I'll take to the streets with my flame,
Light up their darkness
So they can see the strength in my words.

I will not be silenced,
Made meek by the fear that my shoulders are too broad
For their expectations.

I will climb their walls
And fight for my right to love when I want
Or cry when I must.

And when the battle ebbs,
I will calmly sit beside the river and wait for you still.

When the rains fall from the sky,
I upturn my face,
embracing every drop.

Let the clouds cleanse me, reverse today. Erase
the blood, the sweat -
may the Heavens cry for me
so that I don't have to.
Let the thunder clap above me,
the lightning strike beside me,
charge me,
for I am drained of the day.
Bring me back to life because the day has weighted me and I am tired.
I am broken.

Let the rain melt me,
break me down until I am nothing left
but another puddle
among other puddles,
pooled upon the ground.
And after the storm is through, let me rest.
When the ripples have subsided,
and when the sun returns,
I will rise.

Is it really such a bad thing
To want to carry something good and youthful,
Nurture it to a mature and responsible success?
Maybe seeing potential
Isn't always a threat of failure.

The story is mine.
The voice behind the words that dictate where I will go
Is my own.
I belong to no one,
And as I write my path, I wonder
Whose story will entangle with mine.
And I know
I have to accept
The roles imposed upon me
Because as much as this is my story to write,
Yours belongs to you.

If I could breathe under water,
I'd swim to the bottom of the ocean
So when I resurface,
I'll remember I can get much lower than this.

I punched my reflection, square in the jaw
And she showed me who I really am.

Jumping rope with the alphabet
As I toss and turn all night,
Splattering ramblings across my eyelids
While I dream of you,
Your laughter,
A lullaby that eases me into the darkness not in fear,
But in comfort.
The guesses have been removed and now
I don't lie awake at night
Wondering if our bedtime story was simply unfinished.

It's simple for the devil to apologize for his wrongs

When he has no intention of making a home out of the arms that have enveloped him,

No plan to bed down in the memories he has created,

And no desire to keep warm the hearts he has collected all these years.

Your mouth forms a snarl
and when you bite at your words I can taste your conviction.
You live blindly,
a floating leaf in the wind
or the stream,
wherever suits your need of the moment.
I won't be the log in your river,
bumping your boat while you pass through,
and I won't be the tower breaking through your cloud.
I'll be the lighthouse
shining through the storm you created,
strong and still.
You can growl your argument
through broken teeth,
but my rocks won't be to blame.

The wind whispers through the trees and my heart flutters
At the graceful displacement of a single leaf.
The treetops dance,
Swaying slowly like an old man,
Gently rocking to the tune of a song long forgotten.
For once, I am still
And my soul is able to hear
with the precision of a million hummingbird wings.

I can actually enjoy the sound of my own voice
When it's muted in the crook of your neck.
Hearing it bounce back
Means there's something solid before me.

I rise every morning to the view of mountains,
An instant homage to my freedom,
An image presented by little angels-
Whispy curtains hovering by my window.
The sun slinks across my bed and demands embrace,
Humbling me to another time,
To night so long
I thought I'd never again be kissed by warmth.

My friends are made of cement,
Hard as statues,
never bending to the winds of change
No matter how wild the storms rage.
Somehow they chose me
To join their monument,
Although my corners crumble
And my creases are no longer defined-
I'm not as sturdy as I should be.
How do you ask a statue if you may lean on it?

Your name coats my tongue and my mouth waters at the sound of it.
The scent of you in my blanket twists my lips into a smile,
And I hum the tune of a song I don't know.
Memories of you curl themselves around my fingers
And I find myself stuck to the image of you lying in my bed.

I check beneath my fingernails
As if I might find a new place to hide,
And pull the blanket up past my eyes
So I can pretend I dont see the shitstorm coming.
The wind picks up
And for once I dont go to run in the rain,
Instead I roll under my bed,
At peace with the darkness swallowing  me.

