Vic: Poems

May 2020 · 52

Note 414:

Vic May 2020

Note 414:

i'm tired
and i miss you

but there isn't
really a difference
between the two

A poem every day
2/5/20

#note #414

May 2020 · 25

Note 413:

Vic May 2020

Note 413:

I Lost A Friend - FINNEAS

I lost a friend
Like keys in a sofa
Like a wallet in the backseat
Like ice in the summer heat
I lost a friend
Like sleep on a red-eye
Like money on a bad bet
Like time worrying about
Every bad thing that hasn't happened yet

I know I'll be alright, but I'm not tonight
I'll be lying awake counting all the mistakes I've made
Replaying fights
I know I'll be alright, but I'm not tonight
I lost a friend, I lost a friend

I lost my mind, and nobody believes me
Say, "I know that she don't need me
'Cause she made a little too much money to be 20 and sad"
And I'll be fine without 'em
But all I do is write about 'em
How the hell did I lose a friend I never had?
Never had

I'm on the mend
Like I'm wearing a neck brace
Like I'm sleeping in my own place
Like I'm pulling all the stitches out of my own face
I'm on the mend
Like I'm icing a new sprain
Like I'm walking on a new cane
Like it's been a couple days
Since I slipped and said something sorta like your name

I know I'll be alright, but I'm not tonight
I'll be lying awake counting all the mistakes I've made
Replaying fights
I know I'll be alright, but I'm not tonight
I'm on the mend, but I lost a friend

I lost my mind, and nobody believes me
Say, "I know that she don't need me
'Cause she made a little too much money to be 20 and sad"
And I'll be fine without 'em
But all I do is write about 'em
How the hell did I lose a friend I never had?

I'd apologize if I thought it might make a difference
Or make you listen
I'd apologise if it was black and white
But life is different
Just try to listen to me now

I know I'll be alright, but I'm not tonight
I lost a friend, I lost a friend

I lost my mind, and nobody believes me
Say, "I know that she don't need me
'Cause she made a little too much money to be 20 and sad"
And I'll be fine without 'em
But all I do is write about 'em
How the hell did I lose a friend I never had?
Never had

A poem every day
1/5/20

you probably know it's you. i was gonna say sorry, but i don't think you care for my apologies anymore.

#note #413

Apr 2020 · 176

Note 412:

Vic Apr 2020

Note 412:

I might not speak up soon
I might not, ever.
But that's okay,
That's my choice.
It doesn't mean I'm not a feminist
It means I'm at peace
with what happened years ago.
Speak up if you want to
It's your voice.
Use it as you like

A poem every day
30/4/20

#note #412 #feminist #****

Apr 2020 · 100

Note 411

Vic Apr 2020

Note 411

I feel a bit empty inside
Like I'm filled with clouds
But not the pretty kind

The dark ones,
That make you think it's gonna rain
But then don't

A poem every day
29/4/20

#note #411 #depression #clouds #rain

Apr 2020 · 374

Note 410:

Vic Apr 2020

Note 410:

Mama - My Chemical Romance

Mama, we all go to hell
Mama, we all go to hell
I'm writing this letter and wishing you well
Mama, we all go to hell
Oh well, now, Mama, we're all gonna die
Mama, we're all gonna die
Stop asking me questions, I'd hate to see you cry
Mama, we're all gonna die

And when we go, don't blame us, yeah
We'll let the fires just bathe us, yeah
You made us oh, so famous
We'll never let you go

And when you go, don't return to me, my love

Mama, we're all full of lies
Mama, we're meant for the flies
And right now, they're building a coffin your size
Mama, we're all full of lies

Well mother, what the war did to my legs and to my tongue
You should've raised a baby girl, I should've been a better son
If you could coddle the infection, they can amputate at once
You should've been, I could have been a better son

And when we go, don't blame us, yeah
We'll let the fires just bathe us, yeah
You made us oh, so famous
We'll never let you go

She said, "You ain't no son of mine
For what you've done, they're gonna find
A place for you and just you mind your manners when you go
And when you go, don't return to me, my love" (That's right!)

Mama, we all go to hell
Mama, we all go to hell
It's really quite pleasant, except for the smell
Mama, we all go to hell

One, two, three, four!
Mama! Mama! Mama! Oh!
Mama! Mama! Mama! Ma...

