5d han
Bret

I do not have a happy song.

I just bathe in whatever it is
I decide to feel that day.

I sit at my window seat
and watch the train ride backwards
while the trees and hillsides shoot in front of me
as though each leaf and branch were being spawned
and that if I were to look behind me
there would be nothing to see.

A simulation
ran by an absentee landlord
who forgot he left the game running
who forgot he left the oven on.

Someone asks me how I'm doing
and I just say very sad because sometimes
I forget that I pretend to be a poet on the internet
and that I know better words to describe it other than very sad
but why bother when you come to the same conclusion.

I do not have a happy song.

I just bathe in whatever it is
I decide to feel that day.

Disclaimer: This makes me sound way more depressed/depressing than I am. I'm fine, I promise. Just a shitty day I guess?
han 5d

‘What would you do if we were no more?’
You told me you’d be sad
and you’d cry
That’s really all you said
I was shocked
If you left I’d fall apart
right onto the ground
Each piece of me would lie at your feet
It’s sad, but true
I would shatter and be engulfed
I’m more dependent on you
than I’d like to ever admit

November 16th~han
han 5d

I want to be independent
yet I have attachment issues
I say I don’t want to be helped
yet I need help all the time
I always know what the answer is
but I always ask questions
I am a sensible person
but I make no sense

November 16th~han
han 5d

I apologized for the way I was
he accepted my apology
I guess I should be glad,
but apart of me hoped
he’d tell me I did nothing wrong
I think I’m really selfish
without meaning to be
He can’t understand my pain
I feel it so deeply
I wish I were lighter like he is,
but I cannot be
I’ve tried and I apologize
then again I don’t know why
I apologize for what I am

November 16th~han
han 5d

He is the sun
I am the moon
He’s attracted to me
because I’m wild and dark
I wonder if he realized
I’d unintentionally take his sunshine

November 16th~han
han Nov 12

There is no home here
Only four walls
and an echo of yelling
There is no comfort here
only selfishness
There is no stability
only cracked foundation
There was no childhood here
mostly just rough times
There is no dad
just a man who sits in his place
There is no money
only enough to scrape by this month
There is no peace
only violence and unhappiness
There is no contentment from me
just longing to leave
and I envy all those who had these things
If home is where the heart is
I have none

November 11th~han
Next page