The sky above me, closed in as the dark, ominous yet fascinating rainclouds have driven near, gathering together in a council.
As it begins to drizzle, soft, warm and little raindrops, fall in
line, gently, carelessly hitting the earth, moistening it in their line.
Once in a while, as the rain gains its strengh, hitting the ground below with more speed and roughlessness in their action,
Rays of the purest light, sent by the sun as it shines above the darkening sky, a sensation for ones optic nerv, a sensation for the eye,
make it through and let this scene shine further more.
Graceful drops, carrried and distorted by the majestic wind,
Create a lovely melody on my window, as they one by one fly into it.
Now as the soil is fertilised, life will surely grow from the sunlight.
Alike the raindrops are carried by the wind, my mind engages with this scene, lets me fall in love with this beautiful earth.
A little rain shall not be the cause of sadness, as it truly is a reminder of the moments of love wich it makes easier to determine.
So I keep my gaze out of the window and enjoy the weather
Until then, the sky clears up and the sun shines again.

~ Umi

Cutting through the darkness with a blade burning in an ominous yet in scarlet reddish tone, roaring as if it had the strengh of thunder.
The wielder in pure fury, swinging, swaying it around to pierce through the sinning gaze of the inhabitants of that place.
It is a true blade of banishment, viscious, without mercy or kindness,
raging evermore in an unending, continous rampage, gaining stengh.
Of course, one wouldn't expect any mercy but purgatory on this cruel and also blood drenched battlefield in which only sorrow is reaped.
But whereabouts of the heart already have been burnt away,
As the warped moon embraces the shadows of the fools,
The end had been brought near on that day which mortals fear,
Heat being spread with each slash, likely to set the soil ablaze,
Thus is the strengh of a sword which holds in a world of nightmares, likely to never desired to be ever seen before


~ Umi

Darling if you say you love me, I will never leave.
Darkness, all surrounding never ending, consumed me starting
from my very soul, but I had no right to mind it.
My world changed from the moment I have met you, it was
alike a candle which has been lit, emitting gentle, golden, yet
still dim light, becoming warm, bright...dependend of this flame.
The darkness, has no way to lose I thought to myself, as I threw
my mind into the book which I was carefully reading.
After all, it is everywhere, patient and generous,
Just wating for its chances to get to ones soul
Under my feet as I desire to take a walk,
In my food which I must consume once I am feeling hungry,
In the wood, which gentle burns away by a campfire.
But seeing you, I have come to one realisation,
In its greatest strengh, relies its greatest weakness,
After all,  a sole candle is able to make it back off
But dear, love is way more than a candle,
It gave me a whole bright star and made it shine.

~ Umi

By my dear angel Sandalphon as he has been lead in my hand, leaving a clear trail of a cursive writing on a transient sheet of paper,
A crimson sight, so black that one would be caught in trance, reflected by unnatural light of a lamp flickering in the dark of the night, as his feather releases a sweet scent of fresh yet unused ink,
Together with Zadkiel's blooming and happy memories I then am capable to write such down, in an attempt to create poetry, focused,
The sound of scratchy, itchy, rasping echos through this room I inhabit, but already left spititually, engaged in the world of fantasy,
Word by word, the paper is penetrated by this pen, pleasantly, thoughtfully, gently sliding over it to not damage it by accident,
There is no need for haste, heartache nor rush, not is there the need to be concerned about this angels work, duty and his mission to accompany me throughout each and every writing which unfurls,
Alike a story from my mind, from my emotions, deepest wishes, cast on the physical realm with his help,
And once his strengh weakens, fades, loses might and goes out alike an dying ember he will be dunked in fresh ongoing determination, so that he can repeat his duties with exuberance, joy
Casting a smile on my face once literature has been created,
As then I lay my dark knight, my servant for the night to rest,
Until another poem has to be written and his duty awakens him,
After all, in this dreamlike tale it is well to remember;
You don't have to die in a dream

