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"rants" poems
It's stuck in my head, Until it's gone, When I can make endless complaints Endless back stabs to match. But till its gone, it is there. After it's been there and gone, It is there again. Every night of everyday And also in random hours of my days. I see the old, then I see the new. It seems my world has turned black and blue. My heart beats faster And my eyes: they cry. I feel I am mourning a loss; Of someone never born to be able to die. It's the cases like this That are always the worst. You think you've found someone, When they're not there at all. So many good times Have all gone down the drain, Because everyone's a faker. Don't you know I hate liars? You liar, you deceitful and manipulative **** You ***** I hate you, I hate you, And then I hate you even more. What you have done made me fall to the floor. I don't know how I can get through this, Because last time I could just hate, Which still I am doing. You make that more difficult. Because when all the memories Come back again, I don't want to believe that was you, Surely it can't be true? But I know too well To be fooled more than once, Not that there's a way you would make it twice, Because you hate me too. It's all because of you. And her And the other. All "best friends" do Is end up having to stab each other. You see I am missing, Someone nonexistent. I knew it was too good to be true, But that won't stop me bleeding. I wish the 'you' I was friends with Was actually real. Instead I just feel messed over, All over again. I don't want to picture, Not anymore, Of what's flashing through my head. The so many too good times. They've been damaged again. I trusted you As I trusted them all, Because you have to trust to do anything at all. Again and again trusting proved to be devastating, Because there is no one who actually Has your back. So no I don't want to picture, I don't want another picture game. When I'm talking about you in rants, The devil is your name. When I'm speaking I do not have to be sad, It's only the times that I get to think on my own, When I feel even more torn down. When I see you walking around, I wish you were not. Do you know not what exactly you all have caused? I can hear you all talking, Just like we all used to do, Then the thousands of memories Come flooding in once again. And until I convince myself to dry up my emotions, I watch the dry river banks Become diluted without letting the rain fall. Because my tears; You never deserved them at all. I don't want to picture what you may think of me. If you hate me then go on, You can resent me as much as you can. But maybe you'd like to know: I stood up for you. Even though it was proved to be true. I didn't believe it at first, Because it was you. How dare you! If you think I didn't know reasons to take sides, Didn't you think I would defend you as I did her? Well I God **** tried! And if roles were reversed then I would've taken yours, As it wasn't out of favouritism as it stood, But because you were so unbelievable That nothing could be done. No friendship was saved. Being civilised? Well I just try to ignore your name.
0
Dec 17, 2015
Dec 17, 2015 at 12:01 PM UTC
I Don't Want To Picture
It's stuck in my head, Until it's gone, When I can make endless complaints Endless back stabs to match. But till its gone, it is there. After it's been there and gone, It is there again. Every night of everyday And also in random hours of my days. I see the old, then I see the new. It seems my world has turned black and blue. My heart beats faster And my eyes: they cry. I feel I am mourning a loss; Of someone never born to be able to die. It's the cases like this That are always the worst. You think you've found someone, When they're not there at all. So many good times Have all gone down the drain, Because everyone's a faker. Don't you know I hate liars? You liar, you deceitful and manipulative **** You ***** I hate you, I hate you, And then I hate you even more. What you have done made me fall to the floor. I don't know how I can get through this, Because last time I could just hate, Which still I am doing. You make that more difficult. Because when all the memories Come back again, I don't want to believe that was you, Surely it can't be true? But I know too well To be fooled more than once, Not that there's a way you would make it twice, Because you hate me too. It's all because of you. And her And the other. All "best friends" do Is end up having to stab each other. You see I am missing, Someone nonexistent. I knew it was too good to be true, But that won't stop me bleeding. I wish the 'you' I was friends with Was actually real. Instead I just feel messed over, All over again. I don't want to picture, Not anymore, Of what's flashing through my head. The so many too good times. They've been damaged again. I trusted you As I trusted them all, Because you have to trust to do anything at all. Again and again trusting proved to be devastating, Because there is no one who actually Has your back. So no I don't want to picture, I don't want another picture game. When I'm talking about you in rants, The devil is your name. When I'm speaking I do not have to be sad, It's only the times that I get to think on my own, When I feel even more torn down. When I see you walking around, I wish you were not. Do you know not what exactly you all have caused? I can hear you all talking, Just like we all used to do, Then the thousands of memories Come flooding in once again. And until I convince myself to dry up my emotions, I watch the dry river banks Become diluted without letting the rain fall. Because my tears; You never deserved them at all. I don't want to picture what you may think of me. If you hate me then go on, You can resent me as much as you can. But maybe you'd like to know: I stood up for you. Even though it was proved to be true. I didn't believe it at first, Because it was you. How dare you! If you think I didn't know reasons to take sides, Didn't you think I would defend you as I did her? Well I God **** tried! And if roles were reversed then I would've taken yours, As it wasn't out of favouritism as it stood, But because you were so unbelievable That nothing could be done. No friendship was saved. Being civilised? Well I just try to ignore your name.
