I'll watch them
Appreciate them from afar
To tell them my feelings
Would be ridiculous
Because I am not in love
I probably never will be

I'll watch them
Their blue grey hair
Their blue green eyes
I might got lost
When they're locked on mine
But I know full well
And I keep it to myself
That it doesn't mean a thing

I'll watch them
The painting behind my eyes
The first thing I see
The last before I fall asleep at night
Fondly sketched
Tattooed into my spine
But nothing here is permanent
And they'll die after a while

I'll watch them
Take in the scent
Of every breath
I'll sit quietly
Unmindfully
While the earth continues to turn
While their hair grows out
While I become stone

Pick yourself up off the ground and find another quiet place to cry.
The crying isn't the problem; it's the people who see you.

Bury yourself old novels.

Go to therapy and order coffee afterwards,
But always go through the drive-thru.
You can't let them see you fully.

Take your medicine instead of stockpiling pills like a suicidal squirrel.
Attempts won't get you anywhere, you know you're too afraid to die.

Make some friends and fall in love with all of them.
Know that they will never love you back but do it anyways.
If someone tells you you mean something, they're lying.
That's what happens when you're sad.
People pity you.
The last thing you need is pity.

You said you're dressed like a Hozier song
One of the ***** ones, of course
Your eye contact is one of the few things
That can still light me on fire
Burn me
Burn me

Everyone wants to
Be exceptional
But no one wants to
Be the hypocrite
Who made it that way

At school
I feel okay
I spend that day
Focusing on getting home

Then I reach it
And I just can't seem
To feel anything at all

I am the sea
I am the endless
Waves of shining green
I am the sea
I am gently waving
Sea anemones

I am the depths
I am the crevice
In which fish slept
I am the murk
I am the waters
In which sharks lurk

I am the tide
I am a servant
To moons I abide
I am the shore
I am the closest
To Earth's molten core

I am the vast
I am the waters
That will forever last
I am the lost
I am the shelter
For life that land forgot

So when, again
Are you gonna get out of my head
Leave my daydreams
And take me by the hand
Lead me out
Onto the floor
At this ****** high school dance
Fortnite dance
Because you know
It ****** me off
Until we get kicked out
For being too loud

That's okay
We'll just head back to your place
Watch some awful
Horror movies
While your hand
Sneaks up my leg
I'll probably kick you
And pin you down
But that's how you like it
Isn't that right
Bite my neck
Until I beg you to stop
Tickle my sides
To break the silence
And wait a while
For me to fall asleep
Just so you can wake me up
And remind me
That it was just a dream

The morning air
Seeping in through open windows
Settles a chill in my bones
Goose flesh
Dots my legs
And pasty cheeks
My finger tips pulsate
With the numb
The tip of my nose
Is stained cherry pink
While my nails turn blue
And my mind stop turning
Freezing over slowing
In that harsh, morning air

I can close my eyes and see it
Feel my hands in our sheets
The soft mattress under me
I could look up and see your face
If I wanted
Watch you sit down next to me
Wrap your arms around me
Fall back
On our very own bed

We will have a space that is all our own someday
We'll be there soon
With LEDs and black and white pictures
I printed out from my family's home computer
Posters and your knives
A closet full of black clothes
Boots and high tops lined up near the door

It'll be our place
We can kiss and cry
And talk on the phone
Stay up all night wrapped up in each other
Sometimes talking sometimes
Just breathing
Feeling the beating of our hearts
So so alive

Watching the sun rise
With bleary eyes half closed then opened wide
Witnessing beauty
With one awe
That we share between us

there will be nights
and darker days
where we lay in bed
one head on another's chest
when it just rains
and the dim lights outside
will be blurred and distant

but my hands will be in your hair
touching your gentle face
and i'll love you to the end of it
you know that

I don't owe you
You don't own me
I don't need to explain myself
I've said my piece
Now move on

Hideously underwhelming
I think I can see cave lights
Off in the distance
You radiate everything
Bad memories and
A cold, calculated concept
I shiver as you shake me
Slowly out of my corporeal body
Sending me to a new dimension
Surrounded by the light
Of a thousand almost fireflies
But it's a cold light
Nothing friendly or familiar
And ants are crawling
Up and down the bones of my spine
Reminding me
Of crisp October evenings
That find me slowly rotting
Dead with or without your love

Beautifully
Indecent
Lost in foggy dreams
Your face is still
The only thing I see
When I close my eyes
To shut out the light
Of a cold
Harsh world
Without you

