He is fall and she is summer
Calm and hot and colorful
Beautifully ethereal
Warm down to the atoms
In my bones.

He is fall and she is summer
And they've been new for centuries
Oxymoronic and lovely and
Warm down to the atoms
In my bones.

He is fall and she is summer
And people like them don't exist
Just a figment of realistic imaginings
Warm down to the atoms
In my bones

And there is no rhyme nor reason
And there is no word or articulation
And I cannot describe or indicate
And I cannot understand or make sense

But they are warm
Down to the atoms
In my bones.

Similar to body language
My typescript is a message
I sign every comment
To maintain a sense of distance.

I am an open wound
I can only try to heal
I push instead of pull
I rend rather than seal.

I want no one near me
I will run from closeness
I want someone near me
It makes no sense, but I digress.

My body language is open
My typescript language closed
My language itself undecided
As I type
                 feel
                            speak
paradoxical prose.

It takes little more than a kind word
To carry me through a month
To hold me up against battle
To force me, against trials, to triumph.

It takes little more than genuine praise
To burn a soul to memory
To lose all sense of proper speech
To fly unbound and freely.

And with a word comes a smile
I can't get it off my face
With a word comes gratitude
So potent my hands shake.

With a word comes a flattered feeling
That blossoms just under my ribs
With a word comes a jittery, happy panic
On which I cannot put a lid.

I laugh boisterously
I forget my usual frown
With a word I am lifted
And I will never come back down.

My lips are moving but my brain is not
I've got my smile handy, I'll never be caught
I'm nervous but it'll never show on my face
I'll pretend I fit, I belong in this place.

My hands aren't clammy, I don't have a stutter
My voice is steady though my legs are rubber
I'm sitting down, no one gets to see
I'm nervous, I'm unsure, but I can fake happy.

I'm an actor, a professional, I'm perfect at what I do
I'm smiling, I'm laughing, but, god, how I hate you.
I fly through moods as though it's my sole purpose
I go by an alias so no one knows I wrote this.

I'm nervous, I'm nervous, I'm ******* terrified
But far be it from me to be typically traumatized
I'm a 'survivor', I'm doing just fine, I'm not panicking
I'll never display the bad moments publicly.

I'd hand you the ******* world
But you're satisfied with the ground at your feet
I'd give you every atom on this earth
And the moon as a summer retreat.

Why the hell are you accepting the love
That's so far below what you deserve?
Why the hell are you throwing around trust
Like you can't fathom how much you're worth?

I'd hand you the ******* world
I'd love you beyond the simplicity of lust
I'd hand you the ******* world
Yet and still, is that not enough?

You're worth more than them, darling
You're far past the concept of price
You're engraved in the songs I sing
Take the world I give you, it's your right.

I never once said I'd do it for fame
But what else do you call being a household name?
I never once implied I needed validation
But what other use do I have for recognization?

I've never once managed to specialize in a talent
Since when was focusing on a skill such a challenge?
I've never once suggested I needed any fanfare
But who would complain if the world can't help but stare?

I'd never once say I wanted to be idolized
But there's no harm in giving it a try.
This is my denial of my own motivations
I just want validification in the form of recognition.

Just the way you are
For everything you are
With every wound this world gave you
With every badly-healed scar.

I may not know your name
I may not know your story
We may not be friends
But you have love from me.

Because this world may twist and turn you
Life may beat and burn you
The depression may crush and churn you
But I will live and learn you

Pain may wear you down
Anxiety may eat you up
Loneliness may strangle you
But from me, you have love.

Don't let the mirror tell you lies tonight
You're perfect as you are
Whenever you can't endure through life
Remember, to me, you're a star.

-Chaus

There is a pressure just behind my ribs
That crushes me, yet I cannot shake it
Unmovable. Untouchable. Incurable.
On my lungs and heart, the weight of it sits.

What does this pressure pull me to?
Why does it threaten me with death?
Unknown. Uncharted. Insatiable.
It will not move until I've taken my last breath.

This is what it is to yearn
What it is to grasp with the soul.
This is what it is to burn
To ignite as desperation takes hold.

I crave this thing I don't know
It pulls at me day and night
Like an addiction, I need it frequently
Lest the anxiety, the panic, should strike.

But it is not a thing, it is a person, in plural
So very far outside my league, urban versus rural
This is not even remotely healthy, but I can't turn
From day to night, from sun to moon, I yearn.

