Leave for the crows
To peck at,
Desecrate
The body of what once was full
And alive with the promise of a happy life.

Leave for the birds
The seeds of what we tried to grow
But you chose
To plant a secret garden.

Scatter
The wreckage of what we built
Upon the soil and hope
If we try again
In time the harvest will thrive.

I wrap myself in your promises
As they roll off your tongue like velvet,
A cloak that keeps me warm like
Your arms that do not lie.
Your eyes
All the colors of the earth,
A tunnel to wonderland where I trip
And fumble
And stumble my whole way
But you're always there to catch me
As I fall.

Sleep sound, love,
And the let myself and the shadows handle the world for the night.
I'll keep the blanket straight and the darkness will cater your dreams.
I'll trace the constellations on your back and the darkness can give them a place to shine.

If my river of thoughts had a sound
You would hear the current pulling me,
Ripping me down
To the bottom of the low I've built myself
Under waves where I cant breathe.
And no one hears the screams for help
Because every gasp for air i take
I start to enjoy my lungs filling with water
Because I know it will soon be quiet.

Flowers do not bloom within her.
Seeds do not sprout
And the only roots she sees are her own,
Withering with age and leaving her to find her way alone.
This temple sees only weather,
Torrential abuse because it doesn't do its job
It fails
To produce
Anything.
Nothing.
Every passing week is simply another reminder that
At the end of the road
There will be no semblance of immortality,
The end of the road will be just that.
The end of her,
Her name,
Her grief.
Gardens bloom around her,
But the willow weeps and dries up.
She may keep her sleep,
But that's all she'll have at the end of the day.

Maybe the reason I thought your eyes were a different color
Was because they seemed so dark
So heavy with worry and sadness.
I didn't see the sun shining in your eyes,
Didn't realize the grass was gleaming,
Bursting like flowers in the summer time.
Maybe you just needed a little love to help them grow.

I love you like the sound of the ocean
Before I even heard it coming it ripped me off my feet and sent me smiling,
Tumbling in a wave and I was full of fear
And excitement all at the same time.

Noise like static and a never-ending rush of squelching and alarm bells sounding,
Insistent on shredding my sanity and tearing the confidence from my core
But the warmth you carry with you invites itself into me
And makes me whole again.

There are 3 lights on my ceiling fan,
None of which do I turn on for a majority of the time I spend staring at it,
I dont mind the darkness anymore.
It isn't for the lumination that I find myself engrossed,
It's the constance, the momentum that I admire,
That sets my head spinning
Wishing
my only job was to keep going.

My words swirl like sparklers in the night,
Thoughts appearing in a blaze of fire
Only to trail away as the cold closes in.
And what once dazzled like glitter in the air
Is encapsulated in only the memory of something burnt.

There's a lock of grass in my pocket and clusters of stars behind my ears.
The warmth in my heart remains kindled by the guiding moon,
While I drink the air given to me -
A gift I wish not to squander.
The music of the trees and the cleansing from the river
Are the reminders I wear around my neck
So that I may one day earn the grace to be here.

Ice-cold beer
Late nights
And your smile -
The things I cannot resist.

The summer sun
A heavy sweater
And the touch of your hand -
The things that make me melt.

Your voice, my favorite song -
Your breath, the blanket that's kept me warm -
Your eyes -
The only stars I need to see.

I heard Love speak his own name, and the way
It sounded as it slid from his lips
Made my heart dance to steps I don't remember learning.

Love played me a record,
The music his heart beats to
While he whispered my name, and I don't think
I've ever heard more beautiful lyrics.

I wrote Love a song  -
He kept time and his eyes on mine
As my heart sang out
And we danced our thanks beneath the stars.

I couldn't tell you the last time someone drooled a promise,
And actually followed through with those hungry eyes.

Your name coats my tongue and my mouth waters at the sound of it.
The scent of you in my blanket twists my lips into a smile,
And I hum the tune of a song I don't know.
Memories of you curl themselves around my fingers
And I find myself stuck to the image of you lying in my bed.

Flea market jars and costume jewelry,
Full moon light
And the stars hiding behind the trees so we have to huddle close to point at the same ones.
Saturday morning breakfast
And the smell of your clothing after you've stoked a campfire -
The are the only reasons I've ever wanted to wake up early.

Everything I thought i knew
Ceased to be true the moment
You smiled my way.
The green of the sky dropped out
And purple doves shot rainbows out their eyes.
Nothing in the world is as it was,
But my hand is in yours
And there's no more denying
It all makes sense.

