Baby blue
And posie pinks
Intertwined with orange tints
Fill the heavens
For all to see
But especially
For you and me!

Golden rays that end the day
As the sun sets and travels away
We sit on opposite sides of the earth
Marvelling at gods mighty works

And through the dark days the sunlight thrives
How you’re here with me despite thousands of miles
How this moment is so precious and real
And how I’m always here for you to tell me how you feel.

Tonight we’re under similar skies,
And tonight I bared a beaming smile,
Because I know in this world I am never alone,
For I have you, my safety, my friend, my comfort zone.

Let the orange tones warm you,
And let the pinks fill your cheeks,
Let the blues be in your eyes,
So beautiful and unique.
Let this sky be a sign that we were always meant to meet,
And let this poem be a memory that we can always keep.

Tonight we were under similar skies;
Despite the hundred thousand miles,
Tonight I know we were together at heart,
Tonight I realised,
We’ll never be apart.

Every sunset was made for you.
You are god

I miss who you were

The circus is back
Flashing lights in my head,
Feeling petrified to sleep in my bed.
Blaring voices and commotion all through the night,
Even your presence gives me a ******* fright-
But you’re my panic alert
I see you and adrenaline gets to work,
then I can’t sleep
Wishing you’d leave me be-
You’re supposed to be my safety net,
My father, and my friend
But all you do now is scare me to death,
You’re driving me round’ the bend.
This isn’t the way to live my life,
I’m petrified, now I sleep with a knife
And pray to some fake god that I’ll make it through the night,
Because the hate that you show us just so isn’t right.
Please leave us alone because we’re fearing for our safety,
Panicked that you’re hiding in the attic waiting to **** me.
Life is pale now and my skin is too,
I’m scared that I’m gonna die because of you,
Fainting with fear whenever you’re near,
And smoking enough to tranquillize a deer,
I can’t go on like this,

And you can’t either

Why can’t we just leave all this behind and go for a beer?
It brakes my heart to see what you’ve become

Edward,

I see
           You
Withered
Rope torn neck
Blood shot eyes
             You
With Rotten fingers
With a Chelsea cut smile
         And you
With your insides spilled on the ground
        Purple neck
Bruised
And a chair that was high
And a ceiling that held you at your weakest moment
You wanted to bruise your immortality
You wanted to fly
Look at me now
Dying for you
Cut
Cut and cut
And ridged sides
And blood soaked sheets


And I see you
Dead
Dead dead
Dead
Seeing something new
You
With a black tongue
Oozing from your mouth
Blood and gauze
Barbed wire stapling you to me
And I’m cut
Bleeding from every pore
Every seem
And I cut
My wrist
My thigh
And still you are
Dead
Dead
Dead
And I wish too to be
Dead,
Dead,
Dead.

I see
You
Teeth dangling from your gums on strings
And sewn up eyes
And peeling skin
Flaking ash over me
Burning me
Plaguing me with sores
War torn face
****** creature
Worm infested
And mildew
Drenched with blood
Spilled
From me
From my wrist
And
You
At 18
With dead eyes
And dead skin
And a dead body
And me
At 16
Dying body
Bleeding wrist
Broken soul
Smouldering in your fire.
All
Dead,
Dead,
Dead.

In a crypt for the undead
Turmoil awakens
And you cannot even let me rest
In the grave you burried me alive in
I don’t want to remember you
But your ghost dances
around my head
And I’m stuck here forever in this tomb for the undead
will you ever let me sleep?
I feel like I’m living i  n        A        D   r   e  a  m

A mid May Day
Summer light
You turn
your violet eyes flash mine
And your hair dances with the wind
Causing anticipation
Setting love in

And I see you
With twinkling eyes in the moonlight
Lavender fireflies buzzing in the dusk
And you smile at me
Setting me so free
Of anguish and misery

And I see you
Floating in the mist
Of Rosie pink blossom
Carrying you away
Promising to see me the next day

And Then i see you
With him
And your eyes are black
And your teeth are rotten
And your hair is thin
The air is dense
And filled with sin

And I see you
With your Bleeding heart
Through your chest
Rib cage of moths
Witheringly thin
In your hellish nest
You will die in

And I see you
Where Dandelions grow from you
And bouquets I never bought you lay over your head
In this garden of death
Sing for me a hymn
To save my soul
From my deadly violet sin

Sliced Jugular vein
           Blue wrist
Fates fatal,cold kiss
           Body of blood
Coronation of death
           Deminishing life
The rotting smell of flesh

Ceased to survive
             Smouldering corpse
Decaying carcass
              Unnaturally enforced
Hair of spider web
               Deaths new bride
Funeral of the pulse
               Riddled with acide

Creature of havoc
                Crawls into bones
Eyes of maggots
                Crumbling tomb stone
Laying in the pits
                The worms eating brains
Bound there forever
                 Until crumbling from deaths chains.

drop,
by crimson drop,
contaminated blood flows,
down onto
his buried bones.

