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Mar 2020 · 134
Salute
Asominate Mar 2020
Hellos are goodbyes waiting to be said
It's very nice to meet you,
Voices of my head.
Mar 2020 · 147
Prestigitation
Asominate Mar 2020
Let us make sweet music
During out act
We'll carry on
Until the end...
For the peoples
Not an innuendo in any way whatsoever.
Mar 2020 · 105
Thinking with Words Part 6
Asominate Mar 2020
I put my all my heart into my writing
As a result, am I left heartless?
Mar 2020 · 116
Thinking with Words Part 5
Asominate Mar 2020
I suppose as long as you embrace the death of your sanity,
It never truly dies.
Mar 2020 · 197
To Nightmares with Love
Asominate Mar 2020
Finders keepers,
Losers weepers.
You're the prey
And I'm the seeker.

Hunt you down,
Leave you in pieces,
Hold me back
I really need this!
Me, mentally preparing for my nightmares like
Mar 2020 · 163
Broken Down
Asominate Mar 2020
Silence
I sit and stare in silence
The ticking of the clock
Won't stop
As everything falls apart through the cracks in my hands

Violent,
I'm thinking thoughts so violent
I'll give myself the things I deserve,
The nerve
They have to let it come to this, they still don't understand
Mar 2020 · 192
Frontiers of the Conscious
Asominate Mar 2020
Pondering upon an existence
Because I exist I can ponder
What if I uploaded my conciousness
And somehow synced ourselves, I wonder
Mar 2020 · 194
Sentience Part 32 (Forget)
Asominate Mar 2020
The story behind
True correctness distorted
Exploited for self benefits
And so society was sorted
An altered right
Makes wrong correct
What is underneath
Sometimes they forget
Mar 2020 · 106
Something's Not Right
Asominate Mar 2020
Cleansing before creation
A cycled called out in song
How am I, well, all is well
Except for all the wrong
Mar 2020 · 328
Disabled
Asominate Mar 2020
Flesh sees flesh
Spirit sees spirit
It takes one to see one
But no one's there to hear it
Asominate Mar 2020
What are you fighting for
The mirrors are all shattered
The keepers lie there sleeping
Exotic seekers butchered
Debauchery gets you nowhere
Tears in light flows down glistening
Sanity all spent with discord to spare
The deaf are better at listening
Mar 2020 · 136
Sentience Part 30 (One)
Asominate Mar 2020
How can this be
It has always been
All that you see
Is all to be seen
Nothing is new
Under the sun
All separates you see
Always add up to one
Mar 2020 · 145
Sentience Part 29 (Start)
Asominate Mar 2020
Start from scratch
Blood's meant for bleeding
A fresh start tainted
By a stain for meaning
Beholded beauty
In imperfections, an art
Built up through destruction
We end without a start
Mar 2020 · 199
She Didn't End
Asominate Mar 2020
Abstract extremities
Indirect, flawed with hidden meaning
The author is dead
That's what they said
She's put away,
Still screaming
To this day
Mar 2020 · 1.5k
Death by Design
Asominate Mar 2020
Dissected lines
Intersection
A special selection
Death by design
Mar 2020 · 289
Turn Back Now
Feb 2020 · 2.2k
Trending
Asominate Feb 2020
Fingers dipped in purple powders
Fushia gold my makeup
Black skintight latex suit with neon circles
How my outfit is made up

Three rings around my waist
Intersecting, two vertical, one on the horizon
The circles glow with noble gases
Radioactive, after all, I'm an alien

Perfect spheres and concentric rings
Are trending, so I have read
I balance on stacked circles, my six inch latex heels
And floating circles surround the pair of buns on my head

My bones poke through my latex,
Anorexia won't stop my passions
I may not be the body type you want, but I'm the body type you have
And I still enjoy the fashions
Feb 2020 · 398
Porcelain Dolls
Asominate Feb 2020
Porcelain begins to shatter
These dolls we all know to well
Looking past beyond the laughter
There is a story to tell:
Up on our shelves you eye us everyday
You pull us down, you want to play
Our bodies hit the floor
In pieces, you don't want us anymore

Porcelain put back together
You aren't done playing yet
Our skins stained, our clothes rags, tattered
We still can never forget:
In a corner catching dust
You never ever cleaned us up
We're left alone lying, traumatized
Unwanted in your hungry eyes

Porcelain isn't the better
Our shards, they cut your hand
And your feet, you should've never
Played rough, do you understand?
Fragile, you never handled us with care
Our bodies break, our clothes you tear
Now you're the one who bleeding
We're thrown away, defeated
Feb 2020 · 76
Hurt People
Asominate Feb 2020
Hurt people hurt people
So don't hurt people, hurt people
Else these hurt people would hurt people, too
Just like how hurt people hurt you.
It's a cycle, really. Break it.
Feb 2020 · 120
A Very Special Someone
Asominate Feb 2020
Beauty's in the eye of the beholder
When I behold you
What I see's beauty.