She was too busy screaming
*******
To hear him quietly realizing his mistakes.
But eventually the world went quiet,
And as she retreated to lick her wounds and move on,
He learned her favorite song and sang it patiently,
Every night,
Until the melody lead her back home.

Many nights I spent
Acquainting myself with the speed of my ceiling fan
While I tried not to think of you.
Your sounds,
Your smell,
How my insides felt heavier when you were not around.
As I look at my fan,
Lying on my back quietly,
Its only job is to keep me cool,
As you keep me warm.

Jumping rope with the alphabet
As I toss and turn all night,
Splattering ramblings across my eyelids
While I dream of you,
Your laughter,
A lullaby that eases me into the darkness not in fear,
But in comfort.
The guesses have been removed and now
I don't lie awake at night
Wondering if our bedtime story was simply unfinished.

The strongest hands that have ever grazed my lower back
Hold my face with such delicacy,
It's clear you're not here to hurt me.
I swore
I'd never return here
I'd never go back to this place
But what's safe
Can't be argued,
And I've never slept more soundly
Than I do beside you.

What a seemingly endless, barely apparent path I have traveled
To be welcomed into the comfort of
Only me, I
Myself,
Have timidly found that there is nothing more relevant to my choices than
Me. Only I
Can arrive at the realization
That us
And we do not exist,
Cannot manifest
Because neither he, her, she, nor him -
And especially not you -
Makes any difference in the end.

Silent sunrise
Or cataclysmic rainfall.
The magic exists regardless of what you want,
But you have to make the choice whether or not you want to see just how beautiful it is.

Sure
Of course
No problem
That's ok
I'm fine.
Maybe
Not really
Eh..
Actually
No thanks
Never mind
Forget it
Turn around
Run.

She closed her eyes.
She went deep within herself until the world became quiet,
And she found the notes to the hymn she was born with.
She sang like the birds
And danced like the trees,
While the rain cleansed her soul
And made her feel whole again.
She was saved.

Our eyes only show us what we're looking for,
The things like bright smiles, winks, and belly laughs.
We train ourselves not to pick up on the gray things like
Side steps and shoulder shrugs,
Small memories shared in the moonlight that fall on deaf ears.

Better to be blinded by the truth
Than live thinking blue is the grass that is supposed to be greener,
Or that the sky is red because it's warm,
For that only means the world is burning down.

There's a mask stuck to my face.
I didn't put it there,
Wearing it like an opportunity for fun.
It grew upon me,
From me,
The result of all i have tried to erase of me,
Every fear,
Every worry,
Worn into this mask to remind me
That I am more
Than what I allow the world to see.

The cemetary rabbit is dead
And I didn't realize it until I awoke with a cricket on my face.
He's almost dead too,
But to break my curse I had to release him
To die in peace,
Outside where he belongs.

I have no name,
At least
I must have forgotten it
For no one calls it out in the night-
Or by day.
I am a service,
A place for people to find their way home,
Which is never with me.
I will dress your proof of battle,
Fill your stomach and send you on your way
And in time,
You'll forget me.
But I'll slide into sleep at night
Murmuring thanks to the stars
That you've found your peace.

I leave my dishes ***** so I have nothing to eat from,
Sadness makes me hungry and I dont want to be fat.
I dont shower until I'm crawling out of my skin
Because then I have an excuse to avoid people.
I sleep
So I can dream of better days
But in my nightmares you're there anyway,
Following me all through the night
Until I awake tired, unrested.
I'm a fool.
I stand before my mirror in the sunrise
And beg myself
Forgiveness for failure,
But I drop my gaze,
And all I can see is the darkness of the drain,
And little bits of myself circling it.

You get what you see
With me
But what you don't see
Is what ill always keep inside.
It is not yours, but mine,
And if I choose to show you
It is still mine.
I will take it with me when you go,
Or ask me to leave,
And then all you have left
Are the promises
You couldn't keep.

Like moths to a flame or a sad man staring from the top of a bridge
We're drawn to the places where we should not go.
The places that make us feel better,
Help us forget what makes us hurt.
If only looking ourselves in the mirror was enough keep the steam from fogging up our reflections.

How many times can I really get back up
After being knocked down, again and again.
How many times do I get back up
Before I start calling myself stubborn?
Just let it be,
Accept failure for what it is
And call it out by name when turning out the lights.

As all the paths of me converge,
The good, the questionable;
The warm, the ugly;
The hopeful, the ******--
All parts converge like waves
Crashing upon the sand,
And I'm swept away by my own thoughts,
Drowning in what I thought was confidence, a blessing,
Only to eat the sand that was awaiting.

