Yes I am a beautiful disaster
In my wake leave a bittersweet taste
A special kind of love in soul
Most of it goes to waste

I long to stop disassembling
Pieces one by one
My demons have spoken
They warn I've just begun

Hiding in the silence
I am too afraid to share
Do not like the way opening up feels
Like winter branches laid bare

Pages of heart are torn
Many stained with tears
Can judge this book by it's cover
As dark as it appears

As whispers flow throughout mind
Uttered from lips of memories
Wishing my residual sorrow
Would be carried with the breeze

Suffering rising into air
Dispersing until completely gone
Hard as I try to blow them away
Miseries keep clutching on

My words lie at bottom of my lungs
Too tired to crawl out
They weigh down my shaky breath
Until every one turns to doubt

I retreat into the shadows
Cloaked in grey and black
Waiting for happiness to return
My colors may never come back