~ Umi

Tell your tale to the wind,
Be scattered across the sky, sing without ever being rewarded,
The falling of the leafs may be a sign of change, a warning of colder times crossing your path in this loitering darkness which takes over,
Allure is the thought of hope guiding, leading, escorting you through the misery of your own conscious, out to a far more pleasant world.
Wretched, you fight on as it slowly slips away, loses its strengh,
It is heartbreaking to watch them trying to get back, not flinching despite their wounds and scars they carry from the river of time,
Stained in crimson at last the flower petals of the falling season, reflect upon death repeatedly, with each one falling the soil cries out.
Take a dance with me in this distorted somber dark there is nothing to be sad about, the fate to be forgotten is the fate of every face, one day,
They wither over like the roses during autumn, fall from grace alike the petals of the sunflowers when their time to leave for the next generation has come, or alike the dandelions scattering their seeds,
But most importantly, is to not forget that whilst existing you can make a change, for yourself, for the better, for others,
Maybe you are their light their flower of a spring dream.
Even if humans continue to live wretchedly,
Living, is what I find very beautiful.

~ Umi

What is it ?
The mere thought of happiness that rushes through our veins,
When we see someone we love, our crush, our family, the sunshine,
If those were to fade away, a part of us would simply shatter, vanish,
Rainclouds would keep away the sunshine in our life the heavy wind would brush through our hair and remind us of such great tragedies,
Alike a sleeping terror, the chains of fate, the flow of time become;
Meaningless, without what has been blown away like ash by a breeze,
What you must not forget, will never lose, what wont change is...
The past, where your memories, our remarkable actions are living,
Hold them dear, these several rays of sunlight to keep the rainclouds away, to pull yourself together and shine beyond the scene, rise.
Even if you do lose all your strengh and your muscles refuse to carry your beautiful soul trapped within the flesh of your very existence,
Even if you fall into an abyss of despair, devoured by regret.
As long as you are alive, you may as well do a change.
As long as you are alive, you can make the present joyous by striving for a better future, for yourself, for what you lost.
Live, for the love of light is for all to bear.

~ Umi

[M i d w a y - H i m e]

The Chains of ones fate are undenyable, as life carries on,
Servants caught in a hell of rebirth without ever escaping,
A red thread which leads verily onto a destined pathway,
Decisions, the pen and the ink for ones book of destiny,
They may ruin the servant, or bring them great happiness,
May mislead, trick, ****** or even manipulate them without their conciousness or understanding of the weight they brought upon their poor little, yet precious bodies which carry on depression as if it was the weight of the world or far beyond that registered mass,
In a hole with seemingly no escape to it, trapped in misery,
Chains of suffocating pressure are keeping them in place,
Oh what a terrible fate it must be to be in this position,
Patience, hope and positivity are needed to see another ray of sunlight, shining beyond the scene of the darkened clouds above
Once this trial has been overcome they too will shine with newfound strengh, energy and relieving glee from within themselves,
So fight on, you precious souls, you are worth more than you might think or would even admit to yourselves, then shine
That would be, a great wish of mine

~ Umi

Sleep, dearest creature of the night, you who adores the shining moon, I said to myself as the music began to echo through the room
A nyctophile blood ******* devil, gifted black demonic wings alike a bat when it flies, strengh beyond reason and a tongue full of sick lies,
Yet a ray of sun may be lethal to you, burning you away as if you were paper caught in a firestorm, an inferno of heat, vaporized at last,
Life force relies in blood, impurities of constant change I need since I have already passed away theoretically I am most likely already dead
A music box plays for me alone, transient melodies from the recurring memories of a brighter, vivid past, to which I am are unable to return to,
Ahh, phantoms, a nuisance of the mortal life I have escaped alike the shooting stars over a clear, living,traveling, dark blue night sky
Have I toiled well, hard or long to achieve heaven, yet have become stuck as the devils tool in a illusionary world with no end ?
Flowing water seals me away, I cannot cross when it rains, and need a polite, kind invitement to intrude and cause wicked bloodshed
Sleep, so I may can be innocent until the sun has sunken down to rest,
Slumber,  the world of dreams is free from weaknesses to purification,
With great magic, comes a devils recitation, engaging in a distant dream far beyond the grasp of my crimson, blood drenched hands,
Unable to advance,  shadows of those who have forgotten the fear of darkness spread and creep around, hidden in nights embrace
Empty consciousness I am attracted like a fluttering butterfly to the gentle reflected light by the full moon in its fullest sensation,
Raise this song of love and paint it in a moonlit night for me,
Dance with me, until we aren't part of this world any longer, dear,
Sounds melt into silence, structure forms within chains of destiny,
Even if tomorrow were never to come, I couldn't care less,
For now, just let me rest my eyes

