I fight and die for my country
While the world sits idly by
It's not for fame or money
It's a fight to stay alive

I watch my comrades fall
Riddled with bullet holes
They're the ones who gave all
They paid their debt in full

We give our blood for freedom
Our lives and bodies too
We pray for help to come
And pray that we pull through

I'll fight until I pass
Until I'm finally dead
Until I breathe my last
With a bullet in my head

If I come home and find you gone
Then you can't say that I was wrong
I let you go, although it hurt
But you still treat me like I'm dirt

And I have pictures on the wall
Of all the things we used to do
And I'm still waiting for your call
Did those mean anything to you?

You left me
Standing there
Can't you see
I still care?

It's been a month, and I still can't sleep
I think I've fallen down too deep
Lying awake, staring at the floor
Waiting for you to walk through my door

And I had pictures on the wall
Of all the things we did before
Now I'm not waiting for your call
And they're all lying on the floor

Every morning I wake up
To an empty bed and an empty phone
Every morning I remember
That you aren't here anymore

I'm left with an empty feeling
In the pit of my stomach
And an empty future
Where our plans used to be

They say it gets better
That one day there won't
Be this gaping hole inside
Where I had you

But I just don't think
That I believe them
I don't think I'll ever
Be whole
Again

I'm caged in
By these thoughts of you
So many things
I wish I could do

But you, you're holding me back

You're so young
So ******* immature
Seems like my life
Is passing in a blur

'Cause you, you're holding me back

I'm leaving now
Throwing away my key
This is the last
You'll ever see of me

Now you, you won't be holding me back

Don't say goodbye
I'm not listening to you
'Cause you and me
We're done and through

You cry and plead
And you're driving me mad
I can't even think
Of all the good times we had

See, this is why
I'm leaving you
So get a grip
You always knew

That you, you were holding me back

There's a glint in your eye
A tease, as it were
A spark in the air
And it's starting to flare

Your sweet, lilting laugh
As you balance yourself
And I'd say it's love
If push came to shove

The warmth in your gaze
As you look back at me
And the curve of your lips
That I'd so like to kiss

These are all things
That I hold in my heart
That warm me at night
When I turn out the light

But it's all in my head
Just a bittersweet dream
That's why I sleep so much
It's the only way to feel your touch

The scars you've left upon my body
Will probably never fade
And they're engraved upon me
Part of what you made

I can't bring myself to let memories
Fade away to dust
They're all I have left of me and you
Of that once held trust

I'll drown myself in this blood
Filling my chest
And choking on my life
With these last breaths

There's a tired feeling
That I sometimes get
When I'm not ready
For the day just yet

So I squeeze my eyes shut
Roll over in bed
Pull the blanket up
And over my head

I pretend that it's dark
And the sun isn't there
So I can get more sleep
Without a thought to spare

After all this time you have to know
You have to know how much you mean to me
You have to know that my heart still skips a beat
When you say that I'm your favorite
You have to know that I'm telling the truth
When I say that I would move heaven and earth for you
My world is dull and faded without you
Colors bleached like a painting left too long in the sun
Everything that held life and happiness is drained
Replaced by weak, pallid substitutes

All this really is...
Well, it's just an attempt to explain
That you are my home, my heart, my love
And that without you my life has no meaning
The future that we planned dashed upon the rocks
And scattered to the winds

Please
I am begging you with everything that I have left
Please do not leave me here alone and dying
My heart ripped out, my life trickling away
My hope gone

Please
I just need you, and only you
And you once said you felt the same
So if you can
Find that again
For me.

It doesn't seem so far
When I hear your voice
You know that I'd be there
If I had a choice

But when I'm in my bed
Where it's dark and cold
I've never felt so lonely
I need someone to hold

The distance is so far
Though I wish upon a star
You and I remain
So far apart

You know that I'll come home
To hold you close and tight
You know I wished upon a star
A star that burned so bright

We're miles and hours away
And there's an ocean in between
But I love you so much
The distance isn't what it seems

The distance isn't far
Though I wished upon a star
You and I are still
So far apart

But I'll come back to you
No matter what it takes
I'll make it back to you
If I have to walk all the way

That night you left me,
Two weeks ago
You left with my heart
With my feelings, with my love

I almost died.