Already told you
How much you mean
To me.

I'll tell you over and over again
Until eternity ends
You're so much more
Than a very close friend.
I wish I could share this wonderful person I found with everyone, the happiness they bring... I'm wishing you better, Sol.
Feb 2020 · 874
A Truly Dramatic Death
Asominate Feb 2020
Honey to my eyes,
Liquor for the soul.
The chicken soup has lost its taste,
The peas porridge lies cold.
Skin stretched across the ribcage,
Brains rid of juices; lotion:
Twas a death so dramatic
She died in slow motion.
Dam you, anorexia!
Feb 2020 · 1.3k
Sherman
Asominate Feb 2020
On the night
At the very early morn
The moon had already risen
Just as a broken gaseous no more sleeps
Somehow, somewhere, a beast trapped, released
No longer is it trapped to the confines of its prison

Eyes that survey
Salivating, wanting,
A prompt to its hunger
Its nostril’s pleasure: my scents
Under a crack of dim, creaming crescent
The uncensored scene of my slumber

The conditions, possibilities, a setting made right for the empty
A glimmer of hope or just the fangs bared for the bark or biting
Once started, the urge, its selfishness to one else, it’ll never lend
The craving has begun; the questionable realism of this game of pretend
A shadowy figure, upon a pair of feet; yours, no, mine, it lurks in the dark

Countless moments to lose the count of, time is held still
Longer and longer, in continuous moments that shows no signs of breaking
Once I had the warming presence of the body of mine besides me, only to be replaced
“A story’s not to be finished without the satisfaction it gives,” is all I find
All we have seen, the sweet smell of lovely dreams still dancing feverously like visions of my mind
Darkness lies beside me, wanting you, cannot be unseen: the ****** features being without a face

What’s gotten is what’s to be deserved: deliberations of the disease that festers the fabric of my thoughts, I pay no mind
At this point, my reality sinks in, run-on sentences roles across the virtual plane called your screen.
Unable to break away from the unrecognizable creature that lies before me, I lose contact with the senses, my nerves have no feeling
The beauty of it all is the art, the science, I love the way how it consumes me, growing over me, light glinting off its fangs still bared
I remember now, I know it, we’ve talked about it before, it calls itself Sherman, our sleep paralysis demon, still I feel the need to be scared
My lovely dreams, he feeds off of, the hunger within, in him, is never satisfied, no matter how many times he tried, he didn’t stop, just enough to make me void, light blinds me, my soul is fleeing.

On the morn,
At the surpassed night
My heartbeat pends
Eternally I sleep, at peace
Those who know me weep
For my plotless reality never ends
Was for Halloween, but better late than never?
Feb 2020 · 94
Forlorn
Asominate Feb 2020
Well, that's for
Another and more
Her ways
Should be ignored
What are we people for?
Feb 2020 · 143
It Feels Like
Asominate Feb 2020
I am my own destruction

I look and see
There's nothing left be saved

I'm not contaminated with Disease
I am the Disease

I'm falling atrapped to my own sanity

This is what I've become

**** it with fire!

Let me give myself the things I deserve

Make it stop

It's not hard to breathe...
I'm fine
What are you taking about? I'm totally fine!
Feb 2020 · 246
Is It So Bad?
Asominate Feb 2020
Here I am
I'll shut me down
With a head slam
I cannot frown
I can't remember what you just said
How can a concussion be so bad?

Here I am
I'll shut me down with a yes ma'am
If I'm good enough
Soon I'll be dead
How can my concussions be so bad?
Feb 2020 · 300
These Never Mattered
Asominate Feb 2020
My judgement clouded by undeserved happiness
Slavery's my choice, it's my fault
Isn't it always?

I can't remember anymore,
Can't afford to pay attention
Why were you even born?