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103
No no no, this isn’t one of those commendable confessional rants of redounded reality. We all know where that goes and what it leads to. This rhetoric comprises solely of the faulty intuitive comprehension and the ******** behaviour people have while under the influence of the poor man’s **** That could be mistaken for a typo. Xeno-meph, would be what aliens are called if they did this too. Extended warranty of your sinus cavity is a must. And a mouth guard so you don’t churn away at the capricious calcium that are your teeth. Smoke and dance till lungs and legs collapse. Talk like you’re the spokesperson for an oil company that’s pillaging life and land. Change your personality in a minute and become the ****** you always wanted to be. That smart talking, **** wagging, ***** licking, *** ******* back stabbing, self serving, worthless piece of **** is now you, but it doesn’t feel like that to you. Rational ******** your only reprieve. Keep doing the same things over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again hoping the outcome will change. But you’re cool. You’ve done this before, it’s solvable. A break. That’s all there’s to it. The itch in your nose has stopped. Your jaw doesn’t hurt. You don’t feel like **** but you know somehow that something is amiss. Things are not what they seem. Sense doesn’t make itself. The dark is your sanctum. Fast is your peace. That’s not a typo. The world cannot slow down for you. You have to speed up. Another gram, another line, another lie. Control is what you say it is. Handles are what your stomach has. Fast forward a few months and you don’t have a handle on anything. You don’t feel down, you feel fine. Nothing’s wrong But just another fall, and you’re straight out of line. Justify! Justify! Justify! Listen, keep listening… Talk! keep talking! Everything makes sense. Everything is a sense. The difference is that I’m faster, quicker, sharper. I’m handicapped. Leverage is my mind, broken and blind. I wish that was a typo.
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Apr 10, 2015
Apr 10, 2015 at 5:12 AM UTC
From Meth-head to Madness
No no no, this isn’t one of those commendable confessional rants of redounded reality. We all know where that goes and what it leads to. This rhetoric comprises solely of the faulty intuitive comprehension and the ******** behaviour people have while under the influence of the poor man’s **** That could be mistaken for a typo. Xeno-meph, would be what aliens are called if they did this too. Extended warranty of your sinus cavity is a must. And a mouth guard so you don’t churn away at the capricious calcium that are your teeth. Smoke and dance till lungs and legs collapse. Talk like you’re the spokesperson for an oil company that’s pillaging life and land. Change your personality in a minute and become the ****** you always wanted to be. That smart talking, **** wagging, ***** licking, *** ******* back stabbing, self serving, worthless piece of **** is now you, but it doesn’t feel like that to you. Rational ******** your only reprieve. Keep doing the same things over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again hoping the outcome will change. But you’re cool. You’ve done this before, it’s solvable. A break. That’s all there’s to it. The itch in your nose has stopped. Your jaw doesn’t hurt. You don’t feel like **** but you know somehow that something is amiss. Things are not what they seem. Sense doesn’t make itself. The dark is your sanctum. Fast is your peace. That’s not a typo. The world cannot slow down for you. You have to speed up. Another gram, another line, another lie. Control is what you say it is. Handles are what your stomach has. Fast forward a few months and you don’t have a handle on anything. You don’t feel down, you feel fine. Nothing’s wrong But just another fall, and you’re straight out of line. Justify! Justify! Justify! Listen, keep listening… Talk! keep talking! Everything makes sense. Everything is a sense. The difference is that I’m faster, quicker, sharper. I’m handicapped. Leverage is my mind, broken and blind. I wish that was a typo.
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35
I know you want me to shut the **** up Cut me off and not have a opinion I try to stop myself from being My vocal self my very essence Grab some some tape and have some fun Wrap it around my so called tongue That will give you some peace of mind At least for a minute while you unwind I’ll spare you my rants and my thoughts How silly of me to think so much Why speak up I only complain Nothing I say has any weight Smile pretty and behave like the rest Look good be quiet and don’t protest All is well as long as you Do as I say and don’t be brave Clean do dishes and act like you’re fine Ignore those voices that tell you otherwise You are the thing that I contain Into this box this square this frame It’s all I know and what I expect A learning curve and I suggest Get use to being treated this way Feel lucky feel privileged And don’t walk away I hold this over you I confess But what can you do except, accept? This is the way that things are done Don’t make waves or trouble my dear Just go along with what you hear If I keep you silent everybody wins And that is what keeps me, me and you with them If I hold you down then I succeed Which benefits us all as you will see What’s good for me is good for me And why I want you to smile pretty
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Jul 27, 2018
Jul 27, 2018 at 2:58 AM UTC
Smile pretty
When every other thing in your life has shattered and you are a shell of a person and all you do is call me at an ungodly hour to be alone, you don’t have to say hello. You don’t have to say anything. Let your sadness speak its lengths through the silence that permeates through our phones. I’ll stay on until you fall asleep, or I’ll come to your place and hold you until you find your breath again. I’ll wipe away the tears for you, but I won’t tell you not to cry. Sometimes crying is the only thing we can do. When you’re tired, just look at me and give me one of those exhausted smiles we share; I’ll carry you home and undress you. I’ll fold your clothes to the side, tuck you into the covers, and read to you while caressing your hair. Don’t worry about snoring or moving about while you sleep; just get your rest. When you’re furious and all the world has done is disappoint you, I’ll hang from a doorway and be your punching bag. Don’t be gentle with me. Yell until your voice splinters and you punch your knuckles raw and stomp until your knees give out from under you. I’ll lay you down and ice your hands and give you tea for your throat. I’ll hold you as the rage turns into anguish and frustration and all you can do is tremble. And even when my actions are futile and all my words do is come crashing about your ears, I promise that I will at least try for you. All your wounds heal both inside and out. I will always be here to soothe the burns. I will always listen to your rants and ramblings. I will always have a hand for you to hold. I will always love you; everything that I have and everything that I am, all that that I ever will be, is yours. Always.
