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(Verse 1)

I would have bet my last dollar


Feeling things that you once

I’ve had my share

But what do I do (do I do)
If you’re not there no more

(Verse 2)

You were composed of

Lighting up my kitchen

Fingertips graze
Places you won’t be

I know that your dead and cold
So why won’t you leave?

Buried with my heart long ago
Give it back to me

(Verse 3)

Only because I’ve none left

You’ve gone yet you reside

Doors shut
But windows wide

I confess
I’ve felt these things before

But what I went through
Does not compare to
What I go through
Without you anymore

I know that you’re dead and cold
But I don’t want you to leave

This isn’t how this song should go
A “me” meant to be “we”

I know that you’re dead and cold
Why can’t you be with me?

You were my ultimate goal
So now I’m just losing

(Verse 3)
I can’t remember how to sleep
Without you beside me
You’re imprint
In my mattress
In my soul

My heart took so much time
To let you inside
Tell me a secret
How do I
Let you go?

I know that your dead and cold
So why won’t you leave?

Buried with my heart long ago
Give it back to me

I know that you’re dead and cold
But I don’t want you to leave

This isn’t how this song should go
A “me” meant to be “we”

I know that you’re dead and cold
Why can’t you be with me?

You were my ultimate goal
So now I’m just losing

Just losing...

Just losing...

Losing you...
Nik Bland Feb 6
You will never break me
I can do that by myself
I’ve seen in my life’s undertaking
There’s very chances at help

Every moment is waking
Even when eyes are closed
As I slumber, the ground is quaking
What I’ll wake to, I don’t know

There will always be this fear
Just in different increments
Anxiety dwelling near
And the things it presents

No pity is wanted
This is said for understanding
There caverns of my mind are haunted
By wound, by weight, by branding

Don’t even try to push me
I am falling just fine
I’m not expecting any cushioning
But there’s a slight hope I’ll fly

The wings have yet to sprout out
Whether they will or not, who knows
We all crash, of that there is no doubt
But from it, not all of us grow
Nik Bland Feb 1
I know
It’s me again
Sans the smoke and mirrors
Away from spaces in my head

And again and head don’t rhyme
But I didn’t need to say that
My self analyzing ways
Were in a haze
But made their way back

And I’d be impressed with myself
If there was some sense of pride in me
For each time
I grab said prize
It forces insides outside of me

And rhyming me with me?
Come on, man, that was simply lazy
No, you’ve got it, baby

Use it to the maximum
Forget minimally
But what if
Amidst these rhyming riffs
They see the real me

Do they see the real me?
There’s not a chance
It’s blasphemy
Because my armor, then would be
A holy one... almost gaping

People often ask me what my poetry’s about
They point like
And I’m like
And they just question
As words pour out
And they move and they burn
And they twist
And I’ve learned
Not matter which way they’re turned
They’re about things that don’t last

They’re about loves torn asunder
About fires, rain, and thunder
Like that song
By Stevie Wonder
They’re the “Joy Inside My Tears”

And they lower and boost my fears
With all of their rusted gears
So I feel movement
A shift I hear
And yet I find it just still

I know
It’s me again
This same ******* rut
That undercuts
These roots from sinking in

And the smoke and mirrors
The music
The light show they all go dim
I throw them to the floor
And the mirrors
Show me him
And he is me
But who am I

...I’m sorry... I didn’t mean to shout
The truth is I’m not sure who my poems are about
They always hold some part of me
Hoping, despairing, living, dying
Some are etched
In stone-thrown rage
And some just leave me crying

Potential wins and consistent loss
They’re what fill my pen
Some acknowledgement to
A God who is always good
But a world that’s not my friend

And the struggle of my color
And the ripping of my heart
And the feebleness
Of my intellect
As I play this brief part
As I suffer
As I benefit
As I laugh
As I bleed

As I say hi
It’s me again
Just me
Nik Bland Jan 31
Does moonlight impede you
Do you get the full view
Of the
Sun that lies within

It’s so hard to read you
You see, in the read-though
Of the
Book the dialect changed

Your shoulders are heavy
And you never feel your ready
Slow and steady

This isn’t a race
So why is your heart still racing
Beats seemingly replacing

Time is a construct
Look towards the home front
It is
Always somewhere near

The night brings such sorrow
You feel no hope for tomorrow
It is
Storm clouds in your head

Raindrops on your pillow
Nik Bland Jan 28
And I will give this parting word
Knowing you’ll never hear it
But love, as they say, is a verb
So my action’s to lift your spirit
To know that breath escapes my lungs
To do what I must to meet you lips
The twisting of unspeaking tongues
The grazing of unworthy fingertips

Parting is an ever aware
And unwelcome party guest
A weight that drives and despairs
Bringing tension to my chest
Though I would press ten times such costs
To say these vocalize such words
Of love, of want, and of inevitable loss
Of things ceasing to be heard
Nik Bland Jan 24
You are more
More brilliant
Reminiscent of stars
And librarians
With their glasses
Hooked on strings

And yet I am
Wait for you
To notice me
To find me
To love
About me

And you speak to me
And post your
Self deprecating
Of how you’re
Unloved and alone

The room
You’ve locked yourself
Is shut
Do not disturb
With walls lined
In black

But with
The light off
And your hands
Over your
Tear-filled eyes
You fail
To see me
Wanting to
Love you
Nik Bland Jan 22
And by her eyes you know she’s curious
In a world jammed full and furious
How she could be something more to anyone but herself

How her voice could be heard amongst the crowd
Or her head be kept under the clouds
How she’s more than just one of the a billion on the shelf

She would sit ever so properly
Trying to be the best that she could be
And the days would leave and greet her where she’d stand

But the princes were for fairytales
In a world that crushed things that were so frail
If they didn’t turn to dust in her own hands

The dragons growing more real each day
With breath of hot terminal dismay
And she was no hero, she was barely her

No sword appearing in her hand
No puzzle in which to understand
The reality that existed, so absurd

And she could give it all up now
Fade to black and take her bow
She could exit such things and just be gone

But she was very curious
In a world of the superfluous
What exactly kept her moving on
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