Now life seems hazy
Surreal, fake
Like I'm not quite living it

Or like I'm in a dream
So I pinch my arm
Please, wake up
But it's still
Real

The clouds are lifting though
Slowly, bit by bit
I'll live again
And I'll be here
When you're ready

X marks the spot where the blood bleeds out
So silent and thick, without even a shout
A man falls to a floor, so lifeless within
And worn on his face is a small depressed grin

He took his own life on this dark, dreary day
Now his spirit has flown somewhere far away
And his body lies cold on this hard, ***** ground
With nobody to mourn, for nobody's around

No rest will he have, because his soul is ******
To wander forever in the grey realm of man
But better, he thinks, 'tis to suffer this curse
Then to live one more day on this cruel, heartless earth

Coffee rings stain my desk
And your fingerprints mark
Where your hands lingered
Last night in the dark

The morning sun shines bright
And your hair spills across the bed
I can't focus on anything
As you fill my head

Your arms stretch towards the ceiling
And I smile as you catch my eye
I think to myself again
How I never want to say goodbye

Dark and dreary
So depressed
My mind in shambles
My room a mess

I need to get
This through my head
But I'm just lying
On my bed

No energy
Or will to live
I have nothing
Left to give

So please,
don't leave me here
Please

Death come quickly, take me now
I lay here cold, sweat on my brow
I have failed
I can't go on
Please take me
I'm unworthy

Death come quickly to my bed
Take these dread thoughts from my head
I can't do this
I'm far too weak
Please bring me peace
This sweet release

Death come quickly, end this life
End my struggles, end my strife
I've tried so hard
But all for naught
Please lay me down
Far underground

Who am I?
Who should I be?
What makes me me, what do others see?

Who am I?
A broken man?
Shattered and weak, unable to stand?

Who am I?
Lost and alone?
Have I misplaced the light that You have shown?

Who am I?
Just a small, dreary soul?
Have I given up hope; have I lost all control?

You're the sun that lights my day
And even when it's bad
You make me smile anyway
With just a thought

You're the cutest girl I know
So I asked you out
And please, let's not take it slow
That's just a thought

'Cause you make me feel alive
Though I'm so tired
You're the reason I survive
It's just the thought

You're always stuck in my head
Even if I'm busy
You've got me hanging by a thread
Inside your thoughts

Late night sadness
Always haunts me
Thoughts of you
Are so depressing

When I wish that
I could hold you
And I don't know
What to do

Creeping shadows
Lonely moonlight
My companions
So late at night

Late night sadness
Darkens my room
But don't worry
Morning comes soon

You are my road less traveled
And I want to know every inch of you
Every imperfection and blemish
Your deepest secret, your highest joy

I want to be your road less traveled
Cut me open, lay me out
Eviscerate me, know me
All of me is here for you to see

I want to know you
Really know you
And I want you
To know me

Let me tell you my fears
Let me be vulnerable
Take my secrets
The ones no one else knows

And give me yours
Let me be your confidant
Let me be your diary
Etch your heart onto mine

I stand here
Willingly
Raw, open, vulnerable
Fragile

Every night I sleep alone
I think of you
And I die a little more

Your eyes are as green as the forests that you love
And I know that you
Would spend every second of every day in them
If you could

The way you come alive in nature
I'm almost sure
That you're actually a nymph of the woods
Lost in the trees, flitting here and there
Friends with all of the forest

Examining the strangest fungi
Eyes lit up, voice excited
It makes me smile
Watching you where you love to be

A squirrel darts across the ground,
And your attention shifts
For just a second
Before you're back to the trees

This, right here
Is where you belong
And I'm lucky
To see it

She lays on the bed
Eyes half closed
And I wonder if
She really knows

What she does to me
How she makes me feel
Pinching myself roughly
I wonder if it's real

You are everything
That's good to me
And I just hope
That you can see

How much you are
To me

Why don't you just
Rip out my ******* heart
While you stand there
Just watch me fall apart

Why don't you just
Tell me what I need
Instead of laughing
While I bruise and bleed

Why don't you just
End this here and now
Applaud your great work
Then stand and take a bow

Instead you just
Look on as I die
Collapsing again
As I'm screaming why

I can't sleep at the thought of you gone
And I don't know how I'll get along
Without your beautiful smile by my side
Or your bright, bright eyes that you try to hide
Behind that auburn hair
Hanging over your face
And your faded scars
That I love to trace
With my fingers when I'm holding you
There's nothing else I'd rather do
Just stay here with me
No need to go
Outside today
Just stay