Every night
Is another night
Where you come home
As a wheelchair girl
Each night
Is a fairytale
Where I'm lost in you
Inside your world
Begging you
Upon waking breath
To lose your fears
And find me again

It's me
It's the bitter ache
Watching the leaves
Move on trees
Outside
It's the deep rooted
Wrongness
That pervades me
It's the sickness
That's growing
Little sprouts of doubt
Littering my bones
It's the saddest melody
That she sings
It hits me
Flattens me
It's me

I'm devastated
That you were just an excuse
I was used
As were you

I always knew you were never real
We were just two girls, playing pretend
Sending loveless souls
Across the code
But I loved you
In some perverted way, I loved you

You ****** me up
And by that I mean
I ****** me up
You were my image
My northern star
When you were gone
I was willfully lost
Decided it was time
To destroy it all

We played our game
For far too long
Letting go was a relief
An excuse to be
The ****** up kid
I'd always dreamed of
Back when my dreams weren't nightmares
And my nightmare wasn't my reality

It wouldn't be fair to say you broke me
You didn't
You chose me
Just as I chose you
My perfect self destruction
And like him later on
We were a force together
We tore holes together
We were the people
You don't write home about together

In the end
We were just kids
I can't say I regret this
I don't know what to say
Except that I meant it

Love
Simple, yet beautiful
The flow and dart of
Upstream fishes
Fighting the current
I see it around me
In texts and hearts and
Casual conversation
But it is not casual
And I do not have it
Empathy is slipping out of reach
Similar
But all too different.
You like heat
Standing in the sun your head up
Children's things
Music
Don't touch my hand
Shy away because It's Me
And I am not enough
I'd like to think I hate everyone
But I think
I just don't know how to interact with people

I hope you don't mind
If I'm too excited to see you
I can't wait to read
The story you wrote
And show you mine too
We love the same songs
So tell me about your bands
I might compliment
Your hair again
Please don't get tired

I think you're really cool
I like your rainbow socks
And all your tees
And the way you tease
And talk about your cats
Your axolotls seem rad
Just like you
I hope things go well
And I hope you don't mind
If I'm thinking of you

I like your shirt
You like my hat
I like your hair
You like my necklace
It's not mine
But you could be
Sorry
I'm cheesy
That happens sometimes

I've known for a while now
That I love you
I love you like the sun
Beating down with so much radiance
I love you in your sweaters
And your high heeled boots
Walking on the side of the road
Through the rain
Like it's nothing
I love you in green
And black
And yellow and blue
I love you when you're turned away from me
Doing what you love most
And I love you when you ask me
To come and sit with you
I love being with you
I love you

This has been a rough few week
Hah, more like months
Why are we dancing like this
Spinning 'round in circles
Never touching, never leaving
I can't be the only one who's tired of this

But can you imagine a life
Where we finally meet
Touch in the middle
Fall in love
I know that isn't me
But it could be

In a world where I'm strong
Where I can make you laugh
Sit in the back
Smiling and flash peace signs
Laughing in the halls
Would you still walk me to class
Hold my hand if I asked
I can imagine you when you drive
Screeching and dramatic
Blasting Boy Division and
Eyes glued to the road

We don't talk about serious things
In normal places
Words slip out into
Normal conversations
Bleeding from the edges
Are we closer now
Or further away

I have a lot of questions for you
That I'll never ask
Like if I'm good enough
If you could ever even love me
Why you asked about my boyfriend
And decided to confide
In the middle
Of a highschool cafeteria
It's not that I mind
I just want to ask why

Tomorrow, I won't see you
Will we still talk
Or will a silence fall
Like the snow that won't come
And deafen us forever
Will I sit with you again
Laugh with all your friends
You seemed happy enough
Was that what you wanted all along
Do you do what I do

Can you ever fall asleep
On a cloudy afternoon
Would you wake up
If I asked you to
If the sun was rising
From behind the clouds
If the blinds weren't down
Would you let me
Hold your hamster
And what was with those eyes
When I said the only thing I want
Is someone to sing
The other half
Of Promiscuous with me
Were you thinking about it
When you asked me to put you on my shoulders
At the MCR concert
What did you mean
When you said we'd go to a break room
For your birthday party
Who else would be there
I can't imagine
It'd just be me

And if we do meet
What does that mean
Can I pet your hair
Pick you up and run
While you struggle and giggle
And not quite scream
What did you mean
When you said your best friend was emo
Did you mean me
You were looking at me
Am I the closest thing you have
To a friend at this point
What happened last year
I can see you flunking
But not without reason
Who are you
Beneath all of your clothes
What made you this way
Who shaped you
Into the being
You are today

