i hate feelings
i hate you
i miss you
i want you
but i cant have you
you dont care
you never will
im crumbling
im falling
i cant stop crying
i want to stop
make the feelings go away
i want them to go away
i need them to go away

You're not alone.
Take my hand,
Hold it tight,
Don't let it go until you're ready.
I'll be here when the dark clouds gather around you.
When they do,
Hold me close and don't let go until they're gone.
When they do go,
Keep holding me.
Because I'm not ready for you to let go.

My life changed the moment I met you
The moment you called me yours
The moment I knew I wasn't going to be alone anymore
The moment I knew you were go to be with me no matter what
The moment I felt safe
I felt safe in your arms
I knew my life was in your hands

It's a heavy shadow hanging over me.
It makes feel like I can't catch my breath.
It makes me feel like I'm drowning.
As I try to gasp for air, it only makes my chest tighter.  
It feels like a straight jacket.
It feels like all of my thoughts are laughing right back at me.
Anxiety, it's trying to win.
But, I won't let it.

new house
new view
new neighbors
new faces
but, the same me
nothings new about me
new roads
new twists and turns
but
i'm still the same

She's my best friend
Break her heart
or bring her down
I'll make you regret it immediately.

You ask me if I'm jealous
I shake my head no and smile
When really I'm crumbling inside
With those simple words i feel,
Terrified.
You ask jokingly "can I have a kiss?"
I shake my head and laugh
When really I wanted to yes so terribly.
You ask are you crying?
I shake my head and say no my eyes itch
When really, I'm crying over the fact that you don't feel the same way I do.
My friend tells me to tell you that I love you
But.
I know if I do,
Everything will be ruined.

My love,
My sweet,
My everything,
My friend,
My all...
Why don't you love me back?

Hey mom, hey dad.
Why are we still yelling?
We need to get out of this broken home.
Please don't let me back out into the cold!
Hey mom, hey dad.
Please stop this!
I'm stuck watching these walls fall down.
I'm here alone in this broken home.
When will this end!
I'm done.
Hey mom, hey dad.
When did you lose your happiness?
When did this home become broken!?
Please let it all go!
I want to help, but I'm stuck in between.
Who cares who's fault it is!
I'm still stuck in this broken home.

end me please
i'm sick of it all
i'm done
i'm done with feeling
i'm done with not feeling a thing
i want to end it all.

It's getting colder,
It's getting darker earlier,
When I wake the frost is all on the houses and trees,
When I wake my feet are cold,
When I wake my hands are numb,
It's colder and darker now.
That's because it's lonely falling in Fall.

kitchen floor
thanks for being my dance floor
i cried on the kitchen floor once
i cried over that one guy that one time
but the kitchen floor was still my dance floor in the end

Leave me and my thoughts
Do not bother me anymore
Leave me alone
Goodbye

I met you on a Saturday night,
You were wearing a white and tanish shirt
Skinny jeans
Grey converse  
It that made me sad when I found out you live somewhere else.
Don't know why
I just met you and don't know anything about you
But,
I think you're
Well,
Great

It's a new month
A new day
Yet, the world is still grey.
The leaves are falling more and more everyday.
They're changing and growing
Just like me.
I'm growing.
I'm changing.
It's a new month
A new day,
but, it's still grey.

I know now, that I’m growing up.

I know, because I’m scared one day I will get my heart broken.

I know, because I can’t stop thinking about the future.

I know, because I’m thinking about life outside of my childhood home.

I know, because I think about my future with some else other than family.

I know, because I’m thinking about our future.

you do a good job of blocking things out.
you keep good things going through my head.
you block out the voices all around.
so thanks headphones, youre getting me through stuff.

Stop.
He said he's not going to leave.
Which means he's not.
Stop.
Stop, lying to yourself.
He isn't like the other one.
He's not going to hurt you the other one.
He will not treat you bad.
When he says he loves you he means it.
So stop tell yourself different.

