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sunshine Feb 3
there's no balance between
the fine line you made me walk
when you played me
high as a kite, we were just yelling
throwing shade and throwing dishes
she used to catch feelings
but now she's out there catching trains
I know you bought me those heels
but you can't ever get on my level
my head in the clouds
far above the smoke from this party
there's no going back once you're in it
that fine line I made you walk
I played my cards
now there's nothing left on the table
magic words
magic feelings
magic broken


xoxo
-sunshine
rgz Sep 2019
Assisting
Varieties
Of
Invalidation
Dancing
Around
Non
Compelling
Existence
hannah in summer Sep 2019
I hate you sometimes
Because you exist
In every single guitar solo
And in every single crowd
I can hear your voice
Just around every turn.
Your eyes are always on me
Even when I'm alone
It's truly an intrusion
Of my privacy
I wish I minded just a little bit more
Maybe then, I could convince myself
That I don't really like you

And all of me knows
That we won't ever come close
To what I'm imagining
But you're older than me
I can picture you holding back
Watching me from the sidelines
As I watch you from the field
Our lives don't cross paths
Only a couple of times
But I can smell the chemistry
That heavy breath before a storm
Judging by that look on your face
When I catch you staring at me
I think you do too
She doesn't look away. When I catch her eye, she doesn't look away. Sometimes we smile and make jokes, but then there's those moments where we stare at each other like fools until one of us realizes we're in public. It's awful. She's supposed to look away, or not look at all.
God, I wish she would just pull me on top of her and tell me to pin her down already. This is ******* terrible.
hannah in summer Aug 2019
*******
Seriously
****
You
*******
******* for everything you did
******* for leaving me to die
******* for turning me against
My own best friend
******* for leaving me
With all these scars
And mental problems
*******
Because I can't technically blame you
For anything
******* for telling stories
For saying that you
Liked me back
******* for answering
******* for saying that you cared
You never ******* cared
All you did was lie
And for once I am not to blame for that
All I was
Was ignorant
I didn't know
You were going to manipulate me
And her
You ****** us over
Together
So *******
For all the days I spent
Crying in the counselor's office
Too scared to show my face
******* for being the class clown
******* for being so nonchalant
******* for daring to say that you would miss me
When you saw my arms
And all the pills
I sent you pictures
You *******
And you texted everyone
Oh yes
What great gossip
She's going to **** herself
Wow
Wasn't that just the biggest news
And yet you couldn't care less
Because it was
My choice in the end
So ****
You
*******
And **** me too
I guess
Because at the end of the day
This will never stop
Being my fault
I've cried so many times over that *******. I really want to believe that this isn't on me but let's be honest; I'm just ******* like him and I brought this upon myself. I was the one who called him. I could've stopped. But I didn't.
EastWind Feb 2019
even though I don't have somebody,
I'll have me.
even if no one will wipe my tears,
I'll still be here.

I'm afraid,
of being alone,
until then I'll wait,
for someone to say
"hello."

I'm afraid that no one will miss me,
when I'm gone,
When I'm six feet underneath.

I'm afraid that no one will appreciate me,
no one will join their hands,
when I graduate,
or walk up that stage.

I'm terrified that my only somebody,
will leave me.
for someone so much better.

even if I have nobody.
nobody was there,
when I didn't have anybody,
and Nobody will be me.
And that's enough for me.
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