And she shall be gone for a while.

I hope they miss her,

especially that *smile

body sweeter than chocolate
I grew tired,
but I could not stop it.

body softer than butter
I've had many,
but you're a special kind of lover.

moist and hot
working your way to the middle,
to taste the spot.

I suffer in silence
I silence my tears
my tears choke my breath
the pain hurts like death
because I'm dying
and there is no one to help

How does one carry on,
when her strenght is gone?
I want to return home
but heaven has no phone
so I live another day---and die
praying to my deaf father
with my mute cries.

what to do when your body starts to tingle?

take a cold shower.
turn on the fan.
drink some water.
turn off the R&B;
blow out the scented
incense.
look around and it will all start to make sense...

*" what to do when my body starts to tingle?"

place a pillow between your burning thighs and remember that you are single!

I wonder is love
this volcanic eruption
of sensation in my lungs?
Butterflies falling to the pits
flying opposite of alive
drowning in my lava
so pretty when they die.

A passionate flame is born
sweeping them under like a raging storm
fire burning throughout my skin
sending ecstasy and shock waves within
if this is love, sweet God in Heaven
where has it been?

Brown eyes as big
as my heart

I wanted you from the
very start

but I maintained
and stayed in my lane

but when you spoke
I never heard a word you were saying

You may have guessed,
I'm a mess, obsessed with love & ***

I'm a little weird
I might need a shrink

when I'm around you
I never even blink

even when my knees grow weak
that face of yours
is the only help I'll seek.

He made me feel my flaws
did not exist.

flattering kisses
my lips could not resist.

tickled me pink
I wore his compliments like tattoo ink.

and it's not that I suffer from low self esteem
It's just I always wanted to feel something

Truth is: I've never felt special.
Not to anyone, besides handsome Jesus and the ugly devil.

the sadness of her eyes
have become my sunshine

the loneliness is her voice
is a visit I welcome by choice

I can not offer her much,
besides my love and my time...

hoping it is enough to ease her weary *mind.

I invited this war,
was prepared from the start.
My mind turned grey,
steel became my heart.
I grew into
a cold piece of work,
a robot.
And even my warm human blood
could not make it stop.

I have so much to offer
inside of this prison
called a soul
how to get it out
is the mystery
I pry to know.

My angels
and demons
pull and strech
this skin,
their best efforts
to free me from within.

Sadly, the never win
they always lose
I choose to be free
but the power is not mine
it has never belonged to me.

Midwestern girl
with the slow slang
come a little closer
watch her do thangs
she'll usually have
two first names
fried chicken is probably her favorite;
that child loves a ****,
don't forget a big old l o o o o n g danga lang
**** those country girls sho' a make ya head swang!!

Why try to belong
To something
You have never known?
Distant lands
Unwelcoming arms
I have gone.

hatred met
bitterness
darkness has grown.
Homeless in
a home is her
personal song
singing these truths
writing these wrongs.

Be yourself
Even if that person
Is a stranger
Not owning it
is a far more
Evil danger.

right out the tub
fresh and clean
ready to be seen

pretty lonely girl
perfumed body
ready to get naughty

ready for love
ready for pain
ready for anybody

all dressed up
stain glass windows
with nowhere to go

I went to the store today
attempting to purchase
a clean mind
and a pure heart.
The cashier told me
"sorry we're out"
but was kind enough
to offer me a freebie
called a fresh start.

my nostrils burn
with the scent of poison

poison that burns my lips
and my lungs...

I only want peace.
I only want fun.

I pray. I stretch...
all that inner peace mess,
still nothing.

Now my insides are burning,
burning from the smoke I inhale
cigarettes are a taste of hell.

I feel myself growing small
as my problems shrink into the
darkness of my pitiful soul,

drowning away s    l   o    w   l    y    by this alcohol.

past  midnight
my body and soul at fight

1am
I realize how sick I am

at 2
I fantasize about sexing you

at 3
I imagine things you can do to me

at 4
I'm still not sleep
still not bored

at five
I close my eyes

6am til 11
wet dreams appear
too explicit for Heaven

at 12 I'm up and about
licking my lips
hoping this day I can taste your mouth.

I went looking for the devil
and found me.

I went looking for freedom
and found captivity.

I went looking for love
and found misery.

I stopped searching,
and found everything!

I recall a lover once
asking me to dance
I said no words
but I silently agreed.

they hesistated
I waited
lover smiled
I smirked
friends gathered
snickering and making lines
"so can you twerk?" one asked
"no, but I can slow wine"

at the moment I came alive
seducing them all
blowing their minds!

On her knees
Willing to please
Hands connected
Questions deflected    

fall from grace
disgraced face
****** tears
human fears

“What have I done?”
Orphaned daughter
Afraid to hear the answer
From God’s son

candles of fire and flare
balloons float high in the air
their way of showing me
they finally care

the end of the rainbow
my soul now knows
the end is like the ballon
I've seen where it goes

doves fly peacefully
protectively on my side
I lay asleep
Eyes wide

I dance and giggle
as people cry and wiggle
life was complicated
death was simple

violas laid on my grave
tombstone reads:
no longer a sinner
no longer satan's slave

cigarettes
and perfume,

and minty gum,
smoking is bittersweet fun.

perfume to cover the smell.
I doubt perfume could keep me from
*HELL

9-5
Just to stay alive
Guess if I quite
I die.