And if you would call me a sweetheart
I'd maybe then sing you a song...
But there's **** that I've done with this **** of a gun
You would cry out your eyes all along

We're ******, after all
Through fortune and flame, we fall
And if you can stay, then I'll show you the way
To return from the ashes you call
We all carry on
When our brothers in arms are gone
So raise your glass high, for tomorrow, we die
And return from the ashes you call...

A poem every day
28/4/20

#note #410 #mcr #mychemicalromance #band #mama #mamabymcr

Apr 2020 · 99

Note 409

Vic Apr 2020

Note 409

"No one deserves to be forgotten,
No one deserves to fade away."

It's not that I don't agree,
It's just that I still want to dissapear.
I'm not even here

A poem every day
27/4/20

I don't really vibe with Dear Evan Hansen anymore but eh I love the show anyway

#note #409 #deh #dearevanhansen

Apr 2020 · 45

Note 408:

Vic Apr 2020

Note 408:

I'm not ******* okay
and I don't know what I need

I want love. physical.
I want love. romantic.
I want love. platonic.
I want love.

and I want to get out of here
away from you
because I love you
and that's scary

A poem every day
26/4/20

#note #408

Apr 2020 · 25

Note 407:

Vic Apr 2020

Note 407:

I don't have the time or energy to write poetic things. I'm building up my life again, okay? I know I'm a mess but I can't live without love and I'll just have to figure it out because some stupid ******* hormones can't be the only thing making me fail. I hate love.

A poem every day
25/4/20

#note #407 #love

Apr 2020 · 33

Note 406:

Vic Apr 2020

Note 406:

Dear "diary",
I feel pathetic and disgusting.
Love, Evan

A poem every day
24/4/20

#note #406

Apr 2020 · 66

Note 405:

Vic Apr 2020

Note 405:

It's so funny.
I've experienced love in many ways
But I've lost them all.
Let them go.
But I don't think I ever stopped loving you.
No one else gives me butterflies the same way you still do
Although they aren't really butterflies anymore.
They're bricks
Tearing me down every time I look at you
because I know how much I want you and every time I remember that I become more aware of the fact I'll never have you
I'm so ******* desperate
That no one realises anymore

A poem every day
23/4/20

#note #405 #love #crush #girl #****

Apr 2020 · 58

Note 404:

Vic Apr 2020

Note 404:

Satisfaction not found

A poem every day
22/4/20

#note #404 #feelings

Apr 2020 · 93

Note 403:

Vic Apr 2020

Note 403:

I think it is you entirely. I can't name one part of you that's better than the rest. I love them all, just like I love you

A poem every day.
21/4/20

#note #403 #crush #love #response

Apr 2020 · 50

Note 402:

Vic Apr 2020

Note 402:

i sigh
but there is no air
to leave my lungs

A poem every day
20/4/20

#note #402

Apr 2020 · 71

Note 401:

Vic Apr 2020

Note 401:

I'm still alive after 401 days. didn't think i would make it past 10. this started as a fun thing. it's become a coping mechanism. a reason to live, a way to function. it wasn't the support that i did or didn't get. it was me. i think this is the first time i actually wanted something, and finished it, even though i didn't have the energy. because i wanted to, unconciously. it just hit me. i'm glad i'm here for some reason. i have an emotional connection with these notes. they've been here the roughest year of my life. without knowing. so this time, no thanks to other people, but to me. i'm here, i did it. i'm proud of myself. i can't say that with certainty yet, but i just hope i can, a bit more, every day. soon.

A poem every day
19/4/20

ra(n)ts. excuse my grammar i'm lazy and tired

#note #401 #depression #coping #poetry

Apr 2020 · 176

Note 400:

Vic Apr 2020

Note 400:

i'm    f l o a t i n g
in the     s k y
but i'm still drowning
in the    w a t e r   beneath me

A poem every day
18/4/20

not sure what this is supposed to mean

#note #400 #floating #air #skies #sky #water #drown #depression

Apr 2020 · 140

Note 399:

Vic Apr 2020

Note 399:

Everytime I walk this road
I become more aware
Of how you're not there
To walk it with me

A poem every day
17/4/20

catching up. not on my feelings tho. i just wanna go out with a cute girl ******. covid 19 is ****-******* me ngl

#note #399 #date #girl #love

Apr 2020 · 96

Note 398:

Vic Apr 2020

Note 398:

i love you.
a lot.
and i miss you.
i hope one day the world will let us be together in peace.
i want to be with you.
in times of chaos, and times of calm.
i want to be with you.
stuck in madness.
but if we together are the madness, i don't want it.
i wanna be with you,
but i wanna be okay with you.
i love you.
and i miss you.
a lot.