You're a pillar of smoke
that rises up
out of a pile of ash leftover
from a fire I thought
I'd extinguished long ago.
You're the **** of a cigarette
now smoldering
much after I've quit smoking,
and the smell of you
reaching my nostrils
brings acid from my stomach
to my throat
and I'm forced to choke for a moment.
You're the dark ring
around the tub
even after years of scrubbing,
and I hate it because
it reminds me of the rings,
dark and stubborn
around my eyes.
You're the agitated
pressure marks
on either side of my nose
from the glasses I habitually wear
although I've far outgrown them.
You're the splinter
that sits just far enough beneath my skin
that any attempt to remove it
just furthers my irritation.
I can try to forget about you,
let you slowly work your way out,
but it simply takes one rub,
one bump in the right direction
to remind me
you're still there
and I'm sore all over again.
Simply the thought of you
makes me ache.

I ache from my shins
like I did that night
you swung a metal bar across them.
And my ***.
And my chest.
And the back of my head
when I tried to roll away from your thunder.
I ache from my lips
like I used to when they'd swell
from the contact of your palms
or your knuckles
or my teeth
so I could hold back my screams.
I ache from my throat
like I would for days
after you would grab me -
I swear you'd squeeze harder every time,
and if given a choice now,
I'd happily pick a noose
over your hand any day.
But most often I ache
from my head as a whole -
my eyes,
my nose,
my mouth -
my temples throb.
I can hear my own heartbeat -
Everything tingles
like when you would box me,
pack me up with your fists
into a small package,
sealed with the stamp
of your forehead
pecked against mine
like a hammer to a nail.

But every beginning has an end,
under pressure
diamonds are formed,
and it's only after a star is destroyed
that we see it twinkle from Earth.

Every bruised eye
has made mine shine brighter.
Every fat lip
has made my smile wider.
Every tear, every plea choked back
has made my song louder.

I am now
the tree you tried to cut down
but my seeds already fell
and I'm growing again.
I am the picture
you tried to shred
but I became a puzzle
and someone else
put me together.
I am the star
you tried to black out
with your darkness,
but I became the sun
and now it's summer time.

I've been stuck in this spot for hours,
Days now.
Because I know that if I move,
"See you in the morning"
Will become a lie.

I love you like the sound of the ocean
Before I even heard it coming it ripped me off my feet and sent me smiling,
Tumbling in a wave and I was full of fear
And excitement all at the same time.

Does her honey make every meal taste sweeter?
If not, time will break you.
Every love has a little sweet,
a little sour -
bitterness can boil over.

If she doesn't try everything before you,
she won't figure out what you really like.
And if she doesn't know your tastes,
how will she ever make your mouth water?

Do her eyes drool at the sight of you? No?
Then she's probably reading the menus
at every red light.
She could be drinking from another man's glass
and drying her hands on his towel
while you are too busy looking in the mirror.

Come take a walk through my mind.
Be sure to walk
in a single-file line,
keep your eyes on the back
of the person in front of you,
for if you misstep,
you're likely to be lost forever.
At our first stop,
I'll introduce you to the things
that bring me joy.
The happy things
that shine like the sun on my days
and ease me into slumber
when I snuggle in at night.
Here, you'll find my laughter,
my favorite food,
my best-fitting pair of pants
and my softest sweater.
This is the stop
where you will notice all the beauty
and warmth
and peace that exists within my world.
Here is where I keep my happiest memories,
the scent of home,
the feeling of a dog when I pet her
and the cloud-like softness
of a cat's fur
when it's purring like an engine
freshly oiled.
This is the place where I keep my love,
my passion,
my cache of motivation and ambition.
This will likely be your favorite spot,
and you'll want to remember this place
so please,
take a moment and soak it all in.
Make the effort to memorize
the grass that is perfectly green,
the crisp warm air,
and the sound of gently rushing water
as it passes by us down there at the creek.
You will want to remember this shortly
as we make our way to the next few stops,
because not everything is sunshine
and rainbows as they say.
Let us continue on,
now that everyone's had their chance
to charge their inner batteries
and fill up with warmth.
Store that in your back pocket for now,
because soon you'll be cold
and you'll want to take it out
to keep from freezing.

