The darkest humour,
I’m laughing although it is killing me
You watch me bleed, yeah.
Brains don’t feel pain…
When he had a tumour growing in it
Messed up his memory
Also, his sanity
Since then he cannot see
He went completely blind
Nerve cells rarely heal
Especially the ones that run to the eyes
For two weeks
He felt it ill
Slight fever with no heat
He felt slightly weak
Then he woke up blind
Everything was dark
His optic nerves his tumour did find
He said everything was black
He flew out of the country
After a month, he came back
He didn’t die, alive was my daddy
Ten years, three months later
I put my pen to paper
I know I wouldn’t remember
‘Cause daddy and I don’t get better.
The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree
I am of my father
Dementia: him, schizophrenia: me
Isn’t it a laughter?
That’s my happily ever after...
I'm a person who writes down my events and memory for when I forget then, and I realised there was a story a never wrote down. Over 10 years ago. I was 8, he was 50. The doctors said with the size of his tumour, it had to be growing for over 30 years. In his late twenties, he had a brain scan, but nothing showed up... nothing until over 20 years later.
I'm really glad to have him around right now, but it sometimes gets to me seeing me becoming him and seeing us grow worse, mentally, that is.