A poem every day
16/4/20

#note #398 #love #relationship #chaos

Apr 2020 · 65

Note 397:

Vic Apr 2020

Note 397:

they say writing helps you cope and forget.
this is my 600th poem on here,
but i still remember every single one.

A poem every day
15/4/20

#note #397 #poetry #600

Apr 2020 · 155

Note 396:

Vic Apr 2020

Note 396:

stage this; five kids from all different mcr eras. a scene kid for bullets, a depressed punk for three cheers. a baby bat for black parade. a modern punk/scene kid for danger days. a semi e-boy/girl for after 2012. they are standing in an alley next to hot topic and burger king. theyre in a circle. there's candles, pictures of ray toro and merch on the floor. you seem to hear nothing, but as you come closer you hear them softly chanting.
älbüm älbüm älbüm

A "poem" every day
14/4/20

WHY CANT MCR JUST GIVE US THE **** MUSIC

#note #396 #mcr #mychemicalromance #emo

Apr 2020 · 98

Note 395:

Vic Apr 2020

Note 395:

take me out to the back of the shed
shoot me in the back of the head

A poem every day
13/4/20

stuck with this tiktok sound in my head

#note #395 #ew #tiktok

Apr 2020 · 51

Note 394:

Vic Apr 2020

Note 394:

i miss you
come home
~
i need you
come here

A poem every day
12/4/20

#note #394 #love

Apr 2020 · 113

Note 393:

Vic Apr 2020

Note 393:

I'm craving a blunt,
a can of monster energy,
a normal cigarette
or some shots

but also you
mostly you

A poem every day
11/4/20

#note #393 #you

Apr 2020 · 24

Note 392:

Vic Apr 2020

Note 392:

i'm drowning in numbness
the feelings are dripping down my veins
you can see i'm drained in my eyes
drip
drip
d
r
i
p

down

A poem every day
10/4/20

#note #392 #depression #suicide

Apr 2020 · 94

Note 391:

Vic Apr 2020

Note 391:

Starting to wonder
If the place I've been looking for
All these years
Is the right one

A poem every day.
9/4/20

#note #391 #school #depression

Apr 2020 · 40

Note 390:

Vic Apr 2020

Note 390:

the ocean is beautiful
~~
sounds like a nice place to drown,
it's different than inside my head

A poem every day
8/4/20

#note #390 #depression #sea #ocean

Apr 2020 · 482

Note 389:

Vic Apr 2020

Note 389:

i wanna be your girlfriend - girl in red

Oh, Hannah
I wanna feel you close
Oh, Hannah
Come lie with my bones
Oh, Hannah
Don't look away
Oh, Hannah
Just look at me the same
I don't wanna be your friend, I wanna kiss your lips
I wanna kiss you until I lose my breath
I don't wanna be your friend, I wanna kiss your lips
I wanna kiss you until I lose my breath
(Oh, Hannah
Oh, Hannah
Oh, Hannah
Oh, Hannah)
Oh, Hannah
Tell me something nice
Like flowers and blue skies
Oh, Hannah
I will follow you home
Although my lips are blue and I'm cold
I don't wanna be your friend, I wanna kiss your lips
I wanna kiss you until I lose my breath
I don't wanna be your friend, I wanna kiss your lips
I wanna kiss you until I lose my breath
Oh, Hannah
Oh, Hannah
Oh, Hannah
Oh, Hannah
I wanna kiss you until I lose my breath
I don't wanna be your friend
I don't wanna be your friend I wanna be your *****
And I wanna touch you but not like this
The look in your eyes
My hand between your thighs
Oh, this can't be real
Its all just a dream
I don't wanna be your friend, I wanna kiss your lips
I wanna kiss you until I lose my breath
I don't wanna be your friend
Lose my breath
I don't wanna be your friend
Lose my breath

A poem every day.
7/4/2020

cant describe it any other way baby

#note #389 #girl #love #song #lyrics #girlinred #girlfriend

Apr 2020 · 45

Note 388:

Vic Apr 2020

Note 388:

I'm putting my feelings on lockdown
because I wanna last a little while longer

A poem every day
6/4/20

quarantine is making me so ******* tired

#note #388 #feelings #lockdown #depression

Apr 2020 · 31

Note 387:

Vic Apr 2020

Note 387:

i'm a little lost
can you come pick me up?