This is our next spot.
Here you'll find my memories
that don't make me so happy.
Everyone be sure to huddle closely,
and it would probably be best
if you all held hands.
If you have something to hold on to,
the demons that will surely surround us
cannot drag you off.
The howls and screams
are much quieter
if someone else cups their hands
around your ears.
Please remember to be aware
of your surroundings,
I know this is all new to you
but you must keep your eyes
open very wide.
Things come crawling,
slithering,
swooping in from all angles.
Without the proper training,
this can be very exhausting,
I'm well aware
so we won't remain here long.
Be sure not to drop anything,
don't feed the beasts
that are closing in around us.
Don't shed a tear
because it simply sustains their life
just that much longer.
Try not to look
at the dark, withering,
decaying black trees,
and the rain clouds
that are rapidly approaching.
That warmth that I spoke of earlier?
You may want to retrieve that now,
the temperature is dropping,
so let us hurry,
we're on to our last stop.

For those of you who need a rest,
you'll be thankful for this
or maybe you won't.
This stop is my favorite,
it is where I spend most of my time.
Everyone close your eyes
and take a deep breath
and hold it in for a moment.
As you exhale,
we will enter the space.
When I say space,
I mean literally.
This is the place
that is like the space between words.
It is blank,
like the expression on my face
as I am unfazed
by the ordeals we have just been through.
This place is as empty
as the lack of color in the air.
It is so calm
that there is no feeling,
the air is so still
that there is none.
Here I do not breathe,
I just exist.
Here I feel no hunger,
no fear,
no weakness,
but I also have no courage,
no strength,
no satisfaction.
Here there is no longing,
no need,
no desire,
but also no sense of purpose,
no accomplishment,
and no love.
Do not mistake
this white space for light,
for this is the purest meaning
of the absence of everything.
So ladies and gentlemen,
you have made it.
You made it
to the end of the trip through my mind,
and you have survived
just as I have.
But unfortunately for you
there was something I forgot to mention.
Once you have made it to this blank place,
it's nearly impossible to make your way out.
This is the end of my shift,
I am used to where it leaves me.
Here is where you begin your journey alone,
trying to fight your way out.
You have to start here,
where there is nothing,
and claw your way,
all by your lonesome,
back through the terror,
the horrific images from which
we just came,
to make your way back to the light.
You must go it alone,
in a single-file line.
But tread lightly,
because somewhere in all these ruins
lies my heart,
please do not step on it
on your way out of my life.

He rains down like lightning
and he strikes your sand,
burns your beaches into hardened stone,
and blasts away your vacation,
leaving you with nothing but the memory
of rotting fruit.

In one small space,
Time ceased to exist and we became the very stars we were in awe of.

Heavy sighing
Falls and rises around me

Yet amidst all that comfort
Darkness holds me tight to remind me I'm enough for only myself.

We were lovers before we were friends.
You wanted to build a nest in my tree
before bothering to climb it
or learning me
to see whether or not my branches
could hold your home
filled with things upon things.
You wanted big things
nice things
shiny and expensive things.
You didn't want to decorate me,
you wanted to use me like a coat rack
to hold your winter coat
over summer.
You never asked if I liked things.
You assumed
that there are things I like
and things that I don't like
but it isn't things that I want -
it's people
and feelings
and moments.
It's everything that can't be bought
that brings me joy.
But you,
you were so sure
that if you filled my mouth with
money
it would mute the sound of my discontent.
But it only made me creak louder.
And when you tried to keep my hands busy
with the job of holding the things
you bought for me,
you thought
it would stop me from
pushing you away
when you whispered at night
that you loved me,
and now it was my turn to say thank you
by doing things
written in fine print
at the bottom of your receipts.
But you can't pay me to stand tall,
to hold your things high off the ground
when the flood waters rise.
You can't place your coins in a slot
to make a tree bend to your wind
or let you tether off your boat
to weather a storm beneath her limbs.
You slipped me so many tips,
but I don't have a price.
We were lovers before we were friends,
and we were strangers long
before we said goodbye.

As all the paths of me converge,
The good, the questionable;
The warm, the ugly;
The hopeful, the ******--
All parts converge like waves
Crashing upon the sand,
And I'm swept away by my own thoughts,
Drowning in what I thought was confidence, a blessing,
Only to eat the sand that was awaiting.

Darkness pours in and dampens the shimmer of my stars.
My voice is lost to the expanse before me,
Muted as my soul searches for your echo.
The silence is deafening but the music we made keeps my heart on repeat.

