You left room to follow
Bitter tears to swallow
All your fear came
Cascading down
And you could not feel the ground

Heartbreak stood to greet you
Came close to defeat you
In a penny
In a pound
Your bruises don’t make a sound

It hurts to continue
Love blurry, out of view
How do you save
What can’t be found?
Wish I knew that right now

I cannot repair you
You’d never ask me to
I see bruises
Eyes tear bound
Yet you press on somehow

Darling, you are a song
Sorrowful, but so strong
I’ll whisper goodnight
Kiss your brow
And love the tearful clown

Words I have are few
With only some the exception
For words just seem
To flee from me
When you look my direction
And I know you are divine
But I know you aren’t perfection
And maybe those wings you have
Are just of my own perception

Your lips are tender pink
Your eyes like amber honey
With untold stories
Of all your glory
Told in a smile that outweigh gold or money
I am well aware you are open box
Slightly used with dents in view
But your worth still shows beyond worldly stains
Each time I look at you

Given the chance, I’d touch your hand
Given time, I find the words
The bonds I’d break
And risks I’d take
To make known, to be heard
In divine imperfections, love
In such complexities, you
Let action dictate everything
And let these words be few

You are as you were
No more needing to be said
With eyes that bore tears in joy and sadness
And heart that consistently bled
And mine and your hands locked together
To brave life’s twisted sense of humor
And I knew that, in that, we’d overcome the world

We were never perfect
That’s needing to be heard
Ever present were these jars of truth
Bitter tasting, well preserved
With hands clasped we understood it could not be fathomed
As we locked eyes, yes, words, yes, but never hearts

Maybe that’s the good in it
A gift in cross’ed stars
The reality of a ever present door
That we both know is ajar
The knowing that the hand we hold can build the other up
With the power that so easily can rip us apart

You were the one I’d always wanted
I was the one you leaned upon
With me not knowing what you were
And your faith in your strength long gone
My love for you unending, understated, undeterred
And your love for me one undoubted, but for me undetermined

Each time you speak I hear you
This world’s distraction become blurred
You serve your homemade truths
And I swallow every single word
Can’t decipher lies because I know only what you convey
And in that, you’re the most honest person I know

Our views of each other work
On the level that was stand
Where we get to choose what we convey
As we offer each other a hand
The preachings of the lying tongue and giving of stolen things
An knowledge of the mystery forever kept

Maybe this is not worth the chance
Our self destructive ways
The pure carnage we could leave behind
In our search to escalate
Satan’s aspirations to rise are what led to the fall
So maybe to stay divine, we must stay content

And so we look, we taste, we hear
And we feel that that’s enough
Maybe in leaving the uncertain just that
The relationship is safe from us
Or maybe this is just the lie we earnestly believe
In fear that the rise will be more painful than the fall

I write about you as if doing so will make you real
Haven’t met you, yet I know how you make me feel
Or maybe the reality is I have and the want is from memory
Pen to paper should imitate passion inked on you by me

No doubt that I am foolish, time winds and leaves us scarred
As if contradicting doors with a dozen locks, yet still ajar
Reminiscent of bruised fruit, but the heart only feels hunger
With you satiating the wanting and the ever driving wonder

And the poetry has gone on so long I know not if your real
I have no regrets, as the pen bleeds only what I feel
My mind like a drunken witness with an unreliable memory
With that in mind, I paint dripping words with my visions of you and me

Whoever you may be

Machiavellian in the way you step
Sultry temptations
Slow drag on the coffin nail called life
Slight correlation
How sweet for the world to bend for you
Scuffed to the knees
With a smile reminiscent of crocodile
She walks dangerously
At threat in every sense of the word
Fluent in her wiles
Innovation in internal investigation
Transcends the mile
Deliberate in the introspective
Oil and grease the machine
Poised and confident to represent her perspective
Effectively

Dearly beloved
Bless’ed the fall
The unbroken fever
The irrational action

Deprive yourself
Transcend your need
Disregard shaking weariness
Stand so they may rest

Drown in the flood
Pour our more than you consume
Value in the poverty
Worth in the humility