A poem every day
5/4/20

#note #387 #lost

Apr 2020 · 89

Note 386:

Vic Apr 2020

Note 386:

flip
      bash
              bang
                      boom
                               crash

                                           my mental stability
                                           fell down the stairs

A poem every day
4/4/20

#note #386 #feelings #visualpoetry

Apr 2020 · 61

Note 385:

Vic Apr 2020

Note 385:

bang
boom
shatter

there went my heart
slipped out of my hands
like a cup of tea
on a marble floor

A poem every day
3/4/20

#note #385 #tea #heart #love #broken

Apr 2020 · 107

Note 384:

Vic Apr 2020

Note 384:

I'd make you cinnamon rolls, fruit and iced coffee
And we could sit under a tree, or on the swing

We could go on ice-cream dates
Or we could grab some coffee

We could take walks in the park
Or have a sleepover on the rooftop

We could make pizza rolls and cuddle
And have a movie marathon

we could go pick flowers in a field somewhere
or we could move all the furniture in the room

i just wanna spend
some time with you

a poem every day
2/4/20

felt a lil wholesome today

#note #384 #love #wholesome #relationship

Apr 2020 · 395

Note 383:

Vic Apr 2020

Note 383:

it's 4/20 for a whole month
nice.

A poem every day
1/4/20

#note #383 #420 #nice

Mar 2020 · 22

Note 382:

Vic Mar 2020

Note 382:

writing is easier than reading
because you out your own feelings
and don't feel someone else's

but right now
i'm too tired for both
i'm not even sorry

A poem every day
31/3/20

#note #382 #tired

Mar 2020 · 43

Note 381:

Vic Mar 2020

Note 381:

I'm bored
and lost

you were supposed to be my safe haven
but you were the wave that hit

i'm tired

too tired to say anything about it

so i guess i love you
and i guess i'm fine

A poem every day
30/3/20

#note #381 #love #relationship #depression

Mar 2020 · 35

Note 380:

Vic Mar 2020

Note 380:

[poem]

A poem every day
29/3/20

#note #380 #poem

Mar 2020 · 69

Note 378:

Vic Mar 2020

Note 378:

i miss you
...
although you weren't really mine

A poem every day
27/3/20

#note #378 #love #crush

Mar 2020 · 46

Note 379:

Vic Mar 2020

Note 379:

the               takes
       wind               feelings
                                              but                                                        m e
                                                      i               it                 take
                                                           wish        would

A poem every day
28/3/20

#note #379 #feelings #wind #depression

Mar 2020 · 82

Note 377:

Vic Mar 2020

Note 377:

Let's live in a little cottage
Just at the edge of the woods
and have a pretty life
without anyone around

or in the centre of the city,
an appartment, if you prefer'
where we can fill the world with music
and with our friends real close about

or we can live a normal life
in a regular house in town
where we'd re-decorate every week
and have a spot, just of our own

we could watch the stars all night
and wake up feeling cold and blue
but clichés won't really matter then
because I'll spend my life with you

A poem every day.
26/3/20

#note #377 #love #romance #future #wife

Mar 2020 · 65

Note 376:

Vic Mar 2020

Note 376:

Everybody's complaining about lockdown
But my feelings were already on lockdown long ago
And now they're on stand-by

a poem every day
25/3/20

i'm catching up with the notes, but life is asking a lot. i'm constantly tired, and very busy with school. i'll try to post when i can, but that's probably just gonna be when i feel like it.

#note #376 #feelings

Mar 2020 · 23

Note 375:

Vic Mar 2020

Note 375:

I'm sick
and
drained
and
so
*******
t
i
r
e
d

A poem every day
24/3/20

#note #375 #tired

Mar 2020 · 148

Note 374:

Vic Mar 2020

Note 374:

Dear Rich,
Happy 6 months! I'm really glad we got to spend these months together. It was a heck of a ride, but you've always been there for me. Thank you. Thank you for always listening, always caring, for just being there and holding me when I need you. I love you. There isn't really anything else to say. I love you, and I'm so, so grateful you love me back. We've been through a lot, but look at where we are now! We're gonna be okay. I'm so proud of you, for everything. I've kind of lost my words in all the poetry I wrote, but I hope these still have a bit of meaning. Thank you for being with me.
I love you
Evan

A poem every day.
23/3/20

#note #374 #boyfriend #anniversary #love

Mar 2020 · 68

Note 373:

