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Natalie Sep 2019
I did it
I regret it
I owned up to it
I apologized for it
and apologized for it
Apologized for it again
What more do you want from me?
What more do you need from me?
What else is there to say?
What else is there to do?
What else can I do?
I won’t apologize
I owned up to it
Regret nothing
I did it.
Done.
Natalie Sep 2019
i want you
but i can’t have you
because if i have you
i hurt her
Natalie Sep 2019
we’re on the side of the cliff right now
you and i
one of us is about to jump and create a forever distance between us
i used to think you would be the one leaving me on the edge of the cliff at the end
but the constant drama, bad talking and hurt that you’ve intentionally caused has not just guided me over the edge
but pushed me over the edge
I fought so hard for you
I wanted to fix things with you
But my arms are getting tired
My fingers are starting to ache
I can’t hang around for much longer
I’m exhausted
I’m ready to let go
I’m letting go.
Natalie May 2019
i blow the smoke out

along with my worries for the night

i feel my eyes get heavy

i feel my body getting light

see my veins protruding under my skin

hear my heart pounding aggressively within

my stomach yearns for hot food

the music puts me in a good mood

i feel a roller coaster in my head

before i know it I'm in bed
Natalie May 2019
"im not okay with it"
you tell me
and i feel my heart
sink a little.
the feelings i've built for him
creep away a little.
my foggy head
tries to clear a little.
how is it that your words
make me feel so little?
one of those cases where the cliche "the heart wants what the heart wants" hits far too close to home
Natalie May 2019
do people even go on dates anymore?
is it really a thing people still do?
yeah I'll go hang out with a guy,
but when does hanging out cross over into the date territory?
everyone is all about "Netflix and chilling"
what happened to going out to see a movie?
telling a guy about yourself is possibly the worst part
you feel like you're handing him an enormously long book
they are willingly taking part in reading it
but they start to instantly regret it as they do
often finding themselves getting bored
or growing tired of the content.
now, this isnt the case with all of them,
just most of them.
maybe one day there will be one
that doesn't start the conversation off with
"that *** is lookin' great"
maybe one day there will be one
that doesn't invite me over only at times that are
far too late
maybe one day there will be one
that wants to ask me
on a date.
dating culture in 2019 is absolute trash. TRY and convince me otherwise.
Natalie Feb 2019
pour
clink
down
repeat.

maybe
this time
you can take
the heat.

actually,
probably not,
prepare for
defeat.
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