The Tallenge scam is still alive and well
Be careful with your art loves
Before they **** it to hell
Don't give anyone your trust.

Hold on, I'll impress you
I'll change your veiw of life
Hold on, I will amaze you
Just wait, don't leave me behind.

I'm growing, I swear
Don't you want to see me change?
I'm so much better, hold on.
Just.. I  need time, please wait.

I don't want to play a game
The game
I don't want to play it with you.
I want to devour like I'm starved
And miss you when I'm through.

I gravitate to your presence
(Get it?)
I want to **** the storm in me, blazing.
I want to see if your worth killing or saving.
I want to sate this insatiable craving.

You don't ship it like I do
In my spare time (all the time)
Instead of paying attention.
You're not as much of a fan as I am
You say I'm obsessed
I call it infatuation.

You can't fill the hole in yourself
Without a ship but you'd rather not
So you can shy away from shipping
I'm on a ******* yacht.
You don't understand the calling
Which is, basically, at this point, normality
And thus, I have no need for you
Go be a carbon copy.

But I will sail!
I will go down with this ship!
(**** tumblr to hell
For spoiling my ****!)
But sail, I will, even still.
Oh, in my battleship
I'll rip your OTP!
My ship is stronger
My ship is closer to canon in reality!
So yes, your pairing, I will shred, I'll rip.

Burn her at the stake
She speaks up for herself
Throw her off a cliff
She'll fall through the ground, to hell

Burn her, she's too outspoken
She questions society
Burn this ****** witch
Lest others follow her lead.

Burn her, burn her, burn her!
From blood, to bone, to ash
Burn her, burn her, burn her!
Rebellious piece of trash
Burn her, burn her, burn her!
Not even her teeth will remain
Burn her, burn her, burn her!
Until normalcy is regained

Burn her at the stake
Because she won't submit
Burn her at the stake
Until she lives how we like it

Burn her at the stake
Shun her until her day to die
Burn her at the stake
We want to hear her fry

Burn her, burn her, burn her!
From blood, to bone, to ash
Burn her, burn her, burn her!
Rebellious piece of trash
Burn her, burn her, burn her!
Not even her teeth will remain
Burn her, burn her, burn her!
Until normalcy is regained

And should any choose to walk her way
Well see to it they perish
We live out lives in constant fear
That they'll come to their senses

And should any choose to walk her way
We'll see to it they perish
We live our lives in constant fear
That they'll come to their senses

Burn her, burn her, burn her!
From blood, to bone, to ash
Burn her, burn her, burn her!
Rebellious piece of trash
Burn her, burn her, burn her!
Not even her teeth will remain
Burn her, burn her, burn her!
Until normalcy is regained

Look your best for death
Before you drown in a fairytale
You've marked the date with an 'X'
In red on your calendar
You plan to sneak out that night
And you've butterflies in your chest
But you've just got to have this date with her
So look you're best for death
"I love you's" are for the dead.

His little lover drowned downtown the
Emotions little lover found through sound he
Didn't know were too deep, little lover wasn't found but
Little lover sank and drowned.

Her little lover drowned on the highway the
Feelings in the songs little lover played were
Too heavy, even on a good day so
Little lover sank on the highway.

Little lover couldn't swim through pain
Little lover couldn't float on the thoughts from the brain
Little lover couldn't get a single break
Little lover just sank, sank, sank.

And he's crying, and she's crying
Little lover wasn't dead, little lover's dying
No one even saw lover's head above the waves
So little lover's somewhere rotting in the lake.

The funeral had only two attendees that
Weren't paid just to weep and look sad and
Little lover would've hated everything about
That funeral if little lover was still around.

Little lover didn't get a pair of wings
Or fly to heaven to forever sing
And little lover isn't burning in hell
But little lover isn't alive and well.

Little lover disappeared in a second
Little lover ceased to exist then
And little lover didn't tell, not a sound
Little lover just drowned.

"I know it's cliche, but-"
You may stop right there
As, yes, cliches exist
And nobody cares
But life is cliche
We're all just living jokes
With stories told and lived
Since millennias ago.

Be as cliche as you wish,
You can't change what's done
And the way you express it
Or the need to tell someone
Wear your cliche with pride
Because, years before you, another did not
And it tore them inside
And now, in the earth, their body rots.

