the communication was lost between us
like a broken radio connection
the static was deafening
your voice
faded
into
nothing

i designed this crown
so i could wear it proud
i walk these streets like royalty
baby,
don't you know i'm queen ?

you are an illicit secret
a deviant desire
a fantasy kept
in the very far back recess of my mind

last night my imagination
wreaked havoc
went wild
my fingers went exploring
while i thought of you and i

you are an illicit secret
my most ****** entourage
this fantasy is my weakness
somehow you're the one in charge

I waited, waited, waited
Until I realised
You were already there

This secret is hidden
Under piles of ***** laundry
Only you and I
Know where it is kept

sometimes,
i dream long enough
to imagine another life
when you and i
were on fire
where i was your queen
where you filled my lungs with laughter

sometimes,
i dream long enough
that an imprint of your memory
is left on my retina
so all i can see is the king of comedy
who held my heart
in another life

She was a woman,
Inside a woman,
Inside a woman

The female definition of sisterhood
Emanating from her,
An aura of arduous existence
Of suffrage meeting resistance

She was bent over in lamentable labour
Bearing the weight of the world on her shoulders
Forgetting what men had tried to tell her
That she was an object to be sold and squandered

Through ever contentious contraction
She cried out in excruciating passion
But by the end of it all
She held in her hands
A creation of truth
That no man
Could truly understand

Ten years passed by in a moment
First Kiss.
The House We Bought.
Wedding Day Bliss.
I never dreamt that it would be like this

The days mould into one
I guess that's the science of love
All I see ahead of me is us

Ten years have passed by
I am still your wife
I will follow you into eternal life

my identity is printed
in the groove of your spine
your identity
is
entwined
with

mine.

he thought i was his *****
because that is what he called me

he thought i was his property
because he branded me with his bruises

if i am covered in seminal filth
is that all that i am?

if all i've known is abusive language
is that all i will ever understand?

he thought i was his *****
he thought my body was a market stall

that he could rob daily
no medals for bravery

but one day i changed the score
i ran out the broken screen door

into a world that does not label me
by who i was before

this healing heart
will win this gender war

I danced before you
In my naked youth
My hips moved in mysterious motion
The music played so ominous
Carrying out the back door

I made my way toward you
Until we were flesh on flesh
The curve of my thigh
Matched the shape of your palm
While that eerie song ended
I became yours

i observe my naked body in the mirror
scanning the war torn battle ground
that i once despised but have grown to love

my fingers trace the bumps and scars
there is familiarity in the exploration
i linger at the grooves in my wrist
it reminds me of a recording
that i have inked into my skin

i observe my naked body in the mirror
the woman in the reflection holds no fear
she has learnt to read the signs of beauty
the signs that are etched all over this Australian body

i observe my naked body in the mirror
this is the body of a warrior
thirty one years of growth
thirty one years of truth
i observe my naked body in the mirror
i appreciate the view

you will always be here
like the moon that hovers
stoically independent

you will always be here
unequivocally present
luminously magnificent

you will always be here
like a God that loves abundantly
forever omnipresent

i may no longer see you
but you will always be here

she was an Australian beauty
with a European name
her accent was her birth right
but her olive complexion gave her away

he was her Australian saviour
he gave her a brand new name
her accent pronounces it clearly
but her complexion still gives her away

European blood
surges through her Australian veins
her accent was her birth right
her olive complexion gave her away

my father taught me honesty
i was raised to stand up for truth
integrity is the most righteous tool
deception is only for fools
but he forgot to teach me
that
the world is made up of liars
who do not follow these rules

the madness crept into your reality
clouding the truth
corrupting your soul
stripping your innocence
the madness took over your reality
now your identity is blurred
and who you are
is not
who you were.

I reflect upon your words
I reflect upon the absence of mine

I hear the hurt between the verbs
The cruelty layered upon the consonants

All I see is hate created from pain
All I see is toxic anger submerged in *******

I reflect upon your words
I reflect upon the absence of mine

I was going to bear witness
To your torturous sickness

But my faith is my deliverance and
My God taught me forgiveness.

i dreamt of you last night
you of little existence
your tiny body moved within me
an umbilicus of desperate hope
a miracle of revelation
i dreamt of you last night

i pray it was a premonition

I never knew that
Laughter
Could be a
Bad thing.

Until I was the target of the joke.

You were gone
So the puzzle was incomplete
But you never knew that
You were the missing piece

I saw you in my dream
You were,
Scared.
Vulnerable.
Weak.

The roles, they were reversed.
While I tortured you
(My Sweet Revenge)
You never said a word.