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Dec 17, 2014
Dec 17, 2014 at 6:56 PM UTC
Always
When every other thing in your life has shattered and you are a shell of a person and all you do is call me at an ungodly hour to be alone, you don’t have to say hello. You don’t have to say anything. Let your sadness speak its lengths through the silence that permeates through our phones. I’ll stay on until you fall asleep, or I’ll come to your place and hold you until you find your breath again. I’ll wipe away the tears for you, but I won’t tell you not to cry. Sometimes crying is the only thing we can do. When you’re tired, just look at me and give me one of those exhausted smiles we share; I’ll carry you home and undress you. I’ll fold your clothes to the side, tuck you into the covers, and read to you while caressing your hair. Don’t worry about snoring or moving about while you sleep; just get your rest. When you’re furious and all the world has done is disappoint you, I’ll hang from a doorway and be your punching bag. Don’t be gentle with me. Yell until your voice splinters and you punch your knuckles raw and stomp until your knees give out from under you. I’ll lay you down and ice your hands and give you tea for your throat. I’ll hold you as the rage turns into anguish and frustration and all you can do is tremble. And even when my actions are futile and all my words do is come crashing about your ears, I promise that I will at least try for you. All your wounds heal both inside and out. I will always be here to soothe the burns. I will always listen to your rants and ramblings. I will always have a hand for you to hold. I will always love you; everything that I have and everything that I am, all that that I ever will be, is yours. Always.
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36
While you were away, My words seem to fall on deaf ears. Unvoiced mutterings that fall out in droves, Burning rants swallowed back in singes and sears... While you were away, Time was stagnant; a viscous puddle. Hours only stretched longer, The second hand jabbing its ferocious needle... While you were away, The clock drove me insane. Ticking my life away in literal seconds. Losing sand grain by grain... While you were away, And when it's all quiet and dark, I could hear my heartbeat... Awaiting the new day to make its mark. While you were away, My words seem to have lost their meaning... As if they were stuck in limbo, Unanswered calls that keep on ringing... While you were away, I am but a little lost foal... Because whenever you're away, I am never whole...
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Nov 26, 2014
Nov 26, 2014 at 10:51 AM UTC
While You Were Away
I am tired of my rants like a millions hammers pounding away in my brain constant chatter drowns sanity expectations love and affection comfort insecurities and misadventures regrets lost and found a million lives not lived what could be and what is hauntings and remembrances shadows looming large on today today that is not perfect perfection that is just in mind mind on verge of lunacy constant screams drowned in the agonizing void void that is my life I am tired, very tired tears they have a mind of their own roll down when you least expect open your soul to strangers strangers that glare stay in dark away from glare tucked in blanket of oblivion lost and lonely yet sane lost and lonely yet sane
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Jan 30, 2013
Jan 30, 2013 at 1:56 AM UTC
Tiredness
I usually begin these rants with a question. But i find myself lacking in just this instance. For whom can say. Anything more When ash refuses to respond. No message can be relayed. Just more things that i silently promise. As i figuratively toast to a memory that will never do you justice. Is it disrespectful to take words so literal. To the point. That looking down gun barrels and beer bottles. Turned into a ****** routine that pride would boast. Only there was no smile in my smile. Inhaling disappointment. As the years of missed visits and substance abuse. Led me here. At your deathbed. wishing my words could reach beyond. Without worry of a certain spectres blade in my shadow. Then somehow. I made my word. The only thing worth asking about. Because allowing the past to weave around the last routine we shared. Would force everything that i have come to embody.   To null Et fin. But no. Your gift was ever changing. Trading a jack for skills. While masking scars that only those with them would know of. And in the darkest moments did i find a crystal. Clear. Resolve. To struggle onward. Tears wont spell the revisions we seek. and i was taught to always look my best, no matter the destination. Everything that i am. Came from you. It didn't come from a book nor a Professor. I can only hope to pass on your wisdom. Although cryptic at times. Will remain in my heart. So even though I will forever be thinking of a new metaphor. A penny will sit in my pocket. Until the day that I can place it in your palm.