"I'm in so much pain, but none of it's physical
And god, that's so ******* cliche,"
But it's the only description you know
Your played out storyline's seen better days.
Because it's such a played out, worn out cliche
But it's unique because you hurt in your own way
And lord knows we're all dealing with the same thing
Living a cliche and fighting for something to change.

You smile, you laugh; you hurt, you cry
And I promise you another in the past
Laughed and cried at the exact same time
Right up until the day they died.
Because you may be something special
But don't ever think you're something new
You're life's been lived, been replayed
By hundreds, maybe thousands, before you.
So, yes, it's going to be a cliche.

Don't trust a word I say
I'm a liar, I swear
I lie in public, I lie at home
I lie so well it can't be fair
So don't trust me at all
I even lie to myself
I'll cross my heart (hope to die)
But my fingers are crossed as well.

I'll never admit it
If only to spare my own
But somedays I run a knife across my wrist
When I'm alone.
I never break the skin
There's not a drop of blood
But I'm considering, thinking, 'maybe'
And that's normally enough.

But at the bottom of the barrel-
Where the sludge of Earth runs thick
Where I crafted my essence
Where I sometimes hit-
I don't want the knife
And I don't want a gun
I don't want a rope
I don't want to run.

I want to fall asleep.

I want to fall asleep
And simply fade away
And the world would never know me
That I'd gone or that I'd came.
I'd want to leave with a whisper
In the middle of a desert
Where no one is listening
So no one hears.

I'd like to fall asleep
And let it all end there.
There'd be no 'beyond life'
The be nothing, everywhere.
I'd like to simply fade away
As though I never eisted at all
I'd like to forget life and it, me
Like a friend I never called.

My head
        Shoulders

         Knees
           And
         Toes
Old, fragile, brittle bones.

I'm waiting
   For the number
       On the scale to




Disappear.

There's a small army
Of clapping people
In my stomach

I'm lonliest when my skin touches the bed
I want company most when the pillow cradles my head
I'm most desperate when the lights are low
And the space behind my eyes is blank as snow.

I want to talk more often at night
When all my contacts are asleep till daylight.
I'm impressionable, supple, at the sight of the moon
When all I do wait for the next day's noon.

I want touch more often before dawn
A lover to lay with, to sing disgusting love songs.
I'm more unstable before the sun shines
And I roll in bed to find nothing, expecting one of my kind.

I'm obsessive when the dark of night falls
And I nurture my obsessions as I wait for a call.
I'm irrational, illogical, when the sun's down
I turn my body to the wall and wait for any sound.

I'm at my worst, here in bed, tonight
With no one to hold, to clutch and call mine
I'm broken, shattered, in the moonlight
While the rest of Earth mutters their 'goodnight's

I move like a ****
I move like a *****
No, I move like a woman
And that's definition enough.

I walk like a man
I carry myself proudly
No, I walk like a human
And that's definition enough.

I speak like I'm white
I behave oddly to the colour of my skin
No, I act with intelligence
And that's adjective enough.

Strip me of your petty labels
I'll not be held down, I'll refuse their grip
Because I am simply me
And that's definition
And that's adjective
And that's enough.

This here is hallowed ground
Simply because I say so
Hold your tongue; not a sound
On this here hallowed ground

This here is a spiritual place
Simply because it is
Feel catharsis in the tears on your face
In this here spiritual place

This here is wrong
Simply because I don't understand it
Don't be like them or sing their songs
Because that, they, are wrong.

This here is right
Only because it's black and white
Don't you ever stray from what we like
Conform with us tonight.

Stupid little children come here to die
And stupid little children cry
Stupid little children stall for time
Stupid little child of mine

Stupid little children let the mirror tell them lies
Stupid little children jump and don't fly
Stupid little children's smiles reach their eyes
Stupid little child is hurting inside

Stupid little children are ready but so scared
Stupid little children waiting for someone to appear
Stupid little children can't shake the fear
Stupid little children so far but so near

Stupid little children scrubbing their eyes
Stupid little children so stupidly wise
Stupid little children so sick of life
Stupid little child of mine

Stupid little children no one understands
Stupid little children waiting for a helping hand
Stupid little children sinking in the sand
Stupid little children can't find land

Stupid little children
Stupid child of mine
Stupid little children
I'm one of their kind

Her smile is directly linked to his
In the same way the moon is to the tide
And they smile
And laugh
And cry
Simultaneously
As their hearts beat in sync.

