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Dark Ink Feb 15
Thank you for treating me the way you did. It showed me how I don’t want to be treated. It also showed me how I deserve to be treated. How everyone deserves to be treated.
I don’t deserve someone who will make fun out of my flaws and tell me how they are doing it out of love. I deserve someone who will make me feel good about myself. Someone who will love me for everything that I am and who won’t try to change me.
I don’t deserve to be with someone who makes me cry. I deserve someone who will wipe my tears away and make everything better.
Thank you for not being there when I needed you. You showed me that you are not there to stay. And I need the one who stays.
Thank you for humiliating me in front of my friends thank you for calling me words that no one in my life has ever called me that. I have never expected that from a gentleman which you called yourself.
Now I know that it was never my fault. You have unknowingly saved me from many years of pain.
I should also say ‘Thank you’ for not loving me. Because now I learned how to love myself.
And finally, thank you for being the worst thing that has ever happened to me. Now I know how to stand up for myself.
Thank you for showing me what a toxic relationship looks like so that I can never enter into one again. Thank you for shattering my heart to tiny bits, so that I could learn to pick all the broken pieces of me and love them anyway.
I admit I was ashamed for a very long time. I just couldn’t admit to myself or anyone that I allowed you to do what you did to me. I was ashamed to tell my friends and family that I am still in a relationship with you after everything you’ve put me through.
But luckily, not anymore.
Because you have saved me from me. When you broke the relationship, you did what I wished for but couldn’t do it. And yes, it hurt. But that pain is nothing compared to all the lessons I learned along the way.
I’ve turned the pain into power and I’ve become a better me.
Dark Ink Jul 2018
Running, running
far away
Escaping dreams
of yesterday.
Faster, faster
there I go
Forgetting things
you'll never know.
Dying, dying
deep inside
Find a place
for me to hide.
Catching, catching
up with me
No more running
from reality.
Stopping, stopping
let me cry
Finding a way
to say GOOD BYE
Dark Ink May 2018
I'm tired of dreaming.
I'm through with trying.
Tired of living, yet scared of dying.
Maybe things are good for you,
but look at all that I've been through.
Look at all the pain I've won.
I bet you think that it's been fun.
You never thought I'd turn away.
You never believed you'd see this day.
Look again cuz here I go
leaving behind all I know.
Changing it all as I must do.
Not daring to stop and think things through.
Wanting to run as fast as I can,
not stopping until I understand.
Like why did I let things get this way?
Why didn't I leave yesterday?
How are things going to be,
since there is no more you and me.
Dark Ink May 2018
What has happened is never spoken
And everything around me has been broken
There's no words, just silence.
Hate, but no violence
Sadness, without tears
Humans, without fears.

When will the ground break?
Where is the open gate?
Slowly, the darkness creeps
But still, no one weeps.
All are withering
Hearts are shriveling.
Dark Ink May 2018
i can't remember when mirrors became a thing to fear;
something to avoid.

i can't remember when food became the enemy;
something to hate.

i can't remember when makeup became a mask;
something to be required.

i can't remember when my body became a bad thing;
or something to be ashamed of.
Dark Ink May 2018
Let me apologize, to begin with because of my body type.
I will NEVER be good enough for anyone to date due to current 'hype.'
You know, the battle of 'bones' vs curves?
Just let me inflate myself to the  right number so I can properly serve
As the perfect specimen for your delicate eyes.
Obviously no one is good enough unless they've got decent thighs.

But just wait a ******* minute, because here I am again:
So let me apologize, to begin with, if I offend
You or your friends who think they're too good
To date someone size zero with some extra love under the hood.
How many times have I heard you exclaim in disgust
Of how large she is and how you'd drown in her,
If you even got near her? I saw you shaking in fear.
From your head to your toes, you were trembling dear.

See I'm told to eat less and maybe, just maybe
But if I was skinny, and let's tell the truth,
You'd be so disgusted by my looks .

I could eat a salad and still gain a pound ,
She could eat a salad and the crunch is the only sound
You hear a mile away and yet you would assume
That burgers and French fries is all that she consumed.
Do you ever stop to think, ladies and gents?
The true beauty of someone isn't based on the number on their pants.

So, let me apologize, to begin with,
If I bruise your massive ego,
But the way to tell if she's the perfect woman is not by your libido
I’ve always been insecure about my size and how I look. I still am ...  I don’t think I’ll ever be able to love myself .. but I’m trying to. It takes a lot of self love, confidence and courage to stand up to someone who calls you out.
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