breathing off these fumes,
getting high as a kite,
forgetting everything around us,
as the world becomes a blur

faces turn to  blotches of colours,
words into background noise,
speech to meaningless slurs,
as we struggle to hold our poise

I am a hurricane.
I am the storm that brings the darkness.
Leaving a trail of destruction in its wake,
With no mercy for all.

They're piling on top of me, one by one,
Pulling me under, pushing me down,
Like shackles on my limbs, weighing more than a tonne,
Invading my lungs, as I try not to drown.

She loves you with every fibre of her heart,
And would follow you to the end of all time,
Her soul yearns dear to be your counterpart,
To be with you forever and a lifetime.

How much longer must she look at you,
From a corner, dark, desolate, alone?
Before you spot her heart so true,
Innocent, mesmerising as moonstone.

The other woman is shunned, hopeless,
Banished to the lowest of sinners to be,
When all she wanted was to access,
The love she wanted, her last plea.

My love for you crosses the seas,
Fills it with the tears of my passion,
Which fall from the skies heavenward,
Pure as the angels I imagine there to be.

My love for you is untouchable,
Invisible and delicate as the wind,
Powerful as a raging hurricane,
Destructive and beautiful as it spins.

My love for you is fiery as a flame,
Burning, alive with the throes of adoration,
An everlasting blaze through the night,
Illuminating everything within.

My love for you is undoubtable,
So when you ask me how much,
My love for you is in numbers or scale,
Know I love you more than you'll ever know.

*Infinitely.

My baby is gone,
She's left to the skies,
Leaving me mellow,withdrawn.

I imagine her eyes,
Azure like the bluest seas,
Turning stormy when she cries.

How she squirms at a sneeze,
Those cherry, cherubic cheeks,
Enchanted by everything she sees.

The way her little hands seek,
My ring finger, her lifeline,
Listening deeply as I speak.

But alas! The babe I once called mine,
Left my side, without a sound,
Before her time.

I touch my belly which once was round,
The hollowness and emptiness within,
And envision you, heaven-bound.

I'm the loser walking down the street,
Whose eyes are downcast, fixed on his feet,
With nothing to live for, nothing to fight,
Just another day in the dark sans light.

In the clouded mirror, all he sees,
Is worthless trash lost in a bottomless sea,
Covered in scars from strangers on the streets,
Each a reminder of unforgettable defeats.

He doesn't know when or even the whys,
He's become afraid of people's eyes,
To look into the emptiness and see nothing,
To see them stare right through, unseeing.

He's the loser, crying on the streets,
Who has sank to the ground, down to his feet,
Nobody to turn to, nobody to care,
As the ache in his soul becomes too much to bear.

I'll dance until my ten toes are bruised,
My bones twisted, muscles misused,
To the symphony to my heart of which you have abused,
I'll perform only for you, my one and only Muse.

My heart beats to the song of which I am bound,
I twirl and leap endlessly as if wound,
A tireless Ballerino, making nary a sound,
Prancing and contorting on stoic ground.

I can feel them slipping from my mind,
The colors, the voices, dulling to mute,
Leaving me in darkness, with only echoes to find.

I was once abstract, now an astute,
My once random splashes of warring colors,
Now caged and barred by lines, grids, of refute.

My masterpiece! Destroyed, and overcast by pallor,
Of sickeningly straight, geometrically perfect lines,
Now lays in tatters, a ghost of my creative power.

This is a plead, from my heart which still pines,
Don't let yourself go, don't let yourself hide,
*Don't ever, let them restrict you with their lines.

Good afternoon, good evening, how do you do?
All around are smiles that don't reach their eyes,
Pleasantries that are empty, well wishes that are untrue.

Where do you think you're going *****?
Stop, I need to tell you some things which,
May break your pretty silicon heart,
So buckle yourself up, I'm about to start.

You think that with your haughty smile,
You're better than all of us by a mile,
Sad to shatter your fantasy world,
Now it's time to watch reality unfurl.