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Aug 22, 2018
Aug 22, 2018 at 5:25 AM UTC
Waste not
I usually begin these rants with a question. But i find myself lacking in just this instance. For whom can say. Anything more When ash refuses to respond. No message can be relayed. Just more things that i silently promise. As i figuratively toast to a memory that will never do you justice. Is it disrespectful to take words so literal. To the point. That looking down gun barrels and beer bottles. Turned into a ****** routine that pride would boast. Only there was no smile in my smile. Inhaling disappointment. As the years of missed visits and substance abuse. Led me here. At your deathbed. wishing my words could reach beyond. Without worry of a certain spectres blade in my shadow. Then somehow. I made my word. The only thing worth asking about. Because allowing the past to weave around the last routine we shared. Would force everything that i have come to embody.   To null Et fin. But no. Your gift was ever changing. Trading a jack for skills. While masking scars that only those with them would know of. And in the darkest moments did i find a crystal. Clear. Resolve. To struggle onward. Tears wont spell the revisions we seek. and i was taught to always look my best, no matter the destination. Everything that i am. Came from you. It didn't come from a book nor a Professor. I can only hope to pass on your wisdom. Although cryptic at times. Will remain in my heart. So even though I will forever be thinking of a new metaphor. A penny will sit in my pocket. Until the day that I can place it in your palm.
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45
I'm immobile As my dentist blathers On events and people That don't matter. I'd rather he just Get IT done, Leave rants and jokes And silly puns For one not in His dental dungeon. Today was his crowning glory, When he'd finished needling me, Before he filled my cavity, He suggested I see a cardiologist To fill the hole Found in my chest.
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Mar 25, 2015
Mar 25, 2015 at 11:29 AM UTC
Chest Cavity
You’re a sycophant for a selfie.             selfish daily rants are of the plenty        up here.                                                (Up where?)                                            out there in the world wide-  who cares it’s everywhere.                                          There’s no room for you to hide.  so beware! and be wary of what you confide. I’ve seen words on their heads and their intent on its side.  Your rambles are a gamble, every un-thorough thought  is a stance you take with pride  on something you were never taught.   Did you go find it out by yourself?  I doubt that. Just loud chat from those sat out around you  was enough to change your point of view. so will you choose?  Or will it not really be you? did you construe this opinion or did it construe yours?
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Jul 14, 2014
Jul 14, 2014 at 1:11 PM UTC
Selfies and Sycophants
My bestfriend wanted to **** himself last night. Drunk as **** he called me. Crying his eyes out as he rants. Talking about wanting to die. Begging I pleaded for him not to. Yet he had no care for what I said. Telling me he wanted to feel what it was like to cut. Leaving his phone to go find a razor. I ran the five minute walk to his house. Rushing in, he throws the blade in shock. Then fights me as I try to keep him from going and finding it. Fights me as I try to stop him from getting another one. Crying I beg him to stop cutting. Beg him to stop as he slits his wrists open infront of me. It was as though he had no care for me. As though I was some stranger standing in his way of happiness. He was a different person entirely. Calling the only mom I trust. She rushes over and we force him to get up and leave. We were able to stop him. Get him to talk. Yet. He is still so distance. So different. I'm scared to death... Scared that I'm on the verge of losing my bestfriend. The guy who got me sober. Who has stopped me from cutting and more, countless times. I can't survive without him. I can't help but pray with everything in me. That he will be okay. That he will make it through. I love him too much to lose him. He's my bestfriend. I'm scared to leave him alone. I'm scared to overcrowd him. I just want him safe. I don't know how to feel about all of this. I'm scared out of my mind.
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Sep 20, 2015
Sep 20, 2015 at 2:58 AM UTC
Scared for My Bestfriend
Nightmares. I hate them. They keep me awake, They torture me. They won’t let me wake up. “Sleep! Sleep!” they say. “Stay awake! Watch out!” they taunt.                   So tired…. I’m falling…it’s so dark. I grasp air, scramble for a hold.                                I find it! I scrape my hands and hit my leg The jolt and the pain wakes me again. I can’t sleep. It’s not safe in the dark Ah! I can’t stand the light Nightmares…Dammit! I hate them! My dearest, yes, that’s it. My darling! My love, he keeps me safe. He’ll talk to me; comfort! No, he’s sleeping. I cannot bother him. Sleep. Nightmares. Falling….                                         No! My love…yes, there it is. He’s so warm, I can feel it now. Mmm, my darling; he will not let me fall. He will always hold on Despite myself, despite my temper Despite my rants, despite my antics. Through all the…the… Anger! Frustration! Overexcitement and Fear! Distress and worry! Paranoia! **** those nightmares! I can’t help it. I’m sorry. I just…. So much feeling. I get… Jumbled. I get… Mixed up? I don’t know He helps me. Holds me. Loves me, even.                                               How? I cry and scream, I back away, He follows. I’m sorry. I just get so jumbled. He holds me. I’m so tired… Sleep, oh sleep…. I close my eyes And I’m falling. It’s so dark, hands are grabbing for me. The light, I want to find it But I can’t! I’m being                                                       Chased. ****** Nightmares, I hate them! Why can’t they be quiet, go away… SHUT UP! LEAVE ME ALONE! I’m so tired I just I Get so Jumbled. Up and Up and Up And I can’t stop I’ll fall.                                                            The light, why is it so bright? Nightmares, voices, people, monsters Get away all of you! No, Not you. I need you, don’t go Please. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. It’s the nightmares I feel like I’m falling, Like I’m being chased These things, they’re everywhere, And the light, it’s too bright And I get so jumbled I can’t help it.                                                                             I’m so tired. “Sleep! Sleep!” “Stay awake! Watch out!” Will the taunting ever end? Darling…wake up…. I can’t wake up. I’m being chased I can’t stop, or else                                                                                                               I’ll fall.