Can we lift sometime
Go to a shop
I can body block
Or maybe just hit the road
Complain about my family's
Unspiced plain taco meat
It's not my fault
They are like that
You know that too
I like that

Would you listen to a song
If I sent it to you
And I know that there's
A reason you left the friend group
Are you worth giving up
Everybody else
Something in me screams
That you just might be
And what if we do
What if we end up
In rural New Jersey
Driving up for the weekends
Or down to your apartment
To stay up and sleep in
Would you lay next to me
Stay up with me
Read and talk and ***** to me
Would you be everything I need

I couldn't be yours forever
I wouldn't be yours at all
And I can see you
With that stupid, self satisfied half smile
Hands on your hips
Androgynous
Content to let me
Be my own person
Yeah, I can see that
I can feel the rise and fall of your chest
Maybe we'll roadtrip
With your old friends who smoke ****
They could drive
Stay up all night
You'd fall asleep on me in the backseat
No stops in town
Just gas stations
And fields of grey grasses
Your friend would download
Really bad movies
Play them on an iPad
Propped up on the dashboard
Feet up, head back
Singing that life's just like that
We could pull over
To the side of the road
Get out, stretch our weary limbs
I can see you squatting down
Picking up rocks and stones
I wouldn't kiss you then
Maybe wouldn't ever
But I'd watch your back
Would you watch me back
Would you watch me too

Would you look in my eyes
And see something other
Than the standard grey blue
Would you find religion
In my hands and fingers
I hope you wouldn't
I don't want you to
Would you appraise my body
As just another creature
A vessel for my soul
And would you care
Would you stand with me
When it mattered
Or would you walk away

Would things be the same
As they were at the start
Shaking hands
Sitting on the floor, reading books
Swinging at the park
Maybe I know you now
What you're doing
Walking past me
Never looking back at me
You want me to follow you
Through highs and lows
Thick and thin
And I can't chase you forever
I don't even want to

But you saw something in me
You answered me
You remembered
National Emo Day
You asked me to play drums
While you played bass
You asked me what I thought
About your hair
You showed me your dogs
Texted me about bands
And I think you meant it
When you shook my hand
Greeted me
Asked to meet with me
Didn't ignore me
On the first day back
Even when you saw your friends
You sat outside in the cold
Rejected the good table
And put up with me
Even when my jokes didn't land
And I stepped on your toes
Crossed your lines
Wasted your time

So do you sleep in the light
Do you think there's a heaven
After this life
What happened with your parents
Where do you want to go
Have you ever loved someone
Do I really want to know
Who was that one ex
The one even skinnier than me
Will you laugh while I cry
Or will you look away from me
Are your scared of being broken
Or far past ready to break
Do you want to fall in love right now
Or will I have to wait

theressomuchinthisworldforusallsowhen i hearpeoplesaythatthey want to die irelatebut i dontand cant understandwhytheywantto do this anymore i usedto never behappyanditwashellandivebeentherebutnowimhappyimhappywithmylifei­mhappywithmyselfimfinallybecomingthepersonivealwayswantedtobeican­finallyseethebeautyoftheworldandthebeautyinsidemyselfandi will alwaysseeitafterallthoseyearsofsayingthatiwouldnever be enough ifinallyamenoughand i dont care whatpeoplethink about anything idoaslongasitmakesmehappybecauseiamstrongandiamenoughand i am tired of being someonelsesdoormatbecauseimstill alive andimlivingformenowand i
amnevergoingtosaythati cant dosomethingbecauseicanandimgoingto get themost out oflife

It's been over a year now
Soon to be two
And I'm still thinking about you
I don't really look for you anymore
I don't fantasize about seeing you as often
I'm moving on
To different things
But I still want to see you again

Would you even recognize me
With my short hair
And slightly different body
I picture seeing you on the street
In your jeans and t-shirt
Me in leggings and a Manson hoodie
Our eyes meet and you recognize me
Maybe we even speak
Exchange telephone numbers and
Arrange to see each other again

But plans fall through
And it won't happen anyways
I missed you by mere seconds
Maybe one more day
Just one more day
Would've been enough
But you had already lost me
I was already gone

I'm just a mistake
Don't belong to anyone
Broken
Misspoken
I wasn't supposed to be born at all
Writing this in the gym
Where I thought about slitting my wrists
It takes a while to realize
That while everything else changed
I did not
I'm the same thing
That wasn't supposed to survive