Warm with the sticks
Support with the stones
Build from broken pieces
Take note of blood and blister

Twisting tongue, rest
Worried mind, ease
Torn heart, stitches
At a table with room for just two

Dearly beloved
Death due, all parts
Gather these feeble visions
Make something greater from the least

May this be the vow

Dot my skies with car lights
Zooming in from light years away
Stain the night with moon beams
Put me amidst the cool breeze
Let me sing songs with you

You sing slightly off key
Showing me imperfect perfections
Melody through the trees
The earth is breathing softly
To not impede the smile of you

Nighttime holds me closely
Not as well as I hold you
Putting this moment to mem’ry
Brain silently etching
In this way I won’t let go of you

Things are always fading
Nothing last in the passage of time
So chart the dotted car light
Nothing forever, nothing finite
Only fleeting breath with you

Is this not the greatest gift
Blinking seconds spent in song
Notes in between the moments
What it all represents
An investment worthy of you

Shades of purple
Come out easily
Purple displays strength well known
Those types of arms that feel like home

She writes in cursive
Unique calligraphies
They translate in depth, you sink
Leagues and oceans upon paper and ink

Fights the wild things
They mistake her for one of their own
And though untamed she may be
She stays vigil, her own she oversees

Shade always seems the same
A book in volumes under lock and key
If you read what bled through you might worry, so
She gives you only what you need to know

Always purple
Different hues now and then
She will always be your solid ground
Even when her world is crumbling ‘round

I will be broken on Thursday
It’s a factual thing to say
You may try to dissuade me
But I know, ‘cause I’m broken today

Offer your words and your sympathies
The cracked, the chipped china cup
Lips try to kiss back missing pieces
And so often they end up cut

I will be broken on Thursday
In filled rooms or all alone
Proclaim how you empathize
But it’s a burden I bear on my own

The smile I project onto my face
Is not to repair me, but you
Love is never lost in the efforts conveyed
But there’s only so much you can do

I will be broken on Thursday
A consistently cracked state of mind
Tuesday disappointing, Wednesday disjointed
But Friday has yet to decide

Gasping
Lack of breath
Grasping
Scared to death
No defense
Don’t even know what’s wrong

Listless
Feather in the gale
Distress
Existence so frail
Please don’t blink
I’m afraid that you might miss me

Unkempt
Unorganized at best
Present
Yet behind nonetheless
Minutes written down
In a ledger I will see too late

Run down
Try to keep together
Sinking ground
Trying to be better
Humanity
Catching up more and more

Prevailing
You were supposed to be there
Five foot three with brunette hair
With eyes that held the kind of stare
That could strip these walls down

Bring me back to ground

Sounding words out to make sure the emphasis
Is on the feeling I found I missed
Which you showed me within a kiss
That was some thing new
Temporary bliss

And now you’re this

Prospect
There’s a new perspective
Mission statements paint directives
As I dive into introspective
To make sure intents are pure

Is this intense? Well, sure...

So long a heart obscure
Feelings, malady and cure
Potent potions cause commotions
That I must endure
In an analysis of myself
So I might be worthy of the wealth
That comes in the form of a girl
Of a gift beyond this world
Coveted amongst any and all
The darkness broken by creeping dawn

A hope that you may text back
But a knowing that you’re
Gone

There was
Dismay
In the everyday
And a wishing
That the wind
Would
Carry her
To another life
Where the world was
Less than
The backpack of
Rocks
That she carried
That she carries
Uphill
To
This
Day
Double loaded
Packed so tightly
That it could break
And break her
Any moment
And take time
That she never had
In
The
First
Place
One of a million millions
Scattered faces
Nothing special
To anyone
Especially them
Especially
Her-
Self
In a moment
It would replay
In the morning
But still she
Gets
Out
Of
Bed
And for that alone
Dismay is her weight
And she’s strong

Distant memories
Fluctuating crescendos
I would let them go
But they’re already well past gone

Is this moving on?
Involuntarily ripping
Steady stripping
Of all I deem near
Of all that seems dear
It rises, then falls
Like thoughts of the shore

When was the last time
It filled your lungs
The scent of a happy day
The taste of that fleeting moment

Who was there that made it all
Worth it

Perfect

And do you chase them?
Though they’re nowhere in sight

If I break my heart then I can share pieces with you
And with the state of mind I’m in, it seems the thing to do
But what if you take the biggest one and leave the rest of me behind?
Will my eyes open wider or will my intentions leave me blind

What if I were to give my best as so often we are taught
Only to find that your affection is not one gained, but bought
Will my pockets imitate my hands, my heart, and emptiness ensue
For me to come to the conclusion my best is not enough for you?

