My heart thumps
Eyes fill with tears
They roll down my face
My chest is tight
I can't breathe
I sit in the corner of my room
Waiting for for the panic to pass
An hour passes and I'm finally calm.

Trees grow big and strong
they make the air clean for us
they're providers of shade when the sun is high
they let children play on their branches  
a safe place
they become new in the fall
yet they stay the same.

Today, something changed in you
You became a different person when I saw you
When you opened the door you seemed sad
Down
Angry
It made me miss the old you
The happy you
The smiling you
I want you be yourself agian.
The person I know and love.

We walked around
We talked the whole time
Your smile made me nervous
Every time you messed with your hair it made my knees weak.
You're everything I look for
You said let's do this again
The weird part is
I haven't seen you in two years
And it felt like I saw you yesterday
You're blue eyes looking in my green eyes
When you would just look at me and listen
You would smile when I made a dumb joke
I want to see him again
The blonde haired and blue eyed boy

I can't breathe.
I'm panicking for no reason.
It hurts my chest when I inhale and exhale.
I try to calm down, but nothing works.
I stand up and sit back down.
But still nothing is working.
I start to pace around my room.
Then I think "You're gonna be fine."
Heart rate starts slow down.
Breathing becomes normal.
You're fine.
Then the panicking finally stops.

You say "You're worth it",
They why do I feel so worthless?
You say "You're beautiful",
Then why do I feel like I need to hide my face?
You say "It's gonna get better",
Then why hasn't it?
Tell me why...

It's been a while,
Things have changed.
She left him.
I'm still trying to figure life out.
School *****.
I cried a lot.
I met someone but , I'll never see him.
I was really ******* yesterday.
I had fun on Saturday.
Ice cream was fun with you.
I ran away from him.
That's all.

I want your insecurities,
fears,
smiles,
jokes,
hugs,
tears,
heartbreaks,
mis­takes,
sarcasm,
pains,
joys.
I want you and everything that comes with you.

Winter is here.
It's getting colder.
I hope it snows.
I want it to snow.
We have a fire going and it's keeping me warm,
But, I wish it was you keeping me warm.

It's not cold,
It's 57 degrees on December 14th, 2015.
I want it to be cold.
I want it to snow.
But knowing Tennessee,
It's going to snow in March.

I wish I told you how I felt
I wish,
I wish I said I love you before you left
I wish,
I wish you felt the same way
I wish,
I wish you would love me like you love her
I wish,
I wish I was her
I wish,
I wish you cared.
But, you never will

I wonder if he smiles at me like I smile at him.
I wonder if he looks at me like I look at him.
I wonder if he thinks of me when I think of him.
I wonder.....
Does he love me like I love him?
Because I think love him.

i can't find the words to say these days
the words escape me
where did they go?
on the tip of my tongue
then in the back fo my throat
or pushed so far back into my mind that i forget who they were for
wouldn't it just be easier to say "i'm not fine anymore"
but i was the other day and now my anxiety is swallowing me whole
my thoughts grow louder and louder yet i still can't find the words to say.
i wish it was easy
i wish i could scream I'M NOT OKAY ANYMORE
but even if i try the words turn into whispers and all i can say is
i'm just fine.

Hello? Are you there?
I want to be seen by you.
I want to be heard by you.
I want to be held in your arms.
I want to be hugged by you.
I want to hold hands with you.
I need you to see me, hear me.
I need you to want me.

Wondering if you miss me like I miss you.
I wonder why you left me.
Why did you leave me for her!
I miss you.
But, at the same time I don't at all.
You make me so angry!
I wish I could tell you how I feel!
But, you wouldn't care.
All you would do is smile and turn away.
I wish you knew how I felt.
But, you never will.
And that's okay.

Too cute
You guys are too cute
Always talking
Always saying nice things to eachother
Making eachothers day
Ew...
I mean it's cute, but gross