My beauty and strength make your toes curl,
My unbreakable spirit makes you want to hurl,
You can crush me beneath your six-foot frame,
But just know that there'll never be any shame.

Honoured to be the topic of your day,
The highlight of the **** you say,
I'm sneezing from the stench, my eyelids they twitch,
The rumours you spout, make my ears itch.

Unhappy to see my smiling face?
Do your eyes burn, to behold my grace?
Exit to the left right out of my life,
Before I come after you with a ten-inch knife.

My words, they flow like estuaries,
From my fingertips to the seas,
Spindly, twisting, winding veins,
That run through evergreen plains.

Each word is rich with emotion,
Like the countless fish in motion,
Some vibrant, some dull, some,
Alive and some, floating with bellies above.

When thunder roars and lightning strikes,
And the Heavens in the sky start to cry,
My feelings they overflow, flooding over,
And all around must take cover.

For the once beautiful waves, are now,
Violent, destructive, and they plow,
Mercilessly through the haven in my heart,
Wrecking my world, part by part.

Stay just a moment longer,
Even though your love is stronger,
For a girl I've not yet met,
I'm not letting go just yet.

I'll bet she has the eyes,
Of the brightest, bluest, skies,
Glowing skin of ivory white,
Hair of flowing, iridescent light.

She'll have the loveliest voice,
And an elegant, beautiful poise,
A gentle, yet bruising, caress,
That leaves your heart in a mess.

Isn't that the reason why,
You look at me and sigh?
Because I'm not the girl you like,
Not much longer you'll be by my side.

You'll never bring me down,
No matter how hard you try,
You can shake,
And you can break,
But know I'll never forsake,
The paths I made,
They'll never fade,
Under your strings of tirade,
Cause the sticks may break my bones,
But the words I take and own...

You say "Freedom of speech" is to destroy the mold,
Yet you turn against an adolescent boy,
Immature, ignorant, only sixteen summers old.

Expressing his confusion, and burning resentment,
With words that scald, expressions that scream,
Opinions that spar with the voice of societal assent.

Instantly in seconds, the barrel of Justice and Laws,
Is directed between the eyes of the wretched,
The fury of the people, cold as the bullet only he saw.

Nary a scream we heard as the trigger,
Blasts off into oblivion, blowing out,
Chunks of creativity and blood of passion.

*"You shouldn't have said that,
It's wrong what you said,
Think twice before you pen, speak with caution."

My heart is like a rose,
So red, so true,
Yet bounded by thorns,
That scar and mar.

Blue veins scream out,
For sweet release,
Don't think, don't doubt,
Ignore them and cease.

The blood within,
It screams, it writhes,
Longing to be free, to rise, to sin,
Against purple veins and arteries it vies.

The voices in your head have tormented you so,
Your mind, now a prison to your blackened soul,
The screaming and shrieking that echoes inside,
Your hollowed, rusty heart, and emptied mind.

Memories, to you, are but a distant fantasy,
A life before the war in you raged the thousand seas,
Of a life before the voices hiding in your head,
Stole everything away, every name, every friend.

You look around the room of familiar strangers,
Faces you know, but simply can't remember,
Your heart clenches as you look at each one,
Calling you Daddy, Grand-Papa and Son.

You no longer see with your mind and eyes,
But rather with your heart and soul,
For your head and mind is your enemy,
Lost to the wailing voices in your brain.

Tell me you love me,
As you gaze into my eyes,
Leaving kisses for all to see,
In violet, yellow and cerise.

Show me your fiery passion,
As you scream out my name,
Expletives a mere expression,
Of feelings that drive you insane.

Make me feel your adoration,
With your bruising touch,
With the heart of a nation,
To make me love you as such.

They tried to tear you from my brain,
But my heart wouldn't let you go,
Although I may have forgotten your name,
Butterflies in me remember you so.

The grief consumes me from within,
As I run my fingers on the soil,
Six feet above your stone-cold heart.