You left me scatter brained from the first, the very sight
A consistent fact that proves itself by keeping me up at night
Losing someone requires that you had them in the first place
And the silence insists on lessons gained and pieces gone to waste

These are broken days
Breaking days
And we succeed
By simply keeping
It all together
It mostly together
Some of it together
Seconds tearing us apart

I want to be there
How is your heart?

Parting words in days
Quickly departing days
As we succeed in
Doing something
Finding somewhere
Wanting enough that
The doing gets done
When eyes open
And we choose to get out of bed

And out of our own heads
Amidst the stress and lonesomeness

Rise from the lonely days
Though lonely, lovey days
As we succeed with
Each breath
Each breath taken
And those we donate it to
No matter the task
No matter the mission
To look at a world of spiraling hate
And to choose
The shortest distance
Between a supply and demand of love

To find the straight line
Love as the crow flies

He won a long time ago
Something I failed to see
And I lost what I never had
Foolish, persistent me

There was no contest
Yet the loss feels the same
A simple slip was all it took
And it’s an utter shame

And I’ll blame me though you will it not
These are how these things go
Three word meant you were lost to me
As the fight came down to blows

He won a long time ago
It was never up to me
You love was written, you heart was given
And it took up to now to concede

The symptoms, I can see
What’s hard’s to find the malady
There are problems arising
And the thought so paralyzing
I fit in perfectly
In the drawer of expired batteries
Can’t find a use, but I’m still working
Though I don’t mask well the hurting

There’s no mistaking me
A 6’2” catastrophe
Not the favorite, but I’m up there
Just don’t read my list of errs
I no longer apologize for myself
Though I’m not opposed to some help
These wings are malting, I don’t fly
But I aspire for the sky

Can you see me falling
Though on air seems like I’m walking
The open wounds masquerade as scars
I’m walking strongly, but not that far
Partial truth are still lies
Yet they’re sung lullabies
I’m trying to find truth in me
And am sometimes left out to bleed

The only apparent cure for this
Is to live my life and do my best
But life looks soft, but rubs on rough
And sometimes best is not enough
A prophet for thing in hindsight
A tympanum of unjust and unright
Crawling from the weight of memories
To hope and find the malady

(Verse 1)
Part
Ways

I would have bet my last dollar
You’d
Stay

Hues
Fade

Feeling things that you once
Delayed

Suffering
I’ve had my share
Before

But what do I do (do I do)
If you’re not there no more

(Verse 2)

You were composed of
Sun
Rays

Lighting up my kitchen
Floor

Fingertips graze
Places you won’t be
Memories

(Chorus)
I know that your dead and cold
So why won’t you leave?

Buried with my heart long ago
Give it back to me

(Verse 3)
Tear
Dry

Only because I’ve none left
To
Cry

Oh
You’ve gone yet you reside

Doors shut
But windows wide

Weakness
I confess
I’ve felt these things before

But what I went through
Does not compare to
What I go through
Without you anymore

(Chorus)
I know that you’re dead and cold
But I don’t want you to leave

This isn’t how this song should go
A “me” meant to be “we”

I know that you’re dead and cold
Why can’t you be with me?

You were my ultimate goal
So now I’m just losing

(Verse 3)
I can’t remember how to sleep
Without you beside me
You’re imprint
In my mattress
In my soul

My heart took so much time
To let you inside
Tell me a secret
How do I
Let you go?

(Chorus)
I know that your dead and cold
So why won’t you leave?

