Toxic together
They both want it to work out
Love is so unfair

If given the chance would you ask for me back?
Each tear I've shed would you help me uncry?
The bad moments erased like an amnesiac
Reverse time to before you said goodbye

You'd be a better man than you were
I would be better too
Stop you from walking out the door
Would not give you a reason to

Headphones in eardrums blocking out life's sound
In rhythm to music I hear heartbeat pound
White cord visibly sways to then fro
Mouth silently each lyric I know
Do not speak and interrupt paradise
In comparison to world this reprieve is nice
Temporary peace found inside of me
Lose myself in the melody

Nothing there anymore
Everything good thrown out
Did not try to stop it
What is there to talk about?

I am a terrible person for what I know I have to do
But I am only human and deserve to be happy too
I am used to depression
It's been a long time friend
But as long as we are together it surely won't end
Not because you abuse my body or my feelings
But because you aren't helping the **** with which I'm dealing
You may be sweet but you make me feel sour
Quiet because it is easier to cower
Than to pick a fight that is impossible to win
Aggravation works it's way further under my skin
You are supposed to have my back
Clearly you do not
You throw me under the bus without a second thought
I wish I would have waited before rushing in headfirst
It seems with bad judgement I am hopelessly cursed
An impatient creature
Now both are paying the price
Because I am too foolish to stop and think twice
I know you will be angry
You have every right to be
But I have faith that in the future you will see
That this decision really is for the best
It only gets harder the more time we invest
I know deep cuts now are engraved on your soul
It wasn't my intention to carve out a hole
But attraction has slowly shifted to dismay
"I love you" is a phrase that toward you I'll never say
The way I looked at you changed after our first fight
And has only grown worse since that night
I held on hoping situation would improve
And one day of your actions I'd actually approve
But our relationship dies a little bit more
Each time you do something that I deplore
My eyes are finally open to who you really are
Too bad to see it took getting this far
This whole time I've held on wishfully thinking
It will get better but problems aren't shrinking
I'm ready for this to be over
Yearn to be free
Keeping your emotions safe is mentally draining me
A grave is already dug now it is time to lay to rest
The remains of our romance
Suffered cardiac arrest
You can yell if you want to or call me names
Whatever it takes to break these heavy chains
I have bottled up the truth for far too long
Pretending it might work despite it feeling wrong
I ignored my instinct in fear of loneliness
But these gnawing doubts have gotten too large to repress
Obnoxious ocurrences are a routine indication
Of our incompatibility
Leading to irritation
It seems we are both holding the other down
Not only do you not make me smile
You widen my frown
I am fully aware I frustrate you as well
Without saying one word by your expression I can tell
I don't want to be the source of your despair
But the weight of commitment has become too much to bear
I have wanted to cry out loud but kept my mouth closed
But these silenced concerns beg to be exposed
I think the moment is past overdue for you to hear
The honest thoughts crowding my skull no matter how severe
I apologize for hurting you
Hope you believe it wasn't my plan
I would stick it out awhile longer but am not sure that I can

I thought I mattered to you
That there still was something left to save
Scared of life without your presence
Have no choice but be brave

You've made pretty evident
I am no longer what you desire
Wish I knew how you did it
So I also extinguish my fire

You do seem happier
What I want the most
Even if meaning you can only exist
In world as a translucent ghost

Bleeding out until heart's out of blood
Hoping you see
How I care and love you so
Everything you once loved about me

What we had was messy
The one thing I know is that it was true
When I look into your eyes today
Glimpse a sliver of the person I knew

But know things have changed since then
I have made a lot of mistakes
Wish I could take some of it back
No such thing as double takes

Starting to realize our time
Finally has drawn to an end
A portion of me would rather say no
Instead just play pretend

We only get so many chances
Never sure which one is last
Until it is too late and everything you need
Becomes part of the past

The scars left on my feelings
Cause me pain to this day
No matter how long spent apart
Damage determined to stay