He held my hand,
At the edge of nineteen

His body was,
The Antedote
To all my scary dreams

Of,

Abandonment. Possession. Unreliability.

He held my hand,
Unlocked the cage,
Out spilled my darkest secrets
Until I was standing in freedom
And I could finally breathe.

I went down with the Titanic.
I never said a word.
I was too enthralled with the stunning beauty of that magnificent iceberg.
Sometimes tragedy and beauty can mean the same thing.

What is the colour of love?
What is the price of pain?
The answer lay within the blood
Pumping through his veins

Once there was a woman who had a mental illness.

Everyone supported her.

Her husband completely understood her and never yelled at her when she forget her medication or had an expected attack of the giggles.

Her family checked in every day.

The medical staff in her community always did their job in a friendly and professional manner, never making any mistakes.

All of the community were accepting and understanding and every employer she ever had were educated on mental illness and full of empathy.

This is how bad this woman's mental illness actually was.

She actually believed this delusion.

She was the most talented poet.
She wrote with such emotion.
Except no one liked poetry.

Stop does not mean stop.
Stop means that I'll pretend I didn't hear it.

No does not mean no.
No means that I will have to make you say yes.

Accountability means I will hide all the evidence, conveniently leaving out anything incriminating

Stop does not mean stop.
It is a guideline for how far I will go.

Pain comes in many colours,
Red.
Blue.
Green.

Red, the blood on the pavement
Blue, the deep well of depression
Green, the envy of knowing that I will never have what you have

Pain comes in many colours,
And you are colour blind.

she killed herself.
and no one cared.
except for the kind stranger at the bus stop that she saw every friday.
but no one cared about that stranger.
so the stranger killed herself too.
and thus,
society was created.

Why tell you the truth
When you only want lies?
Why waste integrity on you,
When you'll only throw it in the fire?

This poet paints a pristine picture
Using unique written words

A kaleidoscopic kinship with kindness
An avalanche of artistry
Astoundingly absurd

This poet plays a pantomime of pathological perfection
This pristine painted picture was the sum of all her worth

Let's not pretend that this is more than what it really is

I don't need you to love me so don't get any ideas

I don't need you to call me or to pretend that you will

Let's not fool ourselves with love when that wasn't in the deal

Let's not pretend that this is more than what it really is

Leave your heart outside the door and slip into this skin

I bottled your tears
Crystalline,
Luminous,
I kept it on a shelf for display
So strange,
How something so beautifully pure
Could have been borne from pain

I say goodbye to you
Because I love you the most
So much so that I hate to hold you down

I say goodbye to you
Because you shine so bright
That if I keep looking at you I'll go blind

I say goodbye to you
Because you were not meant to be
Settled down and *******
In a cage next to me

So do enjoy your freedom
Bask in your elusive independence
And please do not forget
The one who let you go

Drop me in the middle of your war
I will not fear
I will not cry
My peaceful love will keep me alive

I won't say goodbye to you
Because I can't

You are part of my chemical make up

We are eternally bonded

I won't say goodbye to you

Instead I will make room for you

I am not ashamed of you

I won't let the stigma win

Bipolar, come and take a seat

We might as well be friends

High school is five years of nothing.

By nothing, I mean it means NOTHING.

As soon as you get out you transform into something else

By the time the reunions come around you do not recognise yourself

Who you were then will cease to exist

All of it rendered insignificant

I'm telling you friend,

High school is five years of NOTHING.

I will not play this game
I forfeit
I give up
In done
You think that means you've won

But how can you win if you're holding a gun?

I would rather die kind
Than live in your evil kingdom

You wanted me as your Queen
But dear that would be sacrificial slaughter

I would rather die kind
Than play your evil game

You are not my King
My King is pure and brave
And you...
You are just a tragic waste

NO means NO means NO means NO

I am truth
Truth, you'll never know

The one who turns a NO to YES
To suit them best
To rob what isn't theirs

The one who turns a NO to YES
Will never feel Truth's caress

Will never feel the raw beauty
Of living with integrity

NO means NO means NO means NO

We both know it's time for you to go.

I tried running away from God
Eternity is ******* scary

Except my mission was fruitless,
Proven pointless

When I realised that He was within me.

I swallowed your deceit
I spat it straight out
Some things are too ugly to be digested

I looked at the regurgitation
Stunned at the magnificence
Of what lay before me

A scarlet rose flourished in the sun
Nothing like how it had begun

What had been deceit
Was now beautiful truth
My vessel of integrity
Turned your lies into purity

I left it there, on display
Solid proof that things can change

Honesty comes in the form of two
Almond shaped eyes

In their deep blue ocean gaze
There is no room for lies

The storyteller who owns them
Is a man so integral and wise

I came to him looking for truth,

I left satisfied.