I've lost the burning in my fingers,
The spark within my soul,
The light in my eyes that lingers,
When a fire ravishes me whole.

My words have been driven away,
Replaced by derivatives and sines,
My erratic thinking and impulsive way,
Ridiculed by logical lines.

Slowly, my mind has been eroded,
Pounded, molded and reformed,
Until my eyes are totally blanked,
And my essence is forever lost.

For now my pen no longer moves,
In hurried chicken scratch,
But rather, in uniformed loops,
Making a perfect black stitch.

Take me under your wing,
Shield me from prying eyes.

Shine on my black heart,
Purge me of my pain.

The shoe won't fit...the shoe won't fit...

Cinderella sits on the velvet stool.

My toes won't fit...my heels won't fit...

She desperately crams her foot into the shoe.

The glass it burns...cool against my blood...

Her curtain of locks mask her scrunched-up face.

Just a little longer....just a minute more...

She holds back the tears smarting in her eyes.

It fits...it fits...I'll make it fit...

Slowly, she gets on her own two feet.

A better life...better future...

*She grits her teeth, walking forward, step by step, scarlet tears dripping from her mangled feet.

I'll rock you gently from side to side,
Singing lullabies.

I spin around in circles,
Watching the world blur away.

Let your heat emanate,
Your embers, fiery as your flame.

A tear fills an ocean,
Drowning me with bitter rage.

Hello, hi, how do you do?
Greetings and pleasantries slipping through,
With the Cheshire smiles we paste upon our face,
The ****** wine staining our immaculate teeth

Look at the weather, how you've been?
Conversation gliding right on through,
Scarlet lips curled back in smirks,
Disguised as "nice to meet you"s.

Goodbye, farewell, see you again?
With a dismissive, careless wave of a hand,
We part and stride away from another,
Detached, in a spell of Hellos.

Run, hide, cover your eyes,
Won't you play the game?
One, two, three, four,
Don't you try to peek.

Listen hard, in the dark,
Five, six, seven,
Listen for the screams of fear,
The rumbling of the earth.

Feel the world crashing down,
Eight, nine, and ten,
The concrete crumbling into dust,
The crushing of the bones.

Breathe it in, breathe it clear,
Eleven, twelve, thirteen,
The smell of fire and smoldering embers,
Dangerously near.

Open your mouth, let it free,
Fourteen, fifteen, sixteen,
Let the shrieks of pain and sadness,
Rip away from your throat.

Don't uncover your eyes,
Keep your hands over your face,
*"It will protect you my dear,
From the anxiety and the fear."

You say that you love me,
Passion screaming in your eyes,
As your fingers caress my skin,
Adorning my limbs with green and black.

You say that you need me,
Desperation in every tremble,
As you wrap your fingers round my neck,
Marking me as 'yours'.

You cry that you're sorry,
Hunching over me with guilt,
That hits you like a wave,
Looking at the broken girl lying on the floor.

If love is always this twisted,
This deceitful and manipulative,
Then I'd rather not love at all,
Than go through this twisted hell,

**That they call love.

"Keep your head up,"
My mother used to say,
How could I now,
When I barely could stand?

For my knees are too weak,
To hold up my fragile frame,
Anchored to the floor,
By the weight of the world.

"Ten tiny breaths,"
My father used to say,
How could I take ten,
When one was a struggle?

For each tear down my face,
Holds an ocean of sadness,
Filling my lungs,
With each staggering breath.

"Don't you dare give up,"
My sister used to say,
But how could I not,
When life was this hard?

When every step I took,
Cut the soles of my feet,
When every smile that I forced,
Felt like pins to my face?

The apologies I feel,
The thank you's flooding my heart,
Are simply not enough,
To tie me down to this life.

So I'm sorry to my family,
But it's killing me inside,
This life of mine,
Is not worth your lines.

I'm stressed, I'm angry,
They don't understand,
The rage that burns within me,
The fury in my veins.

"It's adolescent thinking,
That rush in your brain,
The twitching of your fingers,
The scorching of your heart."

