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  May 6 Eloi
Blckstr
If you could read my mind,
You’d see a thousand papers
Filled with broken poetries
And deadbeat proses
Full of woeful verses
With mournful pieces
Of unfinished stories
That are yet to be written
And failed to be spoken;
If you could read my mind,
You’d hear horrible screams
And earsplitting weeps
From shattered dreams,
Kept in a nasty notepad,
Scribbled on a bed
Of bloodstained words,
Ringing in my head.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the shadows
That lurk within me;
You’d hear the bellows,
Screeching the words
“I’m tired,”
“I’m a failure,”
“I’m stupid –”
I know it sounds stupid,
It’s pathetically foolish
And seems too *******.
If you could read my mind,
You’d feel the tears
I had ever failed to cry;
You’d see the people
That make the weak weaker;
You’d see the monsters
That consume my head;
You’d hear the hollers
That failed to be freed;
You’d see the heart
That still bleeds and bleeds.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the face
I’ve failed to show back then,
The face I’ve faked back then.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see a character
I had ever failed to become
If you could read my mind,
You’d be able to read
A book you never wished
To touch and read,
But sometimes I still wish
Someone could read my mind.
Eloi Feb 4
Baby blue
And posie pinks
Intertwined with orange tints
Fill the heavens
For all to see
But especially
For you and me!

Golden rays that end the day
As the sun sets and travels away
We sit on opposite sides of the earth
Marvelling at gods mighty works

And through the dark days the sunlight thrives
How you’re here with me despite thousands of miles
How this moment is so precious and real
And how I’m always here for you to tell me how you feel.

Tonight we’re under similar skies,
And tonight I bared a beaming smile,
Because I know in this world I am never alone,
For I have you, my safety, my friend, my comfort zone.

Let the orange tones warm you,
And let the pinks fill your cheeks,
Let the blues be in your eyes,
So beautiful and unique.
Let this sky be a sign that we were always meant to meet,
And let this poem be a memory that we can always keep.

Tonight we were under similar skies;
Despite the hundred thousand miles,
Tonight I know we were together at heart,
Tonight I realised,
We’ll never be apart.

Every sunset was made for you.
You are god
A poem for a dear, dear friend. You show me the beauty in the world, and I’m so grateful for you<3
  Jan 18 Eloi
Zaza
My lipstick
Stains his addictive tip

His intoxicating bliss
Caresses my lips
Suppressing that itch
Only addicts know
When they crave their fix

I'm addicted to his
Bad habits
He's my nicotine trip


So I chain smoke him every time I need a fix
  Jan 1 Eloi
Grace Conde
I hate you,
the way You
make my Heart
twist, dagger in my
chest, sinking, sinking,
my lungs slowly filling, Your
smile the only thing that can save
me. I Love You I'm So Incredibly Sorry
please come back, because without You, I
am Nothing: You are my sun, my moon, and
All My Stars, but I am so tired, and if I could find
a way to push You Out Of My Mind for good, I would,
and how I wish You were Dead, because I am screaming,
but No One Can Hear Me.

Never
Good
Enough.

NeverGoodEnoughNeverGoodEnoughNeverGoodEnough,
I Hate You, my throat burning with Vivid, Unfiltered Hate
for You, every time You Let Me Down, my mind
already bound with your empty promises, my
dear, can't You see? My heart beats for You.
And when You take me in your tender
embrace, slowly putting me back
together, I can finally breathe.
With You, the world rights
on its Axis. Please don't
Hate me, I'm so sorry
I Love You.
Eloi Dec 2018
Straight line
And a curve for the eye
Scribbling
Is no use at this time of the night

Or a pencil mark from light to dark
When moonlight is near
And daylight is far

Wallowing in
Blood and chaos
Strict curfew to never sleep
As I always have been

But a scribble for you
Is never far
Always a part of my nightly drama
Whether it a one liner
In my note pad
Or some white powder on a tile
I always tell myself it’s worth my while
Because it’s you
I see in my cuts and ridges
And it’s you I see hanging when I look at bridges

I don’t think that I’ll ever stop scribbling at night
Because something in my head was niggled at that time
That I saw you
Eyes wide open
While I slept on the couch
Keeping me company through the nights hours

And now it’s silence again
For there’s no where to go
But I’m sometimes so stuck in the memory of you
It’s only a passing thought
And soon it’ll be gone like your hair was
But I think of you at night
When my tears are falling.

how I miss you in the early morning,
When I’m smoking a joint and constantly yawning
And how we should be together
But I’m here all alone
Without our baby
And without you or our home.
  Dec 2018 Eloi
lindy
j.h
my first crush committed suicide.
i remember the hurt at a young age
from chasing him around his living room
begging him for a kiss.
from my young age i knew i wanted him
in my life forever.
through his weaves and gagging
running around the furniture and up the stairs,
losing him sounded foreign then
and having lost him now, still feels the same.
our fathers drank and our mothers giggled
born three months apart
our future planned together
both saying "i do"
uniting us all together.
life flew on by
us both fighting with ourselves
and downing the bottles underneath the bed
loaded and silenced
family portraits painted in red
long life memories all put to rest.
only one made it out alive
but it's hard to breathe
out of us how was it me
and you in a little box
where a diamond ring should be.
my mind keeps wondering
when will i stop chasing you
then my heart replays
every time you turned a corner
you looked over your shoulder
and how you smiled at me.
i miss you
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