~ Umi

A castle built on sand,
Falling appart by the striking wind, storming, raging, rampaging over the land in a furious devotion only a lunatic would be able to know,
No purpose, yet trying to make one, a nihilistic attempt of a deserted hell, forgotten through ages and generations, left to rot, perish alone,
I do not know the meaning of life, but alike you it has to exist,
Trying to put a broken heart back together, is alike trying to find the pieces of a cup which has shattered into a million, tiny, shards,
I cannot imagine each piece to be the same, because they are not,
Left to be never whole again, after my companions who shared the same naive dream I held dear, fell one by one, only their will remains,
The morning glow we dreamt of was more than just the sun rising,
In brilliance, the roaring sky should have embraced in light then shone even brighter, a firestorm of events as if it was an illusion,
The mission I took up, to become angel like became chains which bound, tied and overwhelmed me with their unimaginable strengh,
Even if no one understands me, giving up can never be an option,
If they worry about me, saying my ideas are twisted and silly,
And even if they speak ill of me, saying my dream to be an angel one day is beyond being naive...I will definetly stay positive!
Bearing my wings, I will keep fighting until someday I fall,
Like a simple feather

~ Umi

Dear life, what is it that makes you take on a journey which always leads towards an unavoidable, devestating yet resenting death ?
Since I cannot understand it fully I wander upon this world without finding any clear answers to satisfy the curiousity my heart bears.
In the realm of dreams I find rest, as my mind engages into this illusion and frees me from this reality for as long as my body pleases.
Awakened by loitering darkness, these questions are repeating themselves on a path of recurrance, without decreasing in strengh.
As my breath dies while feeling the agony, flames of hatred are seeping through my fragile, delicate existence, giving energy.
Rumbling, boiling in sadness I tell myself that anyone's forgiveness is not neccesary, losing control over this riot of pure fury without heart.
Looking back a thousand times, it remains as my very best choice.
Letting these emotions race, rage and rampage uncontrollably
Whilst losing ones self within a lunatic laughter to release pressure
I cannot stop these tears, pitying the past long gone rolling down my cheeks, moistening the very soil I am growing on, as a pure lily
Until the moment comes in which my body exhausts itself and allows me to enter the world of dreams, where despair fades into happiness.
Until the sun rises once again

~ Umi

By my dearest angel Zadkiel as he moves in a clear path, round,
rhytmically, step by step his gears lead him through the passing time.
A golden sight, sparkling, twinkling from the reflection of light.
Locking me, tugging me, embracing me into the deepness of my
own thoughts, which unfold, bloom and become happy memories.
As reality and illusion become one, on the peak of their pleasure,
By time ticking on, now they share the same heart.
This golden coloured pocket watch, cuts through the darkness
within me, with my very own wishes as I yet sink deeper into
deeper thoughts, hypnotic, pleasant, I watch how the minute passes.
The memories created by these thoughts are becoming love,
So that the world I inhabit in is filled with even more light
Tick, tock, making delicate sounds, as he moves unconditionally,
Round and round again until the time has come and he is put to rest.
As then with newfound strengh, he repeats his daily duties as
an source of energy, an ember of determination enters him.
And so, another smile has been cast on me by his gentle movements.


~ Umi

A recurring memory which ties us together,
Is the fuel for a fire beneath my pitch-black wings, take this flame,
Burn my body and break my destiny, but deep within it will always flicker in hope to be going ablaze, a firestorm of raging conflagration
Empowered by my heart, the strengh of the sun's core and a stellar flare, sweeping it all away by just a furious, mighty energetic outburst
A star amongst billions, in one of just countless traveling galaxies, may make it less special, since I am neither the brightest or strong,
But as long as I can gift you sweet light, golden and untouched to make your day brighter I will shine, try harder for your fragile sake,
Just don't gaze at me, or I'll burn my image into your eyes, blind you for all of eternity, leaving you in darkness when my goal was to send you warm light to cheer your way illuminate your path and your stay
Flapping my wings towards more light I might appear alike an angel to you, yet, I am nothing more but a demon who tries to be good,
Even if I should cause, through my burning thoughts tragedies,
One day the day will come when everything melts down, heaven then hell, then you and finally me so I am left to rest at the very last,
Embracing you with the sweetness of burnt out black feathers