We blame ourselves for struggles
Maybe that isn't fair
It is destiny's fault
Creating this nightmare

It seems real this time
You never are coming back
Try to hide my sorrow
I am always wearing black

I should have seen heartache coming
The moment we said hello
Let you deep inside my heart
In return
You let go

So much pain weighing down heavy heart
Wish I would let sadness go
Clinging to my skin like static
Stalking like own shadow

Paradise can be torture
When so far out of reach
Like drowning in the ocean
In sight is a beautiful beach

You ogle her like a goddess
Doesn't come as a surprise
You don't have the decency
To look me straight in the eyes

I suppose I am not accustomed to
Such strict segregation
Without one insult hurled my way
Feel a victim of degredation

Your courteous attitude a change
From relaxed behavior I'm used to
To anybody else seem polite as can be
Being treated like a stranger to me is new

The wound within bleeds more
Every time I'm grazed by the sound of your laughter
It's music to my ears
Taunted by the silence after

Leave no details to imagination
Emotions are shown loud and clear
In less than 45 minutes you've managed to remove
Any sliver of doubt still under skin here

But aching heart inside my chest
Beats for solely your name
Fractures worsening in presence
Yours not reacting the same

Because it bangs harder against my ribs
Whenever you come around
As if already wasn't broken enough
Battered more with each excited pound

Your happiness ruins hope
I am glad to see you smile
Devastating to accept the thought
You walking somebody else down the aisle

You said we would marry someday
That you would have already gotten down on one knee
Except wanted to get me the ring I deserved
Must love her a lot more than me

Were those years to you a waste?
Now you've found what you truly desire
Don't understand how you no longer feel a spark
Inside I contain a raging fire

I wish I saw what about her is more special
Than magic we created before
In front of my face is all I ever wanted
It's not mine anymore

Fragile fragments fade forever
As heart is erased
Emotions won't budge
Forgotten never
Wishes were a waste

Harmony hardened
Harmful haste
Hate the way time twisted our thoughts
You don't even remember the taste
Of tongues tied into knots

Why thoughts of us remain
Though you've disappeared
Is a burden I can't ascertain
Reason is unclear

Stubbornly clinging to pieces of the past
Remnants of love both once knew
Cannot comprehend we didn't last
Everything we have been through

As icicles decorating roof outside
Melt as snow slowly thaws
Water droplets fall like tears cried
For each one you are the cause

Directing chills up and down my spinal cord
Could shoulder makes me shake
Shiver in shadows as I am ignored
Never thought I would be the one you forsake

I hear words said long ago
Yet too significant to forget
You loved me and begged me not to go
Your adoration somehow reset

The death of our unique connection
Left me with nothing but grief
Cannot accept this is really the end of our intersection
Obsession arouses disbelief

So many years now washed down the drain
Like you vanished into thin air
Loneliness steadily drives brain insane
Can't help but miss you despite the despair

If it was my heart you had instead of your own
Wouldn't have left me all alone

I used to cherish our time together
Walked on air when you were around
But nowadays when we are together
My feet are cemented to the ground

It's only been two months so far
And all I've seen us do is sink
Further below the surface of success
Problems never dissolve or shrink

Ocean of self-centered focus
Drives our spirits apart
I often put myself first before you
In order to protect my heart

Love lost like a set of car keys
Has left me wounded and cold
Trapped in self-isolation
Too frozen to comfortably hold

I suppose I wanted to feel normal again
Have scars magically disappear
I fooled myself into believing the impossible
Cause I forget they existed when you were near

The sharp and jagged edges
That make up the outline of my shape
Will cut you open eventually
Or at the very least leave a scrape

We are slowly breaking down
Disintegrating piece by piece
It's only a matter of time until
Our fond emotions entirely cease

One day I will be a memory
And you'll hardly remember my face
I promise you my presence
Won't be difficult to replace

When we first met you weren't attracted
It just wasn't meant to be
Not sure why you fell so hard
When it's clear you don't see much in me