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May 19, 2014
May 19, 2014 at 11:13 PM UTC
Nightmares
Nightmares. I hate them. They keep me awake, They torture me. They won’t let me wake up. “Sleep! Sleep!” they say. “Stay awake! Watch out!” they taunt.                   So tired…. I’m falling…it’s so dark. I grasp air, scramble for a hold.                                I find it! I scrape my hands and hit my leg The jolt and the pain wakes me again. I can’t sleep. It’s not safe in the dark Ah! I can’t stand the light Nightmares…Dammit! I hate them! My dearest, yes, that’s it. My darling! My love, he keeps me safe. He’ll talk to me; comfort! No, he’s sleeping. I cannot bother him. Sleep. Nightmares. Falling….                                         No! My love…yes, there it is. He’s so warm, I can feel it now. Mmm, my darling; he will not let me fall. He will always hold on Despite myself, despite my temper Despite my rants, despite my antics. Through all the…the… Anger! Frustration! Overexcitement and Fear! Distress and worry! Paranoia! **** those nightmares! I can’t help it. I’m sorry. I just…. So much feeling. I get… Jumbled. I get… Mixed up? I don’t know He helps me. Holds me. Loves me, even.                                               How? I cry and scream, I back away, He follows. I’m sorry. I just get so jumbled. He holds me. I’m so tired… Sleep, oh sleep…. I close my eyes And I’m falling. It’s so dark, hands are grabbing for me. The light, I want to find it But I can’t! I’m being                                                       Chased. ****** Nightmares, I hate them! Why can’t they be quiet, go away… SHUT UP! LEAVE ME ALONE! I’m so tired I just I Get so Jumbled. Up and Up and Up And I can’t stop I’ll fall.                                                            The light, why is it so bright? Nightmares, voices, people, monsters Get away all of you! No, Not you. I need you, don’t go Please. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. It’s the nightmares I feel like I’m falling, Like I’m being chased These things, they’re everywhere, And the light, it’s too bright And I get so jumbled I can’t help it.                                                                             I’m so tired. “Sleep! Sleep!” “Stay awake! Watch out!” Will the taunting ever end? Darling…wake up…. I can’t wake up. I’m being chased I can’t stop, or else                                                                                                               I’ll fall.
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105
I'm writing this poem to be ignored like many of you I enjoy being a poet of keen irrelevance a literary luminaire of solitude a lost writing ghost a megalomaniac haunting himself a waiting oracle waiting for the occult muse door mouse to tap dance whispering night  babble or having a cooked chicken fly into my mouth while i take searing snapshots of erratic images puzzling them into words from boundless burdens of heaping intestinal bluesy aftermaths exodus of conscience   bruising my self like a ********* in heat on out of control run-on rants and blood razor drenched mysticism while real men drive earth movers drink bruskies and kick *** hustling time share Chinese handcuff contracts and up sell social justice platitudes fit for pie in the sky levitating hysteria lives shatter like red ice in endless cacophonies of skull clobbering effacement I'm writing this poem to be ignored and no one lets me down
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Mar 20, 2019
Mar 20, 2019 at 3:32 PM UTC
Ignored
I looked you in the eye I listened on your rants I heard it when you sigh I love it when you smile You've never seen me once No. It's not a lie But then again... I looked you in the eye
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Jun 13, 2015
Jun 13, 2015 at 6:16 AM UTC
Peek
Sister ****** her pants rants and raves caves into lust must not whine twine around her neck check how quite tight it gets that she's screaming, dreaming for him to let her go.