Vic Mar 2020

Note 373:

just my type
you're just my type
but i was never yours

A poem every day
22/3/20

#note #373 #love #crush #type

Mar 2020 · 52

Note 372:

Vic Mar 2020

Note 372:

f
e
e
l
i
n
g
s

dripping down my cheeks

A poem every day
21/3/20

#note #372 #tears #depression #feelings

Mar 2020 · 87

Note 371:

Vic Mar 2020

Note 371:

There's a bruise on my left arm
I want one of those
There's blood on my bracelet
And tears on my nose

A poem every day
20/3/20

#note #371 #gore #depression

Mar 2020 · 46

Note 370:

Vic Mar 2020

Note 370:

I wish I could be with you
but I don't really want to

A poem every day
19/3/20

#note #370 #love #crush

Mar 2020 · 86

Note 369:

Vic Mar 2020

Note 369:

empty

-

oh, there's more empty here

A poem every day
18/3/20

#note #369 #empty #depression

Mar 2020 · 30

Note 368:

Vic Mar 2020

Note 368:

words
words
words

all without meaning

that's it. that's all.

A poem every day
17/3/20

#note #368 #words #depression

Mar 2020 · 37

Note 367:

Vic Mar 2020

Note 367:

i feel a little tired
the tired is there all the time

mr. tired likes to stomp around my head
at ungodly hours of the night

when you're awake or wide asleep
he's the cause of our despair

he doesn't ever play by rules
but he's always, always there

then i'm still tired all the time
and it's so ******* unfair

A poem every day
16/3/20

#note #367 #tired #sleep #insomnia

Mar 2020 · 63

Note 366:

Vic Mar 2020

Note 366:

drip
drip
drip

pour
pour
pour

the tears fall down my face

right into the bathroom sink

A poem every day
15/3/20

too tired to catch up. will probably do so later

#note #366 #depression #quarantine #tears

Mar 2020 · 196

Note 365:

Vic Mar 2020

Note 365:

If the beetlebee can fly another day
Maybe so can we

We don't have to be anything we aren't
As long as you're with me

I love you, oh so very much
Hopefully, that you see

I'll just wait here, next to the traintracks
Until you're mine baby

A poem every day.
14/3/2020

I'm a trainwreck.

What a hell of a ******* year this has been. It was a wild ride. Dare I say, the weirdest year I've had so far. The world is so ****** up, and in this world full of poetry with meaning we tend to lose ourself in the darkness. Let's not do that for once. Let's be happy. I know it's hard, and that's okay. I believed it even was impossible some times this year. A few days ago, it almost was. But, you know what? I'm still here, and if you're reading this, it means that you are too. I've learned a lot, been a lot, and seen a lot this year. I think the most important thing I learned, that I tend to forget often, is that things always work out. Just usually not in the way you expected it to. Life doesn't always have to be great. It isn't always great. That's just the way this world works. But, I don't think the world would be endurable if there wasn't sadness. Hapiness is a little surreal for me, and I bet it is for you too. That's okay! We're still here, and I'm so ******* proud. Of me, and of everyone who's reading this. Of the people who have been following since the beginning, and everyone who came inbetween. Now, let's talk happy. There's enough time to be poetic and sad later.
Since I posted note 1, A lot of good things happened too!
I stopped doing cocaïne!
I barely drink or smoke anymore.
I have a new boyfriend, and he's the best person someone could ever imagine.
I ****** up school, and I'm working on fixing it. I'm still failing, but it got better!
I made more art,
Wrote a lot of poetry
Started a book!
Re-modeled my room (a million times)
Got so much closer to my brother (and built some forts with him)
I made graffiti with my boyfriend (finally)
Started doing makeup!
Came out as a transguy
Came out as transmasc enby!
Got closer to my friends
Made music! (and released nothing)
Killed a lot of cactuses and got a new small tree
Made a lot of food, and baked a lot
And, I signed up for climbing classes.

A lot of bad **** happened this year, and you know what?
THAT'S ******* OKAY.
We're all still alive here. It's gonna be okay.

Thank you so much for all the support! I've posted letters here, notes, poems, song lyrics and sometimes it wasn't even a sentence. But it was here for me, so thank you, for not making it worthless. I'll keep writing notes till HelloPoetry goes down. I love y'all so much, and I'm forever grateful for you.

Goodbye fellow writers,
Until tomorrow

Your Local Grocery Store

#note #365 #anniversary #love #depression #poetry