~ Umi

God of the seas
controlling the army of the ocean
water gave him strengh
His trident instilled fear
Creatures of the deep love him


And each time I stand ashore
with the sand between my toes
I remember

You call it coincidence.
I call it a blessing.
It's the gift of life.
It's the splendor of the universe.
The lillies of the valley.
The glory of the sun.

You call it opportunity .
I call it a blessing.
It's the education that is ever so free.
It's the freedom that was fought for the upcoming generation.

You call it chance.
I call it a blessing.
It's a mother's love, that I still have.
It's the wonder of friendship.
The people that hold you up.
The strengh of your bestfriend that sticks closer than a brother.

You call it a big break.
I call it a blessing.
It's the job that is perfect for me.
The material benefits that I enjoy.

You call it luck.
I call it a blessing.
It's a life partner that stands when you want to fall.
The love that is available to us all, if only we ask for it.
It's called a blessing, a blessing that we don't deserve.
Not coincidence, opportunity, chance, a big break or luck.

It's a higher power, bigger than anything of this world...
It's called a blessing.
                       ~Gabbriella with 2 b's~

Bodies sink into the depths,
Disappearing beneath the waves with no light,
The abyss welcomes them, offers them a new home: Despair.
Driven by frustration and the wish to return home, hatred is born.
Strong enough to break through the hellish, screaming cauldron.
This is my story too, the me standing right before you, is the one who sank into the bottom of her heart, disappearing in a hole of sadness.
I won't allow you to cross these waters, not without defeating me,
Sink, again and again, the cycle never ends, war never changes.
Even if your enemy might be your very self from the past long gone,
Give it everything you got and be ruined by the fate that chains you,
With every cycle returning, frustration, hopeless rage, envy and hatred are gaining strengh, losing more and more of themselves here,
Parts of yourself vanish between the iron bottom sound, where so many have fallen before, just to protect those who they held so dear.
But what is a war worth that has no meaning but greed at all ?
The things I held dear started vanishing long ago, rusted, dissolved,
All I am is a shell of my former being.
I am but just an abyssal.

~ Umi

- M i d w a y - H i m e -

The sun was shining,
Pitch black, sending out rays of misery in a blinded realm of self hatred, casting a shadow even darker to trail a clear record.
A sun of darkness, made out of despair, casts it's light before the zenith, a day like any other, tiring, exhausting and frustrating.
The phantoms of the past linger around the streets, seemingly not noticing anything, the lack of light nor the constant agony this brings,
Perhaps it was just my sight, which tricked me into seeing everything as it was and thus the others hadn't noticed but a single, little thing.
I hide my truth behind a curtain of both a smile and a fake cheerful mood, put up with the last strengh my worn out fighting spirit has.
Once upon a love, the mornign glow used to be more than a sunrise,
It's brilliance unmatched, almost roaring as it illuminated the atmosphere while we were watching this scene unfold with awe!
This is how it should be, nothing more.
But when I knew the meaning of love you were already gone,
Dragged away by the chains of fate lead by time and left me as the sun was about to set and never truly come back as usual, darling.
You were my light.

~ Umi

Love is always praised into the heavens
But never is a tale spoken in which hatred truly prevails,
For those creatures who have nothing but it left seem so lost,
Is this the price they are taking, or must this be a farewell ?
Alike love, hate can give strengh but also great misery,
For those who have lost the access to light it is but an embrace,
Because for them the heart was made to be broken,
Eventually though, through all odds they find their way, despising what they formerly had done, had felt and had acted.
This side of the story remains lonesome,
The light of love is for all to bear in the end,
But the embrace of hatred is undesired as if it was cursed,
Just because the darkness made an attempt to protect their minds,
An outcast who was left behind, who was undefended,
Bidden farewell the shadows of night give in to the sunrays
Another night ends in defeat.

