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Asominate Jan 31
The darkest humour,
A comedy
I’m laughing although it is killing me
You watch me bleed, yeah.

Brains don’t feel pain…

Especially daddy’s
When he had a tumour growing in it
Messed up his memory
Also, his sanity

Since then he cannot see
He went completely blind
Nerve cells rarely heal
Especially the ones that run to the eyes

Surprise
For two weeks
He felt it ill
Slight fever with no heat

He felt slightly weak
Then he woke up blind
Everything was dark
His optic nerves his tumour did find


He said everything was black
He flew out of the country
After a month, he came back
He didn’t die, alive was my daddy


Ten years, three months later
I put my pen to paper
I know I wouldn’t remember
‘Cause daddy and I don’t get better.


The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree
I am of my father
Dementia: him, schizophrenia: me
Isn’t it a laughter?

That’s my happily ever after...
I'm a person who writes down my events and memory for when I forget then, and I realised there was a story a never wrote down. Over 10 years ago. I was 8, he was 50. The doctors said with the size of his tumour, it had to be growing for over 30 years. In his late twenties, he had a brain scan, but nothing showed up... nothing until over 20 years later.
I'm really glad to have him around right now, but it sometimes gets to me seeing me becoming him and seeing us grow worse, mentally, that is.
Fiona Jul 2019
I'm losing my mind
It's slipping away
A tumour now lies
Where the matter was grey

There's a pain in my head
Where the invader has parked
And I ask myself daily
Was my card always marked?

Things could have been different
Had I known this before
But I can't dwell on that
When I'm close to the door

This is my fate
And really, I'm OK
I found out too late
And it won't go away

It's now matter over mind
As sharpness declines
And tumour cells bind
Replacing memories and thoughts

It's funny when I think
That I grew from a cell
And so did this thing
That's been causing me hell

I think back to that first scan
The contrast MRI
As the clock hands now slide
Towards the time that I die

I remember the shape
How it looked out of place
And I knew straight away
I was out of the race
Michael Oct 2018
I have pain in my head that won’t go away.
A constant headache that is with me everyday.
No let up, no reprieve,
Just constant thumping pain for me.
I feel like my head could burst,
And what a relief that wold be,
Because the continuation of pain is truly the worst.
Surgeons cut me open,
My brain they could see.
Why is it that they still have not been able to fix me?
My tumour is gone,
But my brain feels the same.
The danger has passed,
But the suffering won’t go away.
Several years ago I had a brain tumour removed. I am left with a constant thumping headache every moment of every day. Some days, like today for instance, it’s just too much to bare.
Äŧül Dec 2016
It is difficult to ignore,
When it is omnipresent,
Day or night doesn't matter.
Even though I had left that ship long ago,
Beeping ears and moving surroundings,
The cannons blared to give me tinnitus,
And the ship sailed to give me vertigo.

Now I hardly ever snore,
When I do it's instrumental,
As my naps no longer matter.

Beeping ears since long,
And vertigo since you left,
I definitely have been better.

No poems seem sane now,
And this one does neither,
To me, it's just a breather.
HP Poem #1304
©Atul Kaushal
Äŧül Dec 2016
I wanted a beautiful girl,
The good thing was that,
She wanted me as well...

I loved a young woman,
The strange thing is that,
She thought she loved me too..

But her love was limited,
Really disabled was her love,
And she could understand it not.

I went to her home,
Slept on the bed,
Made of Kashmiri willow..

She came as I slept,
Kissed me on the lips,
Woke me up anticipating more...

What ensued is just history,
It forms a part of my story,
An unforgetable memory..

A memory that digs out,
From my heart into blood,
Off my brain into a tumour.
HP Poem #1300
©Atul Kaushal
Eleanor Rigby Oct 2015
There is a tumour
Inside of me.
And what does it do?
It grows and grows
And keeps growing.

This tumour
Is loneliness.


-- Eleanor

— The End —