I thought you where great
I knew you would be different than the others
When I met you I fell in love
But it turns out
You're a ****
You lied
You said you loved me
But you really didn't
I knew you where trouble
But I didn't want to except that you where
I wanted to think you where amazing in every way
I watched you lie
I knew you would

I need to know if you're okay.
Please tell me if you are.
I need to know whats going on.
Let me in.
I'm at the door waiting for you to open it.
Just, let me in my love.
I'll always be here.
I'm here waiting for you to let me in the door.
My dear, my love, I'm here.

You walked into the room
I knew I was meant to love you
as I waited and waited for you to notice me
I started seeing the real you and you me
it took awhile for you fall for me
but eventually you did
as we fell deeper and deeper
You became angry with just one word.
You fell deeper as I grow further.
I told you the truth and why?
Because I knew the real you
So I had goodbye
You said you would always love me
But I can't stand another heartbreak
I have to and I will always say Goodbye.

I wish I could make it all go away
Your hurt
His hurt
I wish I could make the tears go away
I wish I could take the feelings away
I wish I could heal all the wounds
Yours and His
But I can't
Only You can
Only He can.
Together.

It's raining and thundering
My cat is meowing
My sister is painting with my other siblings
Moms working on her essay
Dads at work
And me
Well, I'm worrying about when am I going to finish my school so I can read my book.

its your birthday today.
you were the first boy to like me back
turns out you're a real *******
you moved away and fell for someone else
i don't miss you even though i tell you that i do
you're happier
even though you said you'd never would be without me
you lied
and thats okay
i dont miss you
im glad you're finally growing up
but
you still need more birthdays

You've changed so much since we last spoke.
You could have come to me if needed.
You didn't have to follow those people.
I would have welcomed you with open arms.
I know you weren't thinking when you did it.
I bet you're sad now.
I wish I could have been there with you to stop you.
I promise, next time I will not let that happen again.

I see monsters
in my head
each night when I close my eyes
There they are again
with there sharp teeth snarling at me.
help!
please!
Save me from the monsters.
Save me from these monsters.
Save me from my monsters.

Weird, yet dangerous contraptions.
They produce words that can be sweet like honey
or deadly like a bullet from a machine gun.

I'm drowning in my own thoughts.
Every time I lay in bed
My thoughts are only of you
I want to be of something else
But, once I start to think of you, I can't stop
I think of how many times you've made me laugh
How many times you've made me cry
And I think of many times you're going to make me want to scream.
But the words I scream are "I hate you!"
When all I want to scream is "I love you."

The new kid
He's younger than I
He just moved here
But he's lived here before
So he's not really new
But he's new to me
He's smart
He has kind eyes
He has a kind spirit
And I think he's gonna be alright

buzz buzz* my phone goes off
3:02 am on the clock.
It's you agian.
Every night
At the same time
With the same message
Then a tap tap tap at my window.
I freeze.
buzz buzz "Please, let me in"
I text back "no"
tap tap tap
This time a voice
"Let me in."
I'm frozen.
3:04 am.
He's gone.
He'll be back
He always comes back.

It’s been awhile.
I haven’t heard from you in so long.
Do you think of me?
Because I think of you.
I think of what was.
I think of how we lost this.
What we had was fun.
What we had was great.
But according to you.
It was all fake.
I remember the good times.
I remember the bad ones too.
But most of all.
I think of how things could’ve been.
How they would be.
But,
It’s over now.
I’ve moved on.
But,
Old friend.
I will never forget you.
Now we have parted ways.
And I hope you’re doing okay.

How did I get here?
Am I alive?
I feel weightless, almost like the dust on a lamp.
How did I get here?
All I see is darkness.
Why?
I know I'm not dead.
So where am I?
And why am I here?
and more importantly, how did I get here?