~ Umi

We are our own stairs
        everyday climbing higher.
We may fall,
          but inside we get up and brush off.
Climbing those steps of inner strength again...

her body;

i refuse to compare it to another 60's                                      
                      ­                                   cliché.
she's not a movie, not a painting.
not a flower.
not a galaxy.

she's unique enough
to be called
         a
            river
                   of
                       her
                             own

because her body is made from the same matter clouds are made of.
mountains, oceans, fields cannot compare, to the pretty girl
with the curves
that could drown you
or make you
                              float


away, she is nicotine,
she is the balloon that guided my dreams
she leaves and i do too
wherever she goes i will follow.
a quest to look for the very strengh that belongs in the core of her eyes.

if she could only see
the way she looks to me.

Misery is a verse of my reflections,
still lacerating
         beneath caustic stanzas.

Words wound, fragments fermenting
              within me, and I chalk them in joyful remorse...

whispers and lies
minds let rise
small things they be
yet more damaging be
than a blade tearing
where can there be hope?
a voice to counter the little things
threatening to tear asunder
all that you are
and are to become
loneliness counters praise
insecurity removes wits
fear paralizes body and strengh
shadows tear at the light
unaware of hidden champions
love to counter fear
peace to clear insecurity's haze
and friends to help keep loneliness away

they are few and not many can give them
but to find those that can stem
darkness's power
look to those that stand beside you
also weathering darkness's might
with power of light

The world of dreams it tugs me in, puts me to sleep ever so gently,
I have almost forgotten about the life, supposedly real,
Softly, sweetly it calls me back, making me ever so exhausted,
As I spend my minutes, hours and sometimes even days there I lost all interest in leaving, after all I don't have to feel the pain, sealed deep within my heart and brain, aching with malicous intend there,
All the same, I cannot deny how it has begun to become an addiction,
Unable to ever escape it on my own without using the last source of strengh available to me, the strengh this demon pulling me into a comfortable sleep cannot seem to understand in the first place,
The luxury of sleeping passed once I saw that I couldn't run, breathe or even hide in this perfect place built from my very own mind,
Exhausted I can feel the chains of agony calling me to get more rest,
But I understand that they are only going to pull me into a far away wonderland where nightmares are crawling into despair,
I can see it in her scarlet eyes, a false " good morning ",
But as I opened the curtains it was already dark.
In the end I couldn't wake up.

~ Umi

Imagine a freedom out there
Touching the sky and fly high
Running trough the fields of flower
And dancing under the falling leafs
Enjoying the cool morning breeze
And the freshness of the flow river

Freedom live me up
Refreshing my soul and tired body
Relieve stress and bring peace to my heart
And heal my strengh

I wish someday…
I can get thoose freedom
I want to free From this cage bars of pressure
One day…

Aspiration is a delusion
                    of a woeful needing  

durability is my subdued security...

I do not see that which others
Do see, blindly do they follow,
Am I the fool or is it thee.
  
I follow no one but myself, not
Imagined to belive in some thing
Unseen, but I know that the strength
I have comes from me.
  
I will not folllow that which tells me
That which I can do and see, to believe
In others is the only thing that is real
As they belive in me.
  
I will not be the sheep that follows
The shepard, as what he does not
Say is you are the meat, the bone, there
Are many that will follow but many
Are just meat.
  
I follow my own path, not what
Others tell me is right in a book,
That i should follow there word as
It is the right path for me.
  
I have strengh not in that which I
Can not see, but in me and those
That are close, I am not godless
  I just belive in me.

There is time
When i cry
With a smile
With a strengh
And loneliness is my only friend

He tells me
That my weakness
And emptiness
Are my best weapons

He reminds me
That I should keep on control
That a mind
Is an open paradise
Where my follower
Are belong
And that I am
The leader

Somber is the one who follows,
In shade is the one behind the traveler on his journey,
In darkness is what is left behind that mountain of the setting sun,
Not to be illuminated is the golden rule, not to see the sun a mission,
Because the darkness is inevitable, just because it is everywhere,
In the food we eat, just as well as under our boots as we walk,
It is in the wood we burn and even within our very own fragile bodies the moment we came into this world before we remember,
But one must not lose hope upon this tragedy of a shadow ever so infesting, as its eyes are always locked on us, waiting for a chance,
No, the truth is, darkness or ones own shadow might be patient and generous as it follows you even into our dreams waiting for a chance,
But within its strengh lies its greates upon all weaknesses;
Just one lit candle is capable of making it back down again,
Always keep in mind that love is more than just a silly candle,
Love can illuminate even the stars.

