LEAVE me alone here like you always do
ALL YOUR REASONS would be justified if any were true
You are probably OVERJOYED without my face around
Which makes me so ANGRY I can't make one sound
I WILL spend my time SLEEPING AT THE WHEEL
I'LL BELIEVE YOU WHEN you say I've caused you too much pain to heal
COULD I BE YOU for a day?
I'd like to switch spots
Maybe then I'd discover that YOU'RE SO REAL
But probably not
I HANG up your photo on my bedroom  wall
YOU WON'T BE MINE yet I continue to fall
You have been my CRUTCH now for far too many years
And underneath this BED OF LIES is a pile of HAND ME DOWN fears
I play OUR SONG on repeat despite the fact it makes me cry
You beat my heart til bruised and BENT without explaining why
Love is a DISEASE and THESE HARD TIMES serve as proof
I escape THE REAL WORLD by hiding under this roof
I had A LONG DAY and even longer night
The path that marks HOW FAR WE'VE COME is dotted with BRIGHT LIGHTS
For a moment I think there is a chance for us to get BACK 2 GOOD
But I PUSH those thoughts away because I should know we never could
IF YOU'RE GONE I am UNWELL which means I'm sick all the time
Up til 3AM wishing there was a way to make you mine

Drowning in tears you caused me to cry
An ocean of fear
Can't swim
Loneliness suffocates and I don't know why
Room more comfortable dim

You looked back with remorseful eyes
Your mistakes written in major key
Held a plethora of perplexing replies
Words struggling to get free

Biting tempted tongue
Teeth standing ground
Barricading thoughts behind bars
Imprisoned
Forced to run round and round
Their footprints fade to scars

Paid the ultimate price for pure love
I am pained and poor
The same sun that once shone above
Sinks from sky to settle on the floor

Maybe we are both better off this way
Then again perhaps not
Who is to say?
Soon you will forget everything about me
With exception of my name and what you thought we would be
But it is impossible for for me to do that too
I will always care too deeply for you
I've come to the conclusion you are happier now
Albeit I cannot quite comprehend how
Back when together I could tell I meant to you the most
In my present exist only as a gnawing ghost
A wall bloomed between
Was completely unaware
Too late I finally opened my eyes and saw it there
New emotions have taken root in your heart
Resulting in us being driven even further apart
I wonder if you love her more than you used to love me
Why it has to hurt so bad to set the things you cherish free

It's rare to find that one-of-a-kind connection
Those who do take care with the utmost protection
Genuinely hoping to keep safe and sound
In doing so don't realize it's come unwound
Truly good intentions are not enough to prevent your love from caving
Listen to my warning before what you have is beyond saving

If serious at all
We would be together right now
Here I am
Alone
Trying to figure it out

Time is my very worst enemy
Stealing youth and my bliss
Forcing to look back in regret
All the things I now miss

Never saw the end coming
Thought life gave me more room
As I get older the faster I'm pulled
Death's infinite vacuum

Gazing into unsure future
Only a sliver of hope
Afraid to peek down
I'm walking a tightrope

Knew time was limited
Aware I am blessed
Many others would **** to be me
Somehow I'm still depressed

Let somebody else take my place
The problems that come with it too
Just wasting my time day after day
Wish I could start over new

I am bleeding out inside
Painfully torn apart
I wear a mask each day
Hiding my broken heart

I continue waiting for the storm to end
Your raindrops to stop falling down
I think I must be fooling myself
Every time you let me drown

Live as if you were a firecracker

Which burns out too soon
Makes such an impression
Worth it

But the gunpowder is what makes the explosion worthwhile

I wonder where I went wrong
My best days have all come and gone

If we were kids again
This time I'd love you right
I was so much happier then
Filled with warmth and light

You were the sunshine illuminating my sky
Permanent smile on my lips
Looking back it makes me cry
The way I watched your love eclipse

Loved you unconditionally
Which means that I still do
Although you no longer feel the same about me
Can't control how I feel about you

You and I were water and fire
Together we both made steam
But it wasn't just lustful passion or desire
It was everything I'd ever dreamed

Why do all good things have to end?
You were there by me through the worst
Not only my partner
Also my best friend
I tripped and fell for you headfirst

Shouldn't have let you slip away
Made sure my grip was tight
Done more to make you want to stay
Put up an even bigger fight

I tried my best to change your mind
Make you see that I'm the one
But I guess I was a step behind
Because you were already done

I won't beg for you like you did me
Instead gracefully let you go
If you love something you set it free
Though it kills me to do so

For your happiness is all I want
I yearn to hear your laughter
Even if that means viewing you flaunt
Your new happy ever after

You may not deserve it
But I am glad for you all the same
I understand why you chose to quit
We both are equally to blame

I long to scrub your name from my skull
Or to hate you for breaking my heart
But I can't shake the magnetic pull
Hypnotizing me from the start

You don't have to say a word
Know me all too well
All it takes is a touch
It's absurd
And I am put under a spell

I don't know why you do this
Waste my time with games and lies
Heal wounds you inflict with a kiss
Why bother to apologize?

