I should have seen heartache coming
The moment we said hello
Let you deep inside my heart
In return
You let go

So much pain weighing down heavy heart
Wish I would let sadness go
Clinging to my skin like static
Stalking like own shadow

Paradise can be torture
When so far out of reach
Like drowning in the ocean
In sight is a beautiful beach

You ogle her like a goddess
Doesn't come as a surprise
You don't have the decency
To look me straight in the eyes

I suppose I am not accustomed to
Such strict segregation
Without one insult hurled my way
Feel a victim of degredation

Your courteous attitude a change
From relaxed behavior I'm used to
To anybody else seem polite as can be
Being treated like a stranger to me is new

The wound within bleeds more
Every time I'm grazed by the sound of your laughter
It's music to my ears
Taunted by the silence after

Leave no details to imagination
Emotions are shown loud and clear
In less than 45 minutes you've managed to remove
Any sliver of doubt still under skin here

But aching heart inside my chest
Beats for solely your name
Fractures worsening in presence
Yours not reacting the same

Because it bangs harder against my ribs
Whenever you come around
As if already wasn't broken enough
Battered more with each excited pound

Your happiness ruins hope
I am glad to see you smile
Devastating to accept the thought
You walking somebody else down the aisle

You said we would marry someday
That you would have already gotten down on one knee
Except wanted to get me the ring I deserved
Must love her a lot more than me

Were those years to you a waste?
Now you've found what you truly desire
Don't understand how you no longer feel a spark
Inside I contain a raging fire

I wish I saw what about her is more special
Than magic we created before
In front of my face is all I ever wanted
It's not mine anymore

Fragile fragments fade forever
As heart is erased
Emotions won't budge
Forgotten never
Wishes were a waste

Harmony hardened
Harmful haste
Hate the way time twisted our thoughts
You don't even remember the taste
Of tongues tied into knots

Why thoughts of us remain
Though you've disappeared
Is a burden I can't ascertain
Reason is unclear

Stubbornly clinging to pieces of the past
Remnants of love both once knew
Cannot comprehend we didn't last
Everything we have been through

As icicles decorating roof outside
Melt as snow slowly thaws
Water droplets fall like tears cried
For each one you are the cause

Directing chills up and down my spinal cord
Could shoulder makes me shake
Shiver in shadows as I am ignored
Never thought I would be the one you forsake

I hear words said long ago
Yet too significant to forget
You loved me and begged me not to go
Your adoration somehow reset

The death of our unique connection
Left me with nothing but grief
Cannot accept this is really the end of our intersection
Obsession arouses disbelief

So many years now washed down the drain
Like you vanished into thin air
Loneliness steadily drives brain insane
Can't help but miss you despite the despair

If it was my heart you had instead of your own
Wouldn't have left me all alone

I used to cherish our time together
Walked on air when you were around
But nowadays when we are together
My feet are cemented to the ground

It's only been two months so far
And all I've seen us do is sink
Further below the surface of success
Problems never dissolve or shrink

Ocean of self-centered focus
Drives our spirits apart
I often put myself first before you
In order to protect my heart

Love lost like a set of car keys
Has left me wounded and cold
Trapped in self-isolation
Too frozen to comfortably hold

I suppose I wanted to feel normal again
Have scars magically disappear
I fooled myself into believing the impossible
Cause I forget they existed when you were near

The sharp and jagged edges
That make up the outline of my shape
Will cut you open eventually
Or at the very least leave a scrape

We are slowly breaking down
Disintegrating piece by piece
It's only a matter of time until
Our fond emotions entirely cease

One day I will be a memory
And you'll hardly remember my face
I promise you my presence
Won't be difficult to replace

When we first met you weren't attracted
It just wasn't meant to be
Not sure why you fell so hard
When it's clear you don't see much in me

The sun does not shine as bright these days
Always cloudy overhead
Wonder when my blue skies changed
Shifted to grey instead

Are you in denial or just determined to hide
From us the demons you battle inside?
I can't tell if you are truly mad at me
Or mad at yourself for the things you cannot be
Maybe it's both but it isn't fair to blame
Me for the person you became
You'll say it's my fault like you always do
But its obvious the fault is in you
I hope you'll come to your senses and find
Whatever caused the reasons behind
Your actions have nothing to do with anyone
Besides you so accept what you've done
I try to have your back even when I disagree
The truth would have emerged eventually
To you it's easier to deny than to accept
Responsibility for the secrets you've kept
I hope you realize you are the one in the wrong
And that you have the power to be sober and stay strong

I paint me a smile

But today my made-up colors smudge

You can see frown visible underneath

Dim
Distressed
And too distorted to hide

I should have loved myself more
You a little less
Then I wouldn't have lost myself
In your spellbinding caress