I feel like a failure Because I don't know what to do Some stories are self deprecating Most of them, actually So will you laugh Or am I just embarrassing
Is my stupid hair A sign of independence Or just something else That makes me different Am I everything you want Or everything you dread
Am I a trainwreck Already in full force Careening off the tracks Surrounded by bystanders I guess it'd be funny If I wasn't me
I'm okay with being the mess Playing the disaster I'm outside of myself So it doesn't matter If I play the fool I'm laughing too
I'm such a disaster lately. Either I hold it all in and keep my composure, or it all comes out and people stare. I guess I must look really stupid. I hope some people are amused by me. I laugh when I can, and pull away when I can't. I know I'm the joke here. I don't like it, but there's nothing else to do.
I miss the thought Of having someone by my side At least with him I could hold a fantasy close A world in which we loved truly Unconditionally Without physical limits
Now there is only cold And the linger scent Of sweat Staining my bed I want a friend To come and help me Rinse it all away Not to fix me Or make me whole But to help me find myself To love myself While they fall in love With them
Has anyone else seen all the Amber alerts recently. I really hope those people are okay, even though I know that they aren't. Anyways, I miss having ridiculously close relationships. I don't even necessarily want romance, I just want someone to grow with.