Wear me out while leading me on
Too exhausted to stand
Then after completing a marathon
Without reason suddenly disband/
Don't even offer a helping hand

You just leave me heaving on the ground
Out of time and out of breath
Without looking back or turning around
Not caring about my life or death

You keep me on the back burner
Explain how that is fair
I may not be the fastest learner
But I'm not totally unaware

Yet despite your blatant neglect
I remained steadfast through the tears
When arguing showed each other disrespect
But we lasted many long years

You didn't take life too seriously
In contrast to my heavy heart
We balanced each other perfectly
Relationship a work of art

The joy was worth the suffering
I'd go through the same hell twice
To experience the ecstasy you bring
Willingly make any sacrifice

I am sure you no longer think about me
But your image never leaves my brain
Can't stop myself from acting crazy
Your absence drives me insane

There were many times of strife
But many more of peace
I have no purpose without you in my life
Helpless as I watch my self-worth decrease

I am torn into a million shreds
The future we planned for now shattered
As we sleep in separate beds
I scramble to catch the shards that scattered

Yet you somehow are still intact
I haven't witnessed one cut
Wonder if your composure is an act
Because I am anything but

Got holes all over my body
Invisible to the naked eye
Bleeding out hope and dignity
Just not enough to die

I hate the 'now' I am forced to inhabit
Because the present doesn't hold you
More ****** up than I dare to admit
Nobody has a clue

Most days I hang on by my fingernails
Barely getting through the sleepless nights
Don't pay attention to any details
Cannot tell black from white

Nothing makes sense without you here
Surroundings just colors and shapes
Living out my very worst fear
With nowhere to hide or escape

You are my sanctuary
The happy place I run to in distress
Now the closest I get is memory
But it suffices less and less

I trust that in time you will realize
What a huge mistake you are making
But if you come crawling back don't be surprised
If my love isn't there for the taking

I yearn for the seasons to ease the sorrow
Drenching my weary soul
And patiently wait for an easier tomorrow
To replace the bliss you stole

You threw away my affection
Without a second thought
As swiftly as you change direction
Our time together you've forgot

You'll be sorry when you feel regret
Because you always eventually do
But I'm done being your marionette
Manipulated by you

It will be the hardest habit to quit
I know I'll still love you for an eternity
No matter how much it saddens me to admit
I suppose we are not meant to be

My 26 years owed to you
Imagining what your body went through
The process of growing a fetus inside
Just the thought
It makes me terrified
I am grateful you sacrificed a lot for me
At times I made it less than easy
I apologize
Being spiteful and selfish
Unintendingly making life hard and hellish
I'm sure now you are getting tired
Patience and strength I have always admired
You try your best no matter what obstacles we face
Whether police or teaching the proper way my shoes to lace
I am sorry for hurting you
For making you sad
I hope when looking back at our time you picture the wonderful moments we've had
Not tears and heartache
The stress when I didn't call
My trivial trifling tantrums
Me hitting and kicking the wall
You have beautiful surface as well as a beautiful soul
Can tell the worry I've caused has taken a noticable toll
I hope I make you a little proud despite my many flaws and mistakes
Understanding that I have broken your heart is the reason my own aches
You are the world's most amazing mom
You really go the extra mile
Forgive me for this card is late but I hope it made you smile

You really broke heart this time
Feel worse
It goes through my brain
Betrayal playing on repeat
A constant source of pain

Like splinter underneath soft skin
Sliver of our shattered trust
Worked it's way too deep to see
Dig it out I must

Swearing you learned your lesson again
Words like pebbles in my shoe
"Sorry" returns with a vengeance
No matter what we say or do

For the doubt only you seem to benefit from
Anger gets us nowhere as well
Sick and tired of hitting brick walls
If you know a way to help please tell

Seconds tick down
I pause to reflect

Minutes stretch
The monotonous length of nothingness

Hours loom
Lonely
Inevitable

Days I cannot escape

Months feel like self-created prison

Hanging on by thread of sanity

Analyzing same problem a million different ways

I spend nights in bed wide awake
Thinking about each past foolish mistake

Some things in this world hard to explain
It's enough to drive a head insane
I've seen a lot
Impossible feats
Tricked by illusions
Convincing deceit
Sometimes mysteries are not visible in the light
First must be cloaked in the darkness of night