0
Sep 27, 2011
Sep 27, 2011 at 6:57 AM UTC
Killer
Visions of vengeance on my mind Awoke a past's persuasive ghost Like a parasite disposes it's host I left her loving soul behind Hearing this demon's wicked rants My resistance caved to thoughts provoked Her love inside me I have choked With these bare trembling hands My restless spirit keen to elope Now indulges in all luscious leisure Yet looking for a hidden treasure With a face not showing idle hope
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Jun 14, 2014
Jun 14, 2014 at 9:05 PM UTC
A past's persuasive ghost
Depression, I caught you swimming in my sorrow, you were drowning in my tears. There in my mind I laid down my life but you stole my heart instead and I lost my mind amongst the shadows. In the battle of my chemical imbalance I fight for my right to be happy again. I am dancing in the dark with myself, my heart beats in the shadows as my breath stands to the side, whispering to me keep dancing. Exhausted and frade sorrow follows me, my flaws abuse me, my mistakes scared me. Society forgot about me, I faded into the pitch of nothing. A void of me, frightening memories of taunting accusations from a devilish monster. Those eyes of blue devoured my hopes and dreams, he had no love for me. His teeth bit into me, his harsh lashing of accusations embodied hate and broken ideas, from the narcissist who said he loved me. The narcissist invaded my dreams, with grinding bones from the skeleton's he stored in his closet of screams. Scratching my brain with his narcissistic rants and shoveling wants trying to steal what I achieved for himself. The narcissist knows nothing of love and passionate embraces. For the narcissist only knows how to break things. A narcissist gaslights until crazy devours everything. ©️ 2022 By Amanda Shelton
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Jun 21, 2022
Jun 21, 2022 at 7:44 PM UTC
To My Narcissist & Depression
Sitting here alone with people around But I only see one person in mind She is the person so fortunate I've found She is the person who loves me in kind. My head is spinning as I sit here thinking My heart is aching for the girl I'm missing My lips they mutter, words of love they're saying My hope is wishful that these words you're hearing. I feel this love in my heart, it's growing To proportions of unfathomable enormity Sometimes it feels like my boat is sinking When I think of the undeniable reality. This reality that I wake up to everyday Keeps hurling obstacles that I must face I need the strength so my hopes don't fray Wishing for more so I can finish this race. I love her dearly; without her a life I can't imagine I love her deeply; I never thought I was capable of such I love her strong; with hopes so high, I would pin I love her furiously; never thought I could love this much. She is the sun that around, my world does spin She is my star that I always look up to see She is my moon that so clearly I have seen She is my universe that I'm traipsing through helplessly. I've never stopped wishing for a life beside her I've never stopped wanting for her to be with me I've never stopped hoping for the a life we'd make together I will never stop trying for I believe it's meant to be. I have pined for her so, many a sleepless night I have yearned for her through the hours of the day I have craved for her; craved with all of my might I have longed to utter the words I've wanted to say. Countless of times, these words I've spouted In my heart I've said them oh so many more These words are strong like a volcano just erupted These words are true for they come from my core. So I sit here still with these people around They don't know why my heart aches so It matters not if my feet don't touch the ground I'd still dare to dream and to her they will go. Dreams of you I'll never stop conjuring Thoughts of you I'll never stop thinking With words so sweet I'll never stop praising For the woman in my dreams, my heart is loving. So let me be, you people; you never will know You'll never know who it is who excites my heart You'll never understand what makes my love grow She's the one who had ensnared me from the start.
0
Sep 2, 2014
Sep 2, 2014 at 4:54 AM UTC
Heart Rants
Sitting here alone with people around But I only see one person in mind She is the person so fortunate I've found She is the person who loves me in kind. My head is spinning as I sit here thinking My heart is aching for the girl I'm missing My lips they mutter, words of love they're saying My hope is wishful that these words you're hearing. I feel this love in my heart, it's growing To proportions of unfathomable enormity Sometimes it feels like my boat is sinking When I think of the undeniable reality. This reality that I wake up to everyday Keeps hurling obstacles that I must face I need the strength so my hopes don't fray Wishing for more so I can finish this race. I love her dearly; without her a life I can't imagine I love her deeply; I never thought I was capable of such I love her strong; with hopes so high, I would pin I love her furiously; never thought I could love this much. She is the sun that around, my world does spin She is my star that I always look up to see She is my moon that so clearly I have seen She is my universe that I'm traipsing through helplessly. I've never stopped wishing for a life beside her I've never stopped wanting for her to be with me I've never stopped hoping for the a life we'd make together I will never stop trying for I believe it's meant to be. I have pined for her so, many a sleepless night I have yearned for her through the hours of the day I have craved for her; craved with all of my might I have longed to utter the words I've wanted to say. Countless of times, these words I've spouted In my heart I've said them oh so many more These words are strong like a volcano just erupted These words are true for they come from my core. So I sit here still with these people around They don't know why my heart aches so It matters not if my feet don't touch the ground I'd still dare to dream and to her they will go. Dreams of you I'll never stop conjuring Thoughts of you I'll never stop thinking With words so sweet I'll never stop praising For the woman in my dreams, my heart is loving. So let me be, you people; you never will know You'll never know who it is who excites my heart You'll never understand what makes my love grow She's the one who had ensnared me from the start.
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48
I want your 2pm rants, I want your 8pm cuddles, I want your 10pm "goodnights." And most importantly, I want to feel you next to me at 4am. Pulling me closer, making me feel safe.