My mind tells me I'm fine,                            
my memory gets worse with time.

My body tells me I'm fine                           
my health gets worse with time.

My soul is tired but I'm young                     
I guess I'm fine.

I will one day die,                                            
only to realize I was never fine.

I was never okay,                                            
It was all a lie.

the more time I spend alone
the more guys seems wrong.

the longer I am single
the less I want to mingle.

the more they degrade women
the more I despise men.

I wait for healing above
to warm my heart, thaw out my love

my friends tell me I need ***
other tell me I need help.

but I say to them,
I love myself!!

I
lost
my
love
when
he
found
my
heart

One day I walked the long way home.

In the chill of October, all alone.
Tears had cooled, wind had blown.

Still, she knew something was wrong.
She asked, I answered. My hurt was known.

I saw his mugshot today, his soul was gone.

I keep my feelings stored.
working on myself is a filthy chore.

I keep my truths hidden.
but who am I kidding?

you put me in timeout
now our love is forbidden.

I placed my ***** laundry,
with your pure linen.

Now you hate me,
will I ever be forgiven?

The damage has been done,
the curse from the sun,
fear replaces fun,
nothing chases her
but still she runs.

The damage has set in,
the curse of sin
running from the places she's been,
unsure of new friends
tired but there for her daunting kin.

The damage has infected the body,
and she can't tell anybody
won't trust nobody,
who can help? nobody
knock, knock!
whose there? just me.

Our silence solidified our love.
I was afraid,
You were angry,
We knew not each other...
Although I was your daughter
And you were my father.

I close my eyes
to imagine love
and ex boyfriends appear
in my head
a little piece of lust
made up of gifts,
laughter,
time wasted,
and meaningless ***
is all I have to offer
at my very best.

I always
fall in love,
when I'm not
trapped
in lust.
once I break free
I'm reminded
of the deep, black, cold, and captivating hole
that is me.

sing into my deaf ears
sweet melodies
for my melancholy fears
caress my silent lips
make my words come alive
a moan may slip;
the sweetest cries.
sniff out the smell
that has caused men hell;
for a whiff of heaven
morals they bail
no lies. I can honestly tell
that you will provide sensation
extremely well...
blow kisses of love
in my blind eyes
Can you please,
give me sight?
so I can see this healer
named Dr.Might
who claims he can put feeling
back into my paraplegic body
on this night!

Guys are hot.
but std's burn,
and hell is scorching!

You kissed me
and I caught a virus
called lust.
You ran through my
Fever aching head
causing a seizure
I awoke and you were dead.

I coughed up dust
and your power disappeared,
I panicked, I feared.
It was over, I knew.
I sneezed
and out
blew you.

Wasn't  always great.

Won't  always be great.

But for now, I'm  great.

So bask in my glory, before its too late.

what if
life is one sick game?
if I lose
my mind
the rules
and players
are to blame!

Bottle full of liquor
Bottle filled with pills
Numb body
I no longer feel

Bottle full of relief
Bottle filled with drank
Told me I wouldn’t be sh**
Guess I really ain’t

Bottle full of death
Soul raises high like ****
I look down with pity
“Poor old me”

Once full of life

Now near empty...

All pretty girls fall victim
to beautiful lies
from handsome men
who make them cry.
I always wonder why...
they steal the sparke in her eye
they **** her hopes, her dreams die
she used to laugh, now she sighs
she's still breathtaking
but now her heart is aching
her love, the thieves have finally taking.

I thought I was brave
I was not.
I was afraid,
to touch you,
to look into your dangerous eyes,
to call you mine.
Afraid you would see through my lies,
of getting my heart ripped apart.
I was insecure from the very start,
because I am just a diposable toy
to someone like you, a bad boy.

my poker face is quite tight
but it can't hold me close at night.

my values and ethics are quite strong
but girls liking boys isn't wrong

my worth as a woman isn't in ***
but sometimes my feminism needs a rest

I usually pass every test
but the flesh is weak, even at best

in a lonely bed, my mind's racing
orchestrating the acts of sweet TEMPTATION.

tear down my wall
boldly stand tall
give me confidence
because I feel so small.

tie back my hands
and gag my mouth
no screams, no shouts
tell me the things you think about.

build up my heart
break down my will
beat me until I'm still,
show me how love feels.

One day I looked in the mirror
And began to cry.

Not because I was ugly,
Neither because I was beautiful.

But, I seen a little girl
With the prettiest eyes
And the saddest smile.

Somewhere through her Hell
She managed to grow into me
Next to Heaven, it was the most amazing sight to see.

2015 left me with some good advice...

life is not nice
life is not fair
life does not care
life does not share
life does not love
life is a ***** and she's tough!!!

I just pray 2016 has mercy on me,*

because I've had *enough

You said I never hug you,

You claim I never care,

but you never kiss me,

still, my affections I wanted to share.

I took the heart off my sleeve

and gave it to you to wear.

Because, since day one,

I've loved you *teddy bear

exhausted with crying
obsessive thoughts of dying
these tears
will eventually
run my soul dry
in this drought called life
I am destined to die