Like two pieces of an endless puzzle
They fit when none of the others do
And they live
And breathe
And die
Together
As one entity.

The world is jealous of their dynamic
But no one is more jealous than me
As I wait
And fret
And rage
Impatiently
For the same dynamic to take me.

I am building
Building a home
Return here after
After you've roamed
And back into
Into my arms.

I am building
Building a life
A getaway from
From your strife
To make what's
What's wrong right

I am building
Building a family
A place for you
You and me
Where we may live
Life life freely.

Am I not your cup of tea?
Did I add a teaspoon too much insanity?
Does your mouth twist at the taste of me?
Am I not your cup of tea?

Or do I fit you perfectly?
When you see the crazy,
Do you drink deeply?
Am I your perfect cup of tea?

Am I far too bitter?
Can you even taste the sweet?
Did I add too much hurt,
To be your perfect cup of tea?

Or maybe you take your tea black.
Maybe I'm just right.
Maybe you sip and savor
Maybe I'm just the right kind.

Am I not your cup of tea?
Did I steep too much of me?
Were the additives too sweet
To be your perfect cup of tea?

It's a feeling of...of respect.
I don't think of them as friends.
I can't think of them as conquests.
They're above that, above me, above you.

In fact; it's more like awe.
It's more like being struck stupid
In the face of a star.
Except that's not quite right....

Imagine you meet your favorite idol
But you don't know it's them
But something about them calls your soul
And your body, until you become friends.

And it turns out they're absolutely unreal
It turns out they're...they're amazing
That's how they make me feel
That's how I see them

I can't just hug them like I do my other friends
And I can't just talk to them like they aren't beyond human
I can't just smile at them, can't pretend
Because they're everything I've never knew I wanted for me.

Everyone wants a piece of you though
And you don't even know
Self-depreciating like you're not worth it
Though the leash you've got on Earth's a perfect fit.

No, they don't crowd you
You don't have millions at your heels
Because they've learned respect
(Or they're afraid, if they touch, you won't be real)

Everybody wants you
Every single soul
Everyone, I swear
And you don't even know.

I don't what I'm doing
Or what I want to do
I don't know what career I want
To let debt alienate and misconstrue

I don't know how to love
I don't love myself
I don't know how to care
Unless it's about someone else

I don't know how not to panic
I don't know how not to care
I can't dismiss everyone's opinions
I can't pretend that they're not there

I'm just a kid
I know it's hard to believe
But take me at word value
And comfort me, help me, please

I'm just a kid
Stumbling about, acting like an adult
Waiting for anyone to take the lead
Because my little act won't hold

I'm just a kid
Wise and old as the sun
I'm just a kid
I'm stupid and young

I can't breathe
Yet I can't asphyxiate
I feel sick
My heart's skipping beats
For heaven's sake
Someone help me
Because the nightmares eat my brain
I can't see
All I can feel is pain.

Such a beautiful soul
That renders my own shocked
And society's freezing it cold
I need to make it stop.

This was a pursuit
This was my normal game
This is what shock is
I want to see you sane.

I'm heartless, without compassion
I'm a sucker for vulnerability
I'm a crow in her prime
And pain is so shiny.

You have company and, god, does she fit you
But you're still breaking, dear.
You're an old soul so tired and weary
But Earth still needs you here.

How dare Life chip at you?
How dare Life bring you down?
And you call yourself weak;
Taking the beating without a sound.

Have you never seen the inherent brightness
That rests just beyond your skin?
See your reflection in
And take your beauty in.

Because I can't comprehend
How you can't see yourself.
With your untainted imagination
When society's blinded by wealth.

I can't say I'm not like the rest
I can't say I differ at all.
But I have the eyes to see a miracle
So I can't let you fall.

You are an oddity of nature herself
That I wanted to capture, to chase.
And through your constant shock value
I now want to see you stay.

Help me
Because I feel it on the edges of my mind
Help me
Because it's ripping, shredding, devouring my kind.
Help me
Because it's so close, always just a step behind.
Help me
Because it's only a short matter of time.

Help
I'm after myself,
Help
I'm a danger, evacuate!
Help
Preserve my mental health,
Help
I need to rehabilitate.