                                                         ­                   a painting born from blood,
a child with dreams of death and mud,
                                     bodies made of severed tongues,
dust and dirt fill their lungs.

mouths sewn up,
eyes sewn shut,
intense listening,
hear:
whispers of their deathly scriptures.

nothing known to them of mortality,
endless pain,
endless,
endless death.

i don't know anyone i am

Stare infinitely into the looking glass,
I see a face that's not my own,
Eyes that aren't human,
Lips that move without my intention.

My eyes are plagued with tears,
Flowing down my cheeks,
Madness seeps out of every pore,
I laugh at the reflection of what I see,
For it's not me.

Blatant,
Hold your cigarette upside down,
Blow the smoke out of your ears,
Wash the dirt out of the ground.

Wear your black bandana backwards,
Wear your heart upon your sleeve,
Keep your back straight at the table,
Before you're forced to leave.

Keep a knife in your knuckles,
Pressing intensely against your skin,
Keep your mind set on finding what you'll never find again,
Keep your head above the water,
Keep your eyes out of the ash,
Keep your frown as permanent as ever,
Keep on wearing this your mask.

Permission from no one to do nothing more than you do,
To  follow this path of nothingness that you so willingly would choose.

Aspirations have no meaning to you,
This world is not your lover,
You do not want a piece of it,
You'll just take your hibernative cover.

See a room filled with smoke,
Ash overseas the ground,
Dirt underneath your fingernails,
This dark fate that you have found.

You write poems to no one about nothing and keep candle light at bay,
Telling yourself that this is your life and that you're happy just this way.

Blackened under eyes  from a definitive lack of sleep,
But irises so bright that will never be defeat.

I love you my woeful lover,
Please look after yourself,
These cigarettes will **** you,
Before you **** yourself.

I Miss you terribly already,
Miss the space between your eyelids,
Where I'd stare through awkward sentences
To avoid through awkward silence.

Miss your teeth when they chatter,
When we smoked out in the garden,
When we couldn't sleep for all the heat,
Soft kisses began to quicken.

Miss your big Arms around my body,
You were scarred, bruised and battered,
But I Miss your sitting up incessantly,
And the fact you were always waking in the night.

I hoped for your life,
You forgot about mine.

Miss your teeth dug in my shoulder,
As we rolled in early morning,
Miss your arm dying beneath me,
As I lay there simply yawning.

Please forget me,
you were right dear,
I am cold and self-involved,
And though I'll miss you, old lover
I am weak and therefore fold.

I Get distracted by my music,
Think of nothing else but art.
I'll write my loneliness in poems,
If I can just think how to start.

Dot my I's with charcole pencils,
Close my eyelids,
hide my eyes,
I'll be idle in my ideals,
Think of nothing else but I.

I hoped for your life,
You forgot about mine,
I'll love you incessively,
Until the end of time.

This is the place where he lay his head,
When he went to bed at night,
And this is the place our demons  were derived
Candles lit the room at night.
this is the place where he cut his wrists
That odd and fateful night.

This is the place where we used to live,
I paid for it with love and blood,
And these are the boxes that he kept on the shelf,
Filled with his poetry and stuff.

this is the room where he took the razor,
And cut his  wrists that strange and fateful night.

I never would have started if I'd known
That it'd end this way.

His body didn't last forever,
It decomposed with time.
But the memories I'll always treasure,
Will last me until the day that I die.

I do not know how to channel a love that I wish that I did not have for you,

I don't know how to uplift my mood when I miss you each new day,

I do not know how I am to get over this,
I do not know how I am going to recover from it,
I don't know how to love someone new,
I don't know how to not wish they were you.

I don't know how to live a life that you are not in.

schizophrenia is back.

I talk to the creature sat at the end of my bed,
He takes his hands and places them on my head,
I cry into his palms,
He is humble,
He is kind,
The only vision that has been in the whole of my life.

I tell him my troubles,
My worries,
My pain,
He whispers and tells me to keep being sane.

I tell him I lost my mind a long time ago,
He says
"Oh my dear, no.  You are the one who's sane amoung a world that is crazy. Take this your gift and let your life flow."

He tucks me into bed,
Wipes my eyes,
Tells me to never believe anyone's lies,
He leaves me now,
Walks away,
I close my eyes,
And drift away.

