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 May 2019 Eloi
Blckstr
If you could read my mind,
You’d see a thousand papers
Filled with broken poetries
And deadbeat proses
Full of woeful verses
With mournful pieces
Of unfinished stories
That are yet to be written
And failed to be spoken;
If you could read my mind,
You’d hear horrible screams
And earsplitting weeps
From shattered dreams,
Kept in a nasty notepad,
Scribbled on a bed
Of bloodstained words,
Ringing in my head.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the shadows
That lurk within me;
You’d hear the bellows,
Screeching the words
“I’m tired,”
“I’m a failure,”
“I’m stupid –”
I know it sounds stupid,
It’s pathetically foolish
And seems too *******.
If you could read my mind,
You’d feel the tears
I had ever failed to cry;
You’d see the people
That make the weak weaker;
You’d see the monsters
That consume my head;
You’d hear the hollers
That failed to be freed;
You’d see the heart
That still bleeds and bleeds.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the face
I’ve failed to show back then,
The face I’ve faked back then.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see a character
I had ever failed to become
If you could read my mind,
You’d be able to read
A book you never wished
To touch and read,
But sometimes I still wish
Someone could read my mind.
 Dec 2018 Eloi
lindy
j.h
 Dec 2018 Eloi
lindy
j.h
my first crush committed suicide.
i remember the hurt at a young age
from chasing him around his living room
begging him for a kiss.
from my young age i knew i wanted him
in my life forever.
through his weaves and gagging
running around the furniture and up the stairs,
losing him sounded foreign then
and having lost him now, still feels the same.
our fathers drank and our mothers giggled
born three months apart
our future planned together
both saying "i do"
uniting us all together.
life flew on by
us both fighting with ourselves
and downing the bottles underneath the bed
loaded and silenced
family portraits painted in red
long life memories all put to rest.
only one made it out alive
but it's hard to breathe
out of us how was it me
and you in a little box
where a diamond ring should be.
my mind keeps wondering
when will i stop chasing you
then my heart replays
every time you turned a corner
you looked over your shoulder
and how you smiled at me.
i miss you
 Nov 2018 Eloi
Lauren Pascual
seated at the backseat
with our song on repeat
she reached for a stick
inside the back pocket
of her faded denim jeans
i heard a familiar flick sound
only to see a lighter on her hand
silence fell upon us
not knowing what to say
i glanced around
trying to find an excuse
not to continue to blatantly stare at her
still, she is all i see
through my peripheral vision
savoring the smoke
letting it all fill her lungs
puffing,
inhaling
yes, a stick could ****
sooner or later
if no one dares to stop her
but what if she's already dying inside?
or what if she's just doing this
to fight the demon
who made its way inside her soul?
chained her heart
no plan of letting it go
i may have seen her burned her throat countless times already
yet, it still feels like the first time
her thin lips pressed against the filter
how i wish it was my lips, instead
 Nov 2018 Eloi
putiira
you
 Nov 2018 Eloi
putiira
you
you,
the song i put on my tongue,
the poem i whispered to my pen,
the love i breathed in my heart...
 Nov 2018 Eloi
zoie marie lynn
and i don't even know if i want to kiss your lips or just your skin
because i'm
     falling
       falling
         falling
           falling
         falling
       falling
     falling
but i don't want to hit the ground again.
are you sure your arms can hold the weight of my love when it's wrapped in wet clothes?
and are you sure it's the best idea to take this where the wind goes?
i'm not yet sure if love is a real thing
it's just a
   beautiful
  fictional
deadly
play,
and you still kiss me like i'm sane
but i know it's all just another game
so don't be surprised if i refuse to participate.
and you're like a
         cynical
           patronizing
             inconsiderate
           impartial
         callous
song,
but your vicious words still gently drag me along.
and i'm not sure if you're really toxic
or it's just all in my head.
because
i love you
love you
ove you
ve you
e you
you
ou
u
or maybe i love when you're in my bed.
there's a difference between someone telling you they love you and them actually loving you
i haven't figured it out yet though
 Nov 2018 Eloi
Hello Daisies
Sleeping all day
Never washing my clothes
Skin and hair a mess

I'm fine
I'm fine
Can't whine

Forgetting to eat
Getting sick from all foods
Never changing my clothes

Nothings wrong
Nothings wrong
I must still belong

Staring at walls
Headache won't go away
Putting everything off

It's okay
It's okay
There's other days

Crying while watching tv
Repeating my mistakes in my head
Can't sleep at 4am

Just another day
Just another day
Im used to this anyway
Im been feeling down but nkt really ive mainly felt nothing. The kind if depression that i didnt even realize was hitting me. Until i realized i hadn't been eating or showering or doing anything for myself. But even upon realizing it i cant fix it. Now i try to eat and im nauseas. I try to shower and i feel dirtier. Idk. Guess im fine.
 Sep 2018 Eloi
Wyatt
Her Kiss.
 Sep 2018 Eloi
Wyatt
Her kiss caressed my lips
and she took her time.
Her shoulders carried my all
as she broke my fall.
Her kiss was worth more
than my entire world,
but no kiss will last forever.
 Sep 2018 Eloi
Wyatt
Dream Girl.
 Sep 2018 Eloi
Wyatt
I remember your name,
yet somehow I can’t say it.
I remember your dedication,
you put much more into me
than you ever did yourself.
I remember the spring
in your step.
I loved your laugh,
it made the bad go away.
Your sunshine broke through
the grey clouds I made.
I loved that dress that you wore
when we went on our first date,
when I cried that night you swore
that you would never go away.
We cuddled together in my bed,
I remember that night everyday.
I had never found someone
who matched my soul,
you made me a better person.
I wanted to grow old together,
my heart stopped searching
for someone else when you
stepped into my life.
It was like a dream come true,
but every time I remember
the truth it breaks my heart.
You really were only a dream,
just a figment if my imagination.
You were a dream.
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