ashley is dimples and bangs
she is freckles scattered from cheek to cheek,
the sun never failing to show her love.
ashley is shy smiles paired with fiddling hands one moment,
a wheezy laugh with an arm clutching her aching stomach the next.
ashley is a fixer.
she’s like an addict looking for their
next head rush,
instead of tracking down drugs,
she tracks down projects.
people who are hurting,
drains that aren’t draining,
hearts that are breaking.
doing anything
and
everything
in her power to mend what she can.
she will put the hurting minds at ease with words of affirmation,
she will fearlessly rid the drain of the ball of hair the size of a small animal,
and she will piece together the breaking hearts
with the tape that is holding her own broken heart intact.
ashley is strong.
unaware of her own strength,
and often forgetting that she’s been to the darkest places and back.
she is patient.
knowing that sometimes you have to endure the bad
to later revel in the good.
she is compassionate.
giving out more love than she receives and willingly doing it again the next day.
ashley is
unmatched.
She will sit with you in the dark when you are unable to find the bright side of things
She will validate the feelings that you thought no one would care or dare to comprehend.
She will walk into your life and leave a footprint on your heart,
making it absolutely impossible to remember what life was like without her.
She will change your life without even trying, without even realizing.
and yes, change can be scary,
but things are never as scary as they seem
when you’ve got a best friend
like ashley.

our relationship took a quick turn for the worst
the corner was too sharp, we overcorrected-
crash
barely surviving, holding on by a thread.
mom says we'll be okay, fighting is just what sisters do...
and I believed her
the first couple dozen times that is,
until it started to become repetitive and meaningless.

a fight about taking each others clothes,
"it's just what sisters do".

an argument about me being too sensitive and taking everything too personally,
"it's just what sisters do"

a screaming match about our lives and how vastly different they are,

how distanced

we are,

how there will always be a divide,
(you blame this on age)

but 10 years between us
shouldn't hurt

this much.

now I expect the endless bashing of my sensitivity and my emotionally driven mind

I don't bat an eye at the jealousy ridden remarks thrown in my face,

and though I can't count on you,

I can surely count on you putting me down

and holding me there until it hurts

and I let you,

because

that's just what sisters do...

right?

"im not okay with it"
you tell me
and i feel my heart
sink a little.
the feelings i've built for him
creep away a little.
my foggy head
tries to clear a little.
how is it that your words
make me feel so little?

you’ve wanted it for so long

well here it is

being handed to you

it’s in your hands now

you’ve got the power

the control

you’ve wanted it for so long

you’ve dreamt of the day you’d get it

your heart would pound at the thought of
it

you’ve longed

wished

wondered

what it would be like

to finally feel it

because

you’ve wanted it for so long

and here it is

in your hands

now,
what will you do with it?

maybe it’s just me.
maybe, it’s just my way of finding an out,
an out because

I’m afraid.

afraid that my delicate heart,
that’s being held in his

big
soft
hands

is going to break.

break beyond repair.
and then,
I will have no one
and
I will have nothing.
except
for the broken pieces of me
that were once so alive
for him

love comes in various forms;

It can be found in the smile that spreads across your face at the thought of him,

It can be seen in the vibrant red roses that show beautifully in a vase,

It can be made between people after years..or minutes of knowing each other

It can make you feel like you’re walking on air,

or being shoved to the ground.

it can be seen between a man and a woman,

or by people of the same ***.

love comes is various forms,

and it cannot be ignored.

n.p.