You're it
You have been for so long
If I believed in love at first sight
It would be you

No matter what I do
You're always the one
On my mind, in my head
All around me, no matter what

It's you
Only you
Always you
Forever

I want to cut and run
Say that I don't care anymore
But I know that you know that I care too much

I want to say goodbye
Act like I don't feel this way
But I can't bring myself to tell you any lies

So I'll stay here
Almost miserable
'Cause you act
Like I'm invisible
But I've got nowhere else to go
So I'll stay here
And take it slow

I want to take your hand
And pull you away with me
We can go anywhere, we can do anything at all

I want to hold you close
Feel your body pressed against mine
But I know that you'd never let me get that close

So I'll stay here
Almost miserable
'Cause you act
Like I'm invisible
But I've got nowhere else to go
So I'll stay here
And take it slow

Yeah, I don't know
So I'll take it slow
How long can I wait
On you?

I still haven't gotten used
To sleeping alone
With just your stuffed animal
Where you used to be

Late at night, when the sky's dark
Early in the morning, when the light's stark
I think about the things I've done
And they swell near to bursting

All the actions that I've taken
All the promises I'm breaking
Those are what sting me every time
They make me hate myself more

Every dumb **** that comes along
Sighing and moaning that I'm not wrong
I just want to throw them away
And dump myself out with the trash

'Cause that's what it is in the end
And I'm always measured by my every sin
So crush me, smash me, throw me away
And I'll sit here in silence, remorseful

I am lopsided
I always have been
But I've never felt it so sharply
As I have since you left

Now I feel like I am tipping
Barely balanced on one foot
Waiting for a brisk wind
To ******* over

You aren't here
And I don't have anything
To keep my equilibrium
So I tip, tip, tip

Things falling off
As I desperately try
To keep them all balanced
And I tip, tip, tip

And wonder
What will finally knock me over
And I know
I won't get back up

Breathe in
Breathe out
Monotone, dull, routine
Get up, dress, work

Flash a smile
Drop a laugh
Don't let anyone
Not one, see

Behind this mask I'm dead
Breathing isn't a sign of life
Not anymore
I move, I work, I talk

But it's robotic
Autopilot
Happiness, joy, fulfillment
Sadness, grief, pain

Gone
Replaced by
Grey

That feeling I get
When he's there
Taking your attention
You've got none left to spare

Makes me want to scream
To the sky
How much I want him
Just to go away and die

Because he is
Everything I hate
And he knows it
He thinks that he's so great

But I just want to
Smash his face in
With
A really
Big
Rock

I can't tell you
That every single day
I wake up and I think
"Maybe today"
"Maybe I'll do it today"

Maybe today I'll end it
Write my goodbyes
Make a phone call
And then **** myself

I can't tell you
That I feel like half a man
That without her, I am missing
All the best parts of me

You don't understand
That for years, these demons
Have been in my head
And she saved me from them

She saved my life
I was going to die
Young, and at war
But she gave me hope

I can't tell you
That I am an inch away
From just drinking and drinking and drinking
Until I can't remember her face
Or her laugh, or how it felt to hold her in my arms

Until I can't remember how happy I was
Until I forget how she made me feel
How we would just stay in bed
And talk

I am so close to giving up
But I can't tell you that

This poison
Is coursing through my veins
And I need to get it out
Because it's driving me insane

I'm angry
I need to yell and shout
Because the world can never know
What this is all about

I am a walking disaster
Destroying everyone
That does their best to come after
And fix this mess I am

I am strangely empty inside
But angry, full of doubt
I've got nowhere I can hide
As they fight to get out

I poison
Everyone around me
No matter what I do
Why can't you look and see

That this
Is
Me

And I thought
That I got
Something good

But I was wrong
All along
Just as always

So I will
Drink away these sorrows
'Cause **** what comes tomorrow
I don't care anymore

And you can
Do whatever you please
Just don't ask for **** from me
I don't care anymore

You are
Everything I want
Being close to you
I just can't get enough

I am
A helpless fool
Falling in love
Madly with you

You are
Perfect, at least to me
And I know
That you're just what I need

Sometimes
I just want to
**** myself

When you left
I broke