My problem is my brain
Oh ****, it hears me now
It's always searching for ways
To make someone bleed somehow.

I'm going ******* insane
Someone hold me down
And tie me up with chains
And make me settle down.

I don't know how to fix this
I'm losing my grip on myself
So to anyone who's reading:
I'm serious; please help.

A better word
Would be
Apathy.

All the care that was wasted
For stupid
Inane
Things.

Whatever.
I honestly don't care.
Because you,
And them
And life
Have no purpose.

I am a creature of touch
Words are never enough
Say what you will
But prepare to back it up.

A hand on my shoulder
A kiss to the cheek
A tight hug that lingers
Say more than words you speak.

A brush of hands
So slight, I know,
Carries more comfort
Than words could tow.

A hand on the neck
Grounding comfort
An arm round the waist
Soothes my hurt.

Words mean much
They affect me to the nth degree
But if words are all I get
I'll never believe.

No matter what is said
I understand hate
And I believe I garner it
I bear it's weight

I crave contact
I crave touch
I'm a tactile creature
Words are not enough.

Everything I do
Every word I write
Every hour of work
Every dream in sight

I do it it for them
I write it all for them
I work because of them
I dream only for them.

A smile, a kiss, a hug
Repayment in the fullest.
A laugh, a simple touch
Makes it all worth it.

Every step I take
Every breath in my lungs
Every move I make
Every word I've sung.

I take it for them
Breathe for them
I move for them
I sing to you.

It's a peculiar feeling
The feeling of giving up
One second you're trying
The next, you've had enough.
Such a peculiar feeling
Of resignation, of being done
So here's a two-week notice
I'll be gone when day fourteen comes.

It's a peculiar feeling
On the edge of the mind
When you're brain reminds the heart
It's on borrowed time.
Such a peculiar feeling
For determination to dry
And shrivel, and crumble
And fall from the eyes.

It's a peculiar feeling
In a bad kind of way
It's a peculiar feeling
And I felt it today.

Earth may try to break you
And Life, she'll try to take you
Love may live without you
And Silence my let the pain through

But Nature will love you kindly
And restore all you've lost
You're a creature of the Earth
Of nature hard and soft

Stress may do you badly
And Anxiety may wrack your bones
Apathy may take you gladly
And Tears may drag you from home

But Wind and Water will grow you
Laughter and Love will heal you
The Sun will hold and cradle you
And let Joy come through

Don't let the Fire take you
Don't follow behind Regret
You're a spirit of Nature herself
An Earth sprite born and bred.

Half past nine
And the night feels so young
Despite eyelids too heavy to open

Inspiration
On the tip of the tongue
And tapping fingers on keys.

Thoughts prevail wrapped in affection
And the door to originality is awry
Affection and Muse mix seamlessly.

Confusion in delusions
What could and should scrape by
The heart and the pen are insoluble.

Panic within existentialism
No words come to mind
Affection is not Muse.

Separation of heart and hand
Leave old alliances behind
For Muse or for Affection?

It boggles the simple mind
That one such as you exists.

Adoration, Admiration, Awe, and Respect.

Like water through the deepest valley
Or snow on the highest peak
You exude creativity
So brilliantly bright and clean.

It baffles the simple soul
That one like you remains unknown.

Humility, Modesty, Understanding, Calm.

You're a quiet shock to the system
Of what society's expected
You're a reflection of a vision
Of a utopia unblemished.

Is it you within that smile
That shows so very fake?
Is it you behind the pages of that book
And no one sees your face?
Is it you behind the crinkle of your eyes
Are the lines from laughter or tears?
Is it you behind these expectations
Your voice that no one hears?
The world isn't waiting
The world cares not at all.
The world isn't waiting.
You choose to rise or fall.

Chronically
Ironically
It seems to be
All fallacies
Of things to be
That I'll never get the chance to see.

Jive and jeer
Laugh and sneer
A cough, a wheeze
Laughing at me
And all my pleas
I know in truth I'll never be free

But to clarify, don't let vague by, description of the fallen
Every molecule I'm made of has an infection, a problem.

Is it in my brain, I wonder?
Because even I'm afraid to check.
You've seen my anger, my fury
And my graphic imaginings of death.
And the jealousy that festers
And the perversions that I flaunt
And the lengths I would go
Simply to get what I want.

