Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
Me
I am a freak, that’s what I am. That’s all I am and all I’ll ever be. (I have to embrace it)
Haven’t you been told so? Haven’t you been warned?? Huh???
A rebel from birth. A mental, emotional and spiritual abomination, I pray upon my physical appearance.
Whilst making my image rot from the inside out and from the outside in.

I’m going through phases of my own. I have dark times myself too. Very DARK.
I hate the very sight of this world. I have taken on monsters at times and they've beat me. This time for good.
I can’t take this anymore. I can’t go through this another day, another hour, another minute, another second.
It seems that all I ever do is done in vain. Nothing’s really going to change. Nothing will ever get better.

I’ll end up getting killed by my own stubbornness. By my own rebellious stance and natural lack of self-control.
They say free will does not exist and I agree. We are human-machines in a mechanical universe.
Our fate has been decided. Long time ago. By gods who were unjust. Disgusting. Immoral
How do you expect me to be perfect in a world who has only showed me its ugly face?

Wandering through life without any purpose. Without any kind of cause. Without a calling of some sort.
How am I supposed to rise among the world of men and women and win against them? Like this? Weak?? Defeatist mindset on the go???
I’m so sick of people at the same time. I want to **** everybody. I detest every living being and life itself.
I hate to go on living. I just have to accept that my life will carry on being a shitstorm, like this from now and on.

Who the **** made me like this?? Who messed me up so badly?? Who did it??? ****! (Crying)
Somebody ****** me up real good! Some people ****** me up for life! I want to find out.
And the best revenge would be for them to be annihilated! For life! Yeah! That would be good!
Stupid imbeciles. I hate you. They time will come for when I’m going to rise from this restorative sleep of mine and then you’ll see for yourself. Who the **** am I!

Will this fight ever stop man? I’m tired of going against the grain. Swimming against the river.
Tell me, Oh wise man, what have you learned from life? Is it worth the effort? The pain? The tears??
I don’t know if I’ll ever win this game. Again I don’t know where I’m going or what I want out from all of this? Where do I stand in all of this madness???
Maybe I just need to let all hell to break loose and let go of inhibitions and rules. To imbue my body and actions with the eternal magic, of my darkest self.
Forgive my obscene and intense language.
My brain has been cursed,
you can now see,
The voices and screams are tearing at me,
Her fight at the tower,
A vertical hell,
She climbs over bodies,
drenched in their smell,
This pain it seems endless,
You forget how to think,
Your heart has been pierced
Your strength seems to shrink,
Yet she fights and she fights
for a better life,
She slices her demons,
she outlives her strife,
The question now is,
where is her heart?
It was grabbed by his hand
at the very start.
Now she begs
for it’s safe return,
But when she receives it,
She sees it’s been burned.
Forever branded with his powerful name,
He tossed one more trick,
Into his sick little game.
She cries to the heavens,
For just one more chance.
Like a deathly tango,
A murderous dance.
Yet she can not go,
Back to the start,
She can never ever,
Reclaim her lost heart.
seeing **** that isn’t there,
hearing **** that isn’t real,
memories can’t be trusted.
the shadow people,
that used to scare me,
now long to be dusted.
9 pills down the hatch,
9 pills swallowed to cure me.
they stick inside my throat,
“They’ll start to work soon,
Just be patient.”
as they write another note.
the doses start to increase,
my tongue starts to spasm.
my hands shake as well,
i thought these things
we’re supposed to heal me,
instead I’m in living hell.
“Benefits do outweigh
the horrible side effects”
is what the doctors say.
so I keep on taking them,
choking them down,
every night and day.
but the **** is still there,
i can see it, and I can hear it too.
its plain as day, staring at me.
it’s as real as me and,
wait. are you?
Into madness, fall from sadness,
Struggle just to be.
Is this illusion just a delusion?
This pain envelopes me.
My mind is tangled, heart is strangled,
My demons follow close.
Help me escape, wrapped in red tape,
You’re the demon that haunts me the most.
Leave my skin red and raw,
The scars, they never fade.
Always bleeding, always seething,
Shadows follow night and day.
The figures watch my every move,
Whispers flood my ears.
“I can’t drown my demons, they know how to swim”,
And they know my darkest fears.
The pills are supposed to heal my soul,
So I choke all of them down.
But the bugs still crawl under my skin,
Yet when I look they can’t be found.
I pull at my hair, checking if there
Is some proof that I am sane,
But ****** fingers always tell me,
The problem is in my brain.
Falling from my head
These thoughts that make us worry again
These thoughts that make us wonder again
These thoughts that make us
Falling from my head
This paranoia again
They’re watching us again
They’re always there to
Make me wonder
Am I safe?
Will they catch me?
Will they see?
It always makes me wonder
Can they hear me?
Can they see... Me?
Falling out of time
I dip and try to hide
From the monster I am inside
This monster growing
Makes me wonder,
Am I safe?
Will they catch me?
Will they see?
It always makes me wonder
Can they see?
A Simillacrum Oct 2018
Spin it one more time,
your story is so involving,
I
couldn't
have heard
right.

Repeat it for me,
please.

That's what I thought.

Any other day,
I'd not
say anything,
pretend I
buy your *******.
Today, I can't let it go.

I never ask.
You volunteer.
That
makes
the lying
worse.

Bother someone else,
you ******* *****.
Joshua Michael Aug 2018
I’m sorry I’m sorry
I said, Stepping in
The mental hospital
I’m not right in the head

I’ve been constantly slicing
Cutting through skin
To escape myself
To survive my hell

I wish to see your face
when they finally let me free.
I wish you would write
or call me just once

But for now, just visions of you
While I’m drowning
In my own crimson blood
Tearing
       Splitting
            Ripping
Searching for the key
To this mental prison

The nurse walks away
After haven given
Me some medication
Something to calm me

The straight jacket now
Holding me firm
They put me down
I Sit there an empty stare
  
They filled me up with drugs
keeping my head in narcotic haze.
Pill after pill all day, every day
I am broken and defeated

Paralyzed
Broken
Alone
Sitting here in a mental home.
Its been a few days inside now, i'm finally allowed some time to write and use the computer. Its cold in here, its lonely and they are constantly watching The screams at night are the worst.
Solitude Man Jun 2018
For the man has been changed,
dressing in a mirage and false attire
building a castle in his schizophrenic mind
for so long he guessed it was mist
his mind limboed by their words
'we are architects of the sand filled castle' they scream
they say he uses pity power,
so they tell him his pseudo-castle is bliss

For the man has been changed
the realisation is the ****** in his heart
he was right, their trust is a facade
they say he uses pity power
so they have to stay with him in the hard-times

For a time, I too thought my bed was laid,
unraveled the best wool for this bamboo sheets
all for me to realise that every utterance of love
that came from their lips
was but for them on a pressure cooker; making me the chef
though i took a journey, i started to understand they were never with me
they knock me off my perception stand
my candle light burning without light
though now they do not understand, for when they shall, standing not shall i be
for my heart has taken a bow

For a time, though i have sailed through them endlessly
and became an anaesthetic mind for their sake
for the man has been changed
though they say he uses pity power
this lego victim is the solitude man
and He's back.
Next page