After a lifetime of "my gift" giving me grief,
Pain, despair, and broken belief,
The creature he showed me,
That not all is bad,
There is hope still,
maybe I'm really not mad.

head hung low
where the road leads I will go,
it's a hard and a crooked life
when you're a dead man's unwedded bride.

the day moves slow,
where the road leads no one knows,
it's a hard and a crooked life
when you're a dead man's unwedded bride.

down by the road sits a man,
who's gray and old,
says the hardest thing I know
is to see your loved ones go.

where the wildflowers grow,
there's a lake that's dark deep and cold,
there I shall lay my bones.

down I go,
going to  lay my bruised bones,
and the hardest thing they'll know,
Is to have to let me go.

Run away, child,
Don't let me in,
I'm a demon,
I'm a devil,
I'll teach you how to sin.

Run away, little son,
Don't look into my eyes,
They are black-blue, they are deadly,
And full of dangerous lies.

Run away, little daughter,
Before your mind I will slaughter,
My existence knows no love,
I was expelled from above.

You can never run away,
Your mind is my slave,
I will haunt you until you die,
Never to leave your side.

Run away, child.
While you're still alive.

You sit in a room that's dark,
It's silent, pitch black.
in hope of hiding from the chaotic tragedy of the world around you.

A creak in the floorboards due to the natural rotting of a beam that has stood for too long, becomes a demonic presence creeping towards you.
Your mind becomes the origin of paranoia itself.

What was once your home has become a prison,
Your own mind keeps you inside the walls of the voices that you hear and illusions that you see.

******* will do that to you,
But if they try hard enough, so can people.

People can drive you to the point where you see things where there's nothing but empty space,
And to a place where not even the moments before you fall asleep are silent.

A sewn up mouth to stop you from telling their secrets, you'll never unwind the truth that you live to anyone who could help.

Isolation will destroy you, eventually.

Blood like rain come down,
On the grave and the ground,
Universe is hostile,
So impersonal,
We must devour in order to survive.
Neither the brave nor the bold
Will write the story as it should be told,
I won't give a moment of silence until the blood is flowing.

Vicariously I live,
While my whole world dies.

I know the pieces fit because I watched them fall away.

Mildewed and smoldering. We are Fundamentally differing.

Pure intention against lustful feelings will set two lovers souls in motion.

Disintegrating as neither one of us can kiss each others lips.

The light that fueled our fire then has burned a hole between us.

We cannot seem to reach an end to our crippling  communication.

No fault,
There's  none to blame,
it doesn't mean I don't desire to Point the finger,
Or blame the other,
or to watch the temple topple over.
But I won't,
I'll take the blame,
I'll call it quits,
What's a game of Russian roulette if nobody wins?

the crack of ice beneath a footstep as light as a feather,
how thin the ice?


albino child,
******* daughter.
white hair, red eyes, outcast,
no one wants her.

she's graceful, and kind,
her beauty is fulfilling enough to curse you blind,
though who would see it?
no one wants a ******* daughter.

so she will grow alone,
and die alone,
no family to love,
no place to call home.

no funeral,
no burial,
no tombstone.

just death.

Wouldn't death be beautiful,
It calls me now,
I must go.

The devil's tongue is long and rotten,
Do you remember or have you forgotten?
The games we played with him in the rain, it's all the same,
It's all the same.

I was a child,
Not long ago.
the devil haunted me,
He Followed me home.

I'll go
Where, I don't know
But I'll go,
If I have to,
To get away from him.

The wave was a torture
Of flesh and blood and bone,
He came into me and out of me
Forsaking every law.

Silence won't defend us in the sacred wars of our minds,
Time holds the only key to how we might survive.

A deafening screech won't keep us safe from whatever is under our beds,
stars are the ones who lost their sanity, their minds and their heads.

Oak tree, old and bold,
Green are his leaves,
Brown is his soul.
His mind is wise,
From the beginning of time,
He stood,
He stands,
In His secret society's shrine.

A river that runs red,
A blood clot causes death,
The wind cries,
Time flies,
Then slows down
And passes by.

Dreams were not made for this,
Nothing was.

No more sad songs,
No pain, no separation,
Strung out on memories, rest beneath the leaves.

"Someday" never came so I keep waiting,
I will go to sleep still believing.

No more sad poems,
Nothing anticipated
Days come and go without saying goodbye.

No more sad cigarettes,
I owe the world nothing,
I've been strung along too long to really care.