I've spoken of Misophonia
(God, I hate my ears)
I've explained how every sound
Causes abject anger or fear.
I've talked of how my brain
Just doesn't understand
A single 'trigger' noise and
I've either screamed or ran.

I've discussed my depression
I've described why and how I cut
I explained that my Heart wants blood
Though my Brain screams 'Enough'
I've mentioned my memory lapses
That are no longer quite selective
How the line of my memories aren't
Sequential; aren't consecutive.

I've written and erased just how lonely I am
I've written of tears through tears
I've written of hurt and of love
And even hope, or maybe fear.
I've written my family whom I hate to love
I've written my desire to be owned and kept
I've written my straying from beliefs and religion
I've written ****-themes of what has and hasn't happened yet

I've written my thoughts: why was my life like this?
I've written my thoughts: can I be someone else?
I've written my thoughts: can you change my colour?
I've written my thoughts: why wasn't I born male?
I've typed my heart: someone somewhere is gonna love you.
I've typed my soul: no one needs to see it.
I've typed my mind: you're useless, ugly, crass
I've typed the facts: I'm a *******.

And that's only a fraction of my brain.
Only a portion of what hurts.
That's only a taste of what makes me insane.
A glimpse of a wasteland of dust and dirt.
We'll go no farther there, not today
We've much more to explore.
It's not safe in my brain at all
But, perhaps later, we'll see more.

Now the problem could lie on my skin.
That's riddled with scars and life.
My skin that tells a story
Of pain, of hate, of strife.
My skin, god I always hated it
The color, the scarring, the texture
There's not a **** thing about it
That doesn't make me feel lesser.

My skin, you don't understand
My skin makes me, me.
My skin, you don't comprehend!
Color is all you see.
I was raised to be wary
Of everything, alive or dead
But skin was the selling point
I was the monster under my bed.

My skin explains stories
I never thought to tell
My skin holds trauma
In every atom, every cell
My skin is calloused
From scars and hurt and work
Like an ever-present melody
It's driving me berserk.

But the problem may be in my organs
Perhaps inside my lungs.
I remember at thirteen I felt trauma
And almost picked up and fired a gun.
But instead I chose a lighter and
A stick filled with cancer
Instead I ****** up my voice
Just so I wouldn't remember.

Maybe it's in my heart
With its irregular beating
And the constant stress
Chilling and overheating.
The unending adrenaline
The paranoia never stops
The suicide attempts
I'm sure my heart's about to pop.

And yet I may never know
There's too many issues
Every molecule I own
Needs to be made anew.
This was a checkup
And a shoddy one at best
But should I ever go in-depth
I'll write it all, I'll write the rest.

Friends we are
Friends we will be
We began as such
It's now habit for me

Friends we were
But you want more
You'll never confess
I'll never implore.

I'm addicted to my habits
And friendship is habitual
If 'friends' lasts awhile
I'll stick to the ritual.

So catch me fast
Before 'more' is scary
And make it last
So you'll always have me.

I had a collar once
Of black leather and sky blue fur
And it fit me snugly
It was all I could ask for.

When my thoughts rampaged
As they do very second of everyday
I'd wrap it round my neck
And the noise would fade.

They called me a freak.
They looked at me in disgust, I was shamed
Because they don't understand
The need to be tamed.

Whether round my neck
Or around my wrists and ankles
Without a tether, I fret
Thus, for that collar, I am thankful.

I once felt guilt
Worse than any other pain
It weighed me down
As though it waterlogged my brain.

And all I wished
Was to atone
For a whip
To sing to my bones.

"Why invite pain?
God, she's disgusting?
She's ******* insane!"
The words said to me.

But how could they know
How much I wanted to cry?
How much I wanted discipline
To ease the guilt in my mind?

I once heard a scream
And it scampered down my spine
Like it was a living, sentient being
Infiltrating my mind.

And I'm sure I'd be a pariah
If I ever told anyone
I wanted to cause that scream
To make it sound like painful salvation.

I once cried
I hurt myself as comfort
And the feeling of that pain
Was so very sweet and so very short

And they'd call me a fool
Yet I still crave pain
And they'd think of me badly
For what I can't contain.

See, I'm far from vanilla
I'm far from innocence
Because all life gave me
Was cold and cimmerian.

There's a word for what I do
A lovely acronym
And it's so far from vanilla
Most describe it as a sin.