Buried with my heart long ago
Give it back to me

I know that you’re dead and cold
But I don’t want you to leave

This isn’t how this song should go
A “me” meant to be “we”

I know that you’re dead and cold
Why can’t you be with me?

You were my ultimate goal
So now I’m just losing

Just losing...

Just losing...

Losing you...

You will never break me
I can do that by myself
I’ve seen in my life’s undertaking
There’s very chances at help

Every moment is waking
Even when eyes are closed
As I slumber, the ground is quaking
What I’ll wake to, I don’t know

There will always be this fear
Just in different increments
Anxiety dwelling near
And the things it presents

No pity is wanted
This is said for understanding
There caverns of my mind are haunted
By wound, by weight, by branding

Don’t even try to push me
I am falling just fine
I’m not expecting any cushioning
But there’s a slight hope I’ll fly

The wings have yet to sprout out
Whether they will or not, who knows
We all crash, of that there is no doubt
But from it, not all of us grow

Hello
Hi
I know
It’s me again
Sans the smoke and mirrors
Away from spaces in my head

And again and head don’t rhyme
But I didn’t need to say that
My self analyzing ways
Were in a haze
But made their way back

And I’d be impressed with myself
If there was some sense of pride in me
For each time
I grab said prize
It forces insides outside of me

And rhyming me with me?
Come on, man, that was simply lazy
Hazy
Crazy
Amazing
Maybe
No, you’ve got it, baby

Use it to the maximum
Forget minimally
But what if
Amidst these rhyming riffs
They see the real me

Do they see the real me?
There’s not a chance
It’s blasphemy
Because my armor, then would be
A holy one... almost gaping

People often ask me what my poetry’s about
They point like
“Oh?”
And I’m like
“No”
And they just question
As words pour out
And they move and they burn
And they twist
And I’ve learned
Not matter which way they’re turned
They’re about things that don’t last

They’re about loves torn asunder
About fires, rain, and thunder
Like that song
By Stevie Wonder
They’re the “Joy Inside My Tears”

And they lower and boost my fears
With all of their rusted gears
So I feel movement
A shift I hear
And yet I find it just still
Here

Hello
Hi
I know
It’s me again
This same ******* rut
That undercuts
These roots from sinking in

And the smoke and mirrors
The music
The light show they all go dim
I throw them to the floor
And the mirrors
Show me him
And he is me
But who am I
And...

...I’m sorry... I didn’t mean to shout
The truth is I’m not sure who my poems are about
They always hold some part of me
Hoping, despairing, living, dying
Some are etched
In stone-thrown rage
And some just leave me crying

Potential wins and consistent loss
They’re what fill my pen
Some acknowledgement to
A God who is always good
But a world that’s not my friend

And the struggle of my color
And the ripping of my heart
And the feebleness
Of my intellect
As I play this brief part
As I suffer
As I benefit
As I laugh
As I bleed

As I say hi
Hello
It’s me again
Just me

Does moonlight impede you
Do you get the full view
Of the
Sun that lies within

It’s so hard to read you
You see, in the read-though
Of the
Book the dialect changed

Your shoulders are heavy
And you never feel your ready
Slow and steady
Slow

This isn’t a race
So why is your heart still racing
Beats seemingly replacing
Time

Time is a construct
Look towards the home front
It is
Always somewhere near

The night brings such sorrow
You feel no hope for tomorrow
It is
Storm clouds in your head

Raindrops on your pillow

And I will give this parting word
Knowing you’ll never hear it
But love, as they say, is a verb
So my action’s to lift your spirit
To know that breath escapes my lungs
To do what I must to meet you lips
The twisting of unspeaking tongues
The grazing of unworthy fingertips

Parting is an ever aware
And unwelcome party guest
A weight that drives and despairs
Bringing tension to my chest
Though I would press ten times such costs
To say these vocalize such words
Of love, of want, and of inevitable loss
Of things ceasing to be heard

You are more
Beautiful
More brilliant
Reminiscent of stars
And librarians
With their glasses
Hooked on strings

And yet I am
Here
Wait for you
To notice me
To find me
To love
Something
About me