0
Apr 9, 2015
Apr 9, 2015 at 7:10 PM UTC
I want you
Once again I am entangled in a ********* with Chaos and Doom. Nothing **** or new about this trysting. I have known them since chopper nights thick and dark as blood fudge; since divorce nights of keening despair and humbling rage; since madhouse nights of weirding drugs and weeping angels; since jail nights of lonely screams and obscene rants. We go way back, and here they are again old, grim lovers, demanding and deadly, but oddly comfortable. From morning until evening, they smile and taunt until night comes, we snuggle up, and I escape into dreams, the only privacy I own. - mce
0
Apr 11, 2015
Apr 11, 2015 at 9:09 PM UTC
*********
Two men, one poem. This day, on this site. Two men wrote to me. One called me brother. The other, an arrogant ***** Called me little. One shared his life, With humility and gratitude, Then, I lost it. Wept. Baby like. Honored me with trust. Swapped spit stories That bled into my brain, And a tattoo appeared on my Writing arm, one word, Humility. One boasted of his beans. His bean counting reads. Analyzed his trends, Predicting by Christmas (!), He would have this many. His **** poems he informed, Would be published. What need did he have For punk-u-ation, His rants, his **** stream of words. Better than mine, Just cause his stuff I said, Not my cup of tea. What a crazy place this place. Holy and ******** sided. Humble humble, always humble. He invoked, this arrogant one, God's name. Not knowing I talk to Him. So I rang Him up and said, How did a little peenus-genius Find his way onto this Holy Place, HP, of kindness. He smiled in brevity. Did I not create both, Angels and devils? I love God's brevity. His commas, his question marks, His pointed punctuation. I love that He could create A man whose sight of Me, unseen, but found capacity To love me in ways Undreamed. Because I peered in to the man's reveal, Saw quality, value, Saw humility. So of arrogance, I said, I would write. But it is of humility I will sing, Of loving human kindness extraordinaire. Of weeping endless. At the joy afforded me To read so many lovely poems, Here. If my poems never see the Imprimatur of a publishing house, It matters not, For I have seen a human being Weep real tears reading mine. I have shed rivers of my own Upon discovering yours. Humble, humble. If it is glory you seek, You will find it, All alone. ************ Me, I live here, in the midst of a Good Company. Sept. 7th, 2013
0
Sep 7, 2013
Sep 7, 2013 at 4:49 AM UTC
Two men, one poem
Two men, one poem. This day, on this site. Two men wrote to me. One called me brother. The other, an arrogant ***** Called me little. One shared his life, With humility and gratitude, Then, I lost it. Wept. Baby like. Honored me with trust. Swapped spit stories That bled into my brain, And a tattoo appeared on my Writing arm, one word, Humility. One boasted of his beans. His bean counting reads. Analyzed his trends, Predicting by Christmas (!), He would have this many. His **** poems he informed, Would be published. What need did he have For punk-u-ation, His rants, his **** stream of words. Better than mine, Just cause his stuff I said, Not my cup of tea. What a crazy place this place. Holy and ******** sided. Humble humble, always humble. He invoked, this arrogant one, God's name. Not knowing I talk to Him. So I rang Him up and said, How did a little peenus-genius Find his way onto this Holy Place, HP, of kindness. He smiled in brevity. Did I not create both, Angels and devils? I love God's brevity. His commas, his question marks, His pointed punctuation. I love that He could create A man whose sight of Me, unseen, but found capacity To love me in ways Undreamed. Because I peered in to the man's reveal, Saw quality, value, Saw humility. So of arrogance, I said, I would write. But it is of humility I will sing, Of loving human kindness extraordinaire. Of weeping endless. At the joy afforded me To read so many lovely poems, Here. If my poems never see the Imprimatur of a publishing house, It matters not, For I have seen a human being Weep real tears reading mine. I have shed rivers of my own Upon discovering yours. Humble, humble. If it is glory you seek, You will find it, All alone. ************ Me, I live here, in the midst of a Good Company. Sept. 7th, 2013
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76
When I was in the fourth grade I didn’t understand magnets. You told me that they were like a boy and a girl, that the positives and negatives stuck together, but with two girls they would just repel. Repel, as if the idea of two girls being together was so awful that mother nature herself would come down to pull them apart. I think about that a lot. And now I’m standing here in front of you, the words dancing behind my tongue, and I am fighting to keep them down. I want to tell you that I’m finally happy, that I found someone, that when I hold her hand I don't want to run. I want you to know that I love her, and that I didn't actually know what love was until now. I want you to know that with her everything is brighter, and that I take back my feminist rants because if she were my wife I’d always cook dinner. the love songs I listen to finally make sense, and hell, maybe Romeo and Juliet weren't crazy after all. I know this might be confusing. But before her I was soil, And now I’m a bed of roses. I’m sorry for hiding this for so long. and now it seems like a college phase, but if we’re being honest I always knew. I knew at junior prom when my date’s hand made me recoil. I knew when I never really hit that boy crazy phase. and I knew when I saw her, When we watched a movie on the grass and I laid my head on her shoulder, and I felt like I was home. And I’ve tried to change, if I knew how I would. When Mom died you said you would always love me. I hope you meant it, because I’ve tried to pick between you. Take you, leave her. Take her, leave you. But I can’t. So please don’t make me.