No more sad love,
I will serve no purpose,
I love everyone that I have ever known.
I lost everyone that I have ever loved.

like a cat thats not yet used to its claws,
i'll hurt anyone who i try to adore.
i'll leave engravements on your back,
if you try to love me.

i may be stretched out naked over your floor,
i don't want to open your mind, i want you to open your jaw.
make me feel loved, hasn't it been long enough?

i forget how your skin felt,
how close you used to pull me,
time was against us,
with your love you would hold me.

a feeling of being wanted, i don't remember it now.
i want to feel you inside me, but you're buried in the ground.

The sirens and the sergeants dont seem to mean a thing,
Take my hand, show me the way, we are the children that fell from grace,
we are the children that can't be saved.

One more nail in the coffin, one more foot in the grave,
One more time I'm on my knees as I try to walk away from your grave.

But this has got the best of me, and I can't seem to sleep,
I've come to realise that it's not because  you're not with me, it's because  your ghost never leaves.

Everything I've loved became everything I lost

Gracious grows the ghost of you,
I will never forget the plans, the
Silhouettes you drew of me are still here.

Black Sea, I failed to be a light you found in love.
Black Sea, the monster killed the melody you loved.

death moves amongst us,
And with such ease the poems that you wrote to me still sing.


I have a grave to dig, fast moving feet,
Next to your tomb stone I weep.

You gave me light,
Where it once was gone.
I made a bed,
Where you don't belong.

Living without him,
Living at all,
Seems to slow me down.

This debilitating cynicism leaves me throwing fists,
blindly, unkindly I deliberately hide so that you cant find me.

Unmentionable, the seeking of attention that we require,
and I impede my own desires with a silent fear of fire.

Hold me higher than your loved ones,
mask my bad intentions.
I wish I was as pure as my lustless suggestions.

You try to fall, I’ll hold you back.
I surround  myself with your artifacts.
My mind wanders with a sense of urgency.
I watched you fade away from me.

I discreetly try to imbibe the origins of your resentment.
Above me you reside as I strive for mere acceptance.

Escaping dignity, I ruined the bridges I built,
and bruised by your excuses I melancholicly  wilt,
condemned by a guilt that I can’t abandon, My love  for you is more than a fandom.

I’ve derobed your more times with my eyes than you have with your paws,
Our time together was macabre, Showing all of our flaws.

I hurt myself again today,
To see if I still feel pain.
The needle tears a hole,
The old familiar sting ,
Try to **** myself again,
But it's just another fail.

What did you become?
My sweetest friend,
Everyone I love, dies and goes away
In the end.

you left me it all,
In our empire of dirt,
you killed yourself, you let me down,
you made me hurt.

I wear this crown of thorns,
my self destruction affair,
Full of broken thoughts,
That I cannot repair.

Beneath the stains of time,
They said that The feelings would disappear,
You are dead and gone,
But I am still right here.

If I could start again with you,
A million miles away,
I would keep you so safe,
I would find a way,
To make sure that you stayed.

Why wasn't I good enough to save you from destruction?
I pray for the rain,
Are you up there?
Do you listen?

They say that if you **** yourself,
You will be sent to hell,
But God, were you an angel,
Beautifully, brokenly, emptily impelled.

heartbreak has  changed me,
i was crazy for you,
it's a sad world we were raised in,
They let us fade into something new.

I want to be haunted,
I want to be loved,
I want a lot of friends,
And a lot of drugs.

I want to be haunted,
I won't leave my bed,
I'm already crazy,
I'm already sad.

I don’t want to go to sleep,
And I don’t want to dream,
I want to feel alive, I want to feel free.

Waking up in Floating above the sheets on my bed,
Something tells me I’m losing my head.
I'll just snort more Coke, cut my skin and try my best to die again.

The world is ending in my dreams,
Every day for the last few weeks.
When it really ends they’ll fill my body with flames,
You and I will be a household name.

I'm here all by myself
These white walls have personalities, my heart is starting to melt.
so I smoke ****** from a pipe,
My lungs are rust
Take a line of Coke,
My brain is dust from all of these drugs.

I can't think straight,
I'll walk the plank.
I'll Spill my blood so sharks will come and Devour my broken bones whole.

In between hell and Earth I walk the line of the silver blade against my thigh,
My body is alive but my mind won't survive.

I feel a galaxy's worth of emotions,
Dump me in the ocean,
I'm drowning again
i can't any longer pretend that I am  my own friend.

