Her Jun 15
I use to think
love was empty bottles
of tequila and red bull

I use to think
love was salty liquid
seeping down my throat

I use to think
love was
self hatred

it wasn't until
that I realized

love is soft lips
love is smiles while kissing
love is dancing and singing
to each other in the crowd of
a band neither of us really knows
love is words filled with meaning
the morning after
love is wanting to tell you
every bit of my day
love is having you as my best friend
and even more

love is you,
Her Jun 11
love does not hurt
love does not paint your body
into a mural of blues and purple
love does not raise his hands in anger
love does not use your weakness against you
love does not scare you into making choices
love does not isolate you from your
friends and family members
love is not you, John
Her Jun 11
i waited for you
to swallow your pride
but all you did
was choke on it
Her May 10
i finally have everything
i have ever wanted
in a human

yet it does not feel enough

he is kind
he is caring
he is artistic
he is hard working
he puts in so much effort for me

yet he is not you
he will never be you
i know that
i understand that

but fuck
this is so hard

i am petrified
i will never feel
the way you made me feel
Her May 1
i have tried to fill
the cracks within my soul
with coconut oil
in hopes that it might
one day soften my sharp edges
and fill these empty voids
with meaning

i have tried to fill
the cracks within my soul
with cement
in hopes that it might
one day make me stronger
so no one could ever hurt me

it wasn't until
the coconut oil seeped
to the ground and
the cement crumbled
within the first earthquake of emotions
did i realize

these cracks within my soul
that i have spent years
of my life trying to cover up
make me who i am today

and that is enough
Her May 1
the cage of
my own making
made up of bones
and my own self hatred
has combusted at
the first touch of
self love

my bones dissolved
as the love poured
over them
the self hatred oozed
from the cracks
and escaped my body
never to be seen again

for the first time in years
peace flooded my brain
finally all that was left

m e
Her May 1
the fear of emotion
got me here
walls white
like the movies
no sane soul in sight

the fear of emotion
got me here
my soul has
turned to stone
nothing hurts
me anymore

the fear of emotion
got me here
lifeless rotting away
at the core

i am ready for it all
to be over now

life without emotion
is not a life worth living
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