permanent painful scar.

But as this growing pain slowly enters

And gradually controls every root of our bodies,

We'll discover, in the end, that our shadow still remains.

As our body, our stem still stands alone,

Weak, thirsty, gradually falling into the warm earth's soil. 

And just as there were times that put us
in a state of loneliness and despair,

New lives begin to blossom
as the pollen's internal strength paint them gold.

Life, it is not something of fear nor shame
but something that will continuously fall and rise.

So, let the lives be remarkable, radiant roses,

Roses that sparkle in the fields forever.
Mar 2016 · 751
Family is everything!!
Dark Ink Mar 2016
Family is,
heaven sent from our father above,
bonded by the power of love.
No matter what family has each others back,
when push comes to shove.

Family is,
understanding, never demanding,
all for one and one for all,
I will never leave you alone standing.

Family is,
one in itself, my love is your love,
your pain is my pain, my wealth is your wealth,
I promise to never leave you by yourself.

Family is,
the strongest team, the strongest unit;
if love could be visualized,
family would be the blue print.

Family is,
forgiveness and patience,
it's sweeter than the sweetest fragrance,
the power of family is a reflection of God's compassion and magnificence.

Family is,
never turning our back, and never shames,
lend my helping hand and not a finger pointing the blame.

No matter what, a family bond can never be broken,
even through a nuclear explosion,
if one of us lives we all live.
Forever to eternity, we are family,
my father, my mother, my sisters and me.
Mar 2016 · 707
Dark Ink Mar 2016
They say that times were tough then

That money was very tight

But I remember my childhood

And I know that can't be right

Mom would cook our dinner

Dad came home at five
We were all sitting at the table

Waiting for him to arrive

We wouldn't eat from a microwave

Or a restaurant down the street

We all ate Mom's home cooking

And boy that can't be beat

We didn't eat in front of the TV

Or with a phone in our hand

We weren't plugged into a stereo
bopping to the latest band

We would all sit at the table

Everyone in their place

There were never any surprises

We recognized every face

Brothers to the left of me
Sisters to the right

That's the way we ate dinner

Every single night

We laughed we joked we talked we ate

We were a family don't you see

Though some may have been raised poor

You can see it wasn't me

We ate collards we ate biscuits

We ate fatback and blackeyed peas

We said yes sir we said no sir

We said thank you ma'am and please

So when you talk of family life

Or how it used to be

Though many had more money

None were as rich as me
Mar 2016 · 810
Thoughts of you
Dark Ink Mar 2016
Memories of another time still come

To me and fill my mind, with thoughts.  
Of you when you were young.
I lie awake
'Till the morning sun comes creeping
Through my window shade,
as I dwell upon
 Mistakes I've made.
What I would give to

Go back in time and feel your little

Hand in mine.
To cherish each fast and

Fleeting day. To hold you close and kiss

Away, each pain that life will have in

Store and try to give you so much more.

You are part and will always be, imbedded in the soul of me.
While I'm
Here, I want to say, that I've loved you

Each and every day and when my time on

Earth is gone.

The privilege was mine to have been your Mom.
This poem was written by my mother on the eve of my 18th . She wrote it to me in a small note enclosed with an envelope and put it inside my school bag and once i got to school i read it and so did my friends..... We all cried together....
Mar 2016 · 596
Dark Ink Mar 2016
Welcome to my broken home,
There's nobody here I'm all alone.

The walls they scream of things once said,
They constantly echo in my head.

The door in front it never closes as people never stay,
The hatred and guilt always drives them away.

So welcome to my broken home I don't have anything to offer you,
No love, no face I'm out of place and there's not much I can do.

I sit in here and do nothing at all,
But stare at these empty walls.

It portrays the life of hurt and hate,
My destiny, my anguish, my solitaire fate.

It's like a projection screen playing a never ending show,
It's like it's in slow motion, so painfully slow.

So run now from my broken home, keep the door open as you leave,
Because being trapped in here I still need air to breathe.

Tell now about my broken home of all things heard and said,
Because even as a woman that house still lives in my head.