~ Umi

You don't see what I'm putting up with
How I am lying here with gritted teeth
And a stomach full of acid
Creeping its way up my throat
You said you didn't want someone with a heart on his sleeve
So I tore it off and it stayed where it dropped
For someone so obsessed with looks
It sure was easy to sew these eyes shut

Are we moving in the right direction?
Someone who is strong
        You know I had a dream about us once
         And we were up on the roof
        I was afraid to sit on the edge
           But I did it any way
I've listened close for any sign of moment of betrayel in your camp

But not so much as a scratch from a mouse

All I see is your power

Your strengh

Your unwavering courage

As wind billows through your tall bright banners

Always a thousand reasons why not

With only one reason why


If I never would have read your words I never would have known
How you can spill black couldrons of malice, but show beauty still
You can open up the sky with your words
Build a storm in its belly
But still feel pitty if it rains down on me

I can feel your combat boots

On my front teeth

At my groin

Snapping my ribs

Still even then, you reach down for a kiss

My world's full of darkness,

but I'll not let it consume me.

Each day I bask in the sun's warmth,

and allow the light to flow through me.

I think the gods are watching over me,

Giving me the strengh to carry on,

And whilst I continue to see the light,

I know not all hope has gone.

○○○

Embrace me fully

shatter
                             shatter
                                                     shatter my heart

my love

I am not scared

Reach out
find                                      nothingness

I make a substance for you

Disrupt my                waves        of       strengh
I build them new

Don't wait for just another poem my dear
Don't queue for freedom


                                             Grab it

                                                   It is here

○○○

It is written in scriptures.
That we shalt not live by bread alone.
But by the word we profess.

By fighting all obstacles tossed at us.
By our enemies or our foes.

It is written.
We shalt not tempt the Lord God.
In any way or any form.

For his strengh keeps us secure and warm.

It is written.
We shalt worship and serve God.
For to serve any other would be a disservice.

We must remember.
Blessed are the hunger.
Blessed are the merciful.
And blessed are the pure at heart.
For it states they shall see God.

For whoever in the name of the Lord has faced hate.
For righteous sake the kingdom of God is theirs to seek.
Even when we are lied upon.

So
Let's rejoice and be exceedingly glad for great will our rewards  be in heaven.
For we are following in the path of a king.
We are the light.
And we are the children.
Plus, in the word it is written.

I am so lost and there's not a road that leads back
I continued down a dark path  constantly veering  of the track.
I kept walking through the darkness leaving broken pieces of me behind
A trail of bread crums that no one will ever find
Stumbling through the shawdows
Making all the same mistakes
Tumbling round and round until my sanity finally breaks
I have reached a destination but my mind has taken its toll
I met so many demons they finally tainted my soul
Im at a cross roads i hault and stand still
I no longer have the energy no strengh Nor the will
I fall down to my knees and place my hands over my head
I relise im just a empty vessle because inside i am dead

We need not heed to the jest of a wanting,
          for if it needs your praise,
then it is guilty of denial.

And embellish  on your need
to need, for it to have
                   its authority over you.


You are humanity.

Please try to be kind
With the words that you choose
You don't know others lives
Till you've walked in their shoes

People can smile
People can grin
People can lie
About feelings within

Helping brings Kindness
Kindness is Brave
Compassion brings Love
Loving is Strengh

Why don't I just cry
Let my emotions go
Why do I hide behind this smile

Why do I have this strengh it can't help me here
It won't take away these tears

Why don't I just cry
Is it fear
Why can't I just shed this tear

I just won't cry
I'll just drink another bear
It will take away these tears
It'll give away theses fears
Maybe then I will be the me I want to be.......

Strengh has fallen to our knees, faith has us poisoned,
Thirst for power made us weak, dependend on corruption,
Because we deserted those who longed for a hopeful future.

~ Umi