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Stop talking.
The silence hurts less than this.
The loneliness consumes me.
I feel numb, empty.

What have I done?
I should know better.
I didn't think this through.

They won't stop.
I can't stop.
Shut up.
It doesn't matter.

It continues.
I die some more.
I probably deserve this.

Please stop.
What about me?

Shut them out.
I can't.
I try.
I fail.

It's not so bad when I close my eyes.
But I can't keep my eyes closed for long.
They'd get worried.

My brain chemicals I can't confess
Large bodies of people I detest.

It only happens when I'm with them.
I never feel this way by myself.
I only feel lonely with them
I can never be alone and lonely.

The noise,
It continues.
I think I should write in first person more.
Mouths, we speak
As tongues we taste
To die is loss
To live's a waste
The sands of time
The tools we shape
Make us sublime
Seekers find,
A will to seek,
Us humankind
And break the meek.
No stone unturned
The nooks and crannies
Are taught and learned,
Aren't we canny
Finders seek;
I seek to find
That which I lost
And lost my mind.
I'm at a loss
Now that I've gained.
Insanity's fancy,
Mundane's plain
Johannah Jeanty Nov 2018
It's always the good ones that go to waste
Can't undo the past yet deleted files I still chase
Loss of identity, leaves me traumatized for phases
Only just a little child, way too young for these foretaste

I miss the time where I taught persons actually cared
I miss the time when I taught that people were there
I miss the time when only Satan was evil
I had to find out that the bads ones were the people.
Just another vent poem from yours truly. For the like hundredth time now. Just saying.
Sometimes I feel like I'm too young for all this "wisdom" contained in my skull.
Johannah Jeanty Nov 2018
1, 2, 4, 8...
Chromosomes and cells of mine,
They duplicate.

My personality divides
Any and every time.

Meiosis -
My rapid mutations,
I find that they
Fuel my psychosis

High expectations
I let me rip me apart
I divide and split
Over and over again

This is the alien
That I've become
I'm never enough
It's never the same
Gaps of DNA through

Meiosis -
I know this,
I know that I'm not good enough
As a single, a one,
Tear myself in half to
Give them two
When I'm done.
Was doing biology in school and learnt what meiosis is... so I did the most 'Asominate' thing to do... write a poem about it.
I'm running out of moonlight,
Soon it will end, the nightfall
Dawn would break, and I'll live to see the daylight
And fall apart at sunrise

Keep myself together while the moon shines
Cause at the sunbeams I fall apart.
When you work through the night and still not finished when the morning comes
Sends me ballistic,
I can't function!

The beast in me won't stay in its grave!

A mental misfit-
Tell me am I too much to save?

These pastel colours are painted on my life pallet:
Love and Laughter,
Rage and Regret
The memories I'm after
The memories I want to forget
The red and blues are abused

These aren't the colours I should see!
How could I tell you?
You never come through-
It is killing me
I'm at the point where it hurts so much I hurt myself
Don't you understand the meaning of 'help'?
There's chemistry between us
It's written on your face
We're feeling the reaction
It's because I've been displaced.

We work together,
Like an equation,
Stuck here forever,
I can't escape

Now that I've been replaced,
It's a shame, I'm a disgrace
I am not as reactive
I am, well, just misplaced

Maybe our bond was made to be broken.
Maybe I'm supposed
To completely decompose.
Maybe I'm strong, but I don't want to show it
Maybe of something greater I'm composed.
Searching for a door.
Nothing matters,
With mobile metals,
You pierce my flesh
'Cause you humans
Like my meat fresh
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