And you speak to me
And post your
Little
Self deprecating
Harmful
Hurtful
Thoughts
Of how you’re
Unloved and alone

The room
You’ve locked yourself
In
Is shut
Unopened
Do not disturb
With walls lined
In black

But with
The light off
And your hands
Over your
Beautiful
Wide
Tear-filled eyes
You fail
To see me
Wanting to
Love you

And by her eyes you know she’s curious
In a world jammed full and furious
How she could be something more to anyone but herself

How her voice could be heard amongst the crowd
Or her head be kept under the clouds
How she’s more than just one of the a billion on the shelf

She would sit ever so properly
Trying to be the best that she could be
And the days would leave and greet her where she’d stand

But the princes were for fairytales
In a world that crushed things that were so frail
If they didn’t turn to dust in her own hands

The dragons growing more real each day
With breath of hot terminal dismay
And she was no hero, she was barely her

No sword appearing in her hand
No puzzle in which to understand
The reality that existed, so absurd

And she could give it all up now
Fade to black and take her bow
She could exit such things and just be gone

But she was very curious
In a world of the superfluous
What exactly kept her moving on

Some days
She finds
Herself
Vacant
One
Self-destruct switch
Away
From
A life
Her own
But different

The steps
She takes
So delicate
As not to
Hurt
Still leave
Craters
In living room
Floors
Unmistakable

But better
Are craters
Of shrapnel
Than to be
Stagnant
Feet embedded
In a place
Where she
Finds
Only vacancy

She paints such things
That the world thought it knew
But in such a way
That each color, each hue
Each texture, so surreal
It transcended the real
And gave off the feel
Of Monique

Born of the embers
Of undiscovered stars
With eyes that would shine
Amidst streetlights and cars
And then outshine the day
With a brilliant array
As if this world, it spake
Of Monique

Emulating sunrises
With beauties of sunsets
A smile on her face
That no soul would forget
Each whisper a symphony
Embedded in history
The untold, renowned mysteries
Of Monique

Prophet and poet
Both will rise and will fall
The words of greats and kings
Will then fade, all in all
Yes the universe sings in praise
Compilations all raised
On the beautiful shades
Of Monique

My voice is cracking
My eyes filled with crust
These fingers will curl
As I venture to the dust
But I would wish nothing more
Than to write a score
Of the love that is stored
For Monique

Does the falling sound like waterfalls?
Can you hear your heart longing
Every note she wrote, she wrote to you
Pen fervent, pulse stalling

Does the falling sound like waterfalls?
Are you drenched? Are you dry?
Amidst the rushing life, stand still
See what so often eludes your eye

Does the falling sound like waterfalls?
Is the calling drowned and out?
Float like reeds or sink like stones
As words tumble out your mouth

Does the falling sound like waterfalls
When it echoes in your soul?
Will you let the floodgates open?
Or by the depths be swallows whole?

I looked for you
Amongst the pale and grey
As I saw you fading away
Melting
Into the concrete
Falling to defeat

So I bent a knee
Inaudible prayers for you
Then unlaced my walking shoes
Time
I placed into your cup
Hoping it would be enough

No plan to stop the tears
Inelegant, no grace
Shirt wet where you buried your face
Grief
I lost you in your pale and grey
But I know I’ll find you again in a smile

We’ll speak and measure
Only the amount you need
Contemplating long walks and sore feet
Rising
Don your shoes, pick you up
As you did for me miles before

Say aloud who you are
Is it who you pretend to be?

If happiness is such a lofty goal
Then why’s it’s aftertaste misery?

The shoes are on you feet
The road ahead of you is long

It’s time to take first of many steps
Don’t worry if they miss you when you’re gone

Say aloud what you see
And don’t believe it for a second

So many things in your memory
So many more worth forgetting

If love was all it took from you
Then we’d all be better creatures

Remember that even the strongest love
If not maintained, is still a feature

Say aloud what you feel
Feelings are leaves upon a changing wind

So many look to end it all
Because they’re too afraid to begin

Tie yourself to the firmest vow
Be what your wildest wild, your freest free

Say aloud who you are
Is it who you pretend to be?

