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Spin it one more time,
your story is so involving,
I
couldn't
have heard
right.

Repeat it for me,
please.

That's what I thought.

Any other day,
I'd not
say anything,
pretend I
buy your *******.
Today, I can't let it go.

I never ask.
You volunteer.
That
makes
the lying
worse.

Bother someone else,
you ******* *****.
Joshua Michael Aug 2018
I’m sorry I’m sorry
I said, Stepping in
The mental hospital
I’m not right in the head

I’ve been constantly slicing
Cutting through skin
To escape myself
To survive my hell

I wish to see your face
when they finally let me free.
I wish you would write
or call me just once

But for now, just visions of you
While I’m drowning
In my own crimson blood
Tearing
       Splitting
            Ripping
Searching for the key
To this mental prison

The nurse walks away
After haven given
Me some medication
Something to calm me

The straight jacket now
Holding me firm
They put me down
I Sit there an empty stare
  
They filled me up with drugs
keeping my head in narcotic haze.
Pill after pill all day, every day
I am broken and defeated

Paralyzed
Broken
Alone
Sitting here in a mental home.
Its been a few days inside now, i'm finally allowed some time to write and use the computer. Its cold in here, its lonely and they are constantly watching The screams at night are the worst.
Solitude Man Jun 2018
For the man has been changed,
dressing in a mirage and false attire
building a castle in his schizophrenic mind
for so long he guessed it was mist
his mind limboed by their words
'we are architects of the sand filled castle' they scream
they say he uses pity power,
so they tell him his pseudo-castle is bliss

For the man has been changed
the realisation is the ****** in his heart
he was right, their trust is a facade
they say he uses pity power
so they have to stay with him in the hard-times

For a time, I too thought my bed was laid,
unraveled the best wool for this bamboo sheets
all for me to realise that every utterance of love
that came from their lips
was but for them on a pressure cooker; making me the chef
though i took a journey, i started to understand they were never with me
they knock me off my perception stand
my candle light burning without light
though now they do not understand, for when they shall, standing not shall i be
for my heart has taken a bow

For a time, though i have sailed through them endlessly
and became an anaesthetic mind for their sake
for the man has been changed
though they say he uses pity power
this lego victim is the solitude man
and He's back.
Alienpoet Jun 2018
You never see my pain
behind the cold rain
I hide them all the same
A so called ******
I don’t choose to schizophrenic
it’s God’s epidemic
when the cave man called to the divine
when he spoke to the trees
as gods when he believed
did you think the ones who didn’t believe
tormented him yes they probably did
but without looking outside our shell
we can’t see heaven or hell
and if you don’t look science as well.
Joshua Michael Mar 2018
Its the feeling you get when your mind is a war zone, a warped home where grimmy thoughts roam, with no guidance or support zone, your so frightened to fight it on your own. More poems of suicide and self harm, you ever dreamt you died and felt calm? Just a truant mind with health crimes, help cant cure a ruined life in Hell's palms. You fell in to a ditch and because of it popping bottles of pills that you mixing your ***** with, then nodding off a bit picturing god and all of it, a doctors on the phone telling you to ***** it. Consistently monitored, the alcohol, the quiting , the six, seven seizures, its the moment a schizophrenic freezes, hearing a voice that whispers when it pleases, the vigilant bulimic, the obsessive and compulsive,the bipolar mood swing and stomach ulcers. Its the hidden issues that the medicine alters. Its the judgmental that the depression repulses ,the anxiety, the psychs with the notes, the post traumatic stress and the vices to cope. The prices of dope,the ice in the pipe that you smoke. The knife the rope, the temptation of slicing your throat. Its the stigma determined to scare you, when the bourbon your served is your urgent repairer. When not feeling nervous becomes rarer and your mom quits  her job to become your permanent carer. Its the psychotic episodes, the days that you lost seeking help, but being crazy isn't something I am ashamed to admit, so stay strong anybody who relates to this, please.
Seema Dec 2017
The days go by
Yet the truth untold
They say I lie
But the mystery is yet to unfold
I saw the scene I saw it all
He killed that man over the fall
I narrated the whole scene to them
But they say, they needed a clue
A witness of the killing
Someone who was willing
To report the misery
I tried convincing him to believe
But no action taken till the eve
The authorities questioned me the next day
I told them I saw the ****** the other day
Man with a red hood and a track suit
Wearing dark glasses as if aiming for a loot
Within seconds, stabbed the guy and ran away
He didn't see me, and ran off the other way
You have to believe me!!
It's not one of those hallucination
Doctors say I am doing fine with less reaction
"And the officer went away, with a smile"
I knew he didn't believe cause am still under medication
Am a patient of schizophrenic but not a manic
I saw the culprit with my eyes
But all say that my statement were lies
Its been over a month, yet the killing is now a mystery
And soon the files would close, the case a history!

©sim
Spilling imagination. Fictional poetic story.
Chaotic world Aug 2017
I wish I was blind,
It would help ease my mind,
I wonder what it would be like to be blind,
Would I be able to find peace if I was,
Because I’m stuck in the jaws of the devil,
And he’s injecting with his venom,
It makes me see things that aren’t there,
It’s like a forever nightmare,
Where i’m running away from monsters created from my brain,
I try to restrain myself from going insane,
But I can't contain myself from the hurricane in my head,
Instead I let it spread to my heart,
It sets me apart from everyone else,
I wish I can say I was all alone,
That all I did was plug my headphones,
And all my worries just disappeared,
But the reality is I feared to be alone,
No one there allowed for my thoughts to come alive,
Which deprived me from a happy life,
Because I was constantly questioning what was real,
I wanted to seal my eyes shut,
But that wouldn’t stop the whispering in my ear,
It always felt like death was near,
And I figured death wouldn’t be a bad option,
Corruption filled my head,
Which led my imagination to be darkened,
And I became a burden,
I didn’t want to tell anyone I was seeing images,
So hear my words if you aren’t getting my messages,
I am schizophrenic,
And I’m not writing my story for you to feel apologetic,
I write for you to understand,
That there are others like me who try to withstand,
The disease that scares us to open our eyes,
So when our brain paints us a lie,
I pray someone is there to help us realize.
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