0
Feb 8, 2017
Feb 8, 2017 at 8:54 PM UTC
Untitled
When I was in the fourth grade I didn’t understand magnets. You told me that they were like a boy and a girl, that the positives and negatives stuck together, but with two girls they would just repel. Repel, as if the idea of two girls being together was so awful that mother nature herself would come down to pull them apart. I think about that a lot. And now I’m standing here in front of you, the words dancing behind my tongue, and I am fighting to keep them down. I want to tell you that I’m finally happy, that I found someone, that when I hold her hand I don't want to run. I want you to know that I love her, and that I didn't actually know what love was until now. I want you to know that with her everything is brighter, and that I take back my feminist rants because if she were my wife I’d always cook dinner. the love songs I listen to finally make sense, and hell, maybe Romeo and Juliet weren't crazy after all. I know this might be confusing. But before her I was soil, And now I’m a bed of roses. I’m sorry for hiding this for so long. and now it seems like a college phase, but if we’re being honest I always knew. I knew at junior prom when my date’s hand made me recoil. I knew when I never really hit that boy crazy phase. and I knew when I saw her, When we watched a movie on the grass and I laid my head on her shoulder, and I felt like I was home. And I’ve tried to change, if I knew how I would. When Mom died you said you would always love me. I hope you meant it, because I’ve tried to pick between you. Take you, leave her. Take her, leave you. But I can’t. So please don’t make me.
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40
scars of a past I wanted nothing to do with led me to handcuff myself to a lampole for security. I had reached my consensus. I threw the keys to these cuffs in mental portals where I thought no one would dare to ever travel. Many tried searching but I intentionally obstructed access with deceptive rants of fear and caution. By then I was sure that I had thoroughly built walls of security; I was safe ...but who would've thought my aesthetically intellectual design had a weakness? The enemy came just as they all did, hoping to be let in... but this one reacted differently when the ranting came; I was now at a disadvantage because I had no other alternatives for defense. The enemy showed no care for my security; It was attractive And I succumbed while Never forgetting my plan Although it seemed my design was nugatory. My mental lampole and cuffs, gone. I was left subjugated at the feet of a queen who carried an aura with the most beautiful spectrum. Like a bull snake, promises of security grappled my core, draining it of all fear leaving behind no traces of deception. Although defeated, she still remains my enemy because serendipity never seems to stick around.
0
May 8, 2015
May 8, 2015 at 11:33 PM UTC
Defeated
**Drop your Grudge Rants by the door We Will Not Tolarate This Anymore Edit and toss Distasteful Rhymes Ugly Poems with Vain designs Haughty thoughts and bitter words Childish petty accusing verbs Who did What to Who and When Will this Clusterfuck never end? Selfish actions, Spoiled Children We Refuse to be your Minions Like CNN And Drone Fox news We've had enough of Self Serving views Hurting hearts, far and wide tender Poets with tenuous pride Yet, Strutting and Indignant for who I ask? All those involved, A Donkeys *** Not a home for Egotistical Zealots Nor a place for flinging pellets We come in Peace, HP to share Not get caught in ugly snares And to the few that have the gaul. "If you have nothing decent to say, say nothing at all"** **YOU CHOOSE TO USE HP THIS WAY. GO AWAY. FIND SOME WHERE ELSE TO PLAY.** ●HELLO●HELLO●HELLO●                  Copyright © 2015 Christi Michaels. All Rights Reserved
0
Dec 13, 2015
Dec 13, 2015 at 6:55 PM UTC
●HELLO●HELLO●HELLO●
I shouldn't have dialed your number, when I need someone to listen my babbles and rants, when I feel sick--lonely, close to crying. When I feel empty. I shouldn't have dialed your number, when I'm pained of missing you. When I'm numb. When I'm estatic. I shouldn't have dialed your number, but I want to hear your voice, cuss on me when life gives you ***** laugh with petty-or otherwise- mishaps. I want to be your anchor-- like the old days. Oh, those ******* old days. You shouldn't have answered my call, when you want to hear my voice, when you missed the sound of my existence, when you want to kiss me, hug me-- but you can't. You shouldn't have answered my call, when I need you. I will always need you. You shouldn't have answered my call. You should let it ring, until it became a missed call on your log. You should swipe it to decline. You should throw it on your bed, or to something harder. You shouldn't have answered any of my calls. I called because I missed you. I called because I want the old us. I called because--Damn! I can't live without you, but I should live without you.
0
Oct 7, 2016
Oct 7, 2016 at 1:40 AM UTC
On The Other Line
Tangible sin, its what i'm looking for let the rants and raves begin cause tongues of fire can never settle for a one line poem or a break in tone they need the blood red of wine in their glass these aristocrats drinking from the lower class we are far too outspoken to speak of silence that's something only the seculars teach Maddness, now there's an idea i can get behind Imagine ideas like countries nuclear weapons at their highest state of alert what we believe is what we once held true and whose finger is this on the trigger? then eventually, yes the tyrants will get voted into office doing away with terms and treaties of old eventually you'll get two shoes per person as you read your generation's scripture like truth from the nearest stall bathroom wall for a good time call, God cause he doesn't charge you per hour well, only on sunday mornings nine to noon but for everlasting life who wouldn't drink that elixir? just one more broken promise cause Buddha told me i'd be back again back again to serve in the same platoon of freedom fighters
0
Nov 1, 2011
Nov 1, 2011 at 11:57 PM UTC
Freedom Fighters