I stare out across the Indian Ocean
I see God's face amongst the waves

My darling, He looks a lot like you.

An interestingly ironic image, considering you don't believe.
That's just what I see.

i dream of a world where **** no longer exists.

i dream of a world of respect.
where I no longer have to defend myself...
or look over my shoulder late at night when I'm getting in my car

i dream of a world where I can truly be taken seriously,

when I state the truth that I am in deed a feminist...
and no in deed I do not hate men.

i dream of the time when **** no longer exists.

when I can forget what you did.
just erase your entire memory with a gigantic bottle of mental white-out

blot out your entire existence so you are unable to hurt anyone ever again.

i dream of a world where **** no longer exists.

i brace for this brand new day and I dare to dream...

In the whole time I experienced you

It all comes down to this main truth

Fourteen-year-old girls

Should not feel the hell

That comes from getting in that car

Driven by that older man

Who knew better than to let it get that far


So then years later,

That girl can hate

Every single man

Who didn’t treat her right


It’s a painful sight

A beautiful woman,

Losing her pride

After accepting that ride

It was the biggest mistake of her life.



Let’s talk about the truth

I meant little if nothing to you


That was back then

But now

To me, you’re just a memory

I barely reminisce

To you, I don’t even exist



Let’s face the facts head on

The only reason that I haven’t

Cut your memory completely off


Is because

Some mistakes are just so huge

And my epic life mistake was you

You’re in a microscopic part of my mind

So I remember. Not. To. Repeat. You.



And to teach my future daughters

As well as women of today

To accept nothing less but kindness and love

As the only way



So if you must open his car door

At least enter guarded

At least enter strong

Wear your pride wherever you stride

And remember you are a woman…



So, you can never be wrong.

****.
You're already here and I need more time
Time, time
Time to write a very good alibi

Why?
Because you'd more than *****
Up the truth, if you heard it

Baby!

The pet name that you called me years ago
Now it's what I call the ugly thing in my belly

Ohh...
Every single pair of eyes linger on my face now
My face, my body, my name
And now you are here way too early
Or maybe too late

Yes.
I know you never knew the truth
I know I never told you
Perhaps I believed I was bullet proof
Or really I just didn't want to cause you hassle

No.
I don't hate or blame or want to **** you
I just don't want you here
You make it hard for me to dissapear
You also make it hard for me to fool myself

Empty.
The bottle, the threats, the excuses
And the supply of fluids that we used
To support my tears

What?
Don't ask me what we are doing
The last time I checked it was "I" not "We"
And my face wasn't pretty
It was *****

****.
You're actually here and you're actually not going
It looks like you really want answers
Answers of the substantial kind
I'd better brew a kettle of peppermint tea

I pondered the thought of insanity
Taking the time to weigh it all up
Feeling the pressure of all consequence
Should I slip up

I began to sift through old recordings
Stashed away in the hope of amnesia
I dusted them off, anticipating
But ready to begin

For in those broken hours formed a lady
Designed by an autistic artist
Those flaws seemed so beautifully *****
Bringing flowers and gifts to her room

I recognised her face in the photograph
Much more dusty than ever before
For the life of me I could not remember her name
She was gorgeous

I endeavoured to find out her meaning
Her purpose, her lifestyle, her goals
In reality, she never knew me
Oh, but I knew her!

Scratching below layer upon layer
Stumbling numb towards truth
Wanting so much, all those flowers
And gifts in her room

For in those broken hours formed a lady
A woman romantically perfumed
Weaving in and out of insanity
Yet, always in truth

The universe is crazy and I am in love with her
She has the kind of beauty that comes in with the rain

I cannot comprehend death
I cannot comprehend ending
Maybe because we never really end at all

People are so crazy
We just don't make sense
We lie and cheat and steal and ******
Yet we still have this mysterious innocence

I don't even know if things like "good" and "bad" exist
I do know that most of us are trying our best

The universe is crazy and I am in in love with her
She has the kind of beauty that is truly insane

I get scared of death

So I decided to write it down

So maybe I could move on

Bold and brave and strong



I can't comprehend death

It's too hard to understand

The unknown is like the dark

A primal fear to man



So here I mention death

Put it in front of the mirror

Hold it up to the light

So we can see it a little clearer



Maybe death is just like life

Perhaps just another version

Maybe it's a circle instead of a line

Maybe it doesn't even matter



I get scared of death

So I decided to write it down

And now I'm moving on

Bold and brave and strong