Today I hope you're able to get through the whole day with confidence,
With a lust for life that shines through your smile.
Today I hope you are enough for yourself.

Today I hope the mistakes you made yesterday fade into last week,
Last month,
Until they're lost to time forever.
Today I hope you can forgive yourself.

Today I hope time slows down and you can wallow in happiness,
That you drown in euphoria and the sound of laughter deafens your tears.
Today I hope you finally dream of tomorrow.

I've forgotten my legs,
how to hold myself steady without leaning.
I've been so busy finding my voice
I lost the value of shutting the **** up
to let the silence show me where to go next.
The Earth spins and no one is around -
what a reminder how important it is to maintain your center,
since they don't make helmets to protect you from your own mistakes.

The cemetary rabbit is dead
And I didn't realize it until I awoke with a cricket on my face.
He's almost dead too,
But to break my curse I had to release him
To die in peace,
Outside where he belongs.

Someday the words will come,
Before I can draw my sword and straighten my shoulders.
They'll burst from my mouth like a gunshot,
A blast from the cannon in my chest.

Once I'm ignited, there's no stopping the war.

Ice-cold beer
Late nights
And your smile -
The things I cannot resist.

The summer sun
A heavy sweater
And the touch of your hand -
The things that make me melt.

Your voice, my favorite song -
Your breath, the blanket that's kept me warm -
Your eyes -
The only stars I need to see.

Does your name define who you become,
Or do you give meaning to your name?
If the latter answers that question,
In what way have I brought pride to mine?

The difference is hidden in how I feel even when you're gone.
I still feel whole,
Like a part of me is just somewhere else
But it will be back,
Because it said it would be.
And I don't feel like I'm going to die
Every time I wake up alone
Or rest my head
In my own hands
Because that doesn't mean that
I've crumbled,
It only means I can hold myself together.

I have no name,
At least
I must have forgotten it
For no one calls it out in the night-
Or by day.
I am a service,
A place for people to find their way home,
Which is never with me.
I will dress your proof of battle,
Fill your stomach and send you on your way
And in time,
You'll forget me.
But I'll slide into sleep at night
Murmuring thanks to the stars
That you've found your peace.

If I could collect all the tears I've cried
And hand them back to the persons responsible,
Some of you would be dry as the summer sun,
others may be soaked.
But somehow I'll still be the one
Who drowns in the end.

That storm that rages within you,
let it out.
Throw your wind at the trees
and learn what can stand the test.
Drop your rain in buckets,
flood the neighboring towns
and overflow the river.
Let it all go.
Clouds can't hold more than they're meant to,
and neither can you.

That storm that rages within you,
let it out.
Throw your wind at the trees
and learn what can stand the test.
Drop your rain in buckets,
flood the neighboring towns
and overflow the river.
Let it all go.
Clouds can't hold more than they're meant to,
and neither can you.

I just want to remember what it's like to feel warmth from another soul,
Let it shine on me without fear or hiding from the light.
I want to go back to when I didn't feel like I had anything to run from,
Anyone I had to escape before I could feel worthy of taking a new hand.
I want to demolish these walls that I had to build
Just to prove I could keep myself safe
And sane,
Because I'm tired of being the only one on this side.

That White Devil,
shiny
and pristine,
has she stolen you,
torn you from me?
Sweet-talking you,
ripping you from my grasp?
I know she has
your attention,
there's no denying that.
But at night,
when my eyes
close,
will you be
beside
me,
or will the scent of her
fill your nose,
as you follow her
off into the dark?
Will her promise
of happiness
fulfill
your every wish?
I know her song.
I've heard it
with
my own ears, long,
long ago.
She lit my soul,
took me by the hand
to dance,
to spin
in the wind,
play
in the rain -
She mesmerized me -
But in the morning when I woke,
she was gone,
just
as she will do to you,
and then,
what will you do?
Come home to me?
No.
You can try,
come to me by the light,
but I will have found
my sturdy ground
to walk upon without you.
I will start
anew
again,
don't forget I can -
I can hold it down
without your hand.
I walked alone once,
and I'll do it again.