If a gunman threatened me, I'd tell him to feel free to shoot me,
I don't want to be alive.
each day I struggle to survive, snorting 6 or 7 lines a day to keep my suicidal thoughts away.

to die in the ocean would be so beautiful.
any form of death would be.

sweet children, pay attention closely
I'm the voice out of the pillow
i've brought something for you
i've ripped and teared it out of my brest,
with this heart i've got the power
to extort the eyelids.
i sing till the day wakes up
a bright glimpse by the firmament
my heart is burning.

they come to you by night
demons, ghosts, black fairies
they crawl out of the shaft of the cellar and basement
and will see you under your bedding.


my heart's burning

they come to you by night,
and steal your small hot tears,
they wait until the moon wakes up
and press them in my cold veins.

death welcomed me,
But didn't let me die yet.

I inked my skin with your name,
As you swore you wouldn't play the game,
Russian roulette,
As good as you could get,
But there was someone who was better yet.

Spin the bottle,
Load up the gun,
And tell yourself  it's only a bit of fun.

The future can't be real,
If the deal is not sealed,
A debt you will pay,
For playing this game.

Spinning,
Spinning,
Round and round,
It lands on you as you bow your head to the ground.

Pick up the gun,
It's no longer fun,
Death is calling,
You're slowly falling.

Bang,
The shot was perfect,
Right through your skull,
As if It was worth it.

You fell to the floor,
I ran out of the door,
Never to return to our place we called "home".

It wasn't a game of roulette,
It was our series of events,
You killed yourself,
Due to the sadness that you felt.

So this is my spin on things,
I'll pour a glass and admit my sins,
Before I join in,
With your game of Russian roulette.

A psych ward is the place to be,
Come along, and you will see.
You'll be welcomed by forgotten silent deaths
and torturous screams.
An everlasting place of a need to be free.

Come on down to the "freak show",
We'll show you how we rock and roll,
Some say that we're unhinged,
But trust me honey, the fun is about to begin.

A lobotomy a day keeps the schizophrenia away they say,
An electric chair isn't the cruelest thing there,
By far it is knowing that you are not crazy, amongst a world that is.

We'll dance for you, we do it well.
But if we don't, torture will make it amends.
We sit here day on day, hoping for freedom,
Uncanny, unlikely, and an impossible dream.

A  psych ward is the place to be,
We'll grow old here and die a forgotten death,
The music is still playing,
The patients are still dancing,
This is my last day.

So come on down to our freak show, join our family, we'll show you how to rock and roll,
And die insanely.

We sprawled across your double bed for days on end,
Watching movies and eating Chinese food,
We cuddled and hugged,
But we never once kissed.

I wondered why you didn't want to kiss me,
And couldn't think of a reason why,
Until I realised that you, just like me, a few months before, just needed somebody to hold.

I love you, I never even kissed you goodbye.

A vision of black,
Heads bowed,
Women weep as he's lowered into the ground.
His mother cried,
So did I,
People couldn't help but sigh.

The rain flowed beneath our feet,
Into the ground where he would retreat,
A place as hollow as hell,
Where he would never  fit in well.

I look down at my arms,
Scarred and scorned,
I feel responsible for his death,
to his parents I apologise,
I wish to join him;
Every single day,
In the ground,
Where he lay.

Cold hearted,
Iced blood,
These feelings of pain, come in like a flood.

Blue veins,
****** lips,
Take some more pills, go for a kip.

Visable rib cage,
Hunched back,
Skin and bones,
Smoke some crack.

Black eyes,
Bruised lies,
Smoking in chains to pass the time.

Winter comes,
Cold and ******,
I sit here alone,
Waiting for you to come home.


Christmas arrives,
I wonder why,
You had to leave,
And no longer breathe.

So, I'll stay in bed all day,
Put the gifts away,
And remember the day,
That you said you'd stay.

I watch as the heat  on the window from where your hand has been 5 seconds previous to now fades.

Your finger prints linger there, begging for someone to notice them.

I see your blackened silhouette submerge into the forest as you walk away,
I know now, I'll never see you again.


My body will be a deadweight on velveteen,
A carcass full of memories of you,
Pure and true.

If you hadn't have left,
I wouldn't be found dead,
But the time has come to leave and I cannot wait any longer.

Prepare for the news, it will hit you hard,
I'll make you go mad, the way you did me,

Insanity insanity,
What a beautiful thing it is to be insane.

I woke up late last night,
To a bright burning light,
Heard people talking,
People fighting,
the world turned upside down.

I Wake up,
Then Black out.
How many hours has it been?
3? Maybe 4?
The light is gone,
It's all dark now,
The voices have quietened,
And the fighting has stopped.
I'm alone.

I thought I was in pain when the commotion was going on,
When the fighting was all around me,
When there was fire as the sky.

But I can tell you now,
That nothing is as painful as no one being around, as there being no noise,
And nothing is worse than being lonely.