I can feel their eyes on me
But I don't see them anymore
I don't see anything
Space out frequently
I won't remember this in the morning
There's no point of living, I think
But it doesn't matter what I think

It's cold outside
And it smells like the sea
What if this what it
I died in a car crash
Rose up into the air
Swept away
By the salt in the breeze
I'd never be sad
But I'd never be happy

Feelings
They berate me
I don't know what I feel for you
Or why
This is beginning to suffocate me

Insecurities
Both inside and out
Am I attracted to you?
Or am I simply so lonely
That I'm clinging to you

How am I to say
Why I want to kiss you
And dance with you
When I've never kissed before
And never danced but alone

One cannot miss what
They have not had
But I miss you
And your flaws
Anyways

Scared to make a move
I couldn't love you if I wanted to
I don't want to
If I see you again
I might fall for you anyways

I'm still learning
Learning to be loved
Learning to be beautiful
Learning to watch the blood
Dripping from my ceiling
And recognize it
As just a dream
Learning to be kind
Learning to be pure
Learning to shower three times a week
Learning that I
Am a creature of the night
Learning that the moon is beautiful
And darkness is my friend
Learning how to sleep
And learning how to dream
Learning that dreams
Are the only way we truly see

I want to be in your arms
You are warmth and safety
To bury my face in your neck
Breathe in your scent
Is heaven for me
It's a blissful kind of misery
But I'm safe with you
I know what to expect

I need to be with you
Press my lips against your cheek
Your nose, your eyelids
Curl up inside you
Let your arms engulf me
I want to fall asleep on your chest
Drift through dreams of you and me
Live alone in your oasis

I'm so emo
I never wash my clothes
I'm so emo
I can't even blow my nose

I'm so emo
My life's a tragedy
I'm so emo
Fringe is too long I can't see

I'm so emo
Mixing hipster with some goth
I'm so emo
Who is David Hasselhoff

I'm so emo
Twerking to Ronnie Radke
I'm so emo
My friend calls all her friends “daddy”

I'm so emo
I’ve got all three chokers on
I'm so emo
My squad’s called “Satan's spawn”

I'm so emo
I died in 2013
I'm so emo
I'm gonna cry myself to sleep

"I'm sorry"
I say
As if I ever chose this
As if I ever wanted this to happen
I know it's hard for you
It's hard for all of us
But out of all the people who cried that night
I probably cried the least

You don't understand what it's like
To sit up in the middle of the night and look
At your own reflection
In the fourth floor window of a hospital room
And think
"I've lost my mind"
Because that is the worst it ever gets
And I got there

And my thighs were stained
Red for so many days
From the chaffing of the hospital scrubs
As I am carried  away
In a car with a locked glass division
A bag of all my things and
The only thing I'm sorry for
Is the fact that this didn't happen sooner

People say that death is so bad
That death is a horrible monster that
Comes in the middle of the night
And steals away their children
So what if those children were meant to be stolen?
So what if that is the only way to truly move on?
So please
Continue to villainize my only escape
And I will be sorry
That you can't understand

I know that I am different
Say that that's good
That things needed to change
But truth be told I can't recognize myself anymore
That girl in the mirror isn't me
Because part of me did die that night
How can I be expected to come back
And look at you all as my friends
When I can't even look at myself?

I guess I am sorry
I'm sorry that I made you look at me
In that way that broke anything close to the trust
That we never had
I'm sorry for all the cuts and the scars and
I'm sorry that they are all there for a reason
I'm sorry that I am never going to be the same
I'm sorry that I am never going to be okay and
I can't change that

I'm sorry that all those nights that I couldn't sleep because
I knew that I had lost everything
Cannot be changed
You say those nights were wasted
My mind is wasted
But is it really a waste
When we are all going to the same place
Six feet underground
Then
Maybe
My mind will be wasted

I'm sorry that I'm angry
And bitter
And that I don't back down even if I should
And if I'm not right, I hurt people
If I am right, I hurt myself
I know that it seems
Like I am doing this on purpose but
It all comes back to killing the thing
That says it is me
But is not

I'm sorry that I looked at him
When I should've looked away
I'm sorry that an hour in the backyard
Of all the broken and forgotten people
Is the closest I've ever come to happiness
And I'm sorry that if getting better means
Leaving them
And coming back home to here
I don't want to get better at all

I'm sorry that I couldn't stop shaking
I'm sorry that the wheelchair rattled and
Nurses asked if I wanted a blanket
As I sat in that waiting room
With all the people and their broken bodies
It was me alone
With a broken mind
Did I embarrass you then?

