it must be so, so amusing to the gods
to bear witness to humanity
and its ability to fall in love
with the ones who seem most unlikely
and yet never so easily with oneself
it must bring them endless mirth
to see us adore in others
what we despise in our own selves
to kiss away a beloved's tears
with the same mouth we use
to curse our own existence
The loneliness does get to me sometimes
It feels like I'm dead inside
I have many names on my phone
But none of which I can feel at home
I can't play my own music in the car
Because my bluetooth system is ******
So I listen to the sound of my thoughts
And let them eat me up inside out
The sky is so bright
But I feel gloomy inside
What's my mother up to?
I'll call her up instead
I look around me
Everyone has someone with them
I'm the only one alone
But I've gotten used to this
I used to have someone I could talk to
And do anything I wanted with
But he also made me miserable
And had me questioning my existence
I let him go for my own sake
Sometimes I wonder if that was a mistake
Maybe the loneliness is okay
Compared to the pain and despair I used to feel all day
i'm so glad that you are happy
i'm not the reasons behind it.
Don't you love it when they say
" I love you"
" I ain't never gonna leave you"
We all know that those are lies.
Nobody is ever really fine
Everything takes little time//
Even the bad things//
It's how you approach a situation that gives the moment light//
I'm laying down thinking of ideas to make some kind of money with what I do//
But it's the same as me asking you to pay me for pooping//
This just happen//
Words come together and this connection between me and you....(happens)//
Just like that.... I wonder if you're okay//
Or if anything is..... because sometimes the world turns upside down and we can only live through the change//
It's Friday, 1:30 AM.... (my love is asleep)//
I wonder if she's snoring//
Part of me wants to continue making this thing people call art.... part of me is still trying to untangle the ropes holding me back from being (more)//
At least I know, I'm never less... at lest I think so//
On nights like these I miss him more
When he's asleep early
And I'm left alone
With my disorderly sleeping pattern
And nothing but my thoughts
While I watch a new TV series on Netflix
That I know he will really enjoy
Time seems to be running really slow
When I want it to run faster
I know it's a bit dramatic of me
Because it hasn't been that long
But I can't seem to remember
What it feels like to even be at his presence
However, there's nothing more
That I yearn for
Than to be at his presence
His cat sleeps next to me while I game
I think she feels at home with me
I used to find her really irritating
But she's grown to me and it's because
She's the closest thing I have of him
When I'm eating at our favourite place
With my friends who I can never
Emotionally connect with
I wish I could just call him up
And tell him to join us
He's a thousand miles away
And sometimes I think I'm crazy
For everytime I see a grey Suzuki Swift
I hope it's him
I thought I've gotten over the pain of being
So far away from him
But everytime I see or hear something
That reminds me of him, even slightly
I start tearing up
I'm so weak
I wish he was here
Sometimes I think of you
And it's not something I really want
When I start with "I remember when-"
Or our favorite songs come on.
It's weird because we spent a year
Basically living in the same clothes
And shoes, and housesandcars
But now who even knows
I try not to think about it
Or get all ******* up over it again
Because then I get a bit hurt
Because it really shouldn't have happened
Not that way,
Because we were supposed to get tattoos
And college educations
But I guess as kids, everything pretty much just ends
So maybe you'll see this
And maybe you won't
And maybe that's okay
Because I don't want to care, and I guess really don't
my brain has space,
what else can i do,
think about you.
like outer space.
******* up thoughts.
like when we stop
i think over
everything you said.
how i could have
said it over
without thinking too hard.
like everything i do.
i need to come down from the high sky,
emerge from my fantasies and live life,
but it's so terribly difficult. why?
i feel high all the time,
as if nothing is real
perhaps it's not real...
i can see my whole life falling,
falling, falling, falling to ****,
but still, in my clouded mind,
i can do nothing to stop it all.
it takes time. time to sober up.
but how can i become sober,
when i was never truly high
to begin with? it's all in my head
and how much time do i have?
*one can go up for eternity,
but there's only so far you can fall.