Yet they don't seem to see,
With their condescending eyes,
That the feelings trapped within me,
Are more than adolescent.

The rage I feel to ****,
The need for blood to spill,
The coating of metallic liquid,
Over my pristine knuckles.

To them I'm very simply,
A 'normal adolescent',
And my fury will flee,
When I finally mature.

But I can see it in their eyes,
The suppressed demons that they hide,
Away from the public eye,
From their 'adolescent' years.

So until I'm what they call 'mature',
I'll just have to stay,
Angry, uncontrollable,
And simply adolescent.

Who will remember the horrors you've seen?
The cruelty of man, the destruction of war?
The falling of your men, one by one,
Their blood soaking the soil, your feet tread upon?

Who will remember the adrenaline in your veins?
The hazy vision, obscured by waves of pain,
Numbing, overtaking, all five of your senses,
Yet, you pushed on, step after step.

Who will remember the desolate feeling?
The draining of hope, from all of your hearts,
As you watched your friends, fall alongside you,
The life, slipping away, into the hands of God.

Who will remember the loneliness?
The feel of the cool earth against your back,
The weight of your world upon your neck,
As you recalled loved ones you'll never see again.

Every night is an abyss,
Of which I struggle to survive,
Pitch-black voids of nothingness,
Keeping myself alive.

Do you see meadows of green,
Upon forests of daisies,
Or do you see a dear one,
So close yet so far?

I see none, hear none,
All that surrounds me is dark,
Every night a ****** battle,
To keep myself sane.

But I fear that one day,
I will lose the battle,
Never to wake again,
For I am, dreamless.

The girl standing in the corner, all alone,
Wearing the face kept in a jar by the door,
Cries silently in the night when she's at home,
And nobody's there to see her fall to the floor.

Do you see the pink lines peeking out,
Under thick layers of cotton, in the hot summer day?
Do you hear the sound of her heart,
Cracking, shattering, with every insult she takes?

I don't think you do, I honestly don't,
From the way you stare with scornful eyes,
To the acid that drips from you lips,
I can tell that you don't know what your words can do.

Her mind is constantly haunted with Death,
Taunting with every razor caressing her flesh,
Every drop of blood flowing down her arm,
Bringing her closer to the point of no return

I say that I'm fine,
But truly, I'm not,
Haven't you seen the scars,
Hidden under my sleeves?

Haven't you ever wondered,
Why I wear coats in summer,
Why I cover every inch of skin,
When it's a hundred degrees?

You believe I'm fine,
And I appreciate it, I do,
For it means I'm getting better,
At hiding the truth.

These lies emerge, when all I want is to tear,
This mask off my face,
These sleeves off my wrist,
And tell you outright that I'm not fine

My body is battered,
Riddled with wounds,
Scratched and bruised,
Bloodied and scarred.

My heart is pounding,
My lungs, suffocated,
Yet I continue to breathe,
In soft labored breaths.

My head is held high,
Looking down in defiance,
Refusing to die,
To ever think to give up.

So hit me with your worst,
I'm not the least afraid,
**** me if you must,
You'll never see me cry.

Look at the size of that chalk outline,
The evidence labelled from one to nine,
Hear the sirens cry throughout the night,
The screams of despair, the gasps at the sight.

For the chalk outline, common it was,
White powder stained with drops of blood,
Outlining a corpse, a reflection of death,
But this one was less, than two feet in length

Lie to me, my darling,
Protect my fragile heart,
From a world so confusing,
From weapons laced with truths.

Lie to me, my love,
Comfort my hungry heart,
Let honey-infused venom,
Run freely from your lips.

Arteries are red,
Veins are blue,
I hate Biology,
I really do.

My body is black,
My heart now blue,
Beat up and battered,
From the time I loved you.

Bruises, they fade,
Into mere memories,
They lighten in shade,
And vanish, no pain.

But sometimes at my waist,
I swear I can see,
Your arm wrapped around me,
In black, blue and green.