A slave's only purpose is to please
When will I ever learn?
I'm so happy right now

Just make it stop
Just make me stop
My heart, still ever beating

The skin I'm in
Emotional numbness, stoic?
My heart is bleeding

They claim to care
They claim to love
They claim to do better

Alone I waste away
New year, new day
Same them, same old problems

I've read between the lines
I'm not a part of the bigger pictures
I paint them a personality of perfection, because I never mattered

Their words and actions
Contrary, opposed within the same person
I'm about to fall apart again

What must I be
A slave, a friend
A daughter, I see no difference

I feel the hurts
It all gets worse
No wonder I'm so worthless

Priority
Certainly not me
It's my fault, I'm to blame

Why were you ever born?
I'm torn
Between letting you live to hurt or die to burn

So many ways to rid the world of you
A lifelong inconvenience
For some reason everyone's shattered?

Regrets and tears
They grieve, they cheer
But why? I never mattered
Sarcasm, sarcasm, see me screaming: I wear a smile, my heart is bleeding...
Asominate Feb 2020
The thing about dead people
Is when they die, they never ask if I want to join!
Feb 2020 · 181
Of Us
Asominate Feb 2020
Crack, there goes our glowsticks
As a unit, we light the lanterns
One day I hope that we'll go up in flames
Feb 2020 · 1.2k
Of Mine
Asominate Feb 2020
Thanks, appreciations!

I plea to thank you?

(We're unpleased)

Gratifications!

Certainly welcomed!
Noted and appreciated!
Feb 2020 · 172
Have Been Continued
Asominate Feb 2020
A sinner's prayer
I come and leave justified
Mercy: my mistakes are covered
Feb 2020 · 322
I Don't Know Either
Asominate Feb 2020
Master, you're put in charge
As your servant, I have put you first
I live to please you
Asominate Feb 2020
These ***** hands, they understand
They break a man and ****
Life is enchanted, I never wanted,
They broke my mind and will
Not saying you're rude, but only the moon
Listens to my story in silence
Do you now get my mood, of why I brood,
And why I act out in violence
Asominate Feb 2020
My nonchalance is challenged
I have cares in the world
I found my ways to strike a balance
As paradoxical chaos unfurled.
Delicate dedication,
I put myself in the way
Desolate deprivations
I find my lost selves in wordplay
Feb 2020 · 106
Sentience Part 26 (Mirror)
Asominate Feb 2020
In wake, awake, I wait, and watch her 
My hands, they reach, they stab, I touch her
In the statistics, part of the cluster
Put her to sleep, I rest in culture.
I tried to die, I tried to hurt her!
We felt the pain, again, our torture
I made a fist, like this, I hurt her
But she fought back, we broke the mirror
Feb 2020 · 95
Sentience Part 25 (New)
Asominate Feb 2020
Things of the past
I must let go
Else my pain will last
Must it be so?
Turn away
That's not for you
Why keep the old hurts
When there's joy afresh, new
Feb 2020 · 95
Sentience Part 24 (End)
Asominate Feb 2020
I see your smile,
It's all a lie,
The wanton greed
That you deny.
You wear your masks,
You are my "friends,"
So, shame on me:
I've met my end
Asominate Feb 2020
I feel so empty,
My esteem's sore
That knife looks delicious
My nervous system begs no more.
Isolated,
I am the one who's different
Desolate
This chapter feels so hopeless
Asominate Feb 2020
This lonely world,
I'll hold your hand
I'll pick you up
I'll help you stand
If you can't relate
If these of you don't exist
I'll still get it done:
Miraculous
Feb 2020 · 96
Sentience Part 21 (All)
Asominate Feb 2020
From the heart
Giving what's there, what's true
I lose them all
So that I'll gain you
Your ears always tuned in
For my call
Genuine worship
I give you my all
Feb 2020 · 94
Setience Part 20 (Living)
Asominate Feb 2020
I lay me down
I can't lay low
I have to tell
I have to show
There more to life
Find him that's giving
Humble yourselves
And keep on living
Feb 2020 · 273
Yours
Asominate Feb 2020
I look and there's nothing left,
There's nothing left to be saved.
Because I am yours
I wear my mask
And behave.