Remember the pain you felt?
Pure burning pain.
Pain that hurt so much you never thought it would stop.
The pain of your heart shattering
The pain of your heart losing someone they cared so much about
The pain of knowing that you might not ever get them back
Pure burning pain.
The pain that you inflicted on yourself because you saw no other way of dealing with the pain in your heart.
The pain that you were so afraid to talk about because you were afraid of what the people cared about most would say.
You were so afraid of them leaving you when all they wanted to do was help you.
They saw your pain they wanted to take it away from you.
But you didn't let them .
You gave in more and more to the pain and kept hurting yourself more and more
until,
You couldn't anymore.
You gave in,
Asked for help,
You healed.
And sweet girl,
Guess what,
the pain has subsided
Now,
You are no longer broken,
You are no longer afraid,
You are no longer alone .
You are so loved
You are seen for who you are and not the person you were.

The world is falling into darkness,
We need to let some light in,
The world is crying out "COME AND SAVE US!"
We're scared to go outside,
We want to stay away from the problem,
But, the problem is all around us.
The problem is you and me, it's us.

I never thought these feelings would come as fast as they did.
They haunt me in my dreams.
Please save me from them.
I want them to disappear like the sun during a storm.
I need them to go away.
Make them go away.
I'm not ready for another heartbreak.
I'm not ready to fall back in love.
I can't fall in love.
Well, just not with him.

let me sleep

You wander around the forest looking for your next meal..
You're silent, as you wander alone in the forest.
You smelled a lovely sensation, and walked toward it.
You came across a little cabin in the forest, where a small family lived.
You looked into the window and saw a little girl sitting in the window sill
You thought to yourself, "dinner?"
She looked back at you and said with a soft voice,
"You're a sly little fox aren't you? Now, go home to your family, before my father see's you."
He did, but not right away, he stared, and listened, and did as she said.

Go ahead,
Make it look like everything is okay.
When you know it's not.
Go ahead,
Put that fake smile on so people don't see the tears behind your eyes.
Go ahead,
Fake that laugh so no one can hear you crying for help.
Go ahead,
Act all tough so no one can see you crumble.
Go ahead and smile.

Why didn't bother asking me?
Did you not think I would care?
Did you think I wouldn't see?
Did you think it wouldn't hurt me?
I wish you would have thought before you acted.
I wish you thought of me.
Why didn't you?
You didn't even consider asking me.
And now I have to act like I don't care.
All I have to do is smile and you'll think I'm fine.

My thoughts are darker now
My heart is heavier now
I feel alone
Alone...
I feel empty
I have no words
I want sleep
Sleep gets rid of the thoughts
Sleep makes everything stop
Just for a little bit
Make everything stop

its hella hot

"I'm not a piece of cake or meat!
I am a person with feelings and emotions!
And you go around shattering those feeling and emotions!
I go home feeling like I will never be enough for you!
I wish you could see that I love you.
But, you go ahead and call me names and make fun of everything I do!
You make me think I should just leave this place!
Because maybe that would make you finally see me.
and if that is the only way, so be it!"

You can talk to me
You know that, right?
You don't have to keep me in the dark.
You can tell me what's going on.
You can tell me what's going through your head.
Tell me what's hurting you or who's hurting you.  
Don't keep me in the dark.

I have many tattoos
Not physically on my body
But on my heart
The tattoos are peoples names
They're the people I care about most
The people who are going to be tattooed on my heart for the rest of my days.

I lay in bed with tears in my eyes,
thinking of you,
missing you,
wanting you.
The tears fall onto my pillowcase when I think of you.
They say it gets better.
Then why do the tears keep coming?
Why hasn't it got better?
I want the tears to stop falling on my pillow.
I want the tears to stop coming.
But, they won't stop.

I hate not being able to call you mine.
You always say "Don't Be Sad"
When you're the reason I'm crying.
You love her.
And not me.
I wish I was the one you were holding in your arms.
But then I see how perfectly she fits in your arms.
All I can do is cry and never tell you you're the reason why.
All I can do is sit here watch you love her
And watch you slowly break my heart in two.