When it's time for the show, words don't flow, rhymes don't show
up in my mind, Lil' ****** up; Havent slept for three days in a row
I could get myself some help but I prefer pills & **** over 'em
Or I could write but nowadays when I scribble, there's no rhythm.
I took a deep breath, sat straight then thought for a minute.
My life is like battletoads, I know I'm never gonna win it
I making bad moves though I've played this many times before.
No cheat codes and my feet won't fit in my shoes anymore.
Feels like I'm losing this game; I wish things could be same
Like 5 years before, now ashamed of myself for what I've became
An ent- the perfect host for everything I once hated the most
Now slowly descending towards The End, I'm there almost
I admit I cut myself from every person who cared for me.
Built a humongous wall all around me and kept storm in
Hopin' to fight it alone instead loneliness fed on me
And as it kept formin', I saw the sky falling down on me
I started callin' friends, Hey! Any plans for tonight, homie?
Why don't you come over? Tonight's drinks are all on me.
As life is a busy *****, most of 'em said- Nope, buddy!
Only silence was there for me and I felt like I'm a nobody.
Felt so hard for me to cope with truth so I used to contradict
all the **** I cooked up; I got hooked up with some derelicts.
I mixed my days with ******' drugs; I became a dope addict.
Drug is the skippin' rope which kept me jumpin'. Stop, Addict!
Okay! This is what I usually do when I see me in front of dead ends
I know I'm not a quitter but I sit there all day long smokin' blunts
A hophead soon to be drop dead, I never make use of my talents.
So many friends I've offended, its time for me to make amends.
When I came back to senses, realized I have fallen already.
All the offenses I did started followin' me, I walked steady.
No one to help me; There are many ways, Where am headin'?
Went from place to place; Somehow I lived but was dead in.
I tried to let all my emotions out on a paper but it never came out
Still don't know who the **** I am or what my life is all about
Feels like livin' on a sinkin' boat, save me please I never shout
Life in motion, deeper than oceans, I'm full of diffidence & doubts
Life is a decoy for pain, it ******' destroys us to be full-blown
Lord give me more choices, sorry I didn't take the path you've shown
All I want is these voices in my head to leave me the **** alone
Please silent these noises, that's all I ask, this you should condone
And I swear to you, rest of the things, I'll take care on my own
Not afraid of being alone, as I know one day we all will be gone
To acheive my dreams, I'll beat my head against any stone wall
Not a thing I'll mothball, all crown galls I'll **** once and for all