The wind whispers through the trees and my heart flutters
At the graceful displacement of a single leaf.
The treetops dance,
Swaying slowly like an old man,
Gently rocking to the tune of a song long forgotten.
For once, I am still
And my soul is able to hear
with the precision of a million hummingbird wings.

The story is mine.
The voice behind the words that dictate where I will go
Is my own.
I belong to no one,
And as I write my path, I wonder
Whose story will entangle with mine.
And I know
I have to accept
The roles imposed upon me
Because as much as this is my story to write,
Yours belongs to you.

I haven't finished every book I've ever read
So it makes sense that I may leave some chapters incomplete as well.
Sometimes, in place of turning the page,
I'd prefer to close the book --
Burn it, perhaps.
But even as the library goes up in flames,
You will always be my favorite book on the shelf,
And this summer the best chapter.

I've forgotten my legs,
how to hold myself steady without leaning.
I've been so busy finding my voice
I lost the value of shutting the **** up
to let the silence show me where to go next.
The Earth spins and no one is around -
what a reminder how important it is to maintain your center,
since they don't make helmets to protect you from your own mistakes.

Won't someone just turn on the ******* lights already?
It's so **** dark I haven't been able to see clearly in
I couldn't tell you how long.
I thought the sun was finally rising
not long ago,
but as it would happen
it was me,
only forgetting my last candle was lit
and before I could warm myself up,
it burnt out.

The further I trudge through this journey,
this trip to the center of me,
the less I recognize the voice that slides from my lips.
These hands are merely extensions,
a way for me to clutch this word and all I've known,
grappling for a lifeline to hold me steady.
The signs these eyes perceive -
the pain they have held,
the fear they have tried to ignore -
they're simply reading a book that
I've written,
yet
I don't know the ending.

Who,
or what, would you be running from,
or to?
Would you be aiming for a vacation, some relaxing,
a respite in the sand?
Or would you be trying to escape something,
or someone,
that is persistently after you in this moment?
Upon prompt,
did your mind flip to a lover's arms, a safe place of warmth
or did your stomach drop
at the thought of a pair of cold,
sharp eyes you'd love to hide from?

Or are you one of the lucky ones,
one of the blessed that feels no discomfort in this exact place and time?

For me, this has only existed in time, not space.
A time when the words in my mind echo the advice I give with love-
"Be kind to yourself."
"Stand tall, chin up."
"Things will get better."
It is a time when I feel peace in all the parts of my body
That are usually tense like an unmaintained machine,
Or when I take a deep breath,
And upon exhale I melt into a puddle of rest-
Not in defeat,
But in comfort.

He gripped her hand and called her "dangerously beautiful,"
From a place one could only describe as where his broken pieces must lie.
Who taught this man the lesson,
That someone could be a such pleasure to behold,
So much that he'd face punishment for enjoying it?
Who is the source of the fear he held in his eyes,
As he clutched her hand, frozen,
Silently expecting her to rake his heart across the coals?

Today I hope you're able to get through the whole day with confidence,
With a lust for life that shines through your smile.
Today I hope you are enough for yourself.

Today I hope the mistakes you made yesterday fade into last week,
Last month,
Until they're lost to time forever.
Today I hope you can forgive yourself.

Today I hope time slows down and you can wallow in happiness,
That you drown in euphoria and the sound of laughter deafens your tears.
Today I hope you finally dream of tomorrow.

In 5 years, you are going to remove all mirrors and reflective surfaces from your home because of what you are doing to yourself, right now.
Every day that passes, you **** a little bit more of the hope that you can beat this forever.

In 10 years, you'll think you're so healed that being the size of 2 of you now, is something you're actually proud of.  But in 14 years, you'll be sliding so dangerously, head first and upside down, right back into the hole you'll swear you had filled in.

And in 15 years, you'll be writing this letter, begging for the slightest hope that in another life, this message will reach you before that last bite.

Darkness pours in and dampens the shimmer of my stars.
My voice is lost to the expanse before me,
Muted as my soul searches for your echo.
The silence is deafening but the music we made keeps my heart on repeat.

You're bleeding.
You're getting it all over me,
All over my ****.
You're leaking it on everything
And it's going everywhere.
It's already in every part of my life,
I made a mistake
And took memories of you everywhere
And left them lay.
Now you've become part of my day,
Part of my night.
I put you away
And you still find a place to sneak in.
You warned me,
You didn't want this.
But here I am,
Trying to figure out
Whether I want to clean it up or just throw it out.

Maybe I'll be presented
With something of higher priority
That I'll choose to ignore
Because the threat of being with you
Looms over me like a pinata,
Just slightly out of my reach.

You know,
Maybe might
Actually sting worse
Than an outright no.