There was ground under me
That now I can’t seem to find
A love within my grasp
That might have just been in my mind
A blooming flower
That turned out to be imagination
And a reason to live
That was of my own creation
I hear the ticking clock
And realize it’s my beating heart
I’m scared to find the source
‘Cause it might be ripped apart
So much life in front of me
If I could only live it
So much love in front of me
If my heart would just forgive it...

...self

Cracked is all I’ve known
Frayed lines my only home
My soul is pouring out like yoke
I find I’m not whole

I have yet to find a “why”
Too poor to live, too young to die
A tightrope walker hanging by a thread
A teacup continually chipping

And the audience applauds at such
My measures to see I don’t break too much
These words of crimson color pour
From gaping crevasses

I form each tearing truth to roses
Each biting ache I self compose
Compressed into symphonies of diamond
The wound unhealed, but heard

The piercing dagger now my pen
My mind plunging it, twisting again
To find the joy of my head sorrows
So beautifully broken

Beautiful girl
Untamed woman
A tapestry amongst the grey

She lives in technicolor
Her lips a plethora
Each shade lingering there

Her legs were bows of colored light
My fingers gracing her inners thighs
Reaching in so gently
Yet with purpose
Yet with passion

Watercolors

When I look at you and you close your eyes
I think in mine you may see your reflection
And you close your ears when I call you beautiful
Because it makes you think of your imperfections

The smile you wear as you clear your hair
Eyes bright as summer weather
Have me seeing your prim, have me seeing your proper
When inside you’re barely keeping it together

And I will never know a thing
And you will never say a word
Masking behind breathless charm and beauty
Terrors, tears, and woes unheard

Therein will lie the fear that always lingers
The fear that my feelings are lies
As I look at your shell and you see your reflection
And so you’ll close your eyes

Tears fell from eyes that reflected unseen days
Crashing to the floor, one by one
Like fine china upon rocky ground
And Heaven fell with them
Propelled to take the plunge
Stars submerged in saltwater
A sound I’ll never forget

And I chased every tear that fell
Cupping and collecting each shard
Not know that as I held them in my gaze
That I let Heaven shatter
That I forever lost things irreplaceable
For things that simply
Mattered

She was the one for whom worlds were broken
One for which volcanoes long since slumbered suddenly had awoken
Rain would fall and rain would flood to prove she walked on water
Men falling for her with widened eyes as if lambs to the slaughter

And she would whisper and tornado and tempest would answer in castrophany
Kingdom, king, prophet, poet, in her midst, crumbling to distant memory
Will I stand behind, beside? Better still, will I stand at all?
For what chance does a single heart stand against one for whom worlds fall?

Shoot
Aim at me
And litter me with stars
I feel like I
Need to be
Aerodynamic like cars
To go faster
As I wonder
Do astronomers dream of astronauts
It’s ringing
In my ears
Make mine a holy heart

Blow
Me away
Make things diff’rent than they seem
Push me past
The today
And help me see past the temporary
Of the seconds
Of the minutes
Of the hours I count on fingers and toes
Make this limbs
Stretch the distance
Break apart this hole

Pierce
Into me
Make me feel a heart forgotten
I feel I
Need to be
Torn into to get rid of the rotten
Through the muscle
Crack the bone
Let me be opened, inside out
Open lungs
Rush of blood
Let internals eternally pour out

She was the composition
Of a breaking of many things
All the pieces forming a mural
Of an angel with a broken wings

Wilted feather grace the earth
More than her arms can carry
Creating art like stained glass floors
Gracing eyes, hearts, souls, long since buried

Eyes like those of olive orchards
A deep green that kissed the sky
With feet not accustomed to harsh earth
And muddy wings that were once known to fly

I pull my heart from off my sleeves and put it in a locket
Shooting the key out on a star as if a foreign rocket
Hoping that they might come across it in all the rubble
Then find me and hold my heart, saving me from search and trouble
Call me foolish and call my wrong to test the hands of destiny
But I value love and know heartache has played its role in testing me
So I will rise to the occasion and let love swing favor to me in the form of fate
For I have found the key to love is to vigilantly watch and wait

