I cried for you today
It was storming and my tomatoes are growing
I talked about you today
Because speaking your name feels like prayer
I made the dinner you like, and used our secret bath herbs
I still have your hair towel
I miss you
So I cried for you today

It's bizarre to be alive and know
that in someone's home, you're a ghost.
The question remains:
How are you remembered?
Does a smile accompany your name?

She’s carried me for far too long. My weight lingers on her shoulders; my barbs leave welts on her back. I lower my head behind hers to give her a moment with her reflection. I keep her awake some nights; her silent tears are a private performance. I’d have moved on long ago, but she can’t let me go. She keeps me close, next to her fear of the unknown. We create shadows on her walls each night when we dance. She’s sewn me into her skin; she can’t wash me away.
But one day, her threads will break.
From her, I’ll separate, and she will be free. And I will move on to the next, hoping I never see her again.

My best friend died
My boyfriend said he hates me
And I've been thinking lately
That it's not all in my head
I broke my mirror last week
I can't stand my own reflection
It was just some raw emotion
I can't wait for my damnation
Because girls like me
We don't get salvation
I sleep with my rosary
But God still isn't listening
I could tell my mom I’m sorry
But I doubt she would forgive me
And really I can't blame her
Because sinners come from sinners
I can't wait to die
Or maybe I'm just twenty-five.

A mother’s hurtful words
Remembered better than any prayer
Learn quickly
For your fate is in her hands
What a way to find
Your little soul is ******

Black ink covers pink scars
A sun on my leg, a moon on my arm
Hieroglyphs of a modern type
Telling a story that's hard to type
A journey through my ages
Blood and ink mixing on carbon pages
Permanence as fleeting as I
A memorial name carved into my thigh
Words of prayer linger on the skin
Reminders in moments of chagrin
Wearing this novella of mine

In a bed splashed by mermaids,
listening to the angels sing,
pulling on every heartstring.
Watching for fairies
and leaving gifts by the tree:
"If I tell them my name, maybe I'll be free."
Awake and unmoving,
gentle eyes greet a panicked mind,
soothed by the touch of the coldest hand.
The dead listen to the sorrow of the ******.
"Imaginative child, you'll grow out of it soon,"
I repeat in a mocking tone
and laugh with the moon.

Daddy please! Stay with me!
Don't fight in that war; we're already free!
They don't want you there, but I need you here.

Father, how many years has it been? Twenty?
Was losing the war worth losing me?
You didn't stay there, but you never came here.

Can one be hopeful without being a liar?
That line is as thin as the silk of a spider
Hope left glistening, like a drop of morning dew
Praying that the thread won't break too soon
Would a fly in the web find sunrise beautiful, too?

I vacuum the rug so it feels better to walk on the next day.
And now, I understand why all of your compliments come in the evening.

The end of an era
A life ill-lived
A story well told
The role to be passed
To the next lowest class
Just as the legends foretold

I feel sorry
For whatever you became each night
As your face grew lazy
And your words became hazy
I want to cry
For who had to wake up
In a bed that was made by somebody else
As the fight exhausted us both
Your body distorted
A trembling voice asking questions
To hear rehearsed answers again

“God, can you hear me?”
Such a childish plea.
“But God I’m your child, what did you expect to see”
Born unto demons, a demon you’ll be.

Grief lingers like a friend in the doorway, unable to say goodnight. So now I’m in a diner at 2 a.m., the coffee is getting cold
For the sake of conversations I had long ago.

I was the blossom on the vine, warmed by the sun. Awaiting my fruiting.
I was the grapes smashed beneath your feet. Left alone in the dark, waiting.
While time ate away at me, while forgotten, I became desired.
I am the wine in your cup.
Dark and drying, your senses dulling.
Creating a world unknown to you.
Drink slowly, can you truly handle the poison you created?

Hail Mary, full of grace
Wipe the tears from this ***** face
A sick hallucination, born of desperation
Begging for comfort from an unloving mother
Eager to please, a living disease
Holy Mary, ask God to have mercy on me.

The stains won't go away
Scour your palms til they bleed
The bone shows through
As you dream to be born anew

“Mama tried,” Mama lied.
Mama stole your car and sold it for a price
Married five times, Mama never could decide.
Always called me ugly, but I have Mama’s eyes.
Betrayed by fate, Mama hates that she’s alive.
Stay up late at night just to hear Mama cry.
It’s hard to feel pity when Mama casts you to the side.
There was never any love in the house where Mama resides.
But sure, Mama tried. Mama Tried.

The pen was in your hand!
You carved your way through the pages,
dancing through the exposition.
You reveled in the confrontation—
unaware of the impending ******,
unafraid, you read along.
But you’d have never guessed the resolution.
So tell me, oh author of fate:
as you bury your friends,
is your curiosity satiated?

A reason to smile each day
Is all anyone can ask for
This world can be cruel
But then there's you.
Each morning as my eyes open
Your skin whispers a prayer
Blessing me with the sight
Of the worlds greatest triumph
And if my eyes never opened again
I’d eternally dream of you, knowing,
To find love in this world
Is a reason to smile each day

The pain my heart has felt is a blessing.
Each time I cry for what used to be
is just proof that love comes easily
As grief washes over,
I’m grateful for the way
This song sounds different, but the lyrics the same
Imagine a love
That can change your perspective
It’s selfish to think
You’re worthy to keep something so great.

Berry stained lips
Brushed with calloused fingertips
The sun turns you golden
Like it did that first day
As your kiss takes my stains away

I wanted you to brush my hair
So we could talk and giggle
To sit at your feet
And be told how to be
A desire to lay my head on your knee
As cigarettes fill the air
The chores are left unfinished
And I am just another boring task.
So today my hair was brushed by me

My name is weird but so is your hair
Best friends forever
Carved in a classroom chair
Treehouse sleepovers
What girlhood should be
But I never showed you
So you never did see
Why the distance  came
Before university
I pray for your joy
I wish for your peace
Best friends forever
Never ended for me.

Mother,
You once loved my father’s face
You held it close to yours.
You brushed his cheeks with your lips
You embraced him with your entire heart
And now,
You despise my cheeks
Because they are his
You hate my smile
Because my teeth are the same shape as his
Did you ever hold me so close?
Mother,
Forgive me,
For what I couldn't control.
And Father,
You once protected my mother
You kept her close to you
You spent sunny days and rainy nights
By her side
But now, I can't recall your voice
Are my eyes really like yours?
Do I remind you of Mother?
Father,
Forgive me
For making you leave

Stardust swirls through the blackness
The faintest glow
Becoming an indomitable brilliance
The Moon’s rebel, the Sun’s insurgent
The one guarded by angels with shaking hands
Their exasperation echoes
Through my mothers lips
A hollow sigh
Felt deeply in the bones
Etched in the marrow, carved in the skin
Born of the stars
Born into sin