That little girl trapped inside, well that little girl is me,
Even though I'm older now the horrible thoughts won't me be.
Mar 2016 · 11.9k
The dark prayer
Dark Ink Mar 2016
When the day is done for the infantry,
they bow their heads and take a knee,
they clasp their hands and start to pray,
that they may live another day,
should a challenge for them ever arise,
they would proudly meet it with open eyes,
soldiers fight with the honor and pride,
moving any and all fear to the side,
a soldier's family and freedom is his core,
for wanting to ever fight a war.
Mar 2016 · 762
Because of you !!
Dark Ink Mar 2016
Life is so meaningful,
With their gentle human qualities
I have learned to cultivate tolerance
I am spiritually awakened

A little friendship to cheer me up
A little smile to brighten my day
Hope to strengthen me
And love to be eternally with in me

Love is a blessing that cannot convey
A true blessing from above
But let me give thanks to all,
The hearts that are true and pure.
family is everything....
Mar 2016 · 291
Dark Ink Mar 2016
Lost my self trying to please everyone else....
        Now im losing everyone else trying
          to find myself ......
Why am i even trying to please others ....
Mar 2016 · 406
Eternal blaze
Dark Ink Mar 2016
I want to thank you for a few things.
Thank you for letting me love you and allowing me into your life for as long as you did.
Thank you for loving me back and showing me that there are people who like me.
Thank you for caring as much as you did and for listening to everything I complained/talked about. And thank you for sharing your secrets with me and letting me share mine with you.
I would never share them with anyone.
I’m not going to do anything to hurt you or make you look bad.

I harbor no resentment towards you.
I only have love and I wish the best things in the world for you.
At the same time, I selfishly wish things could have ended on a different note.
I am not bitter nor angry.
I find no fault in the decision you made because
I can only see beautiful things when
I look at you and only think beautiful thoughts about you and for you.  
I know we won’t have time to talk in person,
so you can read this on your own.
Also, if I said this stuff in person
I would probably cry,
like I always do........
Mar 2016 · 591
Dark Ink Mar 2016
Is there a genuine,
              Me ....
        Under all these masks ????.....
Mar 2016 · 432
Dark Ink Mar 2016
H.. O .. P .. E..
      HOLD ON , PAIN ENDS .........
Hope was left behind as pandora closed the box.. Without letting it fly away ... So that mankind may have something to look up to ...
Mar 2016 · 2.0k
Dark Ink Mar 2016
Above all , be the heroine of your life , not the victim....
Girl power
Mar 2016 · 693
Why me lord?
Dark Ink Mar 2016
Why can't we not change the past
Or write the wrongs that forever last
Painful memories cloud my mind
My soul deteriorating with darkness
And locked behind this foggy glare

I know there's a melody inside me
I know I'm strong
I'll find power as each day I survive.

Courage & peace
Peace & support
Support & encouragement
Encouragement & love
Love & you
The times i lose hope i pray to God
Mar 2016 · 883
Dark Ink Mar 2016
The say your bad
Or perhaps your mad
Or at least you
Should stay undercover
Your mind must be bare!
If you would dare
To think you can love
More than one lover
Mar 2016 · 646
Shadowed in her destiny
Dark Ink Mar 2016
Night after night she prowls along
Along the midnights streets
Her mayhem mind torturing her
Crouched along the highway
The lady awaits her fate
The crumpled rupees in her hand,
She stood up and ruffled her black dress
And got in to the darkness.
The meeting was done in seconds
Then the door was shut at her
It's positive they said
***** of mind and innocence lost!
"I have aids" she exclaimed,
And suddenly the world seemed to look down on her.
"It was a mistake " she screamed,
But it was too late, it can't be cured.
Painful memories clouded her mind
They called her bad
They called her mad
The truth haunted her destiny
As her body grew weak day by day
Her dignity was mocked toyed at,
It was abused, compromised, lowered and bad mouthed.
The she thought," i have the power today to reset my boundaries, restore my image, start fresh and rebuild what had happened to me"

— The End —