Plaster me on every screens
Because I’m too hard to believe
Send out my lies
To watching eyes
And capture ears publicly
Does it matter if things are what they seem?
Distortion’s the base of a dream
Twist the dial
Crank up the smile
And you’ll **** the tar betwixt my teeth
Complaints of maggots in your meat
Pull out your eyes: delicacy
Handle you delicately
Like lambs led to the slaughtering
Let your mind keep wandering
Ignore the life you’re squandering
No one has to change a thing
‘Cause heroes suffice on TV
Just keep on remembering
The past is all you’ll get from me
I come with the pleasantries
Minus results and progressing
Feed the money to the beast
Fatten the goose with cheaper yeast
And walk it to the wolves who feast

Ignore the neighbor next to you
He conflicts with all your views
You never really cared for truths
Or the future of the youths
They are bows upon feces
The gears, they grind, my hair is greased
My words, they war as I speak of peace
Black and white should never meet
The Arabs are the enemy
Ignore all of the suffering
Lift me up to **** the golden ****
Don’t look at my mortality
Ignore the child fatality
Throw out all morality
Grab only within your vicinity
The Mexican’s the villain, see?
Stare at white supremacy
While above the stage, I pull the strings
It all makes sense politically

               It all makes sense politically

It all makes sense politically


                  It all makes sense politically

Stand still

I feel myself sinking
And inside I’m thinking
That each movement I’m making
Is pulling me deeper

Stand still

Focus on what you say
Always be sure to convey
Emotional and fervency, there’s no time to waste
Our lives are at stake

Stand still

I can feel every breath
Pulse thumping closer to death
Wondering where we went wrong in the right
And if your lovely eyes will again see the sunlight

Stand still

Capture this moment please
Sinking beyond the knees
Torso receding as I hold close to you
Wondering when the sinking will be through

Stand still

Take the deepest of breaths
I can see you’re scared to death
Hold closer to me as we are swallowed whole
And may God rest our soul

Forever standing
Still

I’m slowly losing hope in you
Possibly in humanity
And I might need to rethink my views
Or maybe my sanity
I’ve tried, applied, cried, and died
With more of the first in between the others
I build up visions and am finding they lied
And I’m left wond’ring if I’ll recover
I’m slowly losing hope in you
I’ve not falling, but it hurts to stand
As life steadily beats me black in blue
With my beating heart in your hands
And I’m tired. And I’m scared.
And I’m lacking from too many investments
And in waiting for you to be there
I’m succumbing to the elements

I’m slowly losing hope in you
Like shedding one tear each day
And as much as I want to leave you behind
I don’t want you to go away
It’s a syndrome, it’s a sickness
You’re my ailment and my cure
I am caught in this self placed thickness
With visions so obscured
And I am buried in 6 feet deep
Yet I can’t find the ground
The value’s there, the price is steep
And I fall to it without a sound
I’m slowly losing hope in you
I have not wandered, I have not strayed
Amidst the fervent treasonous cues
That cause the pouring of fermented rage

And I love you
But I’ll lose you
And I’ll suffer through and through
With soul and heart churning
First clenched up and burning
And my screaming for a simple cue
But I’ll stand there amidst tears, my love
Without a hint or a whisper of what to do
And you can see I’m fighting with all I’m made of
I haven’t lost hope...

...but I’m starting to...

There is violence
Thrashing
A gnashing of teeth
Burning
Tossing, turning
A smell of ash
That leaves one distraught
A hunger
Packed within a thirst
That pales the face
Drains the blood
And leaves an emptiness most hazardous
Dangerous

And what stands as sharpened blades
Broods internally
Biding, biting
Waiting
Anticipating moments of weakness
Unshaken
Under the skin
Itching
Tearing and roaring
Inside a cage
Composed of silence
The wolf within the man

You and I will crack one day
The smoothness will all go away
And as our hairs fade into grey
Will the love still stay?