So I'm sorry that
You have a perfect sob story
You can write your poems and
Tell your friends all about
How a perfectly good girl met such
A tragic fate
I'm sorry that this had to happen to you
Sorry that I happened to you

"I'm sorry"
Are you happy now?

Imagine that someday, I will be happy
Imagine living not alone
but with an apartment full of roommates
It doesn't matter if they're the people I made promises to
The future is full of empty spaces
waiting to be filled

But god, how I miss them
Everyone
Every single memory
scrolling through her instagram
smiling because she's doing well
I truly hope that everyone is doing okay
I hope that you're all growing up and moving on
more than I am

Old times
Sting like
Fresh wounds
What would happen
If I cut until I bled
Then watched my life trickle out
A flood from within my veins
Staining my sheets
Ruining my bed

Lie awake for me
Tangle yourself in your sheets and
Think about me
You haven't seen me in three days
It's spring break
I promise you this
I won't text you back
Maybe you believe I hate you
That's okay I just
Need to know what it feels like
To have someone waiting

I hope you can fall in love
With silence because
I love silence more than anything
But not enough to stop you from breaking it
Break it
And I'll break your trust
Take me back
Don't ask me to explain
I won't
I have a warehouse worth
Of second chances

I cry because of you
I'll  let you know but
Don't think you can catch me
You know me well enough to know
I don't open up
But not well enough to know why and
I'll  play my favorite song for you
You'll never know why
It makes me smile
But you'll know
All too well
That it makes me cry
When you aren't around
I know that you think
It's all to do
With you
I'll swear it's not
It is

I feel like a failure
Because I don't know what to do
Some stories are self deprecating
Most of them, actually
So will you laugh
Or am I just embarrassing

Is my stupid hair
A sign of independence
Or just something else
That makes me different
Am I everything you want
Or everything you dread

Am I a trainwreck
Already in full force
Careening off the tracks
Surrounded by bystanders
I guess it'd be funny
If I wasn't me

I'm okay with being the mess
Playing the disaster
I'm outside of myself
So it doesn't matter
If I play the fool
I'm laughing too

If I find you
Will you mind
My broken windows
My rotted steps
The rats
In my head
And the bats
In the basement
Will you mind
The smokestacks
And boarded
Up doorways
Will you recognize
That I don't want
For you to leave
I just want
Someone to
Break inside

Mix lavender in
With my ashes
So the ghosts can't take me away
I know it's cold
And you want to go home
But I really wish you would stay

Soft leather words
Sliding on my skin
As if I'd ever forget
The way we stayed
Forever at
Each other's sides
Your hand
Not quite in mine
Light hearted laughter
Echoing through the dark
Corners of my mind
Breaking through
Like sunbeams
In a storm
Beautifully
Crazily
How you all accept me
Crashing words
Stripped of lies
I'll miss you
But I'll smile

I'd rather see the world
Through a broken glass
Fragmented
Like I'm an insect
I'd rather see you
Looking through my bangs
You're blurry now
Like I'm dying
I'd rather see myself
Well
I'd rather not see myself
At all

Can I please
Be something more
Than empty

If going to the park
At three in the morning to get ******
And talk about what we do and don't know
Is a waste of time
I'll gladly waste away my life

If running barefoot
In the construction lot
Behind the local cemetery
Is no way to make friends
Well
I suppose I'll have to risk it

If loving while I can
Unashamed
With no makeup on
Won't get me anywhere
I guess I'll stay
Right where I am

If dropping out of college
And moving to New Jersey
Because my girlfriend is a wildfire
And I don't mind the burning
Is a stupid way to live my life
Well
I guess

It looks like I
Am set to waste my time
And hang around
With the exactly wrong crowd
And dance in the rain
In the same old parking lot

Perhaps in your eyes
I am a waste of life
Another burned out youth
Old by seventeen and
Tattered in a trailer park

Build your life
Make your connections
Keep waiting for life
To come to you
And when you die
In your socially acceptable town

Me and my friends
Will be long dead
Rotting away
In the very same place
When the gods die
And the world rusts
We will not be remembered as the ones who changed the world
We won't be remembered at all
We will simply be the ones
Who danced while they could
Who ran out in the weather
When everyone else stayed inside
We will be the ones who loved the most
And fell the farthest
We will have learned all there is to know
All the lessons of a cruel world
We will die unspectacularly
We will have raging two person parties
We will die with heads full of memories
From dreams we chased like wrathes
We will be the ones who did not sit and wait
And in the end
We will always be the fortunate ones