I look at me and I see
There's nothing left to be saved
Because you own me,
I laugh it off
I'm your slave,

Yours, in a lost state
I wear my mask and behave
Because you own me
I wear my mask
Asominate Feb 2020
To be practised are the things to better within myself, I must work my gifts
For if too long they lie there stagnant, eventually they'll be missed
It's been forever since I can remember a poem of mine with run-on lines
I can't remember to, mustn't, but I want to, reality's wrong but otherwise, I'm fine

Going about my daily lives, I strive to make me better than the best
Expectations of perfection, I can't care, I can never be less
Concerning all that I am learning, getting, being, staying here
Hides an appreciation of my disassociations, my delusions, don't hug me, I am scared

It's been a while since I last smiled at a prose of mine made out of deliberation
A fever dream, I scream through my glass casket to a denying nation
Let me out, it festers, a pest, I confess to the caging of a tiger
Repression, antidepressants, suppressed, well sedated, I'm deduced, I am a, the liar

I live to love, I hate to live, but love, a reality, people nonexistent
No matter what happens, as things get out of hand, it stands, the maddening's consistent
Can't see the wrong, just as I'm taught, you awaken, to fix the mixed, you're seeking
Asleep I lie, waiting to die, everything's alright is all I see, I be to once denied, unwanted memories, unstopping, ever fleeting

Of course it is my fault, as usual
Feb 2020 · 219
Us Monsters
Asominate Feb 2020
I'll blow my brains
'Cause I deserve it
Ignore my pains
'Cause I'm not worth it


They hurt us
These are the ways they vent
Us monsters
Should get our punishments


Us monsters
We are the monsters
We deserve it
These are the ways they vent

Us monsters
They hurt us
Price of a sentience?

Price of a sentience...
We're true monsters.
For people who ask me why am I the way I am...
Feb 2020 · 102
The Better Things
Asominate Feb 2020
Abstract extracts have no story to tell
I have no feelings and art don't sell
A familiar emptiness; hunger, that I know too well
How can I be in the valley, if I never fell?

We're pretty much the same,
Divided across an axis
An object and its image with no name
Feb 2020 · 161
Red, Stripe, White
Asominate Feb 2020
Red, stripe, white.
Isn't that the pattern?
We fed,
We might
Consume to make a better bed
Delighted,
Dreams still dance inside my head
The night
Never seems to find its end.
Feb 2020 · 65
Pain
Asominate Feb 2020
The hardest diamonds
can be broken.

The mutest of tongues
cry out,
they've spoken.

The deafest of ears,
they hear
their tears.

The emotionally numb,
they still...
feel...
pain...

We
feel...
pain...

I
feel...
pain.


T­he hardest diamonds...
the living die out

But I wanna die now
There is no way out

to escape

You lie and lie me down
I'm not safe

Whatever it may be
It wouldn't last

Whatever it's made off,
Eventually, it'll be of the past
Feb 2020 · 77
Who Cares
Asominate Feb 2020
Everyone is an industry plant

Everyone plants themself

There's nothing wrong with planting yourself in an industry

I wish I was one
I can be
I could be

Who cares?
inspired by Lil B0MB
Jan 2020 · 163
Nobody
Asominate Jan 2020
Do you think I'm an industry plant?

I wish

The only one planting me

Is me

By myself

On my own

No corporation
No big business

I'm nobody!
Inspired by Lil B0MB.
Asominate Jan 2020
The darkest humour,
A comedy
I’m laughing although it is killing me
You watch me bleed, yeah.

Brains don’t feel pain…

Especially daddy’s
When he had a tumour growing in it
Messed up his memory
Also, his sanity

Since then he cannot see
He went completely blind
Nerve cells rarely heal
Especially the ones that run to the eyes

Surprise
For two weeks
He felt it ill
Slight fever with no heat

He felt slightly weak
Then he woke up blind
Everything was dark
His optic nerves his tumour did find


He said everything was black
He flew out of the country
After a month, he came back
He didn’t die, alive was my daddy


Ten years, three months later
I put my pen to paper
I know I wouldn’t remember
‘Cause daddy and I don’t get better.


The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree
I am of my father
Dementia: him, schizophrenia: me
Isn’t it a laughter?

That’s my happily ever after...
I'm a person who writes down my events and memory for when I forget then, and I realised there was a story a never wrote down. Over 10 years ago. I was 8, he was 50. The doctors said with the size of his tumour, it had to be growing for over 30 years. In his late twenties, he had a brain scan, but nothing showed up... nothing until over 20 years later.
I'm really glad to have him around right now, but it sometimes gets to me seeing me becoming him and seeing us grow worse, mentally, that is.
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