We promise love until the dust
But so often forget the rust
Failing frequently to discuss
What happens if nothing happens to us

The porcelain will splinter and chip
Marking, for some, where the veil rips
But my love lasts more than just a stint
Of smooth skin on my fingertips

For if the twilight fades the blue
It replaces it with countless hues
And so will grow my love for you
In seeing, remem’bring what we’ve gone through

You and I will crack, no doubt
But my love will faithfully pour out
To endless bound, in copious amounts
A quenching water from an undying spout

I saw flowers in her hair
As if from there they’d grown
Daisies formed into a crown
Upon the head of Rose

And Rose was what they called her
Though Violet her true name
With daffodils in her hands
Freshly dripping with summer rain

She smelled of bloomed gardenias
Like a sunflower, she looked to the light
A lily amongst thistles and weeds
Lips of pink and skin of white

She was the rarest of them all
But a wildflower in heart and soul
Able to grown in the midst of weeds
Blooming, striving, gold

He looked at her
Without saying a single world
In ways that broke her heart
And sewed it shut again
Placing unseen characters
Upon the walls and chambers
That meant so much
But said so little in the end
‘Twas not the words
But all the promises in between
That knocked violently
In the confines of her soul
And in what seemed a glance
She knew that she was lost
With the string that was his presence
Making her whole

I fear that you caught me at the worst of times
With a heart resembling broken glass in this chest of mine
And I’d pay all I have  if you’d see the best in me
But I wouldn’t be surprised if you chose to leave

If you’re searching for sunshine, you may fine only clouds
The lightning cracking at distance so it’s not too loud
But I’d give the world to be just something in your eyes
Though it’s present in my mind that you may say goodbye

Rising to the occasion was never my strong point
Though there’s ever fervent effort, proved by creaking joints
If it would make you stay, I’d lay the mountains flat
But it’s more likely you will go and never come back

Prayers may be silent, but they spit out fervently
And I will put it all on the table if you stay with me
There’s one more “one more chance” I don’t deserve from you
Coupled with love that won’t run out, even if we want it to

Oh please believe me
How I waited so longingly
I stayed faithful so long
Moment came and went
‘Till my tears had all dried
And I found resentment

Words mean nothing to those who advise
They only see lonely inside of these eyes
They go against this song
I’ve sung for so long
Leaving me questioning
If the notes are all wrong

Oh please believe me
How I waited earnestly
The candles were lit
But ran out of wick
The wax on the floor
Acting as evidence

Lights seemed dimmer with you gone
But eyes adjusted and feet walked on
The world turned amidst my protest
My heart kept beating to my behest
And there I stood still living on
Without you there, at my half best

Oh please believe me
I was captivated with your memory
Never moving on
You, my sun and dawn
But time went by
And you stayed away too long

Paint such visions in my heart
In this cold, feed the dying hearth
Tread where my footprints are in this snow
My lovely, warm me, don't let go
Hear me calling amongst the noise
Rest in the rumble of my voice
Feel as the warmth in our blood grows
My lovely, warm me, don't let go
Sing such songs from year before
Dare me, tell me to fear no more
Home is you and all I need know
My lovely, warm me, don't let go
I will kiss your hand as we close our eyes
Hold you close, your breath my lullaby
Let our love stay on the straight and narrow
My lovely, warm me, don't let go

Dear
Why are you here?
There is so much waiting for you
You’ve got the key, open the door
Tears
Fall upon deaf ears
They are not blind, I must remind you
They cry as well so they can’t find you
Will you
Hold back for now
Push the pain into a corner
Join the ones who seem much bolder
Hear
The mourning of the crowds
Find just one who desperately needs
And then proceed to turn the key
So they can be
And just maybe
Then you can be

Can you tell me what made her dance
What put the smile upon her face
For I have not seen an ear to ear in some time

The warmth is gone from peaches lips
Her hair unkept emulates the state of her soul
And eyes are dried from running out of tears

I remember bare feet to cold ground
A twirl that assured she might lift from earth
As she warmed the air so much the sun doubted its worth

Her skin shone with the glow of a lover
Her hands gracing air and leaving on it fingerprints
Her life in between each symphonic note

Tell me what it was that made her dance
What made the sun and moon her spotlight
Instead of the things the signified another passing day