Crazy good friends
Come as a black
Haired girl
A wheelchair boy
A tall slim smile
Pink hair
And balloon shreds
Popped out
On the deck
Running down the halls
Laughing until sides stop
French words faded
Next week
Too far away
Five weeks later
Still sitting
And dreaming
Curled up on
A leather couch
Under blankets
Over life
Dripping in slime
Dancing in their eyes
A group of crazy good friends
Waiting outside

I'm in a romantic mood tonight
Strangely soft and sappy
Or maybe I'm just
With the people I love
Talking and laughing and listening and growing
All tangled up
But no longer
A puppet of my emotions

I hate you sometimes
Because you exist
In every single guitar solo
And in every single crowd
I can hear your voice
Just around every turn.
Your eyes are always on me
Even when I'm alone
It's truly an intrusion
Of my privacy
I wish I minded just a little bit more
Maybe then, I could convince myself
That I don't really like you

And all of me knows
That we won't ever come close
To what I'm imagining
But you're older than me
I can picture you holding back
Watching me from the sidelines
As I watch you from the field
Our lives don't cross paths
Only a couple of times
But I can smell the chemistry
That heavy breath before a storm
Judging by that look on your face
When I catch you staring at me
I think you do too

Winter time
We all fall outside
Laughing and tumbling
Running
Vivacious and brilliant

Cold air bites my neck
You’re warm
With legs bare
Arms out wide
But I’m scared

Sun moves quickly
We sit on the floor
Rolling, rolling
On the edge of things
With people I don’t recognize

Teeth glint with sun
Goosebumps on arms and legs and skin
Boldness blossoms
I change my mind
You enter The Louvre

I want to hate people
I want to hate the humanity
That has made the world what it has become
But there's something so beautiful
About the sun setting over a city
About a rainy day in a small town
About rooftops
And faint lights
Seen from across the river

I want to hate people
But whenever I see our world
Just a glimpse of what we are when the cameras aren't rolling
I fall in love again

What if I
Was just a girl
An innocent thing
Golden hair
In streaming ringlets
Everything that you think
When you think of that girl
That perfect girl
So quiet and demure
Yet so full of life
Why
If I was just a girl
I think I'd go
Away
To
Die

Darling
We aren't done yet

Attending bar meetings
Taking AP
Dressing up
In "sensible" shoes
Monotonous speeches
And pretentious
Agreements
What happened to
My too big jeans
Chipped nail polish
Self cut fringe
Techno disco rock
Pop daydream
I'll go to college
When I'm eighteen
Until then
I'm just a kid
Don't ask me
About insurance
Or what car
I want
I haven't got
A clue
And neither
Did you

Lost and all
Alone inside
A darkened room
I've never seen
But I know
How it is
Doing the things
You never
Wanted and
Asking the
Sky how this
Came to be
Falling apart
From all the
Mistakes that
You didn't
Mean to
Make and
Watching the
World so far
From your
Home but
This isn't the
End and I
Swear to every
God I've
Never believed
In that I
Won't give
Up on you

I'm jealous
How can I feel this way
When you stay with me
And sit away from the world
With me
When I need you to

I'm jealous
Because everything you have
Is everything I don't
Surrounded by friends and family
A buzzing halo of love
As if you descended from heaven

I'm jealous
You have such strong faith
You have your God
And your mother
And I have nothing
But a handful of late night indecisions

So I guess I'm jealous
Of your sociability
Of your gilded belief
Of your orthodox childhood
I'm jealous of you
I will never be you

You are more
Than the stars
In the sky
At night
You're so much more

Just a delicate
Drop of dew
On my windowsill
Not waiting for me
Too close to touch

You're ethereal
Making the
Planets jealous
You're too close
To evanescence

Drowning
Even before the floodgates
Break
Pulled to the bottom
By an infinite weight
I'll never be able to lift it
All I can do
All any of us can do
Is wait

Because someday
These clouds will fade
The sky will clear
I'll feel the sun on my face
And it will be more
Than worth the wait

I'll hold my breath
Until the end of time
If it means that I
Will witness the stars
I'll fall apart
A thousands times
Just so I
Can someday be whole
And I will be
We will be
Just wait

Because someday
When the sun comes through
And the light breaks our bodies
We will rise
We will soar
Higher than birds
Seeing it all
For the first time